Nicole and Carl walked up the hill as the sun dipped below the hills. Warm water trailed from her hair down her back and legs but in the remaining heat, it felt refreshing. Carl didn't stop talking all the way up the hill, telling her a story about something stupid Shane did before she made it back to go swimming with him. She smiled the entire way enjoying the time they got to spend together. He was growing up to look so much like his father it almost pained her to look at him. She missed her brother something fierce.
"Where were you?" Lori marched over to the two of them, an irritated expression on her face. Nicole sighed.
"We were swimming down in the lake." She tried to explain.
"Wasn't asking you Nicole, I wanted to know where my son was." Lori held her hand up.
"Carl, give me a minute with your ma, go get changed and get some food hu?" Nicole didn't look away from Lori. Lori's face showed a tiny bit of fear.
"Don't you tell my son what to do. Who do you think you are?" Lori spit out.
"Lori, I'm not fightin with you again tonight. We were swimmin, you're mad. Don't take it out on Carl when he didn't do anything in the first place." Nicole argued.
"You're not his mother. You're barely his aunt without Rick here. I don't have to let you see him, you're no good for him. Caleb told me all about . . ." Lori began before Nicole slapped her.
"My brother is dead and that is the only piece of him I still have. I dare you to take my nephew from me. I'm sorry you had to leave your fuck buddy behind so that your dumb ass could be spared. Next time, I won't make the same mistake." Nicole walked a short distance away before turning around. "And if you ever speak his name again, Carl really will be an orphan." Her words ended the argument effectively.
Daryl and Merle Dixon laughed at her as she walked toward them.
"Nice one sugar tits." Merle drawled at her before laughing harder. Daryl rolled his eyes.
"Yer hand ok?" He asked her seriously. She was the only one to get along with the two rednecks.
"Yeah, not that I would have cared if it shattered, as long as she would have been knocked on her ass." She answered him, showing him that her hand was fine. He handed her a plate of food as she plopped down next to him on the log.
"Don't damage her pretty face. She needs that to lead the deputy around by his balls." Merle joked, turning his squirrel around on the fire pit in front of them. Shane stepped over by the trio, a serious look on his face. "See what I mean?" Shane ignored the man.
"Take a ride to get water with me Nic?" he asked her. She sighed and handed Daryl her plate.
"Ya don't have ta talk ta the good ol deputy. Not like he can arrest ya." Merle's loud goofy guffaw echoed and other campers turned to watch the discussion. Nicole flipped Merle off and walked away with Shane.
"I ain't apologizing Shane." She hissed when they're pulling up to the stream in his Jeep.
When the car stopped, she jumped over the top of his door and grabbed a large bottle out of the back. She walked toward the water, unscrewing the cap before plunging it into the cool rushing water. She used her other hand to scoop some water and let it run over the back of her neck.
"Can't you just lay off her? She's still hurtin over Rick." He said, joining her with a bottle of his own. She gave him a look of disgust.
"You're fuckin kiddin me Shane. She was fuckin anything that looked her way twice. I wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't tried it with at least a few of the guys at camp." She didn't bother to hide the pure hatred in her voice. She noticed a slight blush creeping up the side of Shane's face and she sat back on the grass, tipping the bottle up for a moment.
"Please, don't lecture me. I'm not even listening to it right now. We just needed someone, we were both hurtin." He defended his confession.
"Hurtin'?" Through all the betrayal she felt, a small amount of jealousy played a part in her sudden queasy stomach. "Shane, she cheated on Rick all the time. He had to get a paternity test with his own son. Don't even get me started on what she did with Caleb. You know damn well the only thing that was hurting on her was her-" She started, jumping to her feet.
"HEY! Come on now. That's not fair and you know it. Caleb was in the past and that was an accident." He interrupted and tried to reason with her.
"Accident? You're just as much an idiot as Rick was. Does she have some magical hypnotic power between her legs that none of y'all can see how she really is?" She fought back angry tears and turned away from him, moving farther down the stream to finish gathering water.
He didn't follow her. He knew she needed a moment. They were family; he knew everything about her. Part of him admitted she was right, but she didn't know Lori like he did. Didn't know how sad she really was without her husband. She was lonely and she needed Shane, she loved him.
He finished filling his first bottle, quickly following suit with the second one. Nicole knelt to the water a short distance away. Her long brown hair fell over her shoulder like a curtain so he couldn't see the look on her face. She always trusted him, always told him the absolute truth. He hurt her deeply and it made him feel horrible instantly.
She hurt over her brother and wouldn't share that with anyone. He watched her turn cold, putting up a front so the group would think she was tough and strong. He knew she was, she always had been but she couldn't stand to let anyone see the real her.
1 week after the initial outbreak: Somewhere outside Atlanta in the middle of the night.
Traffic hadn't moved for 24 hours. Most people who were stranded in their vehicles now sat on top of the quiet cars. People stared down into the city as they listened to repeated emergency broadcasts promising safety and life. Nicole took a walk to a small hill next to the highway. Some people set up tents in the field. She leaned against the guardrail and stared out over the city. The lights made the sky glow an eerie gray aura of light. There was no moon and the stars were distant, barely visible.
