August 30, 2004 -
Edward and I had homeroom together the next day. We didn't acknowledge each other at all, which was terribly hard to do. Everyone had already sorted out what areas of the room were going to be theirs, and Edward and I had laid claim to the back corner yesterday - before this, before I'd fucked everything up.
We sat right next to each other, facing the chalkboard with our hands crossed on the desks. I tried to say hi, to apologize for last night, hell, to say anything. But I was frozen.
I absolutely didn't know what to say.
It was a good thing I didn't see him again until lunch. By that time, I had spent all morning brooding about it and still came up with nothing. Tanya, Rose and I got there at the same time and we instantly hit the sandwich line. Tanya babbled on about her SAT scores and how she needed to take the test over again because her results wouldn't get her into Stanford, which was where Edward got accepted.
Stanford, huh?
That's where I was headed next year as well.
"Well, when do you have to do that?" Rose spoke up.
"That's the problem. The pre-application deadline is September 1. And obviously, I can't get the retake in before the day after tomorrow. So, it looks like I'm not going to be with Edward next year," Tanya whined as she grabbed an apple and threw it on her tray.
"Oh babe, that sucks," Rose consoled.
"What sucks?" Alice yelled as she snuck up on us from behind.
"Tanya can't get into Stanford, which is where Edward's going next year," I explained.
"Oh, well, you can always come hang out at Washington with Jazz and I next year," Alice suggested, shrugging as if she didn't have any other ideas.
"That's an eight hour drive," Tanya retorted in a tone that suggested Alice was stupid for even bringing it up.
"It's better than the fifteen hours to San Francisco," Alice snapped in return. "Besides, I hear there's a lot of good looking guys up there. I'll be taken, but I can always be wingman for you." She flashed Tanya a genuine smile.
"Oh, goody," Tanya muttered sarcastically.
"Don't worry, Tanya. I actually got accepted to Stanford too. I'll keep an eye on him next year. Promise," I added. I was trying to be helpful.
"Thanks," she half heartedly muttered in return. She apparently didn't see it that way.
Tanya grabbed her tray and left the three of us standing in the line.
"What's up her ass today?" Rose snorted.
"Maybe she's on the rag or something." Alice shrugged and took a big bite out of her apple.
"Or things aren't as sunny on their side of the street," I retorted.
"They've been fighting a lot lately," Rose added while we started walking outside. "Emmett and I can hear it from down the hall. Whether it's on the phone or she comes over, she's always screaming at him. She doesn't want him to leave her next year, but it's not his fault that he got accepted to better schools."
Before I could react to that, Rose and Alice got distracted by the new hottie at school and, by the time we actually got to the oak tree, they'd moved on to something else and all but forgotten about the incident with Tanya. We were initially greeted by Jake, who grabbed my tray and carried it over to our spot, throwing an arm around my shoulders in the process.
He pressed his lips to the side of my head and whispered something about being amazing in bed last night. I giggled until we got to everyone else. Rosalie plopped down next to Emmett, and Tanya had resumed her usual spot in between Edward's legs. He had yet to look at me all day.
What the hell was I going to do next period? I'd have to sit next to him for an hour and a half, I'd have to read to him, and him to me, and I'd have to endure all of that knowing what happened last night.
What the fuck was I going to say?
"Here, babe. Eat this instead of your lower lip," Jake suggested, handing me my tuna sandwich.
"Thanks."
"Whatcha brewing about over there?" he whispered.
I shook my head and took a bite of my sandwich. "Nuffin'" I gargled, my mouth full of food. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly, and he laughed and gave me a kiss on the temple. Of course, Edward snapped a picture of that.
"Hot. Real fucking hot. You wanna sneak off and find somewhere to fuck, like, right now? Because I am so turned on by that," Jake teased.
"Your propensity for sarcasm never ceases to amuse me," I joked.
And then Emmett said something that distracted Jake and he got all sucked into the conversation, effectively allowing me to eat my tuna in peace as I tried to think about what I would do. I had to make things right between Edward and I again. I still didn't know how, but damn it, I'd find a way.
