Hawk's Holiday.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters but I wish I did. Hasbro Inc owns them, and Devils Due Publishing is publishing their books. Don't bother suing me because suing broke people is so counter-productive.

This story is set in the comic continuity.

Chapter 2: Meetings.

"You want us to what?" Flint asked loudly.

Duke had gathered a small group of co-conspirators in his plan to get Hawk to go on vacation. Flint, Lady Jay, Spirit, and Beach Head were on one side of the table. Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Stalker, and Psyche-Out were on the other. This group made up the most of the command staff of GI Joe, and most of the people closest to Hawk.

"I want you to help me convince Hawk to go on a vacation for his health and well being. Not to mention the rest of the team's." Duke replied with a slight smile. "I figured if this group couldn't, no one could."

"Well I'm all for it," Scarlet said enthusiastically." Hawk's been under a lot more strain than usual. What with the Jugglers continually breathing down his neck, Cobra getting more and more brazen in their efforts, and of course being the administrator of this particular nuthouse didn't help matters much. I don't think even Snake-Eyes here could handle all of that without snapping."

Snake Eyes nodded in agreement. I concur, he signed.

"I am in agreement as well. All of us need our rest sometimes. Especially our leader who carries a burden far greater than any of us." Spirit intoned.

"Uhh, yeah. What he said. I agree." Stalker said.

"Count me in as well." Lady Jay said.

"All right, in for a penny and all of that. I'm in." Flint said.

"I guess I'm in as well," Beach Head said. "That scene in my office with the coffee mug was bad enough. I'm sure we all need a repeat of that 'Mentok' mess from a few months ago."

There was a collective groan from around the table, and Lady Jay put her head down on the conference table. The incident the team's Command Sergeant Major referred to occur after Hawk fell down a few flights of stairs one day at the PIT. He had aggravated his back and was laid up in bed for days. Lifeline had prescribed him some medication that would help with the pain, but he cautioned Hawk that it could have some odd side effects like delirium, or just plain acting silly. Firewall, one of their new computer techs gave him a gift to help him pass the time. She had copied onto DVD, a cartoon series called Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. It featured a bunch of characters from the Hanna-Barbara stable of characters acting in rather odd ways and ending up needing the services of the title character. Hawk admitted that he was a fan of these old cartoons and Firewall thought that he would enjoy this. He watched it and thought it was the funniest thing he had seen in awhile. He then made the mistake of watching it again after taking his pills with a cup of coffee. Big mistake.

Hawk suddenly started acting like a few of the characters, notably one called Mentok-The Mind Taker. This character tended to make entrances accompanied by coloured smoke and dramatic music. He also tended to say things like "I, Mentok" or "Mentok commands you!"

Hawk went around the PIT ordering anyone within sight to do various things like "Go forth and bring me Krispy Krème Doughnuts! Mentok commands it!" or "I, Mentok command you to smite evil!"

It was worse for Lady Jay because she was acting as Hawk's aide at the time. The General kept calling her "Peanut" after a minor character on the show. Hawk was eventually restrained gently and put back to bed. The only consequences of this were that a lot of the Green Shirt recruits were intimidated enough by Hawk's manner and rank (an E-4 recruit can't exactly disobey a 3-Star General, no matter how oddly the General is acting) that there were over 25 large boxes of doughnuts in Hawk's office a few days later. He kept one box and had the rest sent down to the recreation room. Lady Jay (not to mention the rest of the command staff) thought she would need a sedative.

As a result Lady Jay would nearly kill anyone who called her "Peanut", her husband Flint included. And anyone who mentioned the incident to Hawk would find himself or herself cleaning latrines, sometimes with a potato. An act, which is physically impossible as most of the people in the room could attest to since Hawk, didn't discriminate between command staff and raw recruits on this subject.

"Ok since we are all in agreement then, this leads to a few questions: 1) how are we going to convince him. And 2) where can we suggest that Hawk goes to for his vacation?" Duke said.

As a few suggestions like Hawaii and Paris, or fishing trips were being floated around, there was a knock at the door. Duke, frowning because he had told the Green Shirt down the hall not to interrupt them unless Cobra attacked, went and opened the door. General Hawk was standing in the doorway. Everyone jumped out of their seats and stood at attention each with a "deer in headlights" look on his or her face.

"What in Sam Hill is going on in here?" Hawk growled. "The Green Shirt down the hall told me not to interrupt a Command Staff meeting unless there was an emergency! Last time I looked I was the Commanding Officer of the GI Joe team! What the hell are those! Travel brochures? Are you all planning a vacation together and wasn't planning to tell me? Well?"

A chorus of "No, no Sir! We can explain!" was the reply. Hawk pushed past Duke and sat down at the end of the table. He didn't invite the others to sit down. "I'm waiting!" he growled.

Duke cleared his throat nervously "Well sir, we, as in the whole team, have noticed that you have been under a lot of stress lately. What with the budget headaches and the Jugglers and everything else going on."

"Tell me about it." Hawk muttered. "Go on." He waved for the others to sit down again.

"We figured that you really need a holiday. Just to get away from this place for a few days. For your health." Duke said.

"Not to mention ours." Flint muttered. Lady Jay kicked him in the shin under the table.

Hawk sat there silently for several minutes. The others braced themselves for an explosion. Finally he said: "You're right. It's time for me to take a holiday." Everyone in the room exhaled and relaxed a bit.

Hawk picked up a few of the brochures and looked at them. "I haven't had a real vacation in years." He intoned wistfully. "A fishing trip or Paris sounds good. I think I have a few weeks leave accumulated. I'm sure you guys can be counted on not to destroy the PIT for, say, two weeks." Hawk smiled.

"Sir! Yes, Sir!" the rest of the Joes yelled in unison, all smiling in relief.

Hawk pulled out his wallet. In it was his Air Miles Platinum Card. "I'm sure I have enough of these to take most of the team to Australia. First Class" Everyone laughed. "I'm sure we can figure out where I can go on my holiday!"