He awoke with a startlingly loud explosion, and his view was blurry. A massive colt in official E.P.F uniform extended his hoof to him. "Whew, am I glad you're
alive!" he exclaimed as streams of smoke billowed over their heads. "We got dogs on our six, and they're mean!" Spike sat up to examine his surroundings.
He was no longer in Twilight's home on pillows. He was in a ruined citadel, full of ponies and colts that looked fearfully to the South as a horde of diamond
dogs clawed at their outpost. "Spike, you're gonna need a helmet!" said the colt. Spike slapped away the helmet. "Heroes don't wear helmets." Spike said
dryly. He stood up and turned his head a few degrees, picked up a pair of sunglasses on the ruined cobblestone ground. He placed them over his eyes and
cracked his knuckles. "Ironsights, get everyone away from the outpost. I got a fight to finish." Spike said. The massive pony looked at Spike as if his head
were on fire. "Hundreds of dogs…by YOURSELF?" Ironsights proclaimed. Spike grabbed Ironsights by the ballistic vest and dragged him closer to Spike's
unimpressed face. "I'm the hero, remember?" Not waiting for an answer, Spike pushed off of Ironsights and dashed towards the outpost, hearing words of
encouragement from retreating colts above the pounding of war. "You the man, Spike!" "Make them pay, man!" "Guys, he's going in! We're saved!" Spike
hopped a pile of sandbags, the only thing separating him from the brutes below. Life seemed to slow for a moment, as Spike looked down at much more
diamond dogs than he expected. He smiled, knowing he'd enjoy this. He targeted a dog weakly hammering away at a façade, and lunged toward him, taking
him down instantly. The dogs' attention slipped from the wall and turned to Spike. Through his shades, the dogs looked more furious than ever, and uglier to
boot. Spike cocked his fists, his God-given weapons. "I got a letter from Applejack saying I always win. She's the Element of Honesty." He pounded his fists.
"Who's first?" Twenty dogs raced towards him, and Spike's slow-motion sensation kicked in again. In a flash, Spike kicked a diamond dog in the stomach and
used his own torque to his advantage. Spike flipped the dog in air and punched the dog back at the mobs of dogs coming for him, knocking each one out
with its massive body. "Sorry, fellas, I thought I had him," the dog whimpered. One of the dogs in the pile weakly slapped the dog. "You IDIOT! You were
supposed to get behind him!" Spike turned in time to see two more dogs lunging for him. Spike got to his knees and doubled over, and saw the dogs fly over
him and crash into the pile of wounded dogs. "General, should we run?" a dog suggested. The General looked at him with relief. "Golly I was hoping you'd
say that! I mean, uh…dogs! Evasive maneuver number twelve! Code Spike!" In a wild rush, all the diamond dogs scurried away from the outpost over the
bridge that separated the two lands. All but the pile of wounded dogs, that is. Spike swaggered over to the stack of dogs. Spike pulled out an orange gem,
23-karot. "You want of these?" he genuinely asked. One of the conscious dogs weakly nodded and smiled. Spike broke the gem over its head. "In your
sweet dreams, cupcake." Loud applause erupted from the outpost. The E.D.F rushed out to lift him up and they began to sing. "For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fell-oooooooow! 'cause nobody can beat Spike!" They dropped off Spike at Ironsights feet. "Fantastic work as
usual, kid! And you're certain you don't want to join the Equestrian Defense Force?" Spike shook his head. "Well, I guess the first time I asked was your final
answer." Ironsights chuckled, but his laughter was ruined by an E.D.F recon colt with a worried expression. "Commander Ironsights, sir! The diamond dogs
have constructed a giant robot…I don't know what they plan to do with it, but it's big. We're talking mountain big!" Ironsights was thrown off by the last
comment. "Can your reconnaissance buddy Vector-Bravo confirm this, Foxtrot?" "He's there now, commander sir! He still can't believe it!" Ironsights and
Foxtrot turned to speak with their hero. "Spike, does this sound like something you can do?" Spike scoffed at the idea. "Too easy." An E.D.F officer behind
him laughed. "Great to know you're with us, kid!" Ironsights exclaimed. Foxtrot retrieved a notepad from his vest pocket. "Oh, and one note here. They have
Spike's girlfriend, Rarity." Spike's egotistical demeanor was quickly deflated. Ironsights looked at the ground and lightly kicked the pebbles under him. "Aw,
that's terrible." He chortled, "Nothing this guy can't fix! Right, Spike? Spike?" But it was too late. Spike was dashing towards the bridge infuriated. "Get back
here, you jerks!" he yelled to the mob of diamond dogs still on the run.
