Akumatized

Chapter Two: Alone

Her dreams were dark that night, and all she could see was her body falling. Maybe that darkness was the Akuma swallowing the light of her life. Maybe it was the uncertainty she faced every hour of every day now. Or maybe it was a promise of an end. Opening her eyes, Marinette stared at the patches of sunlight warming her bedroom ceiling. Her body weak, swaddled in the warmth of her blankets, and almost completely still, the young woman took in a long, heavy breath. "Tikki," she said just above a whisper. The Kwami turned towards her friend, though Marinette's eyes never turned from the patch of sunlight. "…Why didn't the sun come out this morning?"

Pulling his head from his pillow, Adrien picked up his phone and checked his text messages. The most recent notification was from ten minutes ago, sent by Lila, and consisted of the subject line, "You up?" The young man groaned, typed a quick response, and rolled onto his right side.

"Adrien, you look like crap," Plagg declared as he floated above his partner's bed. As usual, the black cat Kwami's tone was blunt and plain. "You're not sleeping well, are you?"

"No," Adrien answered as he threw off his sheet and sat up. The blonde's bare chest tightened in the mild chill of the morning, but the true unease came from within. "I can't stop thinking about Ladybug. She says she's okay, but she's torn up. I wish there was something I could do."

Letting out a groan, Plagg firmly shook his head. "There's nothing you can do, kid," he declared. "If she says she's okay, there's not much you can say or do. All you can do is be there for her. Just…just let it go for now." Adrien sighed, knowing his friend was right. "Why don't you go wash your face or something? Then, you can give me breakfast."

"Saw that coming," the blond young man rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Plagg."

Marinette held her books tightly to her chest as she made her way down the hallway. Her eyes fixed on the floor, she failed to notice the presence of her friends as she passed them by. Suddenly, she felt a firm hand grab her shoulder. "What the hell, girl?" Alya's voice cried out before Marinette could turn around. "I called you three times last night. Why didn't you answer?" Lady Wi-Fi.

"Sorry, Alya," the dark-haired girl answered, her tone genuine. "It wasn't a good night last night. I went to bed really early. What's up?"

"I've been worried about you," the red-haired young woman sharply replied. "Look, I know you're upset about Adrien and Lila, but can't we talk about it? You've been blowing everybody off, you're not talking to anyone, you're always showing up to class late. I don't know what's going on with you."

Marinette began to clench her books as a surge of anger began to well up inside of her. "Alya, I'm fine," she insisted, struggling to hold back her emotions. "Let's get to class." Alya stayed back a second as her friend continued on her way. Despite Marinette's words, her sorrow and lies were clear. Others had come to notice as well, though they lacked the courage or the words to speak.

Once inside Ms. Bustier's classroom, Marinette and Alya sat next to one another, though the dark-haired girl said nothing and focused on her textbook. Soon after, Adrien walked in and took his usual spot, followed by Nino. Bubbler. It didn't take long for Nino and Alya to strike up a conversation, and before Marinette could inspire herself to call out to Adrien, Lila entered the room and warmly embraced him. Volpina. Now more than ever, Marinette felt how alone she had become.

Class began after what felt like an eternity, and a warm silence filled the room while Ms. Bustier spoke. As time gracefully passed by, the sun hid itself behind rainclouds that darkened the sky and foretold the coming of a storm. They're all my friends, and I couldn't save them, Marinette chastised herself, feeling hot tears welling up in her eyes. All the while, she kept her face buried in her book. I couldn't stop Hawk Moth from taking them. I brought them back, but the damage is still there. Some of them even transformed because of me. Maybe that's why I'm alone now.

"Marinette, could you come to the board, please?" the redheaded teacher snapped her pupil out of her trance. "Nobody knows this material like you do."

"Yes, ma'am," Marinette answered, barely able to maintain her happy façade. The young woman quickly wiped her eyes and nose, passing it off as her allergies flaring up, and made her way down the steps. Rose and Juleka watched their suffering friend with concern, knowing there was nothing they could do for now.

