A/N: DARLINGS

A/N: DARLINGS! Ah, yes, hello again, my four lovely reviewers and anyone else who happens to stumble upon the product of my summer boredom. I wanted to get a few chapters in before I go away for a super long time this summer, so sorry for any imperfections or things like sentences that straight up make no sense. I am STILL searching for a beta (not that I've been searching for very long) … I tried to go beta-hunting, but it's so creepy (in my opinion, at least) saying "HEY YOU MIGHT HATE ME, MY WRITING, OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT WILL YOU BECOME MY BFF AND EDIT THIS FOR ME?" well, now I will stop rambling and leave you with this mess that is my brain.

By the WAYY… The-Great-Moxie, I hope some of the not-going-with-them was explained here, but I'm sorry if it's still a stupid explanation.

I woke up the next morning craving strawberry ice cream. Mmmmm, I really, really wanted it. I rolled over in my bed. Wait, what?! I sat up abruptly (ahhhh head rush), and saw that I was in my bed, and that it was morning. The girls in my room were getting ready for breakfast and classes, and Kayleigh shot me a "you okay there?" look, evidently in response to my confused expression. I shook my head, deciding to ask Remus –sharpintakeofbreath. Remus. – about it later.

Gahhh, I hate mornings. I rolled over and my feet landed on the hard, cold floor with a thud. What ever should I wear. I looked in my wardrobe, trying to decide… well, this school uniform, that school uniform, or maybe this one over here. So many choices, I know. Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed by the options that I have to close my eyes and stick out a hand to blindly choose.

Sarcasm, people. One of the nice things about uniforms is that they do not require any effort of choice. I pulled out what looked like the cleanest shirt and skirt, slipping into thigh high socks and purple shoes. I took my hair out of its careless bun and put it up the exact same way. Deciding that it didn't hurt to not be the last one down to breakfast, I picked up my bag, shoved some unfinished work in it, and stumbled off down the stairs.

"Ah, yes, darling!" James called in a mock gentlemanly tone when I got to the common room. "Walk me to the Great Hall, now, will you?"

I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the portrait hole, impatiently waiting for him to follow.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. You're sure up early. And not very talkative, either." He jogged to catch up with me, and his step fell in with mine.

"I can get up early sometimes, you know."

He snorted. I'm rarely seen functional before 11. Oh come on that's not that late.

"Moony got to bed pretty late last night or, er, early this morning… know anything about that?" I shrugged, and he proceeded to prompt me. "You know I don't think you have enough faith in his feelings for you, Layla. You need to tell him what you think. You never know…"

"What, James, and you know how he feels?" I glared.

"We do live in the same room. He talks in his sleep." I blushed. "But anyway, right, so you heard about my latest attempt with Lily, yeah? Well, yesterday when we …" I zoned him out, lost in thoughts about Moony and the possibilities. Or the lack of possibilities. Ugh.

"… and she slapped me! Right there in front of the other girl! The nerve! I mean – OI, Whiskey, stop thinking about your wolf, I was telling you a story!" Let it be known that after a month of everyone going by their anamagus nickname, mine –Whiskey- was deemed too idiotic and I refused to respond to it. That doesn't, however, stop the boys from using it occasionally. I just ignore them.

We got to the great hall and took our seats next to Peter and Remus. Sirius was off somewhere bothering his latest conquest. Ah, muffins. Blueberr-UGH. WHY WON'T HE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. "Yes, Jake, what can I do for you this morning that I couldn't do for you last night." I asked him as kindly as possible.

Jake looked at me, hands in his pockets, and bit his lip. "Look, I was just wondering if maybe you'd reconsidered."

I sighed, and looked over at Remus (who was obliviously reading a page in the Prophet while eating toast), remembering what he had said the night before. In all honesty I didn't want anything less at that moment than to listen to anything Jake had to say, let alone agree with it. But I had to start being realistic, here, didn't I. Moony was never going to … you know… I mean just looking at him then it was obvious that nothing was ever going to happen.

"Oh what the fucking hell, Jake. Fine, alright?"

"Fine as in… you'll go out with me? This weekend? Hogsmeade?" Remus looked up at this, his face impossible to read. Hurt? Pain? Annoyance? Jealousy? Anger? No, just… indifference.

"Yes, Jake, fine. Now will you let me eat my muffin?"

"Of course. Enjoy your muffin, I'll see you in class." He walked away grinning and I muttered "looking forward to it oh so much, Walker."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "After a year of saying no, today was just a special day? You're finally going to give him a chance?"

I shot him a glare. "Shut it, Pettigrew" James raised an eyebrow at me. "Potter. Don't you even…" Remus kept reading the paper, but nodded.

"I think it's good," he said finally, "that you're giving him a chance and all. Bloke needs a break. You're a hard one to catch, Layla Armone, and a hard one to keep once you've been caught."

I have him a "whatthefuck" look and angrily ate my muffin. Bloody werewolves. No, you know what? Bloody boys in general.

