Max

I got home in a bad mood. My boss was being a complete wad today. I mean, he's a wad everyday, but I think he bucked up something extra special for me to share with him. He kept yapping at me all day long. Blahblahblah don't harass the inmates blahblahblah late again blahblahblah last chance Ride blahblahblah. Not like that isn't his normal behavior, but he usually pulls me into his office for me to tune him out, but today he did it in front of everyone, and it bothered me to no end. How he could do something so degrading is beyond me. It was almost like the way Fang used to…NO! I couldn't do this, not after so long. Not after every wall I'd built to keep him out. This wasn't going to happen! I wouldn't let it. I needed a drink.

Fang

I was slipping down the stairs, trying very hard not to be noticed by the bartender to which I owed money. Luckily for me Jack was busy with some woman who was hunched over something strong and straight. She didn't say anything, but I saw her head turn slightly when Jack's eyes focused on me. I didn't pay the slightest attention to her; I was used to the stares from girls. I had grown up a lot since I left. I had gotten taller, if that's even possible, and took out my frustrations by pushing my body to its limits. The result was a completely ripped body. Needed to keep in shape somehow, since I refused to fly after I left. Something caught my attention with this one though. Her smell, the color of her hair, the stiffness in her shoulders…thunder boomed, sending down a sheet of rain, just as the glass of liquor shattered in her grip, raining shards on her and the floor. I heard her gasp, blood seeping through her closed fist. She slid out of her chair, obviously trying to get out before someone asked her a question. To bad Jack didn't care. "You okay miss?" he called after her as she yanked open the door. "I'm fine." she plowed out into the storm, the sudden downpour soaking her instantly. That voice, there was no mistaking it, especially when it was tense. "Hey Damon, where's my rent?"

"If you're just going to repeat the same thing every day, you should get a parrot." I shot at him, unintentionally being sharp. I didn't get to see his face before I burst through the door of the bar, doing a three-sixty. "Max!" I yelled, attracting stares from the few people hustling through the rain. I saw someone pause at the name, and start bolting down the street to the left of me. "Max!" she wasn't stopping. I started running after her, running as fast as my legs would carry me. I wasn't gaining any ground, and she was starting to disappear in the crowd. "Max!" I tried again, but it was lost in the sea of noise. Not knowing what else to do, I snuck into a dark alley, pulling my soaked shirt off. My wings snapped open, filling the small space with eighteen feet of pure black power. I pushed off the ground rising straight into the air. I was going to find her.

Max

I felt the tears coming as I ran, trying to escape from the man running after me. This could not be happening. I was so careful, I stopped every thought of him I ever had hard, never mention his name, I hadn't even gone near the rest of the flock. I had studiously kept to myself for nine years, hadn't even extended my wings since I moved into my apartment five years ago. Yet there he was, over six feet of dark glory, dragging my deepest thoughts and nightmares for the recesses of my mind. I needed to get out of here. I ran and ran until I hit the city limits, took off my jacket. Slowly I extended my wings, wincing as muscles warmed up after being held in tightly for so long. Wasting no time, I run pushing my wings down, trying to get air through them. After several minutes of shaky flying, I got the flow back, and poured on the speed, not really knowing where I was going, but I didn't notice much after the tears finally spilled. I shouldn't have been so worked up about just seeing him. The guy had ruined my life, turning me into such a coward that I couldn't even face my own family. I hated him, didn't need him. He was dead to me. Dead. I clenched my fists, and cried out when I realized I had sliced my hand wide open. Must have happened when I smashed that glass at the bar where I saw him. I needed to wrap that up, but as I looked around me, I discovered that I was in the middle of freaking no where. I sighed trying to broaden my view, hoping beyond the wildest hopes that I had seen anything here before. None of this was looking familiar…but I was feeling this eerie sense of déjà vu, telling me that I knew exactly where I was. The feeling didn't go away when I dropped to the ground, letting my wings cool of as the sun slowly disappeared behind the peak of a mountain. Mountain. I couldn't have possibly gone all the way to…these couldn't be the Rocky Mountains. I had suppressed any kind of memory that had anything to do with him; I shouldn't have been able to remember where the old house was at all. Yet here I was, stumbling around in the woods on a mountain. Now that I thought about it, I had known where I was going, I just couldn't bring myself to think it.

I was almost afraid to find the house, to let all those memories surface and take hold of me. The fear vanished when I walked out into the clearing and saw the house, and I couldn't deny the strong feeling of home that I felt. The house defiantly looked weathered, but I guess that's what happens when you leave something unattended for a decade. I flew up to the balcony, landing lightly on the worn floorboards.

Walking into the house was like stepping into a war zone. Some of the windows had blown out, letting in rain and leaves. Anything light was tossed around by the wind, leaving the whole house in disarray. The place where the couch had burned still left ugly black marks on the floor and ceiling, but the smoke smell was long since gone. I never did learn how it started, the fire. I was out with Fang. It seemed like everything bad during those last few months happened when me and Fang were off somewhere. I still didn't see that as a reason to leave me a sappy love letter saying that he would see me in twenty years. Did he not have any idea what a mess I was like after that, what it did to the kids? Did he know how much I was hurting, the pain hollowing me until I had to shove it into some long forgotten part of me, leaving me empty? Did he know that even when I desperately need someone to cry to, Dylan held his arms open, and I refused? Did he know how much I loved him? "Does he even know?" I whispered aloud as the tears that had gradually slowed before reared back to life, forcing me to my knees. "Does he know how much I love him?"

