Author's notes: Okay, so this is the actual story from the summary. I hope you like it! Though I must apologise that it isn't Christmas-themed, sorry :-( I'm not good at writing holiday stories.

So anyway, after last time's T-rated upload, I'm back with a new K-rated fanfic, and what better comic to base it off than Buckles! I only recently came across this comic strip series (I found out about it after it started getting printed in The Metro in November 2011), and I can honestly say that it's brilliant! Seriously, if you haven't read it, check it out, especially if you like the Calvin & Hobbes and Garfield comics, as David Gilbert, the guy who writes the Buckles comics, was influenced by them (he also said he was influenced by Heathcliff and The Family Circus; while I've never read these, I did watch the TV series of Heathcliff so I can see the influence there). I had a look for other Buckles fanfics and I couldn't find any. Such a shame, and a surprise too.

With this fanfic, I started writing it at the end of November. I wasn't inspired by anything; the scenario just came to me the same day. With the quickie (chapter 1), I regret to say that I got the idea after moving the rug from underneath my own dog while playing with him one day recently (don't worry, folks! He didn't suffer any anxiety problems following this).

All characters © David Gilbert except Mrs Steelslash, who is mine.


It was a cloudy afternoon. It would be getting dark in a couple of hours…and it was forecast to rain.

Jill was in the bedroom, taking pieces of jewellery out of a patterned box that was sitting on the drawers in front of the mirror, and trying them out. Buckles came into the room and spotted the box.

"Hey, what are you doing, Jill?" asked Buckles, being the curious dog he is.

"I'm deciding which jewellery I'm going to wear for tonight," Jill answered.

"Tonight?" Buckles asked, confused. "What's happening tonight?"

Jill sighed. "Buckles, you know we're going out later."

"Are we? I didn't know that. You mustn't have told me."

"I did," said Jill. "Maybe if you'd listened to us earlier, you would've remembered about tonight."

As if right on cue, Paul came into the room. "Tonight? What's happening tonight, Jill?"

Jill rolled her eyes. It was at times like this where she felt she was the only living being in the house who had ears and memory.


A moment later (and after Paul had been reminded by Jill about what was happening), the three gathered in the living room.

"So what's happening?" asked Buckles.

"One of our friends has invited us to go to a restaurant tonight with her," said Jill.

"Wow! A restaurant!" Buckles said ecstatically. "I love restaurants! They always make amazing food! And it's a great way to socialise! When do we leave?"

Paul and Jill exchanged glances. "Buckles, only we are going," said Paul.

"Yeah, I know! I'm so excited!" said Buckles.

"So that means Jill and I are going…" Paul said, trying to be more specific.

"And me?" Buckles added.

This was the bit that Paul and Jill didn't like. Buckles had that eager twinkle in his eyes. "…But not you," Paul finished.

Buckles' face fell. "I'm not going?" he asked in dismay. "Why not?"

"It's only for close friends," said Paul. "And besides, dogs aren't allowed in the restaurant."

"But I am a close friend! And how come dogs aren't allowed to go anyplace? It's not fair!"

"Well, humans aren't allowed in dog kennels, are they?" said Jill.

"Hmm…true," Buckles pondered. "But still, it's not fair. Does that mean I have to be left here all alone?"

"There's no way we're leaving you here alone," said Jill. "Remember what happened the last time you were on your own…"

FLASHBACK…

"Buckles, we're back!" Jill called into the house as she and Paul stepped through the front door. They walked into the living room…and met a horrifying sight!

They had arrived to find the couch in tatters! The seat and arms were shredded – by teeth from the look of it – and the cushions were strewn across the floor. Buckles stood nearby innocently.

"Buckles, you bad dog!" Paul shouted. "You've destroyed the couch!"

Buckles shrugged. "Forget the couch! Can I have a tummy rub?"

END FLASHBACK

"…And like I said, that was Scrappy's fault," said Buckles, eyeing the stitched-up couch. "Besides, I don't like being left alone. I don't like being left behind either. It makes me feel like I'm forgotten about."

