A/N

Well this is embarrassing. Here I am nearly a year later, and only just now having updated. Here's the second chapter; thank you for your patience.


*PEACH'S POV*


Groaning in boredom, I lean my head backwards, watching my long, golden hair flow in the wind. It's a wonder my locks don't get caught in the propeller of the flying kart.

"...Are we there yet?"

"No."

I sit back up and put my head in my hand.

A pause as we fly further.

"...How about now?" I ask, looking at the ground far below.

"Still no."

A long pause sits between us.

"Now?"

"NO, GODAMNIT!"

"'Kay, fine, grumpy." I smile to myself. I love annoying him like that.


Finally, we're arriving at his castle. I can't wait to get out and stretch my legs before he throws me into a dungeon cell.

But wait, what's this? We're passing over the whole thing!

"Erm…Bowser?"

"Yes, honey?"

"...You know that castle was back that way, right?"

"We're not going to my castle this time."

"...Then...where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. I think you'll like it, and, if not, then too bad! GWAHAHAHA!"

I sigh and roll my eyes. Misogynistic jerk.


"Peachy...wake up...we're here."

Huh? I must have fallen asleep from boredom on the way over.

Bowser lands the clown kart in front of a tiny brown house with a black roof and large, clear windows. Leading up to it is a dirt and stone path lined with dark, but colorful flowers.

"Where are we?" I ask.

Bowser gets out of the car and makes a grand gesture, "our vacation home in World 11!" he grins proudly.

"'Our' vacation home?" I parrot.

"Yeah: our vacation home. I remember what you told me last time I captured you: how it's the same ol' thing every time: I show up to your kingdom, rescue you, take you back to my place for a while, but then the Loser Bros. come and capture you until I can get you back."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how I put it."

"That got me thinking:" he continues, ignoring me. "We've been married for eleven years, and have never even had a proper honeymoon!"

"Married?! HONEYMOON?! I NEVER MARRIED YOU!"

"Yeah you did," Bowser folds his arms crossly. "You probably just don't remember it much cause Bleck's secretary kept brainwashing you every thirty seconds or so.

"Pictures, or it didn't happen," I insist.

"Figured you'd want proof. I may not have any pictures..." he digs around through his Hammerspace inventory, "...but I do have a marriage certificate!" he holds the framed piece of paper high in the air, and then hands it to me for me to read:


CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE

This certifies that

King Bowser Koopa of the Koopa Kingdom and Princess Peach Toadstool-Koopa of the Mushroom Kingdom

Were united in marriage on this day:

The 9th of April in the year 2007.

This marriage was witnessed and celebrated by

Count Bleck, Nastasia, Dimentio, Mimi, O'Chunks, and the members of the Koopa and Mushroom Kingdom.


My eye twitches. I've been married to Bowser...since SUPER PAPER MARIO?!

"Ha. Hahaha...no. This...this has got to be some kind of joke, or mistake."

"Nope. It's a totally legit marriage certificate. Got it checked out after, it's all legal and everything."

I sigh, shaking my head and lowering the certificate from my sight: "I...I...don't even know what to say..."

"Then don't say anything!" a clueless Bowser exclaims cheerily. "Now you finally have a reason we can be together, and you don't have to go back to Suckio!"

For the first time in a long time, all I can feel is defeat. Just pure, utter defeat.

"Now come on! Let's go inside!" Bowser urges. "I've only seen the place online."

Eyeing the surrounding wire gate, I wonder if I can make a break for it. "...Sure! Go right ahead! I'll meet you inside for a bit, I'm just going to...admire the scenery."

"Okay!" he smiles. "I'm gonna go check it out. See you in a few, honey!"

"Sure thing...dear."

Once he's inside the house and closes the door to just a crack behind him, I decide it's now or never! I kick off my heels and make a run for the gate. So far so good...until I clasp the gate and find myself getting electrocuted just before hitting the ground with a force.

"Oh yeah! Forgot to tell ya:" I hear Bowser's voice coming from the house. "I ordered for an electric fence to be installed in case you try anything funny."

I blow some of my cartoonishly-singed hair from my face. Sure; now he bothers to tell me.


