Ok finally I came out with the FIRST chapter. Well I hope you enjoy!
LOVE
-ICHIGO'S POV-
Love is something the human mind makes up so that we can seek comfort. It is an illusion that can be taken away in the blink of an eye. The last person I loved with all my heart was my mom. Next thing you know she's dead. Her bloody body lying on top of me, my white shirt had turned red with her blood. I was only eight when that happened. An eight year-old should never have to go through that, but I did. After that I kind of gave up on the illusion called love. By doing this I can forget that day and suppress the memories that it has given me. Every once in awhile I see things, things that happened that day. Things I try so hard to forget and that is why I pushed the feeling of love away. It makes things so easy.
Today is my friend Orihime's birthday. I feel bad because just two weeks ago she confessed to me and I told her that we can only be friends. She just gave me a smile and said that it was probably best. So I think she's ok with it.
-ORIHIME'S POV-
Two weeks ago I confessed to the man I love and was rejected. He said, quote for quote, "Orihime I am so sorry, but what you feel isn't real. It is an illusion. We can only be friends and I am so sorry that I ever made you feel that way."
"No, no it's ok Ichigo. You're right we are friends and we should keep that way." I gave him a smile hoping he wouldn't catch the pain in my heart. "I have to go." With that I walked away and as I got further I walked faster and faster. Thinking that if I ran fast enough maybe I could run back to the point before I knew how he really felt, but it was too late. I reached the park and from there I cried my heart out and screamed until the pain went away. It never did.
-ICHIGO'S POV-
"ICHIGO MY S-" I opened the door to hit my father in the face but it seems that the door had already beaten me to it. "Oww! Ichigo you, you really got to stop doing that. One of these days you might kill me."
"Dad, could you just shut up."
"Your being more rude than usual today. Oh is it because its Orihime's birthday. The love of your li-"
"DAD I DON'T LOVE HER!" my dad looked at me. His eyes became cold and black. He shook his head and looked at the ground. When he lifted his head his eyes fell on me.
"How much longer are you going to do that?"
"Do what?"
"Pretend that you don't know how to love" After he said that he left me standing there. His words stuck in my mind. Stinging me like a thousand bees as the words echoed in my head. My father doesn't understand what is going on in my head. Hell I don't even know what's going on in my head. Sometimes I feel that if I continue like this my head might just explode, but if I let love into my life again I'm afraid of what will happen to those around me. The reason my mom died was because of me. It was because of me back then was unable to help her. I was weak and fragile, but now I have learned how to protect. To do that I don't let love into my heart.
"So the old man got mad at you." My sister said leaning on my wall.
"What do you know?" I said irritated. I really wasn't in the mood for this. Grabbing my shoes I went to sit on my bed so I can put them on.
"I know you're not in the mood for this." I lifted my brow and looked up at her. "Ichigo, I know what you're thinking. Your irritated scrowl said it all." At that I gave a little annoyed chuckle. "Can I tell you something Ichigo?"
"It doesn't matter if I say no or not because you're going to tell me anyway" I retorted.
"You're a pussy."
"What?!"
"You're a pussy."
"Karin I heard you the first time!" I had in fact heard her the first time but I was just shocked that my LITTLE sister had called me a pussy.
"Well I was just making sure." She said with a smirk. "And I'm going to tell you why." Ok now I was extremely annoyed. "Do you know it has been eight years since you said 'I love you' to any of us? Do you know that Yuzu is starting to think you really don't love her. God damn it Ichigo I'm starting to think you don't love any of us. I know that since mom died you think it has affected you the most, well it hasn't. Think about Dad! He loved LOVED her. That was the love of his life and he knows he will never find anyone like her again. So that's why you're a pussy. GROW UP!" Karin said this so loud that the house shook. She looked at me with her glossy eyes. I could tell she was trying to hold back the tears. The reason I know this is because Karin hasn't cried since Mom died so I know she's not gonna start now. "Do you have anything to say Ichigo? If not then you could walk out this room right now and I'll never bring this up again." With that I grabbed my bag and walked towards the door as I walked out of my room I felt her eyes burning into my back.
-ORIHIME'S POV-
OK it's my birthday and I should be happy. I am finally turning eighteen and I am an adult. For most teenagers that would be the life but not for me. Since my brother died my distant aunt has been giving me money so I can live on my own, but since I am turning eighteen my aunt will stop giving me money. So today kind of sucks. The only reason I can have a pool party is because Tatsuki got a pool in her back yard last year. I refused her offer at first but she insisted so it would be rude to not take her kindness.
Right now I'm walking to school and I'm really nervous to walk with Ichigo. Aright I know it's been TWO weeks, but it still hurts to know that his feelings don't match mine.
"Oi, Orihime wait up!" I turn back to see Ichigo rushing towards me.
-ICHIGO'S POV-
When I see Orihime I get I weird feeling in my chest. I always get this feeling when I see Orihime so it's nothing. When I call out to her she turns around and gives me a smile. For some reason her smiles have been different lately. They don't hold as much warmth as the usually do.
"Good morning Ichigo."
"Happy Birthday Orihime!" I say this with a smile as I hold out a little pink box with a white sparkling bow. I felt like such a fag holding this, but it was her birthday after all.
-ORIHIME'S POV-
When I saw Ichigo smiling with that little pink box I started to cry.
"Orihime are you ok?!" Ichigo said with concern.
"Ichigo I'm fine I'm just really happy that's all." I took the box from his hand and started to tug on the bow. I held the bow in my hand as I opened the box. Inside it was a strawberry necklace. With that I started to cry even harder.
