I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
CHAPTER 1.
I'm sorry, brother...
It was warm quiet summer evening. Fresh ocean wind was softly smoothing shore, sun was going down, skies were golden. Steve and Danny were sitting quietly in old wooden chairs on the beach at Steve's place. Steve's eyes were observing the ocean. They were filled with something huge that was pressuring his soul, something Danny never saw before.
"What's wrong, babe?" Danny handed another bottle of beer to him.
"Hey... you there?" he jogged to Steve's shoulder when he realized no answer is coming.
"What?... Uh sorry..." He grabbed that bottle and opened it quickly, looked like disturbed from another world...
"Okey .. what is happening Steven?"
"Nothing... "Steve looked back with misunderstanding face.
"Again...Would it kill you if you were once... just once honest with me about your feelings?"
Danny saw sad look on his face. He knew speaking about feelings is not one of Steve's strongest sides, but... it was making him crazy... all the time...
"sorry Danno..." Steve added sad smile and continued:
"you know... 8 years today... since Freddie... since I left him there.." Steve took a sip. His eyes stucked somewhere far away in the horizon. Danny wasn't sure what to say. This was hardest thing to talk about with Steve. They didn't talk much about what happened, Danny knew he never wanted to. He wanted to deal with it on his own... But now... maybe he realized it's never going away... it's not gonna get better. Maybe he is ready to get used to it, but finally with someone's help.
"You wanna talk 'bout it?... because I would be glad if you...just.. tell me"
"Not at all.."
"Steve... c'mon.." He didn't make a move. Still starring away with frozen face and shallow breathing, just squeezing a bottle of beer in his hands. Danny breathed out sadly thinking about next step to make him talk. And then, after while, Steve looked at him deeply.
"... Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'll go get some pizza.. you wanna piece?" Steve turned back. Than he stood up.
"Yup"
"Okey.. I'll be right back.."
Danny was curious. He wanted to know what made Steve acting like that. He never seen him like this before. Not even in the hardest times. Not even near death, not in dangerous situations. ..never. Thinking about life... it wasn't righteous to him so far...so much pain he suffered... he has full right to be broken... but is he?
"Here you are."
"Thanx.. What about now?"
"What?"
"Talking.."
"uh.. I don't think so... nothing to say.."
"Just start from the beggining ... tell me something about him.."
Steve was looking at him. Than he turned around to sea once again. His eyes looking not as childish searching for first star as usually.
"He didn't deserve to die... that's all.."
"Hey.. tell me realistically, what possible choices did you have back than?!"
"Not to take him with me to that op, not to let him die there, just.. not to leave him Danny.."
"There was no other way and you know it..."
"Leave no man behind... "
"You both could have died there, you did the right thing, you acomplished your mission, if you would went back for him you would be dead too by now."
"You don't know that... I'm sorry Danny I'm tired...I'll go to bed.. long day in front of us.."
"Steve.."
"Good night Danny..." He walked away "I love you" just echoed from behind.
"Love you too, sweet dreams, babe!" He didn't even wait for for first star.
Danny left alone sitting in backyard, watching smooth waves and last sun rays flickering on them. He hoped he could find a way how to ease the Steve's pain. He hoped that tomorrow will be better.
"Guess it's time to go home.."
Next day was Danny walking to his office. Even when sun was high and wind was softly blowing, he was exhausted. First thing he was gonna do was to grab a cup of coffee and some malasadas. Another day of paperwork.
"Mornin guys..."
"Good morning Danny!" Tani answered.
He entered his office and noticed something on his table. When he realized what it is, his breath froze and his mind consumed panic. He grabbed white envelope. Danno. He couldn't believe it's happening again. Steve did it AGAIN. What the hell he think he is doing? Panic replaced anger. Danny opened it quickly and started to read.
Hey partner!
I'm sorry. I had to do it again. I wish I could tell you this in person, but circumstances are against me. I will be out of the island for a while. Don't worry about me. I can't tell you why, and I know you are very angry right now, but trust me, I am very sorry, brother.
Look after my team while I'm gone. Governor knows.
Take care of yourselves,
Steve.
PS: Sorry for yesterday.
Danny was irritated. Thousands of thoughts ran trough his mind. It was bad idea but he had to try. He picked up the phone and called him.
McGarrett, leave a message please.
Danny smacked phone on the table and angry walked out of the office. There was only one way how to figure this out. Governor.
"Hey man, what happened? " Lou noticed his unusually high temper.
"He is gone... again..."
"What? Who? What do you mean?" Tani joined conversation.
"That animal... neanderthal son of the..." Danny shouted walking away and leaving them in shock.
They looked at each other and spoke in same moment.
"McGarrett" Lou ran out to catch Danny.
"Hey Danny, where are you going? Wait... Daniel!"
"On my table." Danny shouted back and sat into the car.
Lou runned back to the office. Tani was standing there with asking face. Lou pointed at Danny's office. They found a letter and started to read.
"What does that mean?" Lou was confused.
"I'm not sure... but Danny once told me about Steve's trip to Japan... he mentioned something about Steve leaving a letter... he went looking for some WoFat guy."
"Oh man... that's not good...but WoFat is dead."
"Is he?" Tani was confused too... she didn't know much about that wierd man called Wo Fat.
"He is... don't you know?" Tani just kept looking at him.
"You work with McGarrett and you've never heard about that son of the bitch?"
"Nope"
"Oh girl...How is that possible?" Jerry joined them, he couldn't believe. "He kidnapped McGarret.. twice.." Jerry looked like he is going to start a story about his favorite superhero and his biggest enemy. Little fires in his eyes.
"Wait a minute... is that even possible?"
"I was surprised too.." Lou noted.
"What happened?" she was interested.