I decide to take a look at the inside of the tiny house where Bowser had been waiting for me: it has a modern décor with a small kitchen to my right, a dining room table to my left, and a couch with bookshelves at the back of the room. To the right of that is a hallway that leads to the bathroom and bedroom.

"This is...certainly cozy," I remark.

"I know, right? Figured you'd like it."

"...Say, you wouldn't happen to know if there's a phone here, would you?"

"Yeah, I think I saw one in the back. I don't think it'd be any use, though: it's not like those pesky plumbers will hear you from here."

"It's not for them, it's for Daisy and Rosalina. I promised I'd play tennis with them on the new court Daisy had installed, but then you came along with...other plans. It's only fair to let them know."

"Oh, of course, Peachy!" he flashes me a toothy grin. "Anything for you!" After giving me a huge smooch on the cheek, his expression becomes much more serious. "But no funny business. I put a LOT of effort to get this to work for us!"


*MEANWHILE, AT PRINCESS DAISY'S CASTLE...*

*DAISY'S POV*


I clutch my knees, gasping and out of breath. "That...that is no fair!" I protest. "You've totally been cheating!"

Rosalina gives me a bored look, twirling the racket in her hands. "How, exactly?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You've been freaking floating the whole time! Use your feet, you wimp!"

"Daisy! Princess Daisy!" I look over to see one my toad servants waddle up to me, a cordless phone in his hand. "You have a phone call."

Throwing back a large gulp of water from my thermos, which dribbles on me and gets me a little wet, I take the phone. "Thanks," I wave him off. "Hello?"

"Hi, Daisy, it's Peach."

"Hey! Where are you?! We've been waiting for you all morning!"

"I'm with Bowser."

"Again?! Seriously. Girl, you need to get better security."

"I get that a lot."

"Can I ask what he's up to this time?"

"We're...we're on our...honeymoon."

I stare off into the distance, my eyes wide with shock.

"...Hello? …Daisy? …Are you still there?"

I tried my best to hold back a snicker, but I can't help the bursting laughter that followed right after. Soon I find myself rolling on the ground, laughing. "LOL, you are not!" I roll over onto my stomach.

"We are."

"How in the worlds did he get you to agree to vows, then?"

"It happened a long time ago, but I didn't really remember it until today. It's a long story."

"Well, can you at least tell us when the Bros are gonna grab you back?"

"That's the thing. I don't know if they will."

I frown worriedly. "Why not?"

"I'm in World 11, not World 8. See, Bowser's gone through the trouble of purchasing a lovely vacation home here...presumably so we could have some...privacy." I notice hints of distress in her nicest tone. I can only guess Bowser is somewhere nearby, which wouldn't let her speak freely.

"Are you on speaker?" I ask.

"No, why?"

"Hang in there. Rosie and I will use her ship to come and get you, ASAP."

"Oh, good. Thank you for being so understanding."

We give each other a brief 'goodbye', and I hang up. I look over at Rosalina, who's moved over to the other side of the court.

"I don't mean to be any cause of alarm, Daisy, but all of our tennis supplies have suddenly disappeared."

My jaw drops and my brow furrows. "The underwhere? How did that even?" I shake my head, and focus back on my original task. "Never mind. Peach is in serious trouble, and Mario and Luigi won't be able to reach her in time. How's your ship doing on fuel?"

"Hmm..." she rubs the back of her head, looking embarrassed. "To be honest, I'm not sure. Let's go see."


To both our surprise, there's hardly enough to get out of Sarasaland, let alone go all the way to World 11 to save Peach.

"You've got to be kidding," I fold my arms and glare at her. "Coming all the way from space, and you didn't even think to have enough fuel to get back?"

"That's so strange! I could have sworn I had enough when I landed here!"

Rolling my eyes, I take the cordless phone out of my Hammerspace inventory. "It's fine. I'll just have the servants fill you up."

Suddenly, before either of us can do anything, the spaceship's fuel meter suddenly goes from near-empty to completely full.

We stand there in shock.

"What...the...?" we say at the same time.

You're welcome. Bold text comes out of nowhere.