Shane leaned next to her and handed her a bottle of water and a sweatshirt. She accepted both without a word. They stood there for some time.
"We gonna talk about it?" He finally broke the silence. She swore under her breath, hoping they didn't need to have this conversation.
"Nothin to talk about Shane." Her voice was emotionless.
"Don't give me that shit. You kissed me." He turned to face her.
"And you kissed me back." She went on the defensive before calming down. "I was stupid, lonely. I was thinking about all good times with Rick and you were in every one of them. It was the three of us, always. I guess I just wanted to feel close to you for a moment." She told him a half-truth that she hoped he believed. She never had been able to lie to Shane well. He usually saw right through her but this time he didn't argue. She figured it was because he wanted to pretend it never happened, and they did.
"You two gonna be ok out here? Just until we find shelter?" He asks.
"I'm gonna do the best I can. I'm here for nephew, I need to be." She explains, repeating herself from the time they discussed this at the hospital.
"I know that and you're doing an amazin job sweetheart, but you kinda sound like a broken record." He puts his arm around her.
"I couldn't save my brother Shane. We tried but I just wasn't strong enough or brave enough. I let him die. The least I can do is save my nephew, make sure that he knows without a doubt who his daddy was and how special he was." She lets the words rush out, knowing Shane won't judge her.
"Ahhhh Nic, you're not to blame for Rick. You dropped your whole life to sit by his side, day after day, you never left him until you knew you had to. He was gone, too far gone. We tried." He pulled her into a hug. Nicole looked over Shane's shoulder to see Lori, staring with a murderous look in her eyes. She had blamed Nicole. Nicole had let Rick die, left him there to rot.
Nicole had the nerve to tell her who could and couldn't travel with them. Who was that bitch to judge? Nicole wasn't innocent. Caleb had told her everything. Nicole didn't know what she dealt with being married to Rick. They fought and yelled at each other constantly.
She watched the way Nicole threw herself at Shane with disgust. The world was ending around them and here she was acting out her school girl crush. Lori hated the way Rick and Shane treated that woman. Nicole had always been rude and crass, not hiding her hatred for Lori.
Nicole could feel the anger radiating from Lori across the highway parking lot. She rolled her eyes and turned her back to the woman. Shane looked back toward the car and caught the expression on Lori's face.
"You two gotta stop hatin each other. It's not fair to Carl or me. We can't be in the middle of you the entire time." He tells her.
"I'm not who you should be talkin to. I'm perfectly content only thinking evil, deadly thoughts on the inside, until she forces me to scream them at her." Her sarcasm makes him groan a little.
"You're so fuckin stubborn." He growls at her before turning away. She feels sorry instantly, that woman brought out the worst in her. She tried to fake it but Lori just didn't let it go.
Present Day
The car ride back to camp was silent. He maneuvered the Jeep around the curves faster than he should of but Nicole didn't look worried. She focused on the trees blurring past them. Her eyes closed for a moment and she tilted her head back. He looked over at her occasionally, not sure what to say.
He watched her carefully, hating that he fought with her. The way her wind flew around her face, so free and wild; it fit her so perfectly. She didn't care how messy her hair was or if her hands had dirt on them. She was one of the few women at camp that didn't whine about eating another round of rabbit or squirrel and she didn't care if the water was ice cold or boiling hot, she just appreciated the chance to rinse off. The other women at the camp nagged about the source, temperature and amount of water available.
She was honest and ignored anyone's opinion of her. It was the only reason Merle and Daryl had taken to her, they saw a kindred spirit. Something about her attitude made her 1,000 times more beautiful than her naturally smooth skin, generous curves or vibrant blue eyes. He hoped that when she came back with him to King's County that day, she would wake her brother with the power of her anger. She would march into his room and berate him for sleeping in.
She tried. She argued and begged with Rick's lifeless body for weeks. Deals were made between her and the walls to bring him back to them. No tears fell until she thought she was alone. She needed to make sure Carl never saw her break. Shane begged her time and time again to let him be there for her but she scoffed at him, lowering her armor and putting on her sarcasm.
He watched her one night, through the door. She sat in a chair next to the bed and read to her brother. She read him the Wizard of Oz books. Shane and Rick had bought those for her when she was a kid. She loved everything about the story. She forced them watch it every Christmas together as far back as he could remember. It became their annual tradition, even through college. She annoyed them until they would cave and watch it with her. Then they made fun of her for crying at the end when Dorothy clicks her heels.
She finished reading the part she was on and closed the book, laying it on a table next to her. Grabbing Rick's hand, she lowered her head and he watched her shoulders start to shake, her body wracked with sobs. He let her have her moment, turning away and taking a seat in the waiting room. Something about her changed that day. He couldn't figure it out.
He watched her the same way now, like he was seeing her for the first time. She grew up in front of him and today was the first day he really noticed it. He always found her eyes to be interesting but today for some reason; they held his breath for him. Her chestnut hair looked soft and inviting. He wanted to bury his face in it. He turned his eyes back to the road, sudden anxiety building up in his chest.
Rick would kill him if he were here. Shane shook his head, blaming his moment of insanity on the still stifling air around them. He didn't turn to look at her again, even when they pulled into camp.