"Well.. it's very long history... First time he went to North Korea with Jenna Kaye to trade money for her fiance who was captured. But she betryed him and gave them Steve instead of money. Short story- Wo Fat took him to some bunker, he wanted to know about Shelburne. Things went wrong and Wo Fat shot Jenna in front of Steve.. Danny, Kono, Chin and Joe with SEAL team 5 went to rescue him... Steve was mess "
"Shelburne?"
"Thats the -long history- part..." Lou again noted forhimself.
"Right..." Confirmation from Jerry made Tani to go on..
"Oh God... and ...and second time?" Jerry and Lou looked a each other. Lou continued this time.
"It was 3 years ago... he took him by his way to work. We found his car and a lot of blood. It was long day.. Thanks to Adam we found Steve in an old basement lying on the floor half dead. This time Wo Fat wanted to know where his father is being held... WoFat had no walls.. They drugged, waterboarded and electrocuted him ... fortunately, Steve managed to kill him even in that condition... finally.."
"I don't understand.. why.. why Steve... what does he has to do with him?"
"And here we are back in -long history- part... When Steve was a kid his mum died in car explosion... but it was just a cover..it was her... Shelburne... she was a spy, pretended being dead for years.. because she should've kill Wo Fat's father... but unfortunately his mother died instead in that op... She decided to take care of little Wo Fat herself...but when her superiors discovered it, she had to abandon him... What a mad wierdo grew up from him...For some reason he blamed Steve for everything and turned his life into living hell."
"Jeez... What a story... I had no idea... a spy mum? a kidnapping?"
"yes.. our boss is a badass..."
"And what about that Japan trip?"
"uh he left a letter on Danny's table and disappeared for couple of days.. went looking for Mr. Evil ... his plane was almost shot down ... almost died again... why are we talking about this by the way?"
"Because he did it again." Tani and Lou said at the same time.
"Did what again?" Jerry stood in front of them surprised.
"Left a letter.."
Danny entered governor's office. All the feelings were raining in his body. He needed answers and he needed it now.
"Detective Williams." He was surprised.
"Governor, please, when was the last time McGarrett spoke to you?" Danny squeezed seatback of chair in fron of him. Not going to sit down.
"Yesterday morning, why? Is everything allright?"
"What did he tell you?" Danny urged on him.
"Excuse me?"
"He told you something about being gone for some time?"
"Detective please, sit down and tell me what is going on and why are you investigating me."
"He left me a message he will be out of the island for a while and he also told that you know about it... I just want to know where he is, sir."
"I don't understand why are you dramatizing it.. He took a couple days off... I'm not asking where is he going to spend them.. I'm not his mother, detective..."
"Last time he did this, he went to Japan chasing WoFat and almost got killed. With all due respect, I'm not dramatizing it, sir. I just can't let it go. I know my man..."
"Calm down detective. He knows what he is doing. He is a grown man. And if he didn't tell you, he probably had a reason. Just focus on your work while he is out."
"Yes sir." Danny left with boilng anger. His only lead was gone by second. There was nothing to help him. He had to find another way and he wasn't happy about it.
"So? What did he tell you?" Everybody turned to Danny when waiting for answer for Lou's question.
"Absolutelly nothing... Steve spoke to him yesterday morning.. he took a few days off.. that's all..."
"That's all?"
"oh... he also said the Steven McGarrett is a grown man and he can take care of himslef... he has no idea what is that shmuck capable of.."
"Maybe it's nothin.. we are freaking out for no reason.." Tani said softly.
"No... I know him... I just know him too well.. We have to find something." Danny leaned on the table. His eyes were glazed. Not longer angry... they were worried. Steve was sensitive yesterday. What made him to leave? Maybe it has something to do with Freddie? But revenge for his death Steve did long ago. Or maybe Navy? Did they deployed him again? It would be hell of a coincidence. Danny felt like drowning in the ocean of options and scenarios. He hated so much when he was out of knowing. Steve was just gone. Nothing left there, only that stupid letter with no explanation. Steve was somewhere out there, doing something stupid and dangerous as usual. Only God knows what kind of trouble he is in.
"I will call Junior.. he should know something..."
"That's kind of idea I wanted to hear." Danny said quietly with bit of hope. His hands were squeezing corners of table. Eyes observing all around for some another leads... whatever that could help them...
Sun was hidden in grey clouds.. within 2 hours everything changed from sunny morning to silence before storm. Wind fastened and air smelled by rain... Everything was quiet and dark..
"Hey... Detective, where is McGarret please?" Junior joined them right when Tani picked her phone out to call him.
"You are right in time J..." Tani smiled and pulled her phone back to pocket.
"Great!... so.. have you seen him somebody? He is not picking up my phone.. I can't find switch box... electricity is down cos of that weather" He still stood in door leaning inside.
"We were about to ask you the same question... where did he go?"
"What are you talking about sir?"
"This was on my table this morning.." Danny handed him the letter. Junior was obviously surprised as same as everybody else.
"Uhm.. I don't understand..."
"Do you have any idea what is going on?"
"... no.. I...everything was as usual this morning... I think.. every day we wake up at 4:30, go for a run and sometimes for a swim... This morning I decided to go swimming too, but he told me he is not going with me... he needed to go to work sooner today.. that's all... he just left... And now I'm trying to talk to him for like 2 hours but he is not picking up..."
Danny closed his eyes in deprresion, took a deep breath. Then looked out of the window on cloudy sky. Palms were dancing in wind and waterdrops. Lighting above the sea was drawing scratches on the sky. He felt thunders in his bones. He didn't know what to do.. he no idea what was about to come..
TBC
MAHALO for your time, please leave a review and have a nice day! Next chapter coming really soon!
