Okay, so awesome dream last night about warriors! It's a little crazier than I usually write, so be prepared.
How Jayfeather really thinks of everyone:
Lionblaze, oh Lionblaze. You are my brother, so I'll try not to be too harsh.
You are a goody-goody with no life. Why does Cinderheart/pelt love you? Oh wait, because you are the Firestar the second. You don't think about consequences before you act. You think you're invincible with your power! It isn't the best, it's actually super lame. How bored would you be winning every fight? At least I have the power to go into dreams. It may sound lame, but think about these! I saved Poppyfrost when she was sick. I can go back in time, which you never can.
Hollyleaf. Sister. I'm sorry about this...I really am.
You decide to kill a cat, and not even tell us! You tell the clans our secret on purpose. You try to get Leafpool to eat deathberries, and right after that you run into the tunnels. You made the clan think you were dead! And you come back moons later, and you act like nothing has happened at all. Hollyleaf, you didn't even think about how me and Lionblaze must feel? You thought it'd be better if cats thought you were dead, but, no, you came back and saved us all from being dead! Most of your decisions were wrong.
Leafpool, boy, do I have something to tell you.
You lied to our faces along with everyone. You aren't my mother ever since that day. Especially since you acted like everything was okay! Ever since Hollyleaf's little burst, everyone knows that you've been the worst mother ever and a code-breaker.
Berrynose...I'm not sorry about this at all.
You whine and complain about every single thing. You ignore my comments when you ask for me! Poppyfrost even thinks that you don't love her. You had to tie me into this drama. I'm a medicine cat, I don't help with this stuff! I'm a healer, not a counselor. Leave me alone. Never talk to me again about this nonsense. Help, I'll give you help, but don't ignore everything I say!
Briarlight. I actually have a better opinion of you than any cat else...
At first, you were annoying, impossible for me to stand. Then I became fond of you, which was not my decision. Milly fusses over you like a tiny little kit. It's only annoying when I'm trying to do something, which is every second.
That leads me into Milly herself...Every word I say is true.
You are a over-protective fox protecting her cub. You have two others, but you ignore them like shrubs. Your kits have mommy issues because you don't pay attention, and when you do, you just scold and hiss at them. You don't hand out with your mate, it's like you aren't mates at all. You don't even go on patrols at all! You could be helping the clan, but instead you fret and worry about nothing. Ugh...just leave Briarlight alone for a second! Geez...
Oh, sorry Bramblestar, I forgot you were here, you weren't in our lives a lot.
You were our father, but you never acted like one. When you did, you just talked to Lionblaze. You only barked orders and punished us. You never played, you never came. You didn't even care when we were away. Wow, father of the year award goes to you, not-father!
Dovewing...I know things Dovewing. I know lots of things about you.
Why do you like Tigerheart, if I can ask? What about Bumblestripe? Don't you like him? Oh, he's just a friend. You broke his heart. But there's another thing I want to discuss. Your power is hearing and seeing far away. Why did we need it in the first place? It's a super lame power, even lamer than my brother's. And yet people still like you, a whiny scamp! I liked a dead cat once upon a time, but that was long ago and now I'm waiting. I'm waiting to see her again, and yet you have two nice toms padding behind your back! Just turn around and pick one of them. If you wait too long, you might miss your chance.
Ivypool...oh, boy, Ivypool. This is gonna be fun.
Little miss jealous she-kitty. You want all the attention Dovewing is getting! You decide to join the dark forest without a second thought, and after you caught Brokenstar's little act, you decide to spy for all the clans! Wow, you're getting attention now. But still, you would have betrayed us if you didn't catch the dark forest's secret little plan.
Firestar. Great! I'm going to do Firestar.
Ah! Firestar, please don't kill me! You are like the best leader Thunderclan has ever seen! Actually, no, you are super bad. You didn't even talk to us when you knew what we were. Dude! You don't know anything! You just sit around and make little changes. You may decide to war, but when do you actually fight? It's usually Bramblestar who strategizes! Boy, I really hate you for sitting around and doing nothing while your clanmates worked their tail off.
My last rant, I guess...is about: RandomWarrior
"Hey!"
What? You're making me look bad, like super bad, and even better, you sit around at your desk. You are a twoleg, a really ugly one at that-
"No I'm not, Jayfeather! How could you insult me? It's super degrading!"
That's the point, Random...you kinda made this to degrade cats.
"I hate you a lot, you know that."
Yeah...right. I'm totally not your favorite character.
"..."
I knew it!
"You aren't supposed to mention it to the people reading this, Jayfeather!"
I don't care, Random. You kinda forced me to write this.
"I did not!"
You bribed me.
"...heheh...yeah, I did."
And you didn't follow through, so I'm going to do this instead!
"Fine..."
Continuing...
RandomWarriorThatLikesStuff.. What kind of name is that? You like stuff? That's normal for everyone, even cats. I never even knew that twolegs could be so bad! You apparently like the glowing box (TV) and a thing called a 'book'. Twolegs are weird, and every cat knows it.
"I have a cat OC, Jayfeather!"
Oh, right. Ravenclaw from A Raven's Journey. She's over-powered like Lionblaze. She has no character at all. She only cares about her kits, which is basically her clan. She somehow is able to produce twelve cats? Wow, she's like a super mother. And still, the second book doesn't have you OC in it! You only mention, never talk. It's repeating history, and even better. Crowheart was my apprentice in the story, and that isn't even true! I never heard of a Raven and Jay, let alone their kits.
"You know, this hurts. A lot. Who knew my favorite cat ever would do this to me?"
You should have expected it, Random. You should have expected it.
Okay, I hope you enjoyed! I had lots of fun with this one because I added myself in! Author's only write in bold at the start or end, so I decided to use bold in the story because that makes more sense.
So, yeah...my favorite cat is Jayfeather. I love his sharp tongue, his snappy tongue, his 'caring' tongue...and basically everything about him, especially the fact that he's Leafpool's and Crowfeather's kit. Do you have any idea how much I ship those two, even after all that's happened?
Well, ~Caio, my friends. See you next time!
RandomWarrior
