Sam wasn't stupid; he knew that simply because Dean was here now it didn't mean that everything would magically be okay again. He'd been diagnosed with retrograde amnesia which meant the he'd lost all his memory after a certain point in his life. Right now it appeared to be Jessica's death. He'd tried to get Dean to tell him what had happened since, fill in the gaps but Dean had refused. He'd told Sam to get some rest. Sam had asked if Dean would still be there in the morning but he'd fallen asleep before he could hear Dean's answer. He hadn't been surprised when Dean had woken up and he wasn't there. After all how many times had he run away from Dean? Maybe that's how he'd ended up here, by running away. He just wished he could remember wished he wasn't so helpless. He'd told Dean a bit about the nightmares he'd been having and Dean had gone pale. Sam had stopped talking about it after that because he hadn't wanted to scare Dean away. But what if he had already?
"Your brother is just confused." a voice said and Sam flinched, as he turned to see the strange man in the trench coat sitting in a chair beside his bed.
"Castiel…" Sam said abruptly and the strange man – Castiel apparently – frowned at him, "You're an angel…"
"That's true, but how do you know if you can't remember?" Castiel asked and Sam turned away. He'd just…known. How was he supposed to explain that? So he changed the subject,
"I saw her die," he said quietly, "I'd been dreaming about it for weeks but I didn't call Dean or Dad because I thought I could handle it myself…it's funny it was 6 years ago but why do I feel as though it happened just yesterday?"
"Interesting," Castiel said and Sam's face twisted in anger. How was this interesting? He thought he was 22 years old when really he was 28! He didn't know what he'd last been doing and memories of his girlfriend dying were fresh in his mind, and apparently angels were real! Yet all this Castiel could say was 'Interesting'.
"If you weren't an angel, I'd probably insult you." he said and Castiel sighed.
"That's more Dean's style than yours," he replied and Sam sank back down into the uncomfortable hospital bed. He figured that the doctor would release him soon but he was uneasy to push anything because he didn't really know where he'd go. Sam turned around only to see that Castiel had disappeared and he groaned and closed his eyes.
ooooOOOoooo
Dean knew that he was ungrateful; he'd spent the last year cursing God and demanding that he brought Sam back and now it'd happened he didn't want to believe it. Because Sam being alive meant that he couldn't pretend anymore. When he'd gotten back to the house he'd been withdrawn and closed off, his mind elsewhere whenever anyone had tried to strike up a conversation with him. He wondered how long he'd be able to continue this façade. He was pushed out of his thoughts by his cell phone ringing.
"Hey…it's me…" Sam's voice filtered in his ear and Dean cursed silently. Damn.
"Uh, hey…how are you today," he asked in a light tone not wanting to worry Sam.
"Same as I yesterday, still don't remember a damn thing….except…you know..." Sam replied in an easy tone. Dean rubbed his hand over his face, he did know. Sam had damn near described his own experience of hell and that scared Dean. On one hand, Sam deserved to know what had happened but on the other hand how could Dean tell Sam all that had happened…how could he pass up on a chance to start over.
"Dean? You there?" Sam called and Dean shook his head,
"Yeah…sorry spaced out for a minute, look I've spoken to Bobby and he says that you can go and stay with him…I'll be up there soon for a visit..." he said. There was a long silence that left Dean feeling extremely uncomfortable until Sam cleared his throat and said,
"Don't be like this, Dean…don't be like Dad…Bobby told me that you were shacked up with a girl and a kid and that's fine, but don't shut me out…not now."
"I have to," Dean paused as he chose his words carefully, "Me and you? We're better off apart…I'd only hinder your progress…I have a different life now and you can't be part of it…"
Dean wasn't surprised when he heard a click closely followed by the dialling tone.
Three Days Later
Dean was packing an overnight bag when suddenly Cas appeared beside him; he ignored him and continued to shove items into his bag.
"You might as well not bother," Cas informed him. "I'll take you". Dean frowned,
"No, you said you wouldn't until 'pulled my head out of my ass', so I'm taking a plane like a normal person!"
