Yes, indeed, things begin to grow disturbing in this chapter. That's why I must warn you, I'm going to be getting into a lot of graphic details in this story. Things are going to get even worse in the next chapter. While the only sickening part of this chapter is the end, you may not find it so bad...but it will get worse. Heh, I'm so weird. A preppy girl with a gothic writing style.
Anyway, I apologize for the delay, but I've been really busy. I mean, hey, it's summer vacation!
I also want to thank everyone who reviewed, and I'd like to see some more for this chapter!
Heh...now, enjoy chapter 2 at your own risk.
Did you read the above? If you have, go on and read the actual chapter.
Chapter 2 -- Hate and Love, the Twin Troubles
Wendy's farm work generally started around 5 A.M., and ended at about 6 P.M. It was a long day, but working so close to nature, Wendy felt it was fruitful. Ever since she had been a little girl, it had seemed to her that farming was the most wonderful thing in existance. She had no complaints about the lifestyle she had chosen, and that was part of what made her a good farmer.
It was the day after she and Kurt had spent most of the night together. Wendy hadn't seen Kurt at all during the day, and figured he was busy. It was wonderful having him around, and Wendy cherished every moment with Kurt...and yet, she was doubtful that she was feeling true love. Perhaps the relationship just wasn't at that point yet?
Wendy finally finished her work for the day, and felt pleased with all she had done. She went into the house to rest, feeling contented...and found herself thinking about Joe. When she had gone to Joe's and Kurt's place the other day, she realized that Kurt had made no exaggerations when he had told her that his older brother was "out of it".
Poor Joe... It's scary to see him like that. He's usually so upbeat, she thought.
And it was so very strange how it seemed that her presence upset him terribly. Was Wendy the cause of Joe's unhappiness? She sure hoped not... What could she have done, anyway? But for some reason, Joe's pain was causing her more pain than it should.
Why does my heart ache? thought Wendy as she sat down on the couch, letting down her brown hair and taking off her pink vest. She looked down at the white, dirt-stained camisol that she had had on under the vest.
"White...dumb choice of color for a farmer. I'll probably never get the stains out now..." she grumbled to herself. "But whatever..."
Wendy flipped off her shoes and chucked them near the door, setting her feet on the coffee table while debating over whether or not she should delve deeper into her thoughts on the matter with Joe. She closed her eyes and pictured him with his usual smiling, cheerful face...he was quite handsome, in her opinion. But she was so worried about him, he was a dear friend. Her heart ached in that strange way when she thought this. And then another thought hit her, sending the truth her way... Wendy shook her head quickly, standing up.
No...I'm getting a feeling of what things are hinting at. Dammit, Wendy...! Stop thinking like you're not in a relationship. You should love Kurt. You shouldn't even be giving Joe a second glance in that way!
The young farmer went to get dressed into her more comfortable nightclothes, trying to keep her mind blank as to avoid the guilt of thinking romantically towards her boyfriend's brother. But that didn't work, so she decided to try and focus on how things were going with Eve and Ray... Their date should have already started.
As Wendy did her laundry, ate dinner, and did her nightly house cleaning, she was made uncomfortable by the thoughts she attempted to bury.
Have I thought of Joe in a way like this all along, but have been too stupid to realize it? she asked herself.
There came a knock at the door. Wendy glanced at the clock, which read 8:43. Who would be here at this time? Opening the door, Wendy drew her breath in quickly -- it was Joe.
Regaining her wits, she pulled on a smile and said, "Joe...how are you? Er...is something the matter?"
Joe hid a long, sad look behind a forced smile. It sure didn't hide a lot, and Joe must've known that too, for he turned his eyes to the ground embarassedly and shuffled his feet.
"Uh...I kinda wanted to talk to you..." he said slowly.
Wendy's curiousity was piqued. Would he open up to her on the subject of his problem? But her own problem stuck in her mind, and she felt her cheeks turn hot over it.
"Well, don't stand out in the cold. Come in," said Wendy, stepping out of the way. Joe went in, and she closed the door behind him. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, and finally blurted out, "Erm...Wendy...I...got kind of a crisis...on my hands..."
"Crisis? Well, you know you can talk to me...please, sit down." They both took a seat at the kitchen table.
Wendy studied Joe's face...it looked pale, drawn, and most of all, very pained. Never before had Joe worn a face like that...
