Chapter 1
His eyelids flickered as his mind drifted back to consciousness. His eyes flew open and he blinked, his brows furrowed as he peered in confusion at his surroundings. He wondered what he was doing lying on the floor in the dungeon corridor, having not resided there since his appointment as Head Master. With a grimace, Severus picked himself up off the cold stone floor, gathering his robes around him to keep out the chill. He wondered why it was so dimly lit. he could scarcely see through the gloom.
His thoughts were hazy, he couldn't remember ever coming down here. Had he imbibed that much fire whiskey last night? Why would he get drunk and end up in the dungeon? It wasn't like he and Slughorn were friends. He laughed bitterly. Friends. The only members of staff who didn't hate his guts and consider him a traitor were the Carrows – and the sadistic siblings weren't exactly his first choice of drinking partner. Had he been abducted in his sleep? Was this some trick of the Dark Lord? These and other thoughts swam round in his mind. There was something else – fragments of a dream – no! More like a nightmare, hovered on the periphery of his mind.
He glanced around the corridor, but it was empty. His eyes darted from side to side as he crept down the dark hallway. His hand strayed to his wand pocket as he did so. He reached the entrance to the stairwell only to discover that it was guarded by a black, wrought iron gate. He cast a silent alohamora. Nothing happened, he tried again, louder this time, hissing in frustration as his efforts were in vain. He cast several non-verbal charms – to no avail. Finally, he resorted to reaching out and grabbing the bars, rattling the gate as he did so.
"I'm sorry Severus that way isn't open to you – not yet, anyway."
The Head Teacher's dark eyes grew wide as he recognised the voice. He whirled around in one fluid movement and stared in shock at his former mentor.
"Albus! But you're…dead, I killed you." He turned a full circle, eyeing his surroundings. "What's going on?"
The old man closed the distance between them and his blue eyes met Severus' confused gaze. "You don't remember what happened?"
"No! I…" A brief flash of memory as disjointed images flowed through his mind – red eyes boring into his, a hiss followed by terrible pain, then emerald green – Lily's eyes, no, not her – Harry Potter. Harry Potter was here in the castle. "Not really." His eyes narrowed in confusion then realisation hit him like the Hogwarts Express and gasped in shock. "Does this mean…? Am I to assume that I died Albus?"
"Lumos," The older wizard spelled softly. Instantly the corridor was filled with the soft glow of candlelight. "Ah, that's better." The old man placed his hand on Severus' arm. His eyes filled with sympathy as he gazed at the younger man. "I had not foreseen this happening Severus…"
The younger man pocketed his wand. "Oh! Save your pity for the Chosen One, Albus!" He snapped. "I did what I could to protect him, but in the end, I failed." He sighed, throwing his palms open in frustration as he shrugged. I could not fulfill your final request that I tell him he must die in order to destroy the Dark Lord."
"But you did just that, Severus. As you lay dying, Harry Potter found you and you gave him your memories. He took them to my pensieve. Everything has come to pass, exactly how the prophecy foretold."
"What? Then…" The younger man's jaw became slack as he considered the implications. "The boy is dead?"
"No, no, Severus. Harry Potter is very much alive, I assure you – thanks to you, I might add. Voldemort has been defeated. There were many casualties…"
Severus gasped as everything came flooding back to him in a flash.
He had known that his life was forfeit the moment that Dumbledore had insisted he resume his role as a Death Eater. In quiet acquiescence, Severus Snape had taken up his place at the Dark Lord's side. His skills in Occlumency had been enough to maintain his subterfuge, shielding his inner thoughts and activities as a spy for Dumblefore and the Order of the Phoenix. Severus had maintained the dual role right up until Dumbledore's death – for which he was responsible. Severus had been the only person alive who knew the truth – that the old man had been dying as the result of a cursed ring and he had ordered Severus to kill him, not only to spare him from an agonising and prolonged death, but also to save Draco Malfoy from losing his soul by carrying out the Dark Lord's request to murder the Hogwarts Head teacher.
Severus had been only too aware that each time the dark mark on his forearm had burned, summoning the Death Eaters to Voldemort's side, could have heralded his death. He did not fear his mortality – only that he would fail in his quest – to protect the Boy-Who-Lived; Harry Potter. Much as he despised the young Gryffindor, he would not renege on the promise he made to Harry's mother Lily, that he would protect her son.
Every time, he had apparated to Voldemort's lair at Malfoy Manor, Severus had to quell the rising nausea he felt in the presence of the monster who had killed his best friend and the only girl he had ever loved. He had tried not to recoil in horror as the pureblood loving maniacs gleefully shared macabre tales of muggle torture and genocide. He had wanted nothing more than to hex the Dark wizard into oblivion – along with his inner circle of homicidal followers like the deranged Bellatrix.
No, Severus did not fear death. He knew that when his end came, the cursed existence he had endured for the last sixteen years would finally be over. Sixteen years filled with self-loathing and regrets – his only enjoyment, the sadistic pleasure he had derived from taking points from the Gryffindors and that, half the time, was part of the pretence. His own Slytherins, on the other hand – many of them children of the Death Eaters he so despised, he had bestowed with favour, hardly ever reprimanding them in front of the other houses, and never took points. The other Heads of Houses already treated the Slytherins unfairly, deducting more points than for Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. The arrival of Harry Potter and his two chums who made up the other two thirds of the 'Golden Trio' had only increased his ire. The old coot, Dumbledore had made no secret of his favoritism for the trio – especially the dark haired spawn of James Potter; Severus Sworn enemy at school. But at times, Severus had to remind himself that Harry was also part of Lily too – and that is why for the last six years, Severus had, despite his loathing for the foolhardy Gryffindor, saved Harry's life countless times and endured the crippling pain of the cruciatus curse and the burning sensation of the Dark Mark that made him want to claw at his own flesh in desperation.