Lunch went on around me. Jake, Emmett and Jasper started arguing about who ran the faster mile, Rosalie and Tanya started squabbling about some new tramp in this movie they went to see last weekend, Alice was, again, doing her homework, and Edward remained silent - something rare and unusual. Typically, when the boys argued, it was Edward who instigated them further, often resulting in a wrestling match or some other display of male dominance. This time, not a word from Edward.
Jake noticed this as well.
"Hey, what's up with you?" he asked, smacking Edward on the upper arm. "You alright, man?"
"Yeah, I'm great. What about you? How's the motorcycle thing coming?" Edward replied with an almost genuine smile. It fooled Jake, but I could see the falsity behind it.
"Oh awesome, man. I've added a new exhaust system -" And this is right around the time that I started tuning him out. Sure, I liked motorcycles and nothing got my heart thumping more than being on the back of one when Jake was driving, but as to how they're put together? I couldn't care less.
Edward seemed engaged in the conversation with Jake and hardly shot a passing glance my way.
Funny, I thought. I couldn't take my eyes off him.
Christ! What was coming over me?
I had to get my head out of my ass. I loved Jake - and that's all there was to it. The end, goodbye, see ya later. (Thank you, Shrek.)
When lunch was done, we walked down the hall like we did yesterday. And again, like yesterday, Jake kissed me goodbye outside the door to his biology class.
Then, it was just me and Edward.
He said nothing to me the entire way to class, which was good, in a way. I'd yet to figure out what I was going to tell him. We walked side by side to our seats, casually pulling out our books and getting ready for the lecture. Avallone babbled on about Dante and his devotion to Beatrice, though it was from afar. Though they were both noble, their arranged marriages didn't allow them to ever be together the way they both wanted. Blah, blah, blah, same thing she said yesterday.
After forty five minutes of discussion on chapters five through eighteen, Avallone insisted on us reading the next three chapters out loud to each other.
Great! Real fucking great!
Edward would have to reread everything from last night, everything that made me do bad things to myself - dirty, nasty, awesome things.
He smirked and leaned in closer to me. "Are you sure you can handle this?" he teased, bringing his face merely inches from mine.
"Shut up," I hissed.
"Let me know when you're about to come, and I'll take over for you, if you want," Edward joked again. He licked his lips and eyed me from head to toe.
"Shut. Your. Fucking. Mouth," I snarled.
"What was that all about anyway?" he murmured, a shit eating grin plastered from cheek to cheek.
"I don't know, alright? But rest assured, it won't happen again," I insisted.
"Never say never," he muttered, turning back to the desk so he could flip the book open to the right chapter.
I rolled my eyes and started reading chapter nineteen again, since I inadvertently tuned it out last night. Besides, if I was reading, there'd be no getting hot and heavy in the middle of English class. I continued to read until chapter twenty one, occasionally looking over to find Edward staring at me. His book was still on the first page. He just sat there, looking at me with this weird expression on his face like he'd seen something miraculous happen right before his eyes.
Maybe he was having his own John Hughes moment. Or maybe he was realizing just how big of a dork I really was. Honestly, who gets turned on by a poem written a million years ago?
Me - That's right - the literary-spaz-freak.
I got to the part with the sonnet - our sonnet - and I stopped.
"Go on," Edward urged.
"Can we just skip this poem in particular?" I sputtered, my cheeks starting to burn with the first hints of embarrassment.
"No, I want you to read it to me," Edward taunted. "Unless, you'd rather I read to you,"
"No," I snapped. "No - I'll read it."
Dammit.
It was even worse the second time around. I read the words and pictured my fantasy from last night. I saw Edward's head between my legs, I saw his body on top of mine, I saw spectacular sex between the two of us. I got half way through the poem and then threw the book down in my lap with frustration. "I can't do this," I whispered, leaning in close to him. "I am so embarrassed, Edward. You have to forgive me. I'm sorry about last night. I know you're with Tanya, and I'm with Jake, and what I did was -"
"Indecent, vulgar, some would say revolting?" Edward chimed in.
"Yeah," I gasped. "I'm terribly upset about all of this."
