In Sleep
By S.J. Kohl

Zack/Sephiroth
NC-17, overall


Zack took a deep breath and tried to remain still, but there wasn't anything for it. He couldn't sleep. His nerves were on fire, and he could hear Sephiroth breathing beside him. He wasn't afraid to move, exactly. It was more like…he didn't want to disturb the General. And he still didn't really understand why he was here. Sephiroth had asked him to sleep in his bed with him because he had problems with sleepwalking, but...to keep him there by any means necessary? That sounded like some pretty serious sleepwalking problems. What happened while Sephiroth was sleeping? Did he get violent? Was he afraid of hurting someone? Zack frowned and rolled over on his side, facing the General. He allowed his eyes to trail down Sephiroth's body, but he didn't stare at him outright. That was likely to wake the man up. Sephiroth was asleep...wasn't he? He looked quiet, in any case. Peaceful. That stress line Zack had noticed between his eyebrows earlier wasn't there anymore, and his lips were slack instead of tight and grim. His mouth was even open slightly. Zack couldn't help but smile. The General looked innocent, and he looked even younger now than he had earlier, if that was possible.

He hardly looked older than Zack himself, if Zack remembered anything about what he looked like in a mirror.

I won't touch you.

Sephiroth's promise. Sephiroth's fear, it seemed like. Zack stifled a sigh. Despite everything that had happened that day, he wasn't afraid of being raped. He felt safe here, in this room, with Sephiroth. It was weird, really. He hadn't felt like this since a long time before he'd left home, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He certainly wasn't sure he should trust it. And yet…

It needs to be someone like you.

Sephiroth was extending his trust. General Sephiroth didn't even know him, and yet here he was, in the man's bedroom, alone with him. Sure, he probably wouldn't even be able to chop off a lock of silver hair before the General had his nuts in a vice, but that wasn't the point. There was a certain amount of respect involved in this situation, and it had to be pretty important for Sephiroth to invite Zack into his space like this. He was a pretty private guy according to the rumors. Zack snorted, knowing that was probably the understatement of the generation. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew one thing: Sephiroth needed him. Zack's eyes widened. Actually, he knew two things: Sephiroth needed him, and Sephiroth was awake. Zack swallowed, caught by a pair of green eyes that glowed in the darkness.

"Zack?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"When I asked you to take this assignment, I didn't intend for you to remain awake all night. That would be unreasonable of me, considering your daily schedule."

Zack laughed softly. "I, uh…I'm aware of that, Sir."

"Then I suggest you stop staring at me and get some sleep."

Zack laughed again. "Yes, Sir."

Just...whatever happens, don't let me leave the room.

Sephiroth's words before they'd gone to bed. His only order. All right, Sir. Zack reached out as Sephiroth closed his eyes, tamping out the green glow that had suffused the room. He held his breath and sifted his fingers through strands of liquid silver, visible even in the darkness of the room, and he closed his fist around a thick lock, marveling at how soft it felt. He closed his eyes. I won't let you leave.

Zack was a light sleeper. If anything happened—whatever it might be—he would wake up. For now, he might as well get some sleep.

I won't let you leave. I promise.


The girl closed her eyes and tried not to make a sound. She wouldn't scream for them this time. She wouldn't.

But it hurt.

They were jabbing the needle in again, right into the vein in her neck, and there were hands on her head, squeezing hard, forcing her down against the table they had her strapped to. She could feel the line going in and she tried to move, tried to jerk upward, but her restraints had no give. Like usual.

Mother?

But there was no answer. There hadn't been an answer for a long time.

The pressure on her let up, and the girl knew the hands were gone, but it wasn't any use. The needle was still there, attached to an I.V. line now, and that was what hurt so much. Physical pain she could handle. It didn't go beyond the body, and it was only temporary. Even if it lasted fifty years, it was only temporary. But these men didn't care about causing physical pain. They wanted to steal from her, and she couldn't stop them.

The beeping started then, rhythmic, high, slow. But speeding up, second by second, until it was a continuous stream of sound. And when it stopped…

Silence. Complete, damning.