He could only squeak out a tiny, faltering "Wendy", and went silent again.
"Joe, if you have a serious problem, you need to tell someone about it... Please, talk to me. And if you can't talk to me, talk to Kurt, Woody, somebody, anybody! This sounds really serious, and I want to know what I can do to help you," said Wendy softly.
Joe's brown eyes went blank as he gazed at her. His cheeks flushed, and unconciously, so did Wendy's. Then he suddenly stood up, slammed a fist down hard on the table, and turned around so he wouldn't face Wendy.
"Dammit...! I'm such a fool for coming here... I...I can't talk to you about this!" He made a break for the door. Hurt and shocked, Wendy pursued him and grabbed his arm.
"Joe, what in the name of hell is going on?" she demanded.
Joe let out a heavy breath and glanced over his shoulder at Wendy. Quietly he said, "Wendy, I...I'm not blaming you for anything...s-sorry if it sounded like I was... But really, you're the last person I can talk to about this." Shrugging her hand away, Joe left.
"Joe..." Wendy called after him. He just walked on.
Sighing, the young, defeated farmer shut the door, leaning against it to rest a small hand on her fast-beating heart.
Oh, shit, what have I done to upset him? I'm certain this has something to do with me... But what?
Wendy went to bed but couldn't sleep. Her old worries of her feelings for Joe were replaced by more urgent anxieties about HIS feelings.
What the hell was going on?
Side by side they walked, Eve and Ray. A beautiful full moon shone overhead, with glittering stars like dewdrops sprayed across the sky.
How good it feels just to be so close to Ray... Eve thought, a smile creeping onto her delicate features. Then she heard Ray chuckle, and her eyes snapped up to look at him.
"What's so funny?" she asked, still smiling.
"Oh...that smile of yours was just...well...cute," said Ray. Eve blushed.
He went on, "Eve, I'm...I'm really happy being here with you..."
"I feel the same." Gently, Eve reached out and took Ray's hand in her own. She was happy that he didn't reject the move. He even squeezed her hand.
Ray glanced at her with those handsome blue eyes of his and looked up at the heavens. "Sure is a gorgeous night, huh?"
"Yes..."
It was breathtaking to Eve how the presence of someone special could be enough to satisfy the need for contentment and dull the senses. Ray was like no other man she had ever met. But love at first sight was certainly a crazy myth...wasn't it?
Eve and Ray walked on the beach for a while longer before deciding to picnic. Under the stars, they set up the evening meal. As they ate, they talked about their lives.
Ray said he was born and raised in a village far from Flowerbud. He claimed that it had been a peaceful place, and that it had been inspiring. That village was the reason he decided to take up fishing. Ray told Eve that he had been fishing since he was six years old, and had always had quite the knack for it. His father and brothers had fished, so he had always been exposed to the sport. It didn't take long for it to become his obsession, his passion -- and he knew that he had to make a living off of doing it. Ray became a pro-fisherman, and even had his own fishing show, low-budgeted it may be. But it did get a reasonably fair number of viewers.
Eve fretted that her life story was too bland. What was there to say, really? She had grown up in a city of sin. She moved to Flowerbud to help her Uncle Duke with the Moonlight Cafe, and to watch over her beloved grandfather Terry, who was the mountain ranger of Flowerbud Village. Eve, however, did not approve of such a lifestyle for an aging man. Eve also told Ray about Wendy and her other new friends. How good it was to be in a place where beauty didn't bring on jealousy and hate...
After telling Ray about her life, she glanced at him anxiously to see if she had or hadn't lulled him to sleep. But there he sat crouched, his chin on his fist, smiling at her. She smiled back -- so he had listened...
"Sorry if that was boring," she chuckled.
"Not at all. I always wondered what your past was like," said Ray.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'd like to get to know you more, Eve..." Ray blushed and suddenly became very bashful. He forced himself on with his request. "I'd like to...go on another date with you, Eve. I-if you're not too busy..."
Eve's heart fluttered. She had wanted to badly to hear those words!
"I'd love to," she answered quickly, smiling as charmingly as she could. Ray beamed back. And then he did a surprising yet beautiful thing: the young fisherman leaned forward and kissed Eve, right on the lips. And at that very moment, it was as if time stood still.
When it was over, he pulled away quickly, blinking furiously as though he hadn't meant to do it.
