Time Passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

-Stephenie Meyer New Moon Chapter 4.

Bpov

Charlie and I had it out today, He threatened to send me to live with Mom, I refused, and promised to make more of an effort. I do not know what I am going to do, if the pain will ever get better, or if I am forever damned to live this shell of a life.

I have had a lot of time for introspection, and I think what I am most upset about is how completely and utterly deluded I was to think what Edward and I had was true love. He was controlling, manipulative, and always downplayed what I wanted, never considering my opinion, as if I was just a stupid little girl, which I suppose I was in a lot of ways. Now, I just miss them all. I have forgiven Edward, it really was for the best, but I just really miss my best friend. She was always there for me, my one true ally against the Rosalie's disdain, Edward's arrogance...

I can almost remember what she smelled like, I can smell her she always smelled to me like fresh baked sugar cookies coming out of the oven...

"bella?" As I walked into my room to get ready for bed I am hearing her voice calling to me...

giggle "BELLA!"

GARGH! I jumped back "Alice?" I am stunned, If I am having a vision, I hope it lasts, it looks so real...

"No Bella, I am not a vision, besides when did you start having visions?" Alice snarked.

"ALICE!" I run to her and throw my arms around her to tackle her to the floor, but I forgot how hard she was and BOOM! Well that hurt but I held on, I immediately start babbling and crying.

"OH, ALICE I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, HOW LONG ARE YOU VISITING FOR , WHERE'S JASPER, YOU KNOW I AM NOT MAD AT HIM RIGHT, I FORGIVE HIM RIGHT? IS EVERYONE IN TOWN, HOWS CARLISLE AND ESME? WHERE DID YOU GO, WHY ARE YOU BACK, OH THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SEE ME I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"Bella! Slow down and quiet down a little, vampire hearing remember?"

"Oh sorry Alice..." I replied in a softer tone, trying to contain the unbridled joy at seeing my Alice again.

"Well, if you let me go we can go sit down, and I will answer your 7 and a half questions..." Alice sighed.

I dropped my arms from around her shoulders, but slid one hand down her arm to her hand dragging her over to my bed so we could sit down and talk. I was afraid to let go of her completely, afraid that if I did this dream would shatter, or she would leave me again. But Alice didn't resist, and followed me over to the bed and sat down beside me.

"OK, well in the order you asked them, Jasper is in Alaska, I know you are not mad at him, and have forgiven him, and so does he, but he still is having trouble forgiving himself. I came alone, Carlisle and Esme are fine, Esme knows I am here, and sends her love, We kinda all went our separate ways, Carlisle and Esme set up home in Maine, Rosalie and Emmett went to do some traveling and will be Joining Carlisle and Esme there, Edward is somewhere in South America feeling sorry for himself like the self-centered jerk that he is, and Jasper and I split up."