"Do you?" I sprang to my feet, spinning to face the cause of the entire mess. "Do you love me still?" I turned back around, not able to look him in the eye. "Do I still love you? Fang I will love you to the ends of the earth, but that doesn't change jack! Do you even realize what life was like for me when you left? Do you know how much it hurt when you told me that you were leaving in a letter?" I heard the tears in my voice, hating myself for them. "Do you know that I hate you for making me love you so much it hurts?"

"Max…" He sounded strangled. Good. I turned to face him. "Do you even know?" I asked again, wanting to see the pain in his eyes. "Do you have any idea?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, it was the only way I knew to protect you."

"Protect me?" My voice was rising steadily, the anger overshadowing the tears. "You didn't protect me from anything, you only hurt me more."

"You knew you couldn't focus as a leader with me around."

"I couldn't focus anyway. I couldn't even be around them without bursting into tears. I had no idea how to handle anything after that, my whole life was upside-down. And it was all your fault!" I screamed, getting up in his face. "It's not my fault, I was trying to help you." I didn't say anything for a minute, just stared into the eyes that portrayed no emotion. The I did something that shocked us both; I gripped my head in my hands and flat-out screeched for about thirty whole seconds before I sunk to the floor, once again reduced to heaving sobs. "I hate you!" I managed, missing the tone I was going for, sounding more breathless than angry. "I hate me too." Why couldn't he just act like I expected him to? Dealing with him would have been so much easier if he was angry back. "Why aren't you mad? Get angry!" I stood, shoving him backwards. "Come on, get mad!"

"No." I let out another wordless scream, shoving him back again. "Come on yell back!"

"No."

"Yell at me, scream and say you hate me! Tell me you wish I was dead, that you don't love me, do it!"

"No." I snarled, and ran at him, fists raised, hitting his stomach his chest, all the while challenging him to fight back. He showed no pain on his face, so I wound up my arm aiming right for his nose.

Fang

When Max's fist came flying at my face, my reaction came automatically. Almost without thinking, I had grabbed her wrist, twisted it behind her, and flattened her onto the nearest wall. "Let me go." Her voice was low and dangerous, she obviously didn't like that her face was mashed up into the drywall. "Not until you listen." I spun her around, pinning both her wrist above her head. The other grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. "I did that for you. It wasn't working with me there and you know it."

"I don't know anything." I sighed, becoming frustrated, she hadn't changed at all. "All I know is you left me, left the flock, and I can't trust you anymore." I growled, feeling the anger ooze through the cracks of my armor. "Don't you ever say that," my voice, usually calm and cold, sounded harsh and strong, even to me. "You know me, the flock knows me-"

"You're wrong, Fang. I don't know you. I never knew you. I don't know the Fang that used to get into fights with erasers, I don't know the Fang that sulked around the house, I didn't know the Fang in that letter, I'm not even sure I know the Fang that kissed me all those times. I certainly don't know this Fang, so would you like to explain to me how I can ever trust you?"

"You know me, and I'll prove it." An almost pained look came into her eyes as I slowly leaned towards her. I hesitated right before my lips touched hers, unsure of how the feeling of them under mine would effect me. Well, if I was being perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I could control myself from giving into the kiss. I didn't really have a choice, because before I made a move, I felt water run between my fingers, slide down my forearms. Max was crying again , letting the tears slide down her cheeks. My resolve crumbled, but instead of moving my lips that last centimeter to hers, I wrapped her in a hug, freeing her hands as her head fit into the hollow of my throat, where it belonged. "It hurt so much…Even through you said you loved me in the letter, it felt like you didn't want me anymore. I wanted to hate you, because loving you left like I was clinging to something that didn't exist. You were something unattainable, so far away from me that even thinking about you left me with a dull ache." Her voice was so soft, if it hadn't been completely silent, I wouldn't have heard it. "Then I saw you again, and it felt you were ruining everything I had worked for, every ounce of normality I had obtained. I ran, hoping you would just disappear, and I would bury that day with all my other memories of you, locked into some dark part of me I'm scared to enter. I knew that if I turned and went back, I would be opening myself to all that pain and misery again, and I couldn't, and I'm so sorry for that…I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough." Her voice faded out, and I stood there trying to process everything she said. She lifted her head, her mouth next to my ear. "I still love you, even if it hurts me." She let out a deflated breath and started to pull away. "Max," she looked up, and my lips captured hers. At first she was unresponsive, standing stiffly long enough to get me nervous, but then her hands cupped my cheeks, pulling me closer.

Max

I felt my tears spill as I pressed myself closer to him, letting my instincts take over. I knew this was going to hurt me later, but I didn't care, because the only thing that mattered as my world fell apart was that Fang was holding me, and he wasn't letting go.