A/N: So I must say I'm quite proud of the angst in this chapter.
"I gotta admit, it's been pretty quiet at the orphanage since you and Near left."
Matt bent down and plugged in the last of his electronic toys, having drained them on the 12-hour flight from Europe to Asia. Mello was draped across the ancient couch with all the opulence of a prized leopard skin, one arm slung over the back and one leather-bound leg hanging off the edge.
"Have you talked to Near at all?" Matt asked, easing himself into one of the chairs across from Mello.
"A little. We agreed that whoever manages to capture Kira first is the winner. Freakin' runt's working with the SPK, but all he does is sit and play with his damned toys all day. Like he doesn't even care."
Matt's fingers itched for a cigarette. Maybe living with Mello would help him kick the habit; or lessen it at least. Or maybe it would just drive him insane.
"I don't get it." The blonde hung one of his gloved hands over his hip, inevitably drawing Matt's eye to that sinfully tantalizing skin. "How can he just treat it like another puzzle? I mean this is the world we're dealing with. You can't be indifferent with something like this. And he's always been that way; he never has to try and he never gives a shit. You know what he said when L died?" Matt shook his head. "He called him a loser. Just because he couldn't solve the case."
Matt threw his head back and stared at the fissure cracks in the ceiling.
"Yeah, that sounds like Near. But you said it yourself, Mel. He's always been that way, and he always will be. No point in getting all pissed about it."
Mello made a little noise in the back of his throat and resigned to glaring at one of Matt's boots.
"Oh, that reminds me! I got you something at Heathrow."
Mello watched curiously as the redhead shoveled through his duffle bag, scattering several extra pairs of jeans and shirts aside until he pulled out a small purple rectangle.
Matt tossed the candy bar towards Mello, who snatched it out of midair with one gloved hand.
"Cadbury." Mello flipped the chocolate bar over, the corners of his lips tugging as a small grin tried to break through. For Matt, that almost-smile in itself was enough to make the long flight with the screaming kids seated behind him, the bitter cold, the confiscation of his favorite lighter and the heavy jet lag more than worthwhile.
"Matt?" The redhead blinked. Mello was never this quiet. "Why'd you come? Was it just 'cause I told you to?"
Matt shifted in his chair, willing his heavy eyelids to stay open. "Under pain of death." He meant it as a joke, but those blue eyes only darkened. Why had he agreed to come? Was it because he was bored back in England? Was it because he wanted to help catch Kira? Or because he felt bound to serve Mello and abide by his every whim?
No. He knew the true answer; he just couldn't bring himself to say it.
"…sorry."
Matt's eyes snapped open. Mello's head hung heavy on his neck, his face hidden behind his flaxen hair. The blood-red rosary swayed between his knees. "I don't…I don't mean for it to be like this."
With a frustrated grunt, Mello stood and walked over to the cloudy mirror hanging on the opposite wall, staring silently at his reflection. Without a word, he reached up and gingerly touched his own burnt skin, trailing one leather finger from his eye to his jaw.
"After I escaped, I…I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if…"
"Mello."
"Fuck, I was afraid, all right?" Wild anger pierced his words again. "All I knew was that I wanted you here. If I hadn't survived, then that means the last words I ever said to you would've been 'you don't understand.' I was afraid I would never see you again. So I'm sorry if it annoys you…sorry that I order you around like some dog. I don't want it to be like this, but…damn it, Matt, I was so afraid."
His fist flew faster than a rattlesnake's bite and the mirror shattered into dozens of glistening shards, showering Mello with beautiful, deadly confetti.
Matt closed his eyes, letting the crippling truth seep in.
Not if, but when.
When Mello dies, he wants Matt to be there. When the world collapses into a smoldering world of ash and blood and fire, Mello needs him to be there. When it came time to face his death, he wanted Matt to show him how to be brave. Mello had already promised himself that his own life was the price he would pay for his self-destructive methods; it was etched into half his face.
It's always been this way, Mello. You've always sacrificed everything. All or nothing.
Matt stood and silently glided over to where the blonde stood, peering into his reflection that lay in pieces on the floor.
"Mello."
After a moment, Mello turned his lost and distant blue eyes on Matt. Too tired to keep his own eyes open anymore, Matt drifted closer, leaning in until his lips brushed the charred skin just below Mello's eye.
"Missed you."
He hovered for a moment, breathing softly against the marbled scar, waiting for Mello to take that breath he'd been holding for the past minute.
A strangled noise passed Mello's lips and he suddenly threw his arms around Matt's back, clutching him so tightly Matt could feel his nails through his vest. He placed another gentle kiss on Mello's naked shoulder and secured his own grip around the blonde's narrower waist. After spending several minutes lost in each other's embrace, Mello nuzzled his way through Matt's hair until they were finally nose to nose, staring at each other with eyes at half-mast.
Some would say that the act of kissing is a mutual art, which in most cases, it is. But Matt was struggling just to keep himself awake to remain standing upright, let alone respond to his friend's passionate, open-mouthed kisses. He gladly let Mello assume control, groaning tiredly as his the blonde drank in the taste of his mouth like a man that was dying of thirst. Mello tried coaxing Matt's lifeless tongue to come play, skillfully nibbling at it with his own teeth and tongue. Eventually, after he'd even slipped his black leather gloves under Matt's shirt (that was usually the winning trick) and the redhead still showed no enthusiasm, Mello pulled away, though he left his fingers hooked into Matt's belt loops.
"What is it?"
Matt grinned mindlessly; the kind of delirious smirk that says you're either about to drop dead of exhaustion or burst into giddy laughter for no reason whatsoever.
"I'm so fucking tired."
Mello stepped back, a wry smile of his own contorting his marred face.
"Then let's go to bed."
A/N: I know, it's too short.
I know, I need to write more.
I know, it should be illegal to enjoy this as much as we do ^_^
