'Blair, you've got a visitor.'
Blair had had visitors all week. Eleanor and Cyrus had come with Harold and Ramon. Serena had come with Nate following behind. Dan had come all on his own, back to his Lonely Boy status. Even Rufus and Charlie came along with a basket of waffles in hand.
Everyone had come.
Blair sighed and motioned to the nurse to let the visitor in. It was probably her Mom with the newest editions of Vogue and some of her favorite Laduree macaroons as usual.
But it was not her mother. Not Blair's mother.
'Lily,' Blair whispered.
'Oh, Blair! You poor thing…' Lily slowly stepped into the room taking in Blair's appearance – the swollen lips, the bruised eye, the cast around her arm… and the missing bump.
'How are you, my dear?' she queried in a motherly fashion.
'I don't know Lily, I really don't,'
Blair was still shocked at seeing Lily's face. If there was anyone nearly as upset over Chuck as Blair was, it was Lily.
'Well, of course you don't. I'm sure you've had dozens of people ask you that by now. How are you… dealing, with the baby and all?'
'I'm coping,' Blair answered, looking down at her hands, fidgeting. She had been avoiding thinking about the baby all week but it had all just built up behind an invisible barrier and she could just feel her dam about to burst.
'What am I saying? I'm not coping! I'm devastated. Worse, I'm numb. I can't take any of it in. I'm in agony because I feel like I should be feeling worse about it all but I don't! What kind of a mother am I, Lily! Or… well… not a mother, but…'
And then she was crying.
Heavy sobs came from deep within her. Every tear was made up of grief, despair and loneliness.
She missed her baby. She missed Chuck.
No matter how full a room was with people, she would be lonely, until… or if he woke up.
'Oh, Blair,' Lily sat on the edge of her bed and cradled her head. 'It'll all be better soon. I know what it's like to lose a child and I know what it's like to lose the man you love. I understand you. Don't be ashamed of your feelings, you're overwhelmed. You have every reason to be. You lost your baby and now you can't find Charles. He will come back to you Blair. He will. You just have to hold on.'
'You're such a good mother, Lily. I don't know how Serena turned out the way she did.'
'Yes, that is something I still haven't figured out. But what I do know is that you will be OK. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But one day you will be alright.'
'I know Lily, thank you.'
Lily could not help but pity the girl. Her hand subconsciously rested at her abdomen, face paler than the moon – she was tragic.
Her and Charles were the strangest and yet most perfect fit. They both had so many flaws and yet this somehow made them understand each other better and accept each other for who they were. There was no judgment, no explanations needed for what they did, because they knew.
They knew each other. They were like an old couple who had been together for 50 years and could read each other like a book.
They were meant to me.
