Ok, for the benefit of anyone reading, I'm a Jater, a Jack fan, Sawyer fan and Kate fan, and many others included, but EVERYONE in this, will have a micky take. I still love them all to bits though. lol There's also no certified pairing, I will no doubt constantly rip the triangle for all it's got, as it's reeeeally getting old now. lol

Kate - Phew! So glad I survived that.

Desmond - Survived what?

Kate looks around. She's in the hatch.

Kate - How the hell...?!?!?!

Locke - Weeeheee! I beat your score...108!...oh wait, that's still lower.

Jack - Can we get him institutionalised?

Desmond - Sorry brother...thats next season again, after he grows drugs.

Charlie appears

Charlie - Did someone mention drugs? Drugs? dRugs? drUgs? druGs? WHERE??!

Eko appears then, and smacks Charlie over the head with his stick and then starts chanting, Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me, hit me! And disappears with Charlie over his shoulder

Bang!

Jack - Finally we're getting somewhere!!

Desmond - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Where all going to die!!

Hurley turns up

Hurley - Dude can't you just use your underlying psychic abilities right now to see that, Kate gets Sayid and fixes the computer, and we DON'T die.

Desmond - Thinks about this ...No. Runs off

Jack - I can't be arsed to run after him.

Locke - Ahhhh push my button Jack, push my button!

Jack - You pushing mine...Its my button!

Kate - Its mine!!...wait isn't it still broken?

Locke - No. I magicked it together.

Jack - What? Are you 2 or something?

Locke - No. I'm 4 8 15 16 23 42 Execute 108!

Jack shoots computer again for good measure

Locke chants it back together again

Jack - Ah phooey! SKIP!!!! SKIP FOREWORD DAMMIT!!

Kate - Isnt that line supposed to be... "Kate dammit run!

Flashback

Kate's walking down a corridor... With reeeally bad hair!

Kate - Because I'm worth it! Flicks hair at camera

Big noise again

Kate - Hey, where've I heard that sound before?

Back in hatch again...everything is shaking

Desmond - Where all going to die!!!

Locke - It's not real!!

Kate - Ok I came back at the wrong time. Clicks heels and returns to another episode...the 23rd psalm

Kate - Wait! I don't do anything but cut Sawyers hair in this episode.

Clicks heels again, moves on to...What Kate did.

Kate - Woohoo...I get to blow up daddy again!

Jack - Woohoo Kate kisses me!

Sawyer - Er Woohoo...I'm not going to die after all!

Locke - Can someone untie me from this chair?

Everyone on the island - NO!

Sawyer - I don't like this episode, Kate kisses Jack.

Ana Lucia appears

Ana Lucia - Just you wait another 11 episodes, then we can have dirty, sweaty, Jungle sex!

Sawyer - Oooh! Scheduled!

LOST writer appears, and whispers to Sawyer that there's going to be SKATE sex

Sawyer - Desmond? Is that you?

LOST writer - No. Throws fish biscuit at Sawyer's head

Sawyer - Woooyeah!! Scheduled!!

Jack - What? But that's not fair! Two seasons of build up!

Kate - shrugs

Jack cries...

The Island - Ok now everyone drink one large shot of vodka! In fact if he doesn't stop soon, down the whole bottle.

Jack - Still crying

20 minutes later, the whole cast, crew, viewers, magical lost beasts, the whole entire population of middle earth and so on, are on the floor drunk

Jackback while we wait for everyone to sober up

Jacks sitting on the edge of a pool drinking with his dad...how...appropriate.

Christian - Good luck, son, with the old ball an' chain. Pats Jack on the back

Jack falls in to the pool

Rising sound...of Jack drowning

Present time Jack IS drowning...in his tears.

Kate - Starts crying, which stops Jack crying I can't...I just can't...the island...its crazy...

A sound- Cough

The Island - Wasn't me.

Sawyer- Sorry, that was me, carry on.

Jack - Ok skip the small talk, KISS ME!!

Kate shrugs, kisses him, then runs away heehee'in.

Sawyer steps out the bushes with a camcorder, and walks away

Hurley - Er...Can I get a copy of that?

Charlie - Yeah, me too!

Jack - Will I ever have any luck?

The Island - No.

Boom, with the Jacks never going to get lucky sign

Please review...keep my weird little psycho side happy lol :D