Without warning, a sudden rush of emotions and a growing sense of dread washed over Marinette like a fever, causing her to stumble and grab onto Sabrina and Chloé's desk just to support herself. The entire class seemed to jump slightly, though Chloé pretended not to notice.

"Mari!" Alya cried out, though her body was frozen. Adrien found himself paralyzed as well, his eyes locked onto his friend.

"Marinette, are you alright?" Ms. Bustier called to her student as she rushed to her side and supported her.

"Yeah, I just…" Marinette gathered herself. "Just lost my balance for a second. Thanks, Ms. Bustier. I'm fine now."

"Though your Miraculous shields your identity from me, Ladybug," Hawk Moth's demonic voice declared like a whisper. "You cannot hide your emotions, nor can you run from the snares of sorrow. You will be mine soon." The beast smiled as his Akuma began to frenzy around him, each of them hungry for the one they had come to fear so greatly.

Come lunch hour, Marinette chose to sit outside at an empty table, trying to gather her thoughts. Tikki's attempts to bring her friend to her friends were in vain. "Marinette, you're not okay," the Kwami whispered. "You've been spending too much time alone, and you're lashing out at Alya or anyone else who tries to help you. Please, just tell her what's happening. You can trust her."

"Tikki, it's not going to change anything," Marinette argued as she forced herself to eat some of her lunch. "Even if Adrien and Lila weren't a thing, it's not like Alya can do or say something to make me a better hero." A terrible silence fell over the two for a moment, until Marinette swallowed the growing lump in her throat and finally said what had been burning in her mind. "Tikki…When I turn into Ladybug, why don't you just take over? You're better than I am… I can't be what the city needs me to be. I'm no good to anybody."

"Marinette," Tikki bitterly sobbed, her little heart breaking. "Don't say that. Ladybug is a hero because of you, not me. You've done everything for Paris. Don't beat yourself up. You might not be able to stop those around you from being akumatized, but you always change them back, and you stand by their side after they go back to normal." Marinette felt her heart lighten a little, though her thoughts remained rampant and uneasy.

"Hey, Marinette," Adrien called out as he and Alya sat down beside their friend. "Do you mind if we sit here?"

"Um, sure," Marinette answered with a false smile. Tikki smiled as she closed her eyes and allowed the others to help their friend. "Sorry about earlier, Alya."

"Don't worry about it, girl," Alya warmly replied. "I'm more worried about what happened to you in class this morning. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing better now," the dark-haired young woman answered. "I think I was just tired and low on sugar."

"But, why are you keeping to yourself so much?" Adrien carefully asked. "That's really not like you. Is everything okay?"

As her heart screamed for its host to release the truth that burned within, Marinette felt her fear and pain wash over her like a freezing wave. He won't understand. He'll think I'm jealous. He won't want to talk to me anymore. Lila will make him happier than I could, she declared to herself, making her heart sink into a cold, dark place. It must have been within that instant that the Akuma settled itself into the friendship bracelet she and Alya had exchanged. As the dark spirit laid itself down and merged with the small trinket around the girl's left wrist, Marinette felt a sharp chill rise up her spine before her body settled into an awful, comforting warmth. Letting out a gasp, followed by a sigh of deep relief, the young woman looked her friends in the face. "Alya, Adrien," she finally spoke up, her voice free of doubt. "I need to be alone." Marinette stood up, grabbed her purse, and turned away from the others before walking off.

"Marinette, wait," Alya pleaded with her hand outstretched. Adrien stood up as well, not knowing what to do.

"Stay the hell away from me!" Marinette furiously cried out as hot tears streamed from her burning eyes and down her nearly raw cheeks. Her friends froze in their steps, and the dark-haired young woman stormed off without looking back.

"Mari, come back!" Alya called as her friend walked off campus grounds.

Marinette and Ladybug, Adrien lamented to himself. I'm so useless. Before the seductive lure of despair could overtake him, the young man remembered his mother and Plagg. No, that's not true. I'll find a way to help them. It's never hopeless. "Alya, can you cover for Marinette and I for a few minutes?" he finally spoke up. "You know I'm no good at this sort of thing." After catching her breath and gathering her thoughts, Alya smiled and nodded, allowing Adrien to chase after his friend.