"We don't like being away from you too," said Jill sympathetically. "We know you get lonely so we've got a dogsitter to come here later."

"But I don't want a dogsitter!" Buckles complained. "I want both of you…but then again," he considered, "I'd rather have some kind of company than none. So who's looking after me while you're out?"

"Most of the local dogsitters were unavailable," Paul explained, "but I did find one. She's called Mrs Steelslash."

Upon hearing this, Buckles' blood ran cold. "D-d-did you say…Mrs Steelslash?"

"Yeah, that's right," Paul replied.

"She sounds nice, doesn't she?" said Jill happily.

"Nice?" Buckles asked in disbelief. "Don't you realise who Mrs Steelslash is?" Paul and Jill shook their heads. Buckles continued. "She's the evillest, cruellest dogsitter in the entire history of the world! I've heard about her: she carries a whip and muzzle around with her all the time! She locks dogs in cages and doesn't give them any food! She even eats dogs! It's true!"

"Where on earth did you hear that?" asked Jill.

"From the most reliable source nearby," said Buckles.

"Well it's too late now," said Paul. "I phoned her yesterday…"

Buckles nearly collapsed. "You phoned her? Even though she has a worse reputation than a sewer rat?"

"Just give her a chance," Jill reasoned. "You've never met her. Neither have we."

"But I know all about her! Trust me; I'll be lucky to make it through tonight in one piece!"


Awhile later, Buckles was outside, shuddering and staring blankly ahead of him. Arden, Buckles' best friend, approached him.

"You don't look very well, Buckles," he remarked.

"I'm not," Buckles replied gloomily. "You'll never guess who's coming round tonight…Mrs Steelslash!"

Arden gasped. "You're kidding?"

"No. I tried telling Paul and Jill, but they wouldn't listen! They've already gone and phoned her, and she'll be here in a couple of hours!"

"They didn't listen? But don't they know what she's been getting up to recently? She's been worse than usual!"

Buckles gulped. "I was hoping she'd have loosened up a little."

"Nah. You'd have better luck loosening rusty nails than seeing her in a good mood."

"What's she been up to this time?" asked Buckles anxiously.

"Well," Arden said frantically, "I heard that she was looking after a dog a few days ago…she locked the dog out the house while it was raining! Then she shaved all the fur off his head while she tore up all of his chew toys! She sounds like a psycho, huh?"

Buckles didn't respond. He just looked up at the grey sky, seemingly even more worried than before.

"It's going to rain soon," said Arden. "It's like the weather even knows she's coming."

"Don't remind me!" Buckles' voice caught in his throat a bit. There was a pause. "Arden," said Buckles, "I think tonight may be my last night alive…and I think this might be our last goodbye."

Arden's eyes widened. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. With Mrs Steelslash coming here, I think the chances of me making it through to when Paul and Jill get back are slim. Before I go, I want you to know that you were the best friend I ever had."

"That's what I was thinking," said Arden. He felt a bit teary. "I've always liked living here, and it's been the more worthwhile with you as a friend."

"I guess this is it." Buckles and Arden shook hands (uh…I mean 'paw and wing'). "So long, old friend."

"Same to you, old friend. And good luck," said Arden.

Buckles walked slowly back into the house. As soon as he stepped in, he halted in his tracks. "Hey, wait a minute…that's not what I meant!" He spun back round, but Arden was gone.

"Great," said Buckles. "Now he's going to think I'm accepting the inevitable! Urgh, I can't believe I said all that! I've got to avoid Mrs Steelslash at all costs! It's at times like this when I wish I could dig a hole and bury myself in it." He buried his face in his paws and groaned. "I'm not looking forward to tonight."


The flashback was another scene I made up. In case you're wondering who Scrappy is, he's the annoying squirrel who lives in the backyard. And in case you didn't guess / read this chapter properly, you'll know that the 'reliable source' Buckles mentioned earlier was Arden – who else would it be?