Without You-Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. Any lines that I'm using from season 2, I'm just borrowing. These lines will be italicized. They are strictly for memory purposes.

Author's Notes: I'm taking some creative license on the timeline. Please refer to the timeline at the end of chapter one. I'm pretty sure on the show Tom gave up his quarters for Jeffrey, but all the ships I've toured (that are now museums) have admiral quarters, so I can't see why the James wouldn't have that. For the purpose of this fiction, Jeffrey is staying in such quarters and Tom is still in the Captain's.

I'm one of those writers who has a playlist going, I've titled it "creative". Every song, in some way gets my creative juices flowing. I wanted to share the songs I listened too while writing this chapter. I've seen other writers do this and I have been introduced to some amazing songs, by artists I'd never heard of, thanks to their lists. Enjoy!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter one!


I'm just a shell of myself

And I've never felt so empty

Everything's spinning out of control

And I can't breathe

Oh, heaven knows I need this

Oh, wake me up I'm dreaming

Losing it all in the blink of eye

I'm not ready to say goodbye

I'm not ready to say goodbye

-Not Ready to Say Goodbye by Leah Nobel


Rachel's jolted awake. She looks around and realizes she is once again on the Nathan James, this time though instead of wearing her black lace dress she is in her typical jeans and t-shirt combo.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" she mumbles to herself.

She looks over to her laptop. She sees that it is in power-saver mode and quickly moves the mouse. All her notes, research about the virus pop up. She immediately recognizes the work. She looks down at the far right corner of the screen.

7:53 AM

2/10/2015

Tex's last words to her begin to make sense. Rachel jumps from her chair and bolts out of the helo bay. She begins running down the familiar p-ways to where she knows she'll find Tom.

She makes it to the Wardroom in record time. She quickly enters to see that Tom is sitting at the table having a conversation with Mike and President Michener.

"Tom" Rachel says her voice a mixture of emotions. Shock, happiness, confusion all come out in that one word and are written all over her face.

The three men look over, somewhat surprised at the informal way Rachel just addressed Tom in front of Mike and Jeffrey. They each take in her state and realize that something is amiss.

"Rachel? Is everything okay?" Tom asks.

"No, it's not. I really need to speak to you. In private."

"We were just finishing up." Mike replies as he and Jeffrey stand.

Rachel looks around the room and closes her eyes briefly as memories bombard her.

"God damn it Rachel!"

"I was hoping to avoid getting blood on your hands."

"I already have blood on my hands, you put it there."

"Is this really what you want?"

"This has never been about what I want."

"No… Tom, not here. I just I can't. Not after last time...the anger...the things you said to me." Rachel says.

Tom exchanges a confused look with Mike, who shrugs his shoulders. Tom stands and walks over to Rachel.

"That's fine. We'll talk in my quarters."

Tom opens the door and Rachel follows him out of the Wardroom. They walk quietly to Tom's quarters. Tom opens the door and allows her to enter.

He had barely closed the door when Rachel started speaking.

"I don't know what the bloody hell is going on Tom, I don't. All I know is that I'm here and Tex said to follow my heart not my head this time. I didn't understand what he meant until now."

"Rachel, what are you talking about?"

"I did it Tom." Rachel said as she began pacing the room, "I killed Niels. I had to keep flirting with him just for him to tell me how he stabilized the virus. All I kept thinking is this man killed millions...and he arrogantly thought his DNA would somehow save the world." Rachel paused for a second, allowing the tears to start falling down her cheeks.

"I figured out a way...to splice the virus from his DNA. By doing this I was able to make the cure airborne. I don't regret doing it..I didn't regret doing it last time, but I lied last time. I lied to you...I lied to everyone. I insisted it was a reaction to the gunshot wound.

"I know this is what Tex was talking about. He said things were happening... he also told me not to live in regret...I should have just told you. I shouldn't have lied. I thought I could protect you, protect you from what I had done. But instead I…I ruined everything….every ounce of trust I earned from you I lost in a second." Rachel said emphasizing the last word with a snap of her fingers.

"Everything is so complicated. You're here and now I'm here...and….all I can think about are those last few days. You limiting my contact with the crew and giving me a security detail. Finding Valkyrie, defeating the sub, your shrapnel wound.

"When you came back from the oil rig...watching you collapse...I was terrified. Then I had to operate to get the shrapnel out of you, I was thinking "Tom is going to die on my table still angry at me". Thank god you didn't, but then you sent me off the ship to deal with the sub and Tex swore to me we would talk and we didn't. The night of Jeffrey's inauguration, I walked away and I shouldn't have. I should have told you how I felt about you, how I feel about you." Rachel paused for a split second before continuing. "but then everything went to hell...and now here I am…in my past and now I know why. I was given a second chance...to fix this." Rachel finished as she gestured to her and Tom.

Tom stood staring at her. Confusion and anger coursing through his veins. Anger that Rachel had done something so completely unethical, killing Niels, but confused as hell with her discussing things that had never happened. She had never operated on him to remove shrapnel nor had they figured out who was in charge of the Valkyrie network, let alone where they were. Hell, they were still playing cat and mouse with the sub, so he had yet to send her, or anyone else for that matter, off the ship for their protection.