"Really? Because I found it fascinating," Edward admitted.
My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Fascinating? How so?"
"That you were so turned on by my voice, by a poem, by my reading a poem. I should record audiobooks, huh? Put Nora Roberts to shame?" Edward started laughing. "If I was able to induce that from a poem written in 1265, imagine what I could do with actual smut."
"It was the poem, not you," I lied. "And it only happened because I'm a freak of nature, alright?"
He chuckled a little harder, flashing that gorgeous smile in my direction, and rubbed his hand down my back comfortingly. "Don't be that embarrassed. I'm quite flattered, actually. I just thought you and Jake were tighter than that."
"We are," I quickly answered. Or at least I thought so.
"Okay," he continued. "I'll read by myself from now on, if you'd like."
"This goes no further than me and you, alright? You can't tell Tanya," I threatened.
"Tanya? Why would I tell Tanya?"
"I don't know, she's your girlfriend, your best friend. Don't you two tell each other everything?" I reasoned.
"Do you tell Jake everything?"
My natural instinct was to say yes. But I paused.
"Did you tell him about last night?" Edward asked, his tone suggesting that he already knew I hadn't."I won't tell anyone. Our little secret."
Him saying that took me back to that summer that he used to sneak into my room. We were just nine years old and already keeping secrets from the rest of them. It seemed like a natural thing for the two of us somehow.
"Maybe you could return the favor before we call it quits completely. If we're going to have an affair, it shouldn't be so one sided," Edward teased.
With one little joke, the entire weight of last night had been lifted off my shoulders and I giggled, smacking him playfully on the shoulder. "Shut up, Edward. Just - read the damned story, alright?"
He didn't call me that night, and for that, I was incredibly thankful. Jake and I had phenomenal sex, and I didn't even think of Edward once. It was like it never happened. Life went on - almost.
After we were done, I walked to the window and went to shut the blinds. Upon doing so, I noticed a familiar set of eyes across the street on the porch swing. I wasn't wearing any clothes, but I didn't seem to care. I gave him a small wave and clicked the shades closed.
What a pair we'd make, huh? A masturbating freak of nature and a peeping tom.
I shook my head, laughed to myself and climbed back into bed with Jake, who had since fallen asleep and started snoring.
October 31, 2004 -
It was Halloween. Time to party! We planned to crash the shindig that Jessica Stanley was having - the same party that she neglected to invite any of us to.
Bitch.
She lived in the same neighborhood as us, but on the far side, about four blocks away from my cul-de-sac.
Of course we were going, whether she knew it or not.
Why would she ever think she could keep us out?
Jake and I decided to go as Cleopatra and Marc Antony and, I had to admit, Jake's Roman solider costume was fucking HAAAWWTT. We almost didn't make it out of my bedroom on time. It was about this time in my life when I started to wonder if I had a thing for costumes or dress up or something. I tossed it up to an extreme desire to undress Jake - no matter what he was wearing. But as soon as I'd gotten his dick in my mouth, he shut me down and said the costume was rented from the Theater department at school. It absolutely could not be returned stained.
For fucking shame!
I finished pinning my hair back and securely fastened my Egyptian style wig in place before we hit the road. There was no sense in driving, so the eight of us met outside and walked the short distance to her house. It wasn't long until we figured out the size of the party by the number of cars parked outside.
"The whole fricking school is here," Edward exclaimed.
Ever since our talk in English class, we'd gone completely back to normal - sort of. We avoided situations where we'd be alone together at all costs. We didn't talk on the phone anymore and kept the flirtations to the hour and a half that we were forced to be together in English. When we were around everyone else, nothing had happened between us. When we were alone, neither of us could forget the intensity of that night. He teased me about it whenever possible and I had taken to calling him jealous that it was I, the female, who had used and abused him, the male. It was simple banter - a playful way for us to make that night okay.
Sure, the sex with Jake was great and I loved him with all of my heart, but there was something about this kid; something about my attraction to Edward was new and forbidden, somehow making him more tempting in my eyes.
