First thanks to everyone who read and review my story. No one ever reads my stuff so it means so much to me that you all took the time. So here is the next chapter I hope you all enjoy it.
Oh and as for Bella and Edward all I can tell you is that at least one of the Cullens will become involved in this story, but it won't necessarily be Edward.
Chapter 3 Confrontations
Last time: "Jacob." I said through my tears. I was sobbing now and the word was hardly comprehensible. His anger flicked and faded replaced by concern. He let go of my face and embraced me. "Bella. I missed you so much…why did you do that? How could you?" He was whispering. The pain in his voice made me cry harder. I clung to him.
Time seemed to stand still in the sunny kitchen as I stood with face buried in Jacob's shirt. I took in his smell, a natural sort of smell something like pine or cinnamon. It was the scent of fresh mountain air, and at the same time something totally unique to Jacob. He had been stroking my hair, but now he stopped. Hesitantly he lay a kiss on my head then pulled away.
I let him, but kept my face down. I heard him sigh, but without his face to go by I couldn't tell if it was a sigh of impatience, or sadness.
"Bella" He started. He paused for a moment and I looked up at him. Anger had come back into his eyes but it was subdued now.
"I asked you a question. You said yourself, you owe me at least that much."
As I said before, having a conversation about how I cheated on him to get drugs was not something I wanted to do…but if he really wanted to I owed it to him. I owed it to him to look into his eyes and tell him the truth. Tell him that yes, I was fucking him and Connor at the same time. Easier thought than said.
I looked away for a minuet before I could make myself meet his eyes. "Yes" I whispered "I was with him while we were together." No blush stained my cheeks. I hoped my eyes showed him how very ashamed and sorry I was.
He nodded and the look on his face said that I had just confirmed what he had already known…and that he was not finished with this conversation. It said that he was going to make this conversation as painful for me as he could, and that there was hope, if I had this conversation, that we could be friends. Perhaps better friends than before because this time he knew that I was truly broken. I had promised and I would let him have this, but all I could think was run.
Jacob sat down in the chair Charlie had just vacated. His eyes never left mine as he gestured to the chair across from him. Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I took the seat.
He didn't say anything for awhile and I had started fidgeting before I realized what I was doing and stopped myself. "Jacob. If we are going to talk some more you need to tell me what you want to know. I haven't a clue where to start and quite frankly if this is up to me, we aren't going to do this." I admit it. Despite knowing that I owed him this and that I had wronged him no the other way around, I was getting angry. Anger had become a very dominate part of my nature in the last year. It was the only way I could protect myself. That and the fact that I was tired of being treated like someone's property or having someone think they could just take what they wanted and leave me. In a way my anger was my way of letting the world know that I valued myself.
And that is one of the main ways I have changed. Or tried to. I no longer think over and over that I am not worthy. Because I am…or I have been telling myself so anyways hoping it will stick somehow.
Jacob took his queue from me and brought a slightly hostile and defensive note into his voice. His eyes hardened just the tiniest bit.
"Fine." He stopped there. My irritation grew. I began tapping my foot. Jacob ignored that and took his time.
"Why didn't you say goodbye?" I probably should have seen that one coming, but…I didn't. My face flushed and I turned away letting my hair fall in a curtain blocking my face from him.
"I already told you." Sighing I repeated myself talking about the deal with Connor.
"No. That's why you left." Jacob leaned forward so he was right up in my face. I could feel his hot breath on my face, it would have been incredible intimate if he hadn't been spitting his words with such venom. "Why didn't you say goodbye? You've said you left to go whore yourself out. But you could have said goodbye. We all thought you were dead! We checked the woods for weeks. Do you know what that would do to Charlie? Did you even CARE?" I'd known what this would do to Charlie, but I couldn't tell him where I was going…I just couldn't. But my temper was stopped any words which might have calmed this situation back down.
"What the hell! Was I suppose to go up to you and say 'Later Jake. I'm gonna go live with another guy'? It was better that you all thought I was dead!"
"Better? You can't possible…BETTER? The only person it was better for was you! Just admit that you left because you were such a fucking cowardly bitch that you couldn't face telling anyone!" I got up for the table and leaned against a counter arms crossed.
"Fine" I said. My eyes were alight with furry to match Jacob's, but I kept my voice low and empty of emotions. "Anything else?"
He didn't answer. Instead he stood shaking his head and left. I half collapsed against the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. So that didn't go well, but at least Jacob was no longer in my kitchen. I could breath again. And next time I saw him…maybe I could avoid him? No I couldn't. I needed to face the music so to speak, then I could move on. Nothing to do about Jacob Black right now. I crossed the kitchen and picked up my bag and started to drag it upstairs.