"I-I'm sorry... I probably came on too strong, huh?"
Eve shook her head and said quickly, "No, no! Not at all..."
Ray was blushing, and Eve was sure she was too. But it sure did feel right.
"Hello, Uncle Duke!" Eve sauntered into the Moonlight Cafe, her date with Ray finished. Duke looked up to gaze at her in mild surprise.
"Well, don't you look happy?" he said.
And of course, all the male customers looked up to gaze at Eve. Normally, she would merely tolerate it, but today, she didn't even notice it. She headed for the house section of the building -- it was accessible through a door behind the counter. Eve wanted to be alone to think about her wonderful evening. But before she could reach the door, someone grabbed her rear. Surprised, Eve turned to see a young man with long black hair, dark skin, and handsome navy blue eyes grinning up at her. She sighed...it was Dan, the boy who worked at Paradise Orchard. Such behavior came as no surprise, and it wasn't the first time he had grabbed her. She could have slapped him, but restrained from doing so on Duke's orders to always respect the customer.
"That's rude, Dan," said Eve coldly, staring him down.
Dan grinned wider as he replied, "Sorry...my hands have a mind of their own. I couldn't help myself, my beautiful belle."
Snorting shrewdly, Eve made her way through the door. She wasn't about to let a sleezeball like Dan ruin her good mood.
Eve made a beeline for her bedroom, and once there, she flopped down on the bed in a feeling of bliss. There was just something special about that date. All the other ones she had had with other men paled so much in comparison that she hardly remembered them.
Oh, I HAVE to tell Wendy! Eve thought, hastily picking up the phone next to her bed. It was getting late, but Eve paid no mind to that as she dialed.
Ringing, ringing, more ringing...but never an answer. Perhaps she was with Kurt? With a sigh, Eve put the phone back on its receiver. She'd call again tomorrow...there was a lot more to tell.
The early morning sun glared through Blue's bedroom window. To Blue, sunshine and his strict internal clock were the only things needed to wake him up, not to mention he always woke up with full energy. In just ten minutes, he was out of bed, dressed, washed up, and ready to go to work. But first, of course, there was breakfast. He swallowed at the thought that Ellen was most likely there, and he didn't like having to face her.
However, when he got downstairs, Blue found a letter that told him he'd be alone. Hank had gone off to help Terry with something, and Ellen had shopping to do in town. Relieved, Blue ate the meal that Ellen had saved for him, and after that, he eagerly went to work.
It was as if time was on highspeed whenever Blue worked. Farming was what he loved, what he knew about, something he was actually good at. He had never felt he was smart at anything else, having always had poor grades growing up. And he never had many friends that weren't furry and four-legged. Blue hated dishonest people also, and farming was about the most honest way of life he could think of. Though he was thinking of himself as less and less of an honest, good person lately...
Blue worked on for a few hours. He was tilling soil when a voice said, "Hey! You!" Alarmed, he spun around to face the speaker. Blue eyes glared into his, and Blue found himself facing a young woman, her red hair pulled into a ponytail. It was Ann...
"What do you want? I never want to see you again!" Blue spat. He wondered, had she come to beg for him back? But the expression on her face didn't agree with that idea.
"I thought I deserved an apology for the other day," said Ann, with all the ice in the world put into that one sentence.
"Well, you don't."
"Shouldn't I AT LEAST get an apology for you slugging me!"
Blue grunted, saying nothing. He had always considered it wrong to hit a girl, and yet, he had gotten carried away during the fight with Ann.
Ann leaned closer to him, her light blue eyes burning fiercely.
"You listen to me, Blue!" she hissed. "You're quite lucky I didn't tell anyone what you did to me! But I will, if you push me to it! And hitting a girl would look mighty poor on a record, don'tcha think?"
Blue swallowed. She was right. What if it would be taken to court?
"I'm sorry," he said slowly, eyeing her calculatingly.
"Good. And always remember what I have against you. Don't you ever try to pull anything on me." Ann left.
What kind of monster am I turning into? How could I have taken a swing at a girl...? Blue thought. He shook his head furiously, trying to rid his mind of his self-berating so he could focus on his job. For Blue, the cure to guilt was putting your heart and soul into what you loved.
Not a lot of time passed before Ellen returned, frantic with news that Blue would never, ever forget.