"I remembered you told me that you loved strawberries." He said with a caring smile. He picked up the necklace very delicately. "Turn around and lift up your hair." I did as he said. I looked up when I saw his long muscular arms come over my head as he placed the necklace around my neck. When his hand touched my neck to connect the sides of the necklace my whole body went warm.
When he was done I turned around and said, "Thank you so much Ichigo it's just perfect."
"Good because that was what I was aiming for when I bought it for you." He said with one side of his lip rising. Right there I started to melt away. Then I remembered what I was feeling right now he would never feel for me in his life time. That was when my tears of joy slowly turned into tears of sadness. As soon as they turned to unhappy tears Ichigo put his head to the side as if he was questioning me. "Orihime are you ok?" He said with is brown eyes staring right me but why did I feel as if he was staring through me.
"I'm fine Ichigo, like I said I'm just really happy." I said flashing him a smile. "We better hurry up or we'll be late to school.
-ICHIGO'S POV-
There it was again, but this time the smile held no warmth at all. Why is she acting like this? Is it because of the confession? She seemed perfectly fine. Maybe it hurt her more than I thought when I get to school I'll ask Rukia what she thinks I did wrong.
…
"YOU DID WHAT?!" the small girl said fueled with anger and sadly the anger was at me. Which is where I really don't want it to be, she may be little but she sure has a big bite.
"I turned down Orihime's confession." Rukia's eyes got big. She went to jump toward me viciously but she stopped herself so she could ask the next question.
"How did you say it?" she said compressing all her anger.
" I just said, 'I am so sorry, but what you feel isn't real. It is an illusion. We can only be friends and I am so sorry that I ever made you feel that way'. That's all." Rukia's eye started to twitch. Then she took a deep breath before she spoke again.
"Oh ok well your perfectly fine you did nothing wrong."
"Really?"
"FUCK NO! THAT'S ALL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S ALL. YOU'RE LUCKY THE GIRL DIDN'T KILL HERSELF!" Rukia yelled full of angry. Her face bright red. She took a long deep breath and her face went back to normal. "So Ichigo what do you really feel for Orihime?" She asked. I went to go open my mouth but she stopped me."And don't just give me 'Oh well ya know I just see her as a friend' NO BULLSHIT. I want to know everything you feel when you see her." I look at Rukia and give out a sigh.
"When Orihime's brother got into the car accident Orihime carried his body to the nearest place and that just so happened to be my families clinic. I had heard this crazy knock at the door as I got closer I heard the sound of a girl screaming for help. When I got to the door there she was, carrying his body like it was nothing because she wanted him to live so badly." I looked up to look at Rukia. She seemed sadden by the story but also excited to hear more at the same time so I continued. "My dad took him into one of the rooms and had me sit with her. She looked up at me and smiled while introducing herself. Can you believe that? A young girl her age able to smile after doing something like that. After that I introduced myself and that was when she told me she loved strawberries. Then my dad came into the room telling Orihime that he was transferring her brother to the hospital. That was when the ambulance came and took her and her brother away. Two hours later he died."
Rukia looked at me as if her own puppy died. Her eyes glossy and her fingers tapping. "So what else?" She chocked.
"Well I didn't become friends with her until I was a first year. We became friends because she was friends with my childhood friend Tatsuki. Ever since that day at the clinic, every time I see her I get this feeling in my chest and I don't know what it is." All of a sudden Rukia reaches forward and punches me right in the gut. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!"
"For being a dumb ass you dumb ass!" She said this time flicking me on the nose. "OK Ichigo when was the last time you loved someone?"
"Ten years ago. My Mom was the most important person in the world."
"Your Mom?" I nodded to show her she heard right. "Ichigo I mean love LOVE as in a girl that isn't related to you."
"Then no I have never loved a girl."
"What you think of Orihime's boobs?" that question made me choke on my spit.
"Rukia what the fuck kind of question is that?!" I said my face turning red.
"Just tell me what you think of her boobs!" She said hysterically while grabbing my by the collar and choking me.
"W-well they're big I guess." She started chocking me even more. "Ok ok they're really big!" Rukia let go of me.
"Have you ever been physically attracted to her?"
"Well once when I was fifteen during P.E. All the guys were talking about her in a gross way so I defended her. Then all the guys started pushing me and I fell on top of her and she was in her swim suit after she was done swimming." Rukia raised an eyebrow.
"You've known Orihime for a long time and you have only been attracted to her once?"
"Ughhhh also when I was seventeen I went to Tatsuki's house to hang out and her mom opened the door saying that Tatsuki had to finish putting the dishes away. So her mom said just to wait in her room and when I opened the door I walked in on Orihime getting dressed."My face was redder than a tomato now.
"Wow Ichigo you're not as clean as you seem." She said with the evilest smirk I have ever seen. "Well Ichigo, you like her!"
"No I don't! I haven't loved anyone since my mom died."
"That's why you don't know! You have never loved a girl before so you don't know what it feels like, but that feeling you get in your chest is love Ichigo. No matter how much you try to push it out of your life it is a feeling you can never get rid of. Love is not how you see it because you can't see love Ichigo you have to feel it." I looked at her and I feel as if she was right.
"What if I love her? She'll just get hurt like my Mom and I might be too weak to save her."
"Ichigo your Mom's death was not your fault you were eight. Someone shot her during drive by. No one could have saved her not even your Dad. You're lucky that you just got nipped by a bullet on your arm and I bet you she's happy it was you who survived. Do you really think she would want you living like this?"When Rukia asked me that I realized she was right. My mom always said that she wanted me to get married and have grand kids that she could love. All a long I have been going against my mother instead of protecting the memory of her. "Ichigo I want you to say it."
"Say what?"
"How you feel." I took a long pause then I answered.
"I'm in love."
I hoped you liked it and please do review!