"My Lord..." As the words left his lips, Severus tried to quell the uneasy feeling that was rising in his gut as Voldemort circled him like a cat toying with its prey. It was hard to believe the terrifying snake-like visage towering above him had ever been the handsome, charismatic man that was Tom Riddle. Beside the Dark Lord, lay coiled his monstrous serpent familiar Nagini.
"You have been a loyal and faithful servant, Severus, but only one of us can live forever."
Severus' eyes grew wide as he waited for the words that would end his miserable existence. 'Adava Kadavra!' but they never came, a far more terrible fate was to befall the former potions professor and head teacher as the Dark wizard flicked his wand and Severus' legs were swept from under him. He felt a sharp sting in his throat, followed by a warm, wet sensation trickling down the outside of his collar. He barely had time to register that this was his own blood.
"Nagini, Kill!" Seconds after the order was given, the giant snake launched itself through the air. Needle sharp fangs punctured his flesh, not once but several times. Blood ran in rivulets down his neck, soaking into the starched white collar of his shirt. He was hit by excruciating spasms as Liquid fire coursed through his veins as Nagini's venom was injected into his blood.
He barely heard the uttered words, "I regret…" as Voldemort swept from the boat house, taking the monstrous serpent with him.
Severus sat propped against the filthy window of the boat house, as he gasped for breath. He could feel the venom flooding throughout his body. He knew it wouldn't be long now till the darkness claimed him. He was aware of the sound of footsteps approaching him. He finally glanced up and his dark eyes met the green ones of Harry Potter. He was shocked to see the sadness and sympathy held in their depths. The boy crouched beside him, he placed a hand over Snape's wounds, trying in vain to stem the bleeding.
For the first time, Severus looked at the boy and saw Harry – not James or Lily. How could I have been so wrong?
At least he could do one last thing. He wept, pouring his memories into the tears "Take them!" he implored.
Harry gazed at the dying man in confusion.
"Take them to the pensieve."
Finally understanding, Harry turned to his friends, requesting a flask. Hermione, always prepared for any eventuality, handed him a small vial. He gently held the vial to his former teacher's ashen face and collected the tears.
"Look at me." His voice was now devoid of the usual bitterness and sarcasm. Harry granted the dying man this last request. His green eyes met black. Severus features softened as he murmured. "You have your mother's eyes."
Severus wasn't seeing Harry Potter that instant, but another pair of emerald eyes – ones that he had not seen in 16 years, now gazed back at him. He felt a huge weight shift off him, he could finally be at peace. Already the darkness was hovering around his peripheral vision. He succumbed to it gratefully.
.
Severus closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "Then, if I'm dead, I obviously didn't make it to heaven, and I doubt the great Albus Dumbledore would end up in hell, so what is this place?"
"It is, I suppose, somewhere between. A waiting area, if you wish."
Severus nodded. "Lily! She's not here." Severus murmured, sadly. "I always fancied that when my time came, I would see her again."
The old man drew his hands together in a steeple in front of his chest and looked thoughtful. "Did you Severus? After everything. The way you treated Harry Potter?"
"The way I treated…I kept the boy alive, I saved his life," he hissed. "I risked my life for him for the last three years, every-time I was in that damned man's presence!"
"I'm well aware of the sacrifices you made for Harry, Severus, but tell me…do you think you were fair on the boy?"
"I didn't molly coddle him, like his relatives, hang on to his every word and idolise him, like all his adoring fans and…" He scowled as he watched the old man draw circles in the air with his wand. "What are you doing?" The dungeon dissolved as the scenery around them changed. His eyes darted between the new scene – that of a muggle street -and the old man. "What is this Albus?"
Dumbledore lowered his gaze to the floor and spoke quietly. "It was partly my fault, I suppose. I kept certain things from you. I could not afford for you to become emotionally involved."
There was little chance of that!"
"Yes, but, perhaps had you seen and understood how similar you both were, you would perhaps have not been so predisposed to cruelty in your teaching methods."
"I was your spy, Dumbledore."
"And a Master Occlumens Severus! You could have hidden your feelings. Anyway I suggest we watch."
It was early morning in November and the sky was still midnight blue overhead, though a pale hint of rose could be seen in the clouds on the horizon above the rooftops. Severus gazed at neat row of houses in Privet Drive and then turned his attention back to Albus. "And where, exactly are we?"
"Surrey."
"Surrey? But why on earth…"
The older man cut him off. "The question is not where, Severus, so much as when."
Severus sneered. "Very well, Albus. So are you going to offer some kind of explanation, or is this expedition into deepest muggle suburbia part of the regular activity in the afterlife, because if it is I think I would rather take my chance with Hades himself!
"Look closer – over there at number four." Albus nodded, indicating the house in question.
Severus followed the older man's gaze and his eye alighted on an object on the doorstep, growing wide as he recognised the small bundle as a human child.
"What…? Is this the night that Harry Potter was left in the care of his doting relations?" He said softly. He felt the force of the realisation of exactly what occurred on that date – what he had lost – and had been paying for ever since. "Why are you showing me this? You know what I lost that night."
"What about what Harry lost Severus? Did you ever stop thinking about your own self long enough to consider exactly what impact the loss of both his parents had on the child?"
"But he still grew up with his relatives, cared for and –"He never finished his sentence. The words died on his lips as the front door to number four Privet Drive opened and a long bony faced woman with thin lips and dark curly hair appeared on the doorstep.
"Petunia?" Severus turned to Albus in disbelief. "You left Lily's child with this woman?"
A/N: So – do you think Severus will have a change of heart about Harry now? What do you think will happen when Petunia finds he sister's child on the doorstep?
The title is the name of a song by Bauhaus, from their album entitled Mask