Upon her arrival at Blue Sky Ranch, Ellen jumped the fence and raced across the fields, screaming Blue's name, searching for him panickedly. Startled by the wild desperation in her voice, Blue forgot his nervousness around her and came running. Ellen saw him and flung herself into Blue's arms, hysterical.
"Ellen! Ellen, what in hell's name is going on?"
Tears flowed down the farmgirl's cheeks as she tried to form the words nessecary to make Blue understand, but she just couldn't make a coherent sentence. Blue grabbed her arms and held her out at arms-length, staring at her face. He was so confused.
"Ellen, what happened? What's wrong!"
Ellen's body shook as she sobbed, "D...dad..."
"What? Hank? What happened to him?"
"A-an accident...M-Mt. Moon..."
"Something happened to Hank on Mt. Moon!"
Ellen stared at Blue, her brown eyes wide. After a while, she nodded. And that was all Blue needed to know before he went dashing to the mountain.
Kurt was on his way to Wendy's house when he spotted Joe, also leaving the shop. Curious, he called his brother's name and headed for him. Joe looked up from the grass to gaze at Kurt.
"Joe, where are you off to?" Kurt asked.
Joe kicked at the dirt and shrugged. He replied, "Just going for a walk..."
Kurt sighed. Joe still looked depressed.
"Joe..." he started, but Joe was already walking away. Kurt stopped himself from chasing after him, and forced himself on to Wendy's.
It was a short walk, and he saw her immediately. She was asleep under a tree, most likely taking a break. Kurt walked over to Wendy and gently shook her.
"Wendy...Wendy, wake up."
"H-huh?" Yawning, the farmer opened her brown eyes and looked up at Kurt. She smiled sleepily.
"Kurt...I was wondering when you'd stop by." They kissed.
Kurt studied her face. She really did look tired, so he asked about it.
"I didn't sleep well last night..." Wendy replied, looking uneasy.
Kurt lightly touched her shoulder, looking at her intently.
"You look troubled, Wendy... What's the matter?"
"Joe showed up last night..."
"What? Did he tell you anything?" Kurt asked.
Wendy hesitated. "He...looked like he was about to... But then he said that I was the last person he should tell...but that that wasn't my fault..." She took a deep breath and looked Kurt straight in the eye. "Kurt, we need to find out what's wrong with Joe. Something bad is happening to him, I know it."
Kurt hugged Wendy and said heavily, "I know, I'm worried too. I'll try to find out more about it."
"Me too."
Kurt returned home after spending an hour at Wendy's house. The moment he got home, Woody called him over and handed him a letter.
"This came for you in the mail," he said.
"From who?" Kurt asked, taking the letter and staring at it curiously.
Woddy shrugged and replied, "Beats me. Doesen't have an address on it. Seems that someone must've come by and hand delivered it."
Kurt headed up to his room to read the letter. How strange...he never got mail. Once he sat down on his bed, Kurt ripped open the envelope and looked at its contents. It was a poem:
From afar, from afar
And always apart
But always there
Yet always not
Watching you
And waiting
When will it be my turn, too?
Kurt shuddered. What an eerie poem... He scanned the paper and the envelope for a clue as to who the writer was, but there was nothing. He read it over one more time, then shook his head and stuck it in his dresser drawer. Why would someone send something like that? And who?
Joe plodded on through the village on his walk with no true destination. He just had to get away, get some fresh air. It helped a little bit. Joe figured that he should do it more often, it was soothing.
People on the street happily greeted Joe when they saw him, smiling and saying things like "Oh, it's been so long!" and "Where have you been, Joe?" Joe's excuse? He was busy.
Joe walked on and on until he reached the point where it actually tired him. He leaned against a nearby fence to rest. Finally...his mind was clearing, and his sadness was lifting slightly. At least until he again thought of his actions the night before...
It was almost as if another force had pulled him to Wendy's house last night. He hardly realized what he was doing until he was at her doorstep, and even then, he felt like he was going to explode with the need to confess his conflicting emotions. He cringed just thinking about how he had even knocked on the door, even been invited inside. And the worst part of it was that he had actually begun to speak of the issue, but was thankful that he had somehow stopped himself. Sadly, in the process, he saw that he had badly hurt Wendy's feelings. He felt as if he should be pushing her way, and yet, and yet...he didn't want to. In his heart, that was the last thing in the world he wanted.