A rush, a burning. Knives dividing each vein, each artery, each capillary and blood vessel into halves, carving her apart cell by cell with that horrible liquid. And she could feel her grip slipping, feel herself losing…

And then it happened, just like it happened every time no matter what lies she told herself.

She screamed.


Sephiroth came awake all at once just as the sun crested the horizon. He didn't move. He could feel the boy's fingers tangled in his hair, just as they had been when he'd finally fallen asleep. No matter what he'd told Zack, the boy definitely wasn't the only one who'd had a hard time getting to sleep. Sephiroth wasn't used to having someone else in his room, especially overnight, and in the same bed… The weight on the other side of the bed, the movement, the breathing—it felt strange, hostile almost. He'd hardly been able to breathe for fear of disturbing Zack. Still, when he'd finally gotten to sleep, he'd slept well, and…nothing had happened. Relief shivered through Sephiroth, and he sighed. With the information in those documents, and what Hojo had said, he'd thought…but perhaps he'd been overreacting. It was too soon to tell, though. He needed more time. Right now, what Sephiroth needed was to get up, only…he wasn't quite sure how to get himself free without waking Zack up.

He sat up, though, resigned to waking Zack. The boy was a Soldier, after all, and Soldiers slept lightly. Sephiroth glanced down at Zack—sleeping on his back now with his mouth open and his hair everywhere, his covers kicked to the middle of the bed and his gray shirt riding up over his stomach. Sephiroth swallowed, his eyes drawn almost against their will to the sliver of skin exposed between the soft cotton shirt and the sleep pants that rode low across Zackary's hips. The clothes were too big. They were his clothes, not Zack's. He hadn't wanted to send the kid back to his own room for clothes and take the risk that someone would catch him out after curfew. All Soldiers, regardless of age or Class, were required to honor curfew and a number of other rules until they'd been in the program for two years, and the penalties for breaking those rules were quite heavy. So Sephiroth had done the expedient thing and tossed Zack a pair of his sleeping clothes. Now, though, he was almost beginning to regret it. He just couldn't help but stare at the thin, dark line of hair drawing a trail from just below the boy's navel to beneath the waistband of those black pants.

Then Zack shifted, his eyes cracking open and his arms stretching up over his head, pulling the hem of his shirt even higher up his chest. "Morning, Seph."

Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow, watching as his hair moved with Zack's right hand, and wondering if the boy was going to yank it. He didn't, but that was only because it was as long as it was. Any shorter, and Zack might have been a trifle embarrassed. Probably not, though. He didn't seem to have much in the way of shame that Sephiroth had noticed.

Still, Zack did flush slightly and open his hand, allowing the silver strands to fall back to the bed, glinting as they hit the faint light peaking in through the window. He grinned sheepishly up at Sephiroth. "Sorry."

"Quite all right, but…" Sephiroth shook his head and just cocked his eyebrow higher still. "Seph?"

Zack coughed again and shrugged, blinking blearily. "I meant, umm…Sir?"

Sephiroth chuckled and leaned back against the headboard, staring at Zack contemplatively out of the corner of his eye. "No one's called me that for a long time."

"Well, Sir," Zack sat up and rolled his shoulders, trying to stretch out the kinks. "I really don't think anyone has the balls."

"Except for you?"

Zack grinned. "Hey, I never said I had the balls. With me, it's more a case of not having the brains."

"Ah," Sephiroth nodded. "Now that does sound fairly plausible."

"It should. It's the truth." Zack ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He looked at Sephiroth, his expression suddenly serious. "What you were afraid of...it didn't happen."

"No," Sephiroth sighed. "It didn't happen. But that doesn't mean it won't."

"Look, uh…I don't mean to sound presumptuous or anything. Well, actually I do, but that's not the point. It's just…" Zack turned to the side a little, shifting his legs so they were bent at the knees and he could really look Sephiroth in the eyes. "I'm supposed to be working with you. Doing a job, you know. And I kind of feel like I'm working with partial information. I'm not criticizing or anything, and if you can't give me any more information than you have already, well, you're the boss, you know? But…I feel like I might be able to do my job better if I know more about what's going on, you know?"