Rose and Emmett had dressed up as Frankenstien and his Bride, while Alice and Jasper showed up as a Cowboy and an Indian. Tanya and Edward came as Romeo and Juliet, somehow making the whole situation seem that more ironic.
We didn't even bother to knock at the door. Like true reckless teenagers, we just stormed the place and it was already packed. When Edward said the whole school was here, he wasn't lying. At least everyone in the senior and junior class were in attendence; I even spotted a sophomore or two. We squeezed in and found our way to a corner at the back of the room where we could all dance and carry on without being in anyone's way. Edward and Jake took off to get everyone beers as Alice and Rose pulled me onto the dance floor. We started shaking our asses to "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani, screaming the chorus at the top of our lungs.
By the time the boys got back, I was thirsty as all hell and swallowed the whole beer in one gulp. Jake eyed me with amazement and laughed, taking my empty cup as soon as I was done.
"That's my girl," he cheered, smacking me discreetly on the ass. I leaned in and gave him a kiss just as "Disco Inferno" by 50 Cent started blaring over the speakers. I pulled my sexy man out onto the floor and started pushing up on him, grinding my hips as seductively as I could. Jake pushed back and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips to my neck and earlobes.
I don't know if it was the beer I just downed or the general playful atmosphere, but I found myself feeling like I'd never been more in love with him.
About two hours and ten beers, four shots and three jello shooters later, I was in the basement playing Tanya and Jake in the reverse couples beer pong tournament. It was down to the final shots. Edward and I only had two more cups to hit, Jake and Tanya had four. Tanya had taken to throwing herself all over Jake in order to distract me, which, of course, didn't work. I knew he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. Just to spite her efforts, I hit the cup closest to them and shot a shit eating grin in her direction. Tanya and Jake groaned, throwing their fists into the air with frustration.
Then, it was Edward's turn. He stepped up to the table, eyed up his shot and let it fly. The ball circled the rim of the cup, tittering and totting before ultimately falling out.
"No big deal," I consoled. "I'll hit it next round."
"Ugh, almost!" he groaned.
"Yeah, well, like my good friend Brandy said back in '92, almost doesn't count," Tanya teased.
I laughed my ass off. God, that girl was hilarious when she was tanked.
This time, Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and started trailing them towards my breasts to distract Jake.
At the time, I felt like it was all in good fun. We were drunk and we both knew who we were going to end up with anyway, so I didn't think much of it.
Until it was Tanya's turn.
Edward slid his hand down the front of my white, Egyptian robes and clutched my entire pussy in his palm. He had done it on the outside of my clothes, so it wasn't like he'd really done anything bad. Still, the look on Jake's face suggested otherwise, so I squealed and went to pull his hand away, laughing and playing it off like a joke. Tanya missed the cup. She groaned and immediately turned to wrap her hands around Jake's neck. She pressed her lips to his and slid her hand down the front of his Roman costume, clutching his dick with her palm.
Wow, I thought. He's not even stopping her.
Fuck it. Edward had practically just gone to second base with me. Kissing's probably okay, right?
In my drunken haze, I blocked them out and shot my ball, landing it firmly in the final cup.
"Like my good friend Rick James said back in '82, Fuck your couch!" I joked playfully.
Edward threw his arms up in the air and yelled, "Fuck your couch!" before wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me into the air to spin us around. He was so drunk; we almost fell into the giant speaker next to the table.
Jake chuckled while Tanya growled and rolled her eyes.
It was Edward's turn to shoot. Unfortunately, he didn't make it and Team Janya was allowed rebuttals.
Now came the distraction.
Would we or wouldn't we?
Before I could really think it through, he made up my mind for me. Edward twisted my torso around and pressed his lips to mine in otherworldly bliss. Something was exchanged between us, something powerful, some kind of force to be reckoned with. It was the same kind of electric static charge that took over the first time our skin ever touched. I'd never experienced anything like it before - never, not even with Jake. My head was spinning and the world darkened leaving just him and I to revel in our own passion. My fingers twisting harder in his hair, I pulled his lips tighter and tighter to mine. I felt insatiable; I literally couldn't get enough of him. This feral beast inside of me kept shouting, "More! More! More!" His fingers were all over me, seemingly at once. Just when I thought I might come from merely kissing him, a throat cleared next to us.