Guilty, guilty, guilty -- that's what he felt. Why, of all the women in the world, why Wendy, his brother's first love? He wanted her so bad, but it was a love he could not pursue. Family was so important to Joe, and he didn't want to risk losing his brother to his own desires. Wasn't that to be considered selfish? He had to wonder, was there a woman out there just for him?
Joe shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He was getting a headache from his own distress, and he knew that all the stress was bad for him. After his mind was cleared again, Joe looked around at his surroundings. He was leaning on the fence marking the territory of Jamie's ranch. He was right in front of it, and gazed around at the pathetic ruin that had once been a thriving ranch.
"Kinda looks how my mind would, don't it?" he muttered to himself with a bitter chuckle. Then he felt guilty for making a joke about the place. He didn't know what the ranch's owner was going through...but it had to be something bad for the ranch to look as it did. And no one had even seen Jamie lately. Joe hardly remembered what she looked like.
His eyes scanned the cracked, broken fields. Not a sign of life...until his eyes fell upon a disturbance in the tall, dry grass. There was something laying there, but what? Joe squinted his eyes to try to be able to make out the shape better -- and his heart nearly stopped.
Oh, god...is that...is that a person!
Joe hopped the fence and approached the shape. He stopped. It really WAS a person...
"Oh...oh lord...a-are they dead!" With his heart pounding, Joe got on his hands and knees, crawled the last few inches to the sprawled figure, and stared. Luckily, he could see even breathing...so the person was alive. Yet, he could not see the face, for whoever it was was lying sprawled on their stomach. The person was dressed in an oversized poncho striped in various dark, purple-like colors, and wore a purple bandana around their neck. Shineless lavender hair assisted in masking an identity. Slowly, nervously, Joe flipped the person on their side, and saw that it was a girl. He remembered her now...this was Jamie. Joe frantically checked her over, and discovered that yes, she was still breathing, and also had a heartbeat. Yet no matter how he moved her, she remained unconcious.
Lights of panic flashed in his mind. What would he do with her? Did she have injuries that he couldn't see, and best not be moved? But it was so hot outside, and she was dressed a little too warmly for the weather...so it wouldn't be so good to leave her there in the heat. Joe decided on doing the latter, so he hoisted Jamie into his arms, and was taken by surprise on how light she was. He stared down at her face.
Now that you mention it, she really doesen't look so good... he thought with a frown as he quickly carried her off.
Panting, Joe burst into the doctor's office.
Loudly, he said, "Hey, hey! I need someone right now!"
A chubby, elderly woman bustled into the room, called by the desperation in Joe's voice. Her arrival was in such haste and quickness that it nearly caused her small glasses to tumble from her plump nose. The woman was Martha, the midwife of Flowerbud Village. She also assisted the doctor on many other tasks, and of course, was the one who did the chores and laundry, as she and the doctor lived together. That doctor definately needed Martha around, for although he was responsible, he was a sloppy man through and through in everything that did not involve medical science.
"Joe! What is it, dear, what's the matter?" Martha cried, hurrying to where Joe stood with Jamie in his arms.
Joe took a moment to catch his breath before replying, "Jamie...I, I found her fainted in her fields..."
Martha peered at the unconcious girl, brushing a strand of her coarse lavender hair from her face to get a better look. Joe studied the elder, who wore such a look of concentration on her face that he felt he just had to know what was running through her mind. But before he could even make an official guess, Martha snapped up straight and said, "I'll go get the doctor immediately. I believe he is out back looking for herbs." She bustled out of the room again.
Joe shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feeling awkward. Jamie's head flopped over to rest on Joe's well-muscled chest.
"After all this, how can she stay unconcious...?" Joe murmured to himself. Ever compassionate, the carpenter's apprentice was very concerned for the well-being of the misanthrope farmgirl. He wondered what was wrong with her. When he saw her, she obviously wasn't just napping, as being sprawled out in the middle of a field didn't exactly seem like a natural place to doze.
Joe became startled as the door of the waiting room opened quickly and loudly as the tall, dark-haired Dr. Alex strode in, brows knitted in concern. At his heels was Martha, who looked about the size of a lawn gnome compared to the height of the handsome doctor, who was like a son to her.
Alex went over to Joe and bent forward to silently study Jamie before he removed her from Joe's arms without the slightest hesitation.
"Again...?" he muttered to himself, but Joe heard.
