Minor spoilers for Undead Nightmare.

"Padre, will you come with me to the gym tomorrow?"

"No, son. I'm playing a game."

"But-"

Dio hung up. And decided to pay alittle more attention this time.

But his mind was clouded with other stuff as he read the dialogues. Today was a slow day in the office. So far, people saw him as a crooked lawyer. With Erina trying to tell her husband to not hang out with him in fear of being influenced, or this retard named Speedwagon saying he smells evil.

He was just trying to do his job, okay?? He was presented a choice back then when George was still healthy, be a doctor or a lawyer?

Dio chose law just so he knows how to break them. That and Dr. Dio doesn't have a ring to it.

So he impressed that emo chick with his words. He is in to long haired girls anyways. Natsuki was whining about it though to which Dio took a dislike for the girl.

So far, everything seems normal once again. But Dio won't let his guard down, it already freaked him out with those cheap scares. Monika kept telling him to save his game though to which Dio masterfully concluded that she is going to be the player's helper to romancing one of the girls.

Monika: Don't forget to save, Boner-kun.

He can't help but grin at that cheap joke. And with that save, he left the game to play some Undead Nightmare. "Enough school girl bullshit, time for some sidequests." he told himself.

Doki Doki seems like something Giorno would play, that big nerd. Dio went on to take the sidequest from the crazed sasquatch hunter...

Hunter: There been, Sasquatch roamin' around the woods.

John: Are you serious?

Hunter: Do I look like I'm jokin'?

"No, but you look like you're homeless." Dio scoffed.

Jonathan tossed and turned. He is basically weak when it comes to psychological horror, being the simple minded, naive man he is. He can't help but feel like he was being watched. "Is something wrong, dear?" Erina asked him as she rubbed her eyes. "N-Nothing, darling. Go back to sleep." Jonathan said as he got up to use the bathroom. As he walked past his computer, he noticed the webcam's red light is blinking. "That's... Bizarre." Jonathan curiously inspected it...

Sasquatch: None of us left... Please kill me, I can't take it anymore!

Dio gulped and paused as the last Sasquatch sat in misery. It made him feel something fairly new, pity. "Should I kill him or let him live..?" Dio weighed the pros and cons. Letting him live is just torture and killing him is just equally as bad...

"Hmm... I may be an evil bastard but... HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET TO MAKE SOMETHING EXTINCT! This is great!" Dio grinned as he shot it in the head.

His phone rang, "What is it now, Jonathan?"

Now JoJo is being ridiculous, he said that the game took his wife...

"I'M NOT... FUCKING... HIGH, OKAY?! Listen, you're gonna come over here right now, or I will beat you to death with my dick you hear me?! I will murder you with my di-"

Dio can't stop laughing at his brother's VERY out of character behavior, choosing to laugh at his suprisingly vulgar mouth instead. "Alright, cease your screaming, you imbecile. I'll be right over." Dio chuckled as he hung up. He doesn't believe Jonathan at all, and will just visit just because he won't miss the opportunity to witness his brother act ungentlemanly.

Jonathan panicked as he just saw Erina disappear right in front of his eyes. The game is cursed, possessed! Truth to be told, he never got past Sayori's suicide. He immediately cried like the kind hearted soul he is and decided he won't play anymore. But it seems like the game wants to be played. As it still appeared even after he deleted it, and change his wallpaper of his wedding to Sayori's corpse. He paced back and forth as he waited for his brother to arrive.

Dio kicked the door open with a grin "I got here as fast as I can."

Jonathan greeted him with a smile, thankful to have such a caring brother. But Dio just came here to watch Jonathan flip out.

"And then I saw her and then now I don't!" JoJo explained in distress. Dio then asked the real question. "Why the hell are you playing that game anyway?"

"Well... You see, Maria... Pocco's sister, told me that she helped develop the game. She said it's very well written and very engaging. And you know me, Dio. I'm as much of a bookworm as you are, good stories excite me! Whether they are from a film or a game... But she didn't tell me anything about it being... Possessed!"

Dio laughed once again "Don't be ridiculous, JoJo. There is no way a game could be possessed. And look, Erina was over there!" Dio pointed at the terrace to which the blonde woman entered. "Oh, I didn't know you're visiting, Dio." she glared at the lawyer. "How can you not hear JoJo scream about how he'll murder me with his dick, woman?" Dio taunted much to JoJo's embarrassment. "Y- Where have you been, love?" JoJo asked. "Oh, I just went out to get some fresh air. Why what happened?"

Dio left, it was all worth it to see Jonathan flip out like that. He'll never let him live it down.

As he returned back to his home, he saw the computer was still running. "What the- I must have left it running." Dio muttered and sat back down. He received a new email from a username called lilmonix3. Probably a new client. But as he opened it.

"PLAY ME."

Dio scratched his head. He's got to be honest, it was unnerving him. Well might as well play.

Clicking his save file, he tried to push the feeling of dread away by reminiscing JoJo's retarded threat.

So far the girls sans Monika were talking about how late she was and why. Dio willed himself to focus for once. They concluded that she has a... Before cutting themselves off.

"Has a what? A period? An emergency?" Dio urged them to continue until Yuri said that Monika is more desirable than all of them combined. "Then why isn't the game allowing me to romance her. I deserve the best, because I am the best." Dio huffed and crossed his arms. Monika entered the room and claimed she attended piano practice.

Since Dio's poem appealed Yuri so much, Boner-kun was introduced to Portrait of Markov as they make tea and eat chocolate.

Dio remembered the time he pranked his son to drink his piss. Claiming it was an exotic Sub Saharan cactus tea. To this day, Giorno didn't know the truth. A really weird scene where Boner-kun fed chocolate to Yuri was shown, much to Dio's unamusement.

"She had hands, let her eat it herself." Dio jeered. It's not that he doesn't like Yuri, he just found it unsanitary because humans uses their hands for almost everything and it's disgusting to Dio's eyes as he was a sophisticated and neat man. But he figured he was going to see some action so he unzipped his pants...

Monika: OKAY EVERYONE!

"Oh you cockblocking arsewipe!" Dio cussed as he jumped at the sudden scene change.

Okay I give up. This is going to be a humor story.