--

The next day in potions I was, of course, angry. Not that I wasn't angry before the next day in potions, but that was all just silent fuming. Potions tends to bring out the worst in me. I was mad for a variety of reasons, I suppose… some of which included Jake Walker and Remus Lupin. Oh, and there's the minor fact that I positively detest potions. Yes, I understand that when made correctly a potion can be one of the most powerful, manipulative devices in the wizardingBLAH BLAH BLAH. The problem here is that I'm HORRIBLE at potions. One ounce of polymorphagus roots? Well, polymanagus sounds close enough to me… and it was there on the shelf, so why not just … OH BIG FIRE. I GUESS THAT'S WHY NOT.

But that was last year. Right, so anyway. There I was, sitting in potions, minding my own business next to Peter (he's the best to sit next to when I'm pissed because he won't bother me) when Remus came up and asked Pete to switch partners for the day. So Pete walked off to work with James (Sirius sleeps with –er, I mean, works with- a different girl each class. Usually attractive and more often than not blonde).

"Alright, Layla. Let's do this. And I will not let you singe off anyone's hair today, including mine. So why don't you just cut these- no, no, you'll cut yourself. Uh, here, stir this- no, no, that won't do. Add these- no, not that. You know, Layla, why don't you just sit there and read me the directions."

"You're the one who wanted to work with me," I said in my most acidic voice. I'm quite proud of that voice, seeing as it took me about 6 years to perfect. Remus, however, was not affected.

"Yeah, I … I guess that's true." He looked at me as if he wanted to say something. He almost looked… regretful. Sorry, even. No, no, I must have just been seeing things.

We worked in silence for a few minutes.

"So you looking forward to Hogsmeade?" he asked.

"Not at all. Just because I gave in doesn't mean I'm not dreading it."

He smirked. "Hey, pass me that knife, will you? Here, I'll just get it." He leaned over me (well, more like into me) and I held my breath. His hand brushed against mine and I swear I felt it everywhere. Apparently he did, too, because he pulled back awfully quickly, CUTTING my (OW) hand on that stupid knife. Oh man, lots of blood.

"LAYLA! Oh god, Lay, I'm so sorry, here, come here, wrap it in my scarf, ok, here, yeah, run up to the hospital wing I'll clean everything up here and – oh god that's bleeding a lot, ok, yeah, just make sure you keep the pressure on, and…" he kept rambling but I stopped listening and just sort of stumbled out of the room.

Madame Pomfrey, of course, fixed my hand with a couple flicks of her wand and some suspicious glares in my direction. She may be new to the school but she's evidently pretty good at what she does. Her effortless expertise sort of made me feel like I had made a big deal out of nothing.

Later that day, back in the common room, I was sitting at a table doing my homework and Remus came up to sit next to me.

"Looks like Pomfrey got you all sorted out." He nodded at my hand.

"Oh, yeah," I said, flexing it a little, "it really wasn't that bad anyway. You get everything cleaned up?"

He smiled "Yes. 10 points from Gryffindor for making such a mess. Your blood is quite stubborn when it wants to stick on things."

I made a face (ew, he was talking about my blood like they were old friends. Even I don't like my blood that much.)

"When's the full moon, again?"

He looked around as if to say "you said that awfully loud, let's not make this public knowledge" and answered quietly "Saturday."

Oh, Saturday. As in my "date" with Jake. As in Hogsmeade. As in they'd all be gone when I got back after said "date." Wonderful… just what I've always wanted – a day with Walker and a night with no mates. I mean it was bad enough that I had agreed to go on Saturday and the reason I had agreed – that being Remus' behavior – made it even worse, so you would think that life would be ever so slightly kind to me and at least promise me a decent evening when I got back from the –

Poke.

"OW! You poked me!" I yelped.

Remus smirked. "Yeah, well, you were zoning. Can't have that, now, can we?"

I rolled my eyes and pretended to ignore him in favor of my essay. Right, what about Hippogriffs in the Golbiln's First War?

"Look," he said, refusing to let me concentrate, "I've got to go up to the library, but I'll talk to you later, ok? Be psyched for Saturday! Er, I mean, your date, not… the other thing… Right, well, later Whiskey."

I nodded at him and watched as he walked out the portrait hole. This was going to be such a fun weekend. Sarcasm, kids, sarcasm.

--

That Saturday I woke up early – a combination of nerves and nightmares is a surefire way to prevent sleep. Not many people were up around the dorm, but I had agreed to meet Walker at 10 in the common room, so I figured I should get going. Reaching for another white blouse and pleated skirt, I realized that I didn't have to wear a uniform. Oh the joys of Saturdays. I pulled on the usual jeans and jumper, ignoring the brief thought that maybe I should put a little extra effort into dressing for this "date". Scarf, hat, gloves, and sneakers. I stuck my wand in my pocket and moved down the stairs, pulling my hair down to make room for my hat.

"Layla," Jake said when he saw me (yes I find it slightly creepy that he was waiting for me 30 minutes earlier than we had planned), "your hair's down. I like it. Ready?"