"Again? What do you mean? Has this happened before?" asked Joe.
Alex looked up at him with his deep, dark eyes and nodded.
"Yes," he replied slowly with a heavy sigh, "This would be the second time this week that someone has discovered Jamie in a faint. The first time was on sunday, and I myself saw her fall and brought her back here. When she awoke, I wanted to see if I could find out the cause of it, but she refused to let me anywhere near her and left. But something is obviously more wrong than I originally thought, since it happened twice in a single week... When she wakes up, I'm going to perform an examination whether she likes it or not." Alex strode down a hall to his right and disappeared behind a door.
"Joe, dear," said Martha as she picked some lint from Joe's shirt in a mothering fashion, "Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. You can leave now, hon." Joe smiled weakly and sat down in one of the waiting room chairs.
"No...I'd like to stay, just to make sure she's alright," he replied. Martha gave him a look of admiration at that.
"What a kind boy you are, Joe... Always have been. We'll let you know how Jamie is as soon as we can, alright? Now, is there anything I can get for you in the meantime?"
"No thanks, ma'am, I'm alright."
Martha left the room, and Joe was left to himself. He sighed and rested his chin on his fists. At least he forgot about his own problems while caught up in that ordeal... He'd put his energy into this matter as long as he could before going back to pondering his issues about Wendy.
Joe waited for a time that felt so long, yet in actuality, it was but a mere 15 minutes. Alex entered the room, and Joe looked up at him.
"Ah, Joe...I forgot to thank you earlier for bringing her in," said Alex.
Joe stood up and scratched the back of his head, replying, "'S ok... Anyway, did you figure out what's wrong with her?"
A deep frown creased Alex's handsome face. "I can only determine some things. Since she's unconcious, I need to wait for her to wake up and cooperate with me before I can run a full examination. All I know is that she's running a fever, seems to be exhausted, and definately looks like she's lost a lot of weight. It would seem that she's been harboring a lot of health issues, because the damage seems like it's been rather long-term."
"Is she awake yet?"
"No, not yet, but I believe she should be coming around soon. You can still go see her now, if you'd like. It's down the hall to your right, in the second door, also to your right."
"Thanks, doctor." Joe followed the directions and soon found himself in the designated room. There lay Jamie in the bed pushed up against the wall. A chair stood next to it, so Joe seated himself again.
It was as if Joe had sat on some kind of switch, for the moment he touched the chair, Jamie's catty, ice blue eyes slowly opened. With breath bated from surprise, Joe watched her come around. She didn't seem to really see anything at first, and looked blank. But then her eyes focused into a look of shock, then into recognition and anger.
"What the hell am I doing here!" she snapped, staring at the ceiling. It was obvious that she still hadn't noticed Joe, and that that comment was spoken mostly to herself.
Jamie looked small and ill to Joe, but regardless, he couldn't help but be just a little bit intimidated by her sharp manner.
"Uh, well...I found you unconcious in your fields...I brought you here..." Joe answered her loud question in soft tones. It was then that Jamie finally noticed Joe. She looked very startled at the voice of another, but she quickly recovered from that and turned to look at Joe.
"Unconcious? What do you know, you jerk... I was dozing. Haven't you ever heard of sleeping!"
"Haven't you ever heard of fainting?" inquired a cool voice. Joe looked to see Alex standing in the doorway. He went over to the bed. Joe caught Jamie eyeing him with all the hate and resentment in the world.
Alex went on, "It's called 'fainting', Jamie. Surely, you have heard the term. And generally, when someone collapses, which you did, it signifies that something is wrong with the body. And Jamie, where you like it or not, we are going through with that examination this time around. This has been the second time this week this has happened, I'm sure you well know."
Jamie snorted, rolled her eyes, and looked away.
"Jamie..." sighed Alex. He turned to Joe and said, "Thank you again... But I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Joe stood up eagerly, not really appreciating Jamie's attitude.
"Ok... See you, doctor."
Joe left the clinic and emerged into the hot, fresh air. Only then did it hit him that he had been gone for a long time...
"Oh, man, Woody's gonna kill me!"
His arms folded across his chest, Joe leaned into the warm wind and pressed on, taking an accurate route to his house, yet not really seeing. He was in a daze, the day's events replaying in his mind.
Jamie...jeez...how can anyone be so cold? I wonder what's going on with her...