Jake interceded and pulled me away from Edward. "You two looked a little too into that," he taunted.
"Edward's a great actor, huh?" I teased, looking back and forth between Tanya and Jake.
Jake laughed and threw his arms around me, lifting me into the air the way Edward had done moments ago.
Tanya smirked, grabbed the beers she had to drink for losing and disappeared out of the room. By the time Jake put me back on my two feet, I realized Edward must have followed her out because he wasn't anywhere near us anymore.
"Wow," I whispered. "What the hell was that?" My lips were still burning, I almost couldn't form the sentence completely.
"Yeah, right? What's going on with them?" Jake added.
"Fuck if I know. They tried to drag us into it," I tried to explain, but I was reeling from that kiss with Edward. God, the way his hands felt on me was amazing. I wasn't sure I'd ever get over it. "Rose says they've been fighting a lot lately."
Focus, Bella!
You're with Jake!
I shouldn't be thinking about Edward at all, especially not the way his hands felt on my skin. I'd left that part of me in the past, I'd thought I gotten over him two months ago.
But - fuck - that kiss was fucking Earth shattering.
"You ready to head back home?" Jake muttered, brows furrowed and confusion etched into those adorable puppy eyes. He was obviously reading something strange on my face that made him concerned. He knew that kiss was something more than an attempt to distract Tanya. That was Edward trying to sneak in on his territory, I could practically smell the jealousy eeking out of his pores.
"No," I started, finally snapping back to reality. "No, it's only one in the morning. Let's go see what everyone else is doing."
Jake dragged me upstairs where we found Jasper and Alice sitting in a circle of people talking about how the government was corrupt and 9/11 was something George W. Bush did nothing to stop.
"He knew it was coming," she slurred to a group of nodding heads. I loved her to death, but the more she learned about politics, the more she turned into a skeptical, left-wing radical. It was adorable, if that was possible.
Circling into the kitchen, we found Emmett and Rose playing a game of flip cup on the breakfast island with half of the varsity football team.
"JAAAKKE! BEELLLLS!" Emmett belted. "One of you fuckers come play with us. We're a man short and taking double cups is slowing me down."
"Pussy!" Jake yelled in response. "You mind if I go play? Or do you want me to stay with you?"
"No, no. Go play," I insisted. I gave him a small kiss and decided to head upstairs to find the bathroom. I had yet to break the seal, but, damn it, it was time. My back teeth were practically floating.
When I finally made my way through the massive crowd of gyrating hips and flailing arms, I headed upstairs to discover the equally as massive line for the toilet - a line I had no desire to stand in. Frustrated, I grunted and leaned against the wall, waiting as patiently as I could. I considered just running back over to my house to pee. It would take me fifteen minutes total, but the problem was that once I was there, I'd only want to crawl up in my bed and go to sleep.
Man! Fuck this party.
"Pst!" came a sound from behind me.
I turned around to find Edward peeking his head out of the master bedroom. He nodded, beckoning me towards him, something I debated for a minute or two. What if it was a trap? What if Tanya was on the other side, waiting to pounce on me for "kissing her man?" And if I got out of line, hell, it'd only get longer and then I'd just have to wait again.
"There's a bathroom in here," Edward whispered. "Shhh - don't tell anyone." He was trashed, slurring his words and talking louder than he meant to.
Fuck it.
I skipped down the hall and snuck in. Edward shut the door and pressed me against it, sliding his knee in between my legs.
"What are you doing?" I tried to say sternly. Instead, it came out more like a gargled giggle.
"You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen," he mumbled, sliding the fabric of my dress to the side so that he could eye my cleavage indiscriminately. He was terribly drunk, his breath reeking of alcohol and cigarettes.
"Oh yeah?" I replied with a little chuckle. "That's because you fuck bee-stings every night."
Shit!
"Did I just say that out loud?" I blurted.
Damn it.
"That was supposed to be a thought," I continued.
Edward initially looked shocked, but then he started chuckling and pressed his pelvis harder into mine.