Tom watched as Rachel continued to cry. He had never seen her this...upset...before. He knew he needed to speak to her, about everything she had just confessed, but he also knew they wouldn't be able too while she was this upset.

Putting his anger aside, he stepped forward and pulled her tiny frame to his. This kindness only caused her to cry harder. Tom guided them over to his couch and sat them down. He began rubbing her back, hoping the gesture would calm her.

He wasn't sure how long they remained that way. Rachel's crying eventually ceased. He looked down and realized that she had cried herself to sleep. He stood, carrying her to his bed. He laid her gently down on the bed and removed her shoes. He pulled a blanket over her body and closed the door behind him.

In the sitting room he called up to the bridge and asked Mike to send O'Connor to his quarters. O'Connor arrived moments later.

"Sir"

"Doctor Scott is asleep." Tom said pointing to his room. "When she wakes, call up to the bridge."

O'Connor nodded, a bit confused as to why Doctor Scott was asleep in the captain's quarters, but he knew better than to ask. He also knew better than to spread rumors.

"Yes sir"


Tom left and headed straight up to the bridge. When he got up there he gestured for Mike to follow him. Mike nodded and left Granderson in charge. Mike followed Tom to the Admiral's quarters, where President Michener was "running the country".

Tom knocked and waited for Jeffrey to allow them entry.

"Tom...Mike." Jeffrey said and gestured for them to take a seat. "Is everything okay with Doctor Scott?"

Tom rubbed his hands over his face.

"Tom, what happened?" Mike asked.

"She did it." Tom answered "Rachel killed Niels. That by killing him she was able to make the cure airborne."

Mike and Jeffrey leaned back in their seats, absorbing what Tom had just told them. Mike looked over to his friend and he could see that Tom had something else on his mind.

"What's going on Tom?" Mike asked.

Tom shook his head, "After Rachel confessed, she began talking about events...events that haven't happened."

"Like what?"

"She stated that this is her past and that Tex told her to follow her heart...to not live with regret. She started talking about how I limited her contact with the crew and assigned her a security detail, how we found Valkyrie and that I sent her off the ship and that she operated on a shrapnel wound that I received from going on a mission to an oil rig."

"What shrapnel wound? What oil rig?" Mike interrupted, confused.

"Exactly! She wasn't making making any sense, other than admitting that she killed him." Tom answered.

The men sat in silence for a few moments before Mike spoke up. "Permission to speak freely?"

Tom and Jeffrey nodded at the same time.

"I know what she did was wrong, but she deserves a fucking medal for killing the man who killed millions, including my son. We will now be able to save more people now that the cure is airborne. I get it...legally she broke the law...but I can't reconcile that she may face prison when she saved the world."

Jeffrey glances over to Tom and see's confliction on his face.

"Tom" Jeffrey said "speak freely."

Tom sighed, "As a husband and a father...I agree with Mike. But as a commander in the Navy and the captain of the Nathan James, I'm not sure I can condone what she has done."

Jeffrey nodded, "Well I guess it's a good thing that it falls on me. Where is Doctor Scott now?"

"She was hysterical. She ended up falling asleep. I have O'Connor with her."

"When she wakes up, I would like to speak to her."

"Yes sir." Mike and Tom said simultaneously. The two men quickly exit the quarters.

"Tom, what else did Rachel say?"

Tom gestured with his head for them to move over to an alcove. Mike nodded and the two men moved out of the p-way to the alcove.

"She spoke about Jeffrey's inauguration. How that evening she and I spoke...how she regretted walking away and not telling me how she felt about me."

Mike wasn't sure how to respond to this revelation. He had a sneaking suspicion that Rachel's feelings for Tom had moved into a more than friends territory, that she was in love with Tom. Tom for his part seemed oblivious to Rachel's feelings.

"I guess the question is, now that you know that Rachel has feelings for you, how do you feel about her?" Mike asked. "You don't need to answer that Tom, but maybe you should think about it. I'm going to head back to the bridge."

Tom watched Mike walk away. He stood in the alcove for a few more minutes to compose himself. He took a deep breath, stepped out of the alcove, turned in the opposite direction and began walking down the p-way only to run into Tex.

"Commodore" Tex said smiling at Tom.

"Tex" Tom acknowledged.

"Rachel talk to you about Niels yet?" Tex asked, which caused Tom to stop and turn.

"Excuse me"

Tex smiled, "Come on, we need to talk."


Soundtrack

Already Gone by Disturbed

I Found by Amber Run

The Reason by Hoobastank

Find Me (feat. Birdy) by Sigma

Everything by Boyce Avenue

Hunger by Ross Copperman

Find Me by Boyce Avenue

Blink by Revive

I'd Come for You by Nickelback

Nothing Makes Sense Anymore by Mike Shinoda

Armor by Landon Austin

I Choose You by Barcelona

Not Ready to Say Goodbye by Leah Nobel

Without You by Ashes Remain

Right Here by Ashes Remain

You Say by Lauren Daigle

Be Alright by Dean Lewis

In This Shirt (Original) by The Irrepressibles

I Get to Love You by Ruelle

Unsteady by X Ambassadors