It was just an ordinary Thursday night and I had planned to go out with the girls but one nod from Arthur and I wasn't going anywhere. This would be the third time this week we had been alone together, not that I was complaining. Arthur was a very attentive partner and knew exactly how to get what he wanted. What can I say, the man was talented.

As we lay entangled on the bed, his fingers played with the ends of my auburn hair. His face grew into a wide smirk and I knew by that look he had something on his mind.
"What?" I questioned, knowing that expression all too well. He replied, feigning his innocence but his smirk only grew. "tell me what it is or I cannot be held accountable for my actions" I said with an all too serious look on my face
"oh really? Well maybe I want to keep quiet and find out what those actions might be"
"this!" I cried as I launched a full-scale attack on his one weakness.

Arthur was extremely ticklish.

After a few minutes of wrestling he finally submitted and I took full advantage, pinning him to the bed. "spill or else" I said trying my hardest to look tough, despite the tears of laughter forming around my eyes.
"it's this- he said gesturing to the two of us- it's nice, you know. It's not too complicated or just sex, it's nice"
"huh, nice." I said a little put out. Personally I rated things a lot higher then 'nice' but apparently I was the only one.
"Els don't be like that, I didn't mean it that way-"
But the damage had already been done. I moved off the bed and went in search of my clothes. I mean it's not like I expected him to turn around and say he loved me. Or to want to be in a relationship but I was at least worth more then nice.

Deep breathe.

Ok now I'm just being stupid, I must be hormonal, I mean to even think I might be in love with the guy. Oh crap. I am aren't I? Oh bugger. Not good.

As I stood staring out the window, he came across the small kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head in the crook of my neck "Els look don't be mad at me, I didn't mean for it to come out like that-"
"no I'm sorry, I must be hormonal or something, don't mind me."
"so we're good?"
"yeah of course we're good Arth, when are we not good" I said with a laugh turning my head slightly. God how can this man not know what he does to me, every breath is giving me goose bumps and sending shivers down my spine.
"good because I can't be doing with my favourite girl being mad at me now can I? Are you still coming over later? Mols coming and she's bringing some of that baileys stuff you like. Besides it wouldn't be a proper night without you"
"well when you put it like that, how can I refuse" I said turning to face him.
"good, so I'll see you at eleven?" I nodded in reply and with that he was gone. It had taken just four months to fall in love with everything about this guy.

In the later times we spent alone together, I tried to prolong the cuddles, making him stay the night just so I could have him hold me. Hoping that I might catch the tiniest glimpse that he might feel the same way I did, but that day never came.

I guess I was just convenient to him and nothing more.

We walked along the darkened streets hand in hand swinging them as we went. It was so odd to be doing this with a man I had been madly in love with.
"Do you remember when we locked a very naked Dom in Miles's office? He never really did live that down"
"Well he shouldn't have thrown the entire contents of my underwear draw out the window!"
"Well you did steal his clothes when he was in the show-"
"-and how many times do I have to tell you it was Mol not me!"
"Pfft" he retorted throwing his head back in a comical fashion. I punched him playfully in the arm, this man really was something else. We continued to reminisce as we walked along, play fighting and dancing. Eventually when I got tired and whinged enough, Arthur gave in and gave me a piggyback ride.
I was in quite a state now, tired beyond compare and the pain in my chest making every stride uncomfortable. Before I could stop myself I mumbled in his ear "mmm... I've missed this smell, so so much" If Arthur replied I didn't hear it, I fell asleep then and there.
I vaguely remember someone setting me down and a pair of soft, gentle hands helping me undress but for the next few hours I was gone to the land of dreams of better days.

When I awoke the next morning the pain in my head was unbelievable. Movement didnt seem an option so I lay there waiting for the fog in my brain to lift. I had forgotten all about Arthur until I heard him "god Els, who's done all this to you?"

he was referring to the multitude of scars littered across my body. I wasn't proud of my 'war wounds'. They served as a constant reminder of what happens when things go wrong.
A hand ghosted over my skin so lightly that it made every inch tingle, he traced ever so gently over the scars, his touch, his presence, his smell was all so familiar, so comforting, so safe. Before I could stop myself I let out a sigh. His hand froze. Should I feign sleep and hope he continues or turn over and face him?