"Tanya has great breasts." I tried to backtrack, but that didn't work either. "Not that I was looking at her tits, just that I've noticed them - in passing - ya know? We played Volleyball together that one season." I was rambling at this point, mostly because I was nervous but also because I'd just told Edward that his girlfriend of a million and one years had bee-sting titties.
God, I was trashed.
When I finally looked at him again, he was leaning in really close to me with that gorgeous smile.
"Shut up, Bella," he hissed playfully.
"Gladly."
"What made you come?" he asked candidly.
"Vibrators, cunnilingius, Gerald Butler -" I'd started rattling things off, thinking he'd said, "what makes you come?"
He shook his head and laughed. "No, no. That one night, the first day of school, La Vita Nuova. What made you come? Be honest," he demanded.
"Come on, Edward, I thought we'd moved past that," I attempted to say. Who knows if what I said actually made any sense. Between my thumping heart beat and all the alcohol I'd consumed, I could barely hear myself think anymore let alone talk.
Whether it came out right or not, he seemed to understand me. "I wanna see what your face looks like when you come."
He slid his knee further under my pelvis, rubbing his Romeo tights against my Cleopatra skirt. I didn't know my panties could get soaked so quickly - but Jesus Christ, it was like he had that shit on fucking lock down. I gasped as my breathing hitched and my heart literally skipped a beat. "That doesn't mean you're allowed to," I taunted.
I was playing hard to get. Then again, maybe "playing" wasn't the right word. I was hard to get - really hard to to get. I loved Jake and Edward was supposed to love Tanya.
Doomed as this relationship was, God, I wanted him so bad. I wanted this so bad that my Judas knees shook under my weight and threatened to give out on me any second, indicating just exactly how much he was getting to me. There was no way he didn't notice that.
"It'll be our little secret," he continued. "No one has to know."
The charge between us was intensifying, spreading from my groin to my fingertips at lightening speed. I had to do something. I had to stop him.
So I blurted the first thing that came to mind. "God, that outfit really does wonders for you," I started. "I always wondered why fashions died out, and then I saw you in this getup and it all made sense." I laughed and pointed to his traditional Shakespearean helmet. "I especially like your hat. Is that a real feather?"
"Don't change the subject, Bella. You want me just as bad, don't you?"
"Where's Tanya?" I asked, looking around.
"She got mad at me," he slurred with a fake pout. "Thought we kissed too well, like we'd done it before." He swayed back and forth in front of me, giving away exactly how much he'd had to drink tonight.
"Ah. I see."
"I want to do it again," Edward continued, grinding the top of his knee harder into my pelvis. His face drew closer.
Oh, God, I thought. He's going to kiss me.
Fuck! I want him too.
"Edward," I whimpered, pushing his shoulder's back. "That's not a good idea."
Even if it felt like the best fucking idea in the world.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, followed by someone trying to push through it. Edward and I toppled forward for a second until he pushed his foot against the bottom to keep them from coming in.
"Hey, I wanna get my jacket," Alice squealed followed by an abrupt laugh.
"Hey! You in there! No sex in the champagne room," Jasper called behind her.
"Kiss me," Edward said quickly.
"Not likely." I slipped under his arm and bolted for the bathroom, slamming it shut behind me once I was there.
There was no way in hell, absolutely no way whatsoever, that I could let Alice see me like that with Edward. She'd tell Tanya, for sure. They were better friends. I promptly sat down and pressed my back to the bathroom door, running my hands through my hair to get a sense on reality.
Had all of that really happened?
Would he remember it in the morning?
Would I?
"EDDWWARRDD CULLLLLLEN!" Jasper sang. "The Cull-ster, The Cullenator, The Edikins, - wait a second - That last one was a little stupid, huh?"
"I know I heard Bella in here. Where is she?" Alice yelled overtop Jasper's ramblings.
Ahh - fuck. I couldn't hide from pixie-ears.
"She heard you coming and ran into the bathroom to hide," Edward teased.
Alice came over and tried to get in, but of course, the door went nowhere. I was leaning against it.