Sephiroth stared at Zack, his green eyes dark and narrowed. The kid had a point. And what was more, he hadn't hesitated to bring it up. Sephiroth let out a breath of air and pulled the twisted blanket over his lap, coming to an immediate decision. "Do you remember those papers I had you steal from Hojo?"

"You gave me that assignment?" Zack's eyes went a little wide. "Huh. And here I thought those orders came from Angeal, especially considering the little bit of fun you and I had afterward."

Sephiroth almost winced, but he nodded instead. "Sorry about that."

"It's cool," Zack waved a hand. "You do what you have to do. Besides, it could have been worse. I mean, I hadn't even met you yet, and I didn't see you the entire time you were searching me, considering Dr. Hojo had me pressed against the wall long before you showed up, but still…at least it was you who did the whole thing and not someone else. Think about it; Hojo could've insisted on doing the job himself!" Zack laughed and twirled his fingers in the faded fabric of the shirt he was wearing. Sephiroth's clothes were comfortable. He didn't really want to give them up. "Anyway, yeah, I remember it. That little escapade ended with you putting your hands somewhere I'm fairly certain you don't ever want them again. I don't think I could forget that in a hurry."

Sephiroth coughed. "Yes, well... The documents you picked up… They were copies of test results. Tests that had been run on me, to be exact. Some of the comments Dr. Hojo had been making had made me curious. Suspicious, I suppose you could say, and he wouldn't hand the test results over to me himself. What I found..."

Zack waited for Sephiroth to continue, hardly daring to breathe as the General paused, his lips thinned in anger.

"My mako levels are up."

"Yeah, but...aren't your levels naturally higher than everyone else's?"

"Yes. This, however, is something different. I underwent a series of injections about three months ago. They were supposed to be routine. My genetic makeup is different from that of a regular Soldier; consequently, I require different treatments. Still, I have come to believe that these were not, in fact, routine injections. My mako levels…Hojo has spiked them somehow, caused them to increase again. My mako levels usually run about fifty points higher than the levels of other First Class Soldiers." Sephiroth took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Something in my system has changed. The mako has begun feeding on itself. As time passes, it increases rather than decreases. In fact, as of today I should be carrying two and a half times the amount of mako I'm usually carrying."

"Shit!" Zack's eyes widened. "That…that would make you..."

Sephiroth almost smiled. To the boy's credit, he still hadn't flinched. Actually, he might have even moved toward Sephiroth. It was difficult to say for certain, with his eyes still closed. "Inhuman. A monster. I believe I've found a way to drain it, to keep it under control. It seems to be working, anyway, but it's only a temporary solution. And I fear even that might have some side effects, or perhaps it might prove to be only partially effective. I'm afraid I could get...unstable."

"Seph..." Zack did move then, not even aware of using the nickname again. He shifted over and placed one hand on Sephiroth's shoulder.

Sephiroth didn't flinch. It would have been terribly rude after the courtesy Zack had just shown him. Still, he was unaccustomed to having people touch him. "You see, that's why I need you. As things stand, I have control over my actions during the day. But in sleep..."

Zack's grip tightened, and he nodded, grimly. "For how long?"

"Until I can get the levels to stop rising. until..." Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't know. I just don't know."

"Well..." Zack shrugged. He moved again, sliding sideways until he could lie down width-ways on the bed, placing his head practically in the General's lap. "Don't worry about sleeping, anyway. I'll be here as long as it takes. Besides," he grinned. "I would never pass up a possible opportunity to manhandle the General. Especially after that cavity search fiasco."

Sephiroth chuckled. "Somehow, I don't doubt that." He dropped his hands into his lap and closed his eyes again, hardly noticing when a couple of his fingers drifted into Zack's hair, brushing a stray black lock back from the boy's face.

Zack held his breath. He'd kind of gathered that the General didn't touch people often. He hadn't thought a thing about it when he'd laid himself down like this, but…it was probably fairly inappropriate. Still, General Sephiroth didn't seem like he was uncomfortable. Zack almost asked him to scratch the itch that was stinging behind his ear, but he figured it was better not to push. "And anyway," he stifled a yawn. "Your bed's a lot more comfortable than mine."