"Oh, thanks, writer-person." Sometimes I forget there's a fourth wall that breaks sometimes. "All right! Let's get on our way and go save Peach! And we won't stop for anything!"


10 MINUTES LATER...

*ROSALINA'S POV*


Daisy and I have made excellent time! Already we are here in World 11: Dark World. Except...

"...Rosie..." Daisy groans, rolling on the floor behind me. "I know I said not to stop 'for anything', but can we pull over? I gotta go. Like, 'go'. Now."

"I told you not to drink as much water as you had. Why didn't you go before we left?"

"I didn't have to go then!"

I roll my eyes and focus on the road.

"Pleeeeease pull over!" she whines. "It'll only take a minute, really!"

I sigh. I suppose we need to ask for directions anyway.

So we pull over to the nearest building: a small resteraunt, so Daisy may relieve herself.

Thankfully for us, the koopa in the greeting area knows exactly the vacation homes we're talking about. When Daisy is done, he gives us a map, and wishes us luck.


It had taken us slightly longer than I had hoped, but it isn't too long before we arrive at the cluster of hills and houses that the koopa had told us about.

"Which one do you think it is, Daisy?" I ask, scanning the ground with my eyes.

"Let's try that one."

The trees in the general vicinity have made landing a bit difficult, but I can soon find a clearing that keeps us out of sight.

"You see her?" Daisy asks. We're now hiding behind some bushes about twenty feet from the fence.

Forming my hands into "binoculars", I get a look at Peach drinking and laughing with Bowser, but she doesn't look comfortable in the least. To our luck, we're right where we want to be.

"That's her. What's the plan?"

"Honestly, I thought you would think of one," Daisy admits.

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. This is so typical of her: to go into whatever impulse she has without a plan, and ends up making a fool of herself or worse. It's just a good thing she brought me with. I take a look at the house, and the gate. "Somehow, we have to get past the gate, and break Peach out."

"You can fly, right? Maybe you can get over without shocking yourself. If you can get the sparks off, I can come in and help you whoop-a-can-of-ass on Bowser!"

Surprisingly, that's not half a bad idea. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud, though. Positioning myself just outside the house, I float over the fence, and into the front yard. I sniff the air.

"Hey, what was that?!"

Oh no. Bowser heard me! I better find that power source, quick! Where is it, where is it?! Aha: it's at the side of the house! Just as I begin to run towards it, I stumble over a pebble that got caught in my shoe...which led a bigger stone to hit my leg. I brush it off, but then I fall flat onto a rock about the size of my head. I manage to flip over it, but then, once again, I crash into the largest one: one the size of my body.

"Who in the Underwhere put all these rocks here?!" I exclaim aloud.

Nevertheless, I pull myself off of the ground, and throw my hands around the switch, yanking it down. Success! The fence immediately switches off.

"Who-WAAAAH-!" Daisy tries to kick the gate of the fence open, but ends up falling backwards.

Peach comes out of the front door and starts down the path in front of the house. "It's locked, stupid."

"Hey, WHAT?!" Bowser stands there in shock at the front door as she opens it up and helps Daisy.

"Thanks for coming, you guys. And quickly, too!"

"Of course."

"What're friends for?!" Daisy laughs, throwing an affectionate arm around her.

"But, Peachy! You said your friends understood that we were on our honeymoon!"

"Just because we understand something, does not mean we approve." I fold my arms.

"Ahahaha, no. Peachy, get back in the house."

"Sure I'll get back in the house. And by 'house' I mean my castle back in World 1."

"Do you idiots seriously think you can just kidnap my brainwashed wife and walk away?"

"Nope. That's why we're gonna battle you," Daisy gets into 'battle' position, soon to be followed by Peach, and me, after I join my friends on the other side of Daisy.

"GWAHAHA! Do you really think a bunch of weak princesses are gonna win against-"

"HIII-YAH!" We all jump simultaneously, and give Bowser a satisfying kick to the face.


A/N

So, as you might've guessed, the next chapter's going to start with a battle! But, to warn you in advance, it's going to be a while before the next one starts...I'm already behind on so many other fanfics I promised myself (and some other people who asked) I'd get to.