"Bells! It's Alice. Don't hide from me, okay? I love you, why would you do that?" Alice whined from the other side, lightly tapping her fingers against it.
Once I'd gotten my wits about me, I stood and opened the door for her, welcoming her in as well.
"I hope you don't mind if I pee?" I greeted.
Alice laughed, snorted a little, and gestured me to have at it.
I sat on the toilet to handle my business as she walked to the enormous mirror over the sink and started examining her eye makeup.
"So," she started.
"Sew buttons?"
"So, what were you doing in Jessica Stanley's parent's bedroom all alone with Edward?" she asked. "Inquiring minds want to know."
"I was looking for my coat," I instantly lied, trying to keep a straight face.
"Of course," Alice agreed, seeming to understand. "Looking for your coat up against the door?"
I bit my bottom lip nervously. "We weren't doing anything, Alice."
Suddenly, Jasper broke through the bathroom door. "Found it!" he announced, holding Alice's coat high in the air. Then, he realized that I was still sitting on the toilet and threw his hand over his eyes, slowly backing out the way he came. "Whoa! Whoa! Sorry, Bells!"
"Look, I won't say anything to Tanya if you were. Just don't hurt Jake like that. He deserves better."
"Alice," I insisted, standing up to flush the toilet. "We weren't doing anything. Honest. He was helping me look for my coat." I walked to the sink and started washing my hands.
"Okay, if you say so." Alice shot me a wink and turned to leave. "We're going home, alright? I'll see you tomorrow."
I nodded and gave her a hug goodbye.
That was the first night I dreamt of Edward. Every time I drank liquor, I had the strangest and most intense dreams. I only wished that I could have attributed this particular one to substance abuse instead of its real origins.
We were at school, of all places, walking into our English classroom. Nobody was there. We sat at our seats and decided to wait for Avallone and the other students. But no one ever came. Confused, we started wandering the halls, looking in every space we could. When we finally came to realize we were alone, he pressed me up against the lockers, the way he had in August, and connected his soft lips with mine. His hands were everywhere - in my hair, between my legs, on my breasts. It was incredibly intense, like I was really there and this was really happening to me. Before I knew it, he had my pants around my waist, my face pressed to the cool metal and a fistful of my hair.
"You're mine, Bella. It should have been us," he whispered before surging into the throbbing opening between my legs. God, it felt good.
As much as I knew it was wrong, I was loving it - every second of it.
Somewhere in the coital bliss of my own imagination, I looked down the hall and saw Jake standing there, staring at us fucking in our high school - and suddenly, the rest of the school was there as well.
I tried to push Edward away from me, to tell him that Jake was standing right there, but Edward didn't seem to care.
He said, "Let him look," and continued what he was doing.
Something inside didn't like that. I wasn't a cheater. I didn't do that kind of shit.
And that's when I woke up.
Dreams are a fucking bitch, right? You always wake up at the most confusing spots.
And in the most precarious positions, I'd come to learn. I had definitely been masturbating while I slept.
The first thing I noticed was how cold it was in my room. Jake must have opened the window before we fell asleep. Immediately, I stood and trailed my sleepy ass over to shut it. I couldn't help but look over to Edward's house. I noticed nothing unusual until I glanced in his bedroom window.
There he was - fucking the shit out of Tanya.
Don't ask what possessed me to do it, but I felt compelled to stand there and watch him for whatever reason. Maybe it was the way he looked at her, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Or maybe it was the way he cradled her head and looked deeply into her eyes and kissed her nose. Make up sex - most definitely make up sex.
In any case, he looked gorgeous.
And now I felt jealous of Tanya, in addition to feeling guilty for having 'an encounter' with her boyfriend at the party tonight.
Just then, Edward looked up and met eyes with me.
Oh shit!
I ducked.
I don't know if he saw me but it didn't really matter.
I crawled back to my snoring boyfriend and attempted to sleep.
Needless to say, I wasn't terribly successful.
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's reading this little idea I had one day. Please leave a review and let me know what you liked/didn't like. Also, be sure to check out my blog, link available on my profile. Thanks again for reading.