How can anyone be so patronizing! Jamie thought angrily, shaking her head as Dr. Alex went on and on to Jamie about how she shouldn't hide problems. She wished she could just disappear, or that he would disappear, for Alex was driving her mad. She had to cut him off, so that's what she did.
"Ok, you know what your problem is, doc! You're a condescending bastard. Maybe if you stopped treating your patients like children, then they'd come to you with their problems more willingly." Jamie glared hard at him, trying to phase him, but he was always so unwavering, it seemed. This time was no different. Jamie's last brief stay in the clinic was so far very much like this one.
"I only treat people like children when they act like children," Alex replied. Jamie found herself extremely angry at that comment... He had no right to say something like that!
"Whatever. I'm not gonna stick around here while you annoy the fuck out of me. Trust me, you won't see me around here again." Kicking off the covers, Jamie stood up, but was overcome with a wave of dizziness. Her footing and balance faltered, and in seconds she found herself supported in the arms of Alex. Jamie waited for the feeling to subside before she again came to her senses and realized that Alex had a hold on her. It was like losing a battle to Jamie, letting him see her weakened... She scowled and pushed him away.
"Don't touch me," she snapped.
"That proves that you are having health issues, Jamie. You just nearly passed out again," Alex scolded.
"I did not 'nearly pass out again', as you say. And there's nothing wrong with me." Jamie made another attempt to leave, but Alex caught hold of her arm.
"Hey, let me go!"
"Jamie, as soon as we get the examination over with, you can leave."
Jamie struggled to get away, but her weakened body didn't allow much of it for long. She could only use her words.
"You can't make me do anything. Just let me out of here and you won't ever see me again, I promise you that!" she snarled defensively, but none of that loosened Alex's grip. In fact, it even tightened with his increasing annoyance.
"Jamie, you're acting like a bratty child again! An examination won't hurt or anything," Alex replied with impatience.
"I'm not afraid of pain! I deserve it!"
Alex's hold on her loosened at the words, and Jamie tried to get away again. But he regripped her arm, and grabbed the other one as well.
"Jamie, why would you say that you deserve pain?" he asked softly, the worry in his voice evident.
"Nothing in my life is any of your business. Let's just pretend I never said anything and that nothing happened... Why can't we just do that? This incident doesen't matter. I'm fine now."
"No, you're not. There's something bad and hidden about the things you say. You have zero strength, you have a fever, you look tired and far too thin for someone of your height. I'm a doctor, and it's my job to help those who are ailing. If you let me do the examination, you can go home if things aren't extremely bad. Alright?"
Jamie sighed and sagged on her feet defeatedly, knowing she had lost. Fighting with the doctor was just using up what little strength she had, and already, Jamie wanted to just lie down again. Yet Jamie was never one to openly reveal a weakness.
"Fine," she told Alex bitterly, "Go ahead. Examine me. After that, I'm gettin' the fuck out of here."
Alex went through with the thorough examination he had planned, and everything he recorded put a concerned frown to his face. He weighed her, checked her heart rate, checked her temperature; he checked just about everything he could, much to Jamie's annoyance, and almost everything seemed to concern him.
When it was over, he said, wearing his signature frown, "Jamie, you're worse off then I thought you were. You --"
"I don't wanna know what's wrong with me, because I don't give a damn!" Jamie interrupted.
Alex sighed and ran a hand through his thick, messy black hair. "Very well... I won't tell you all the details, but we are going to have to discuss a few things, like why you're not eating and not sleeping well."
"Didn't I already tell you? The things in my life don't concern you! Ask me whatever you want. I will pick which questions I will answer, and which ones I won't."
"Fine. But can't you at least tell me what you've been doing to yourself?"
"Farming."
"Somehow, I don't think that's a valid, fully honest answer."
"Well, buddy, it's the only answer you've got." Jamie got up and left. This time around, Alex didn't stop her, and the ailing farmer was glad for that.
Jamie felt infuriated with herself on her way home, vowing to try to get better at hiding things so no one would see her if she collapsed, and take her back to that damned clinic. Her resentment towards herself grew.
The second time this week... Dammit, I'm so fucking stupid! I can't do anything right!
When she entered her house, Jamie had made a decision to punish herself in a way she thought suitable. Reaching into the knife drawer in her kitchen, she took out a blade and drew it across the skin on her left arm.
