Rehab

And now I feel like Oh
You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what i get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it (Do it, do it, do it)
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

It's like I checked in to rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked in to rehab
And baby, you're my disease
I've gotta check in to rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I've gotta check in to rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Lyrics from "Rehab" by Rihanna.

oOoOo—RN—oOoOo

After she spent the night at Toshiro's home, Gin never raised a hand to her again. She smiled ruefully as she sat on the doorstep. The one promise he ever did manage to keep. At least he did have some measure of credibility, however minuscule it was. She didn't feel nearly as guilty defending her love for him to her taicho.

And she still had no idea why she hated having the usual discussion of why she remained with Gin with the way he treated her. No idea why it hurt her so much to tell her taicho that she loved Gin. That he kept his promise, and things were better than ever.

Except that he'd left her again.

She wiped her teary eyes and stared at the sunset. It seemed that some things never changed. Since they were young, Gin had taken to leaving randomly, disappearing sometimes for weeks on end. In the beginning, and until they'd both found seats in the Gotei 13, he told her he was leaving, and how long he thought he'd be gone. Now, though, he just up and left. Without so much as a wave goodbye.

This time she'd decided that if he walked out that door, he would never reenter it again with her invitation. She told him as much. He smiled sadly and walked off. "I love you, Ran-chan," he said softly as he disappeared into the twilight.

Apparently she dozed off somewhere within her crying, since she didn't remember moving from her doorstep to her bed. She guessed that one of her friends must have stopped by and found her in her state of distress. At least she hoped as much, since she certainly did not want to explain how she managed to set fire to her home because she decided to 'sleep cook.'

The smell of freshly cooked dinner brought her to the kitchen, where she found none other than her adorable taicho standing at the stove. He even wore an apron, trying to keep his taicho haori clean, she guessed. She giggled as she took a seat. When he turned to face her he wore his customary disapproving look.

"You know, it's hardly beneficial to sleep outside on the stoop like that. It was starting to rain when I stopped by. Your hair would have fallen flat."

She detected a hint of anger behind his jest. But she brushed it off, ignoring the hidden jibe. "Ah, Taicho! You remembered how much I hate when my hair falls flat!" she wanted dearly to get up and squeeze him into a hug like she always did, but something in his look held her back.

She tried to smile and act her normal, buoyant self for the remainder of the night, and she mostly succeeded. When Toshiro saw himself out, after making sure she was properly set for the night and next day, she sat on her sofa and cried.

She cried for Gin. She cried for Toshiro. She cried for herself. And the only thing she understood was why she cried for Gin. He left her again. And she let him. She had to give up on this wishful thinking. She didn't need him anymore. He was the past.

She would look to the future now. That would serve as her rehab. She would move past Gin, and on to someone who loved her. Someone who would never leave her.

So, when Gin knocked on her door three weeks later, she didn't know to expect him. He swept in the door past her. And she opened her arms to his hug. He kissed her, and she forgot her silent oath to herself for a moment.

Remembering her promise to herself, she pushed away from his touch. "No, Gin. You need to leave. I told you that if you walked out of my door three weeks ago, it was over. It's over, Gin. You made your decision. You hurt me for the last time." She pointed a finger at the door.

In his anger he slapped her hard across her face and stalked out. He broke the one promise he had held for so long.

She no longer knew what to do. Where could she turn? Who would be there when she did, anyway? And, as if he sensed something wrong – although she assumed later that it must have been more than mere seconds after Gin left her home – Toshiro was there, glaring and biting his bottom lip in anger so fiercely that she thought he would make it bleed, at the least.

"Taicho! What are you doing here?" she asked, alarmed and exhilarated that he had shown.

"He hit you again, didn't he? I swear I'm going to kill him," Toshiro ground out before disappearing after a fading reiatsu trail.

Now not only did she have to worry about Gin getting into trouble, but she had to worry about the murderous intent her taicho held as he disappeared. And why?