"How true," Alya gleamed to herself. "I'd normally go after her myself, but he does suck at cover-stories. What's the point of all of us getting busted?"

"Marinette, please wait," Adrien called to his suffering friend as he chased after her. "Please, we can talk this out."

"Don't you get it?" Marinette hollered back as her cheeks grew as red as blood and her eyes continued to flow with hot tears. "There's nothing you can do! Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone like you always do!"

Adrien immediately stopped and watched as the young woman ran away. "Marinette, I'm sorry!" the young man cried out to deaf ears. "She's right, Plagg," he then whispered in shame. "I haven't bothered with her in so long."

"But she never said anything," Plagg replied, though his tone lacked its natural confidence. "Adrien, you didn't know."

"It's not that I didn't know," the blond-haired young man declared. "It's that I didn't care. I had my head up my ass, and my friend's the one paying for it. There might not be anything Adrien Agreste can do, but maybe she'll listen to Chat Noir."

"Just don't forget that those two are one and the same," the black cat Kwami assured his partner. "Let's hope Alya has a good cover story worked up."

As the darkened clouds began to rumble and quake, lonely drops of cold rain began to fall to the earth. Marinette charged into the city with all her might, all the while shedding tears of profound rage and sorrow. Not even the rain could hide her anguish. Everyone's abandoned me, she cried out in her unhappy mind. Nobody cares about anything but themselves. Finally, the young woman made her way into a dark alley far enough from anyone wandering the streets. Marinette drove her fist into the brick wall in front of her, leaving a small fracture in its surface and driving her to turn away and drop into a seated position against its surface to catch her breath. The young woman then began wailing at the top of her lungs as her tears flowed down her soaked face.

"Marinette, you have to stop this!" Tikki cried out as she floated in front of her friend. "There's something wrong."

"If I'm so broken, Tikki, why don't you just go away like everyone else?" Marinette chokingly lashed out with darkened, bloodshot eyes. "Just say it!" Her moment of strength faded, the suffering girl's voice shattered into a fit of gasping squeaks. "Say you don't love me anymore and abandon me."

"Marinette!" Tikki sobbed as tears began to well up in her eyes and her little heart began to ache. "Please, you're in pain. I think Hawk Moth is trying to get to you." Marinette gazed into her Kwami's eyes, her face no longer filled with anger, but rampant with pain and childlike vulnerability. "You know I love you more than anyone in the whole wide world, Marinette. Please, don't let him akumatized you. You have to face your anger and sadness before they swallow you up."

Marinette tightened her face into a sorrowful smile as her tears continued to fall. "…It's inside me, Tikki," she choked out between tearful gasps. "I can feel it like razor blades swimming through my veins. I'm sorry I lashed out at you, at Alya…at Adrien." Closing her eyes, the young woman buried her face in her crossed arms and wept bitterly. Suddenly, Tikki vanished inside her friend's bag.

"Marinette, right?" a gentle, familiar voice spoke up above the pouring rain. The young woman looked up with hope in her eyes, not noticing a clawed black glove reaching out to take her hand. "I heard you were struggling with something. You've helped me before, so I'm here to help you."

"Adrien, my love?" Marinette joyously gasped, her forehead hot and her thoughts feverish. "Thank God it's you." Closing her eyes again, the young woman threw her arms around the boy she loved, leaving the Miraculous uneasy.

She doesn't know. "…Yeah, Marinette," Chat finally answered, placing his hand on his friend's upper back. "It's me. I'm here to take you home, okay?"

"Adrien, I'm so sorry," the dark-haired girl exclaimed as Chat carefully scooped her up in his arms and lifted her off the ground. Her arms rested around the boy's neck as he supported her upper back and under her knees. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you and Alya. Please…I'm sick. The Akuma… So sorry."

"It's going to be alright, Marinette," Chat quietly began to sob. "You're safe now." Oh, Marinette, how'd it ever get this bad?he asked himself. "Alya understands. Come on, let's get you home." Marinette smiled and allowed herself to drift off to sleep.