"You're afraid of flying, this is stupid besides…it may be a pointless journey" Cas said and Dean stopped what he was doing and turned to face Cas,
"What do you mean?" he asked because if it was up to him he'd be kicking back and enjoying a beer but he'd promised Sam that he'd come and see him. Or at least he'd tried to. He hadn't spoken to Sam since he'd hung up on him.
"Sam says that he doesn't want to see you."
"Yeah, nice try—"Dean starts to say before Cas grabs him and he finds himself in Bobby's front room.
"A little warning would be nice," He growled angrily, "All this angel zapping is messin' with my system." He didn't realise that Sam was sitting there glaring at him. Dean sighed,
"Hey, Sammy."
"It's Sam," Sam said in an icy tone and Dean fought back the urge to roll his eyes. "And I don't want to talk to you." And with that Sam got up and disappeared out of the room. Dean was about to follow him but a hand on his shoulder stops him. He looked up only to see yet another angry glare directed his way.
"Every time I think that you can't be anymore pig headed than your Daddy was, you do something that proves me wrong. " Bobby said and Dean sighed because seriously? What was he supposed to have done now?
"I'm just trying to do the right thing Bobby! This is a golden opportunity for all of us to put what's happened behind us!" Dean argued. "I just…don't want him to remember…"
"That's the most selfish thing I ever heard!" Bobby exclaimed as he shook his head, "He's already remembering Dean! And you and him weren't what you were before all of this happened, what do you think will happen now that you're abandoning him? Do you want him to resent you forever, the way he resented your Dad?"
"He's my brother Bobby, and we're doing this my way!"
"Don't kid yourself, you know what Sam's like, if it's answers he wants he won't give up until he finds them and by then it might be too late"
"Too late for what?"
"Too late for you and Sam to be brothers again!" Bobby said in a sad voice.
Neither of them spotted Sam lurking around in the hallway as he listened to their every word.
ooooOOOoooo
Sam's didn't want to know Dean's reason for abandoning him; he just wanted his memory back. And seeing as Dean was refusing to help him, he'd find out by himself. Maybe Dean was right, he'd only hinder his progress. So as Dean and Bobby continued their conversation he gathered what he could and made his way out of the back door. He was still a bit weak from whatever the hell had happened to him but apparently in the six years he'd forgotten he'd bulked up a fair bit. Sam reckoned that he had enough stamina to at least get away from Bobby's before they'd realise that he was gone.
As he walked down out of the yard he was startled by Castiel appearing beside him.
"You can't stop me," he said simply as he carried on walking.
"I know," Castiel said, "But I want to help, like I said Dean is just confused…he's…you've both been through a lot..."
"Have we now? How the hell would I know! Just…leave me alone…" Sam said tiredly frowning as Castiel held out something towards him. It was a cell phone and Sam frowned.
"What's this?" he asked.
"It's a cell phone; I believe…it's used as a form of communication. I've discovered how useful they can be," Castiel said and Sam raised an eyebrow,
"Well good for you," he replied his voice heavy with sarcasm, "But why are you giving it to me?"
"So that you can contact me and vice versa, I should stop you from leaving but I won't, at least not until I know the consequences of your return" and with that Castiel vanished as suddenly as he had appeared leaving Sam with a confused look on his face. He frowned as he noticed that he was no longer at Bobby's but standing outside a shady looking motel. For a minute, he pondered how he was supposed to pay for a room when the phone in his hand vibrated and he looked down and saw that he had a new text message.
The buttons on this thing are ridiculously undersized. Just thought I'd give you a helping hand. There's some money in your pocket. It should be the correct currency.
Sam shook his head slowly as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he'd just received a text message – from an angel. He was in need of some serious sleep.
ooooOOOoooo
There's a flash of light and two men suddenly appear in a rundown alley behind a seedy bar.
"Did you hear? The Winchester boy, he's back from hell..."
"Yeah I heard, it's been the breaking news upstairs"
"From what my sources told me he doesn't remember any of what's happened"
"That should make our job easier then, there's been unrest amongst the angels, they want payback and this? This could be the perfect opportunity"
"This time around we do it right, no heaven, and no hell…just total oblivion"