Having been ambushed, I hesitated, shoving my hat on my head to hide my hair (Sirius likes to play with it and call it "luxurious," so I try to keep it up as much as possible). "I suppose, yeah," I replied, walking cautiously towards him.

My eyes searched the common room, looking for a familiar face. Well, the faces were all familiar, but the four I was looking for were absent. Probably still asleep, seeing as they had a big night ahead of them.

I turned back towards Jake. "Yes, let's go," and he waited for me to head out the portrait hole, following close behind.

--

As the day progressed, I can't say I was having any more fun than I had thought I would – despite Jake's best efforts. We visited Honeydukes and the Quill Shop (what can I say I needed quills…) before Jake steered us subtly towards Madam Puttifoot's. That couple-filled, charming little delicate café was definitely not where I wanted to eat anything.

"Ugh, ew, why Puttifoot's? Wouldn't you rather just go to The Three Broomsticks to find something to eat?"

"What's wrong with Puttifoot's?" He was being awkwardly defensive.

"It's full of couple-obsessed couples who refuse to do anything but be couples."

He blushed, and I realized that this was obviously why he wanted to go in. For a second there, I felt bad. I mean, what was so bad about this kid that I couldn't just give him a break and at least act interested? Why did I always have to be such a bitch? Couldn't I just, for once, put a smile on my face and pucker up? Metaphorically, here, but still.

I decided that I owed him at least this. "Well, yeah, ok, Puttifoot's is fine, I guess. Let's go."

We walked in the door and I think I threw up a little in my mouth. It's not that I had anything against all these people, but their body language and everything about them just screamed "WE'RE IN LOVE." And what were those people doing? God, they might as well just get a room already. Who was it? Oh, of course, it was Sirius. And who was that girl? Poor girl, she had to know what she was getting herself into, she couldn't be that stupid. Well, Sirius does sometimes go for the less intelligent ones-WHAT? WAS THAT KAYLEIGH? Oh no. This cannot be happening.

"Oh look!" I pointed at Kayleigh and Sirius sitting alone at a table for four, "let's go sit with them!" I dragged him over and immediately took the seat next to Sirius, clutching his wrist and digging my nails in.

"Ow! Layla! What the bloody hell?!"

"Yes, Sirius, what the bloody hell."

He gave me a "get away from here I'm just about to score" look and I gave him a "what the fuck are you doing with my only female friend" look.

"Jake, why don't you stay here with Kayleigh, Sirius and I will go get some drinks. Right, Sirius?" I dragged Sirius up to the front of the café, turning him to face me.

"What the fuck are you doing with my only female friend?" I punched him in the shoulder for good measure.

"Get away from here I'm just about to score." We have an uncanny ability to say what we want to say with just a look.

"You're not going to 'score' with Kayleigh. I don't care if you're both just looking for sex, you will end this badly and she'll stop talking to me and then I'll be stuck with four idiotic boys for friends 24/7. That's not good for anyone."

"Layla I think she knows what she's getting into." He screwed his face up, concentrating on how he could possibly turn that into a dirty joke.

"Yes, Black, I don't think she's an idiot, but that doesn't make this any better."

"Right, Armone, because you're one to take advice from on these matters. When was the last time you actually told someone how you feel?"

"Telling him how I feel and sleeping with every living being are two completely different things."

"Ah, so you admit that you know who I'm talking about? That's what I thought. You know what? Maybe you should just go cower in a corner while I actually do something productive."

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that breaking hearts and being a whore was productive."

"You know what, Layla? I'm sick of your games. I'm sick of you sitting here acting all victimized because Moony's not head-over-heals in love with you. Look, right over there, see that? That's Jake. That, my friend, is someone who is, for whatever bloody reason, head-over-heals in love with you. Jake has gone out of his way to prove this point to you, and you can't do anything but ignore him. And yet you still manage to make yourself feel like the victim here. Tell me, Layla, tell me how that works out. You're breaking hearts just like I am because you're too caught up with someone who doesn't return your feelings. Maybe, Layla, Moony doesn't want you because you're a self-centered attention whore who can't think of anything but how victimized she is by a lack of mutual feelings. Yeah, Layla, I said it. He doesn't want you, and maybe you deserve to be rejected. Now get the bloody hell over yourself and go cry somewhere else."

My face fell and I couldn't do anything but stare at him in shock. Maybe I needed to be told off but that was too much. I felt like I was going to cry. I felt like someone was smothering me. I felt like there were rocks sitting on my chest and everyone I knew was just watching and cheering as I was literally being crushed to death. I saw Sirius register the severity of his own words as his face fell, too, but by that time I was already turning and walking out the door, determined to make it outside before Jake followed me.

I still felt like I couldn't breathe as I turned a corner onto a side street and leaned against the cold brick wall, clutching my stomach, tears running down my face. I'm not a crier, here, but this was just not a situation in which I found it easy to contain myself.

"Layla?" I heard Jake call from outside the café and I quickly tried to compose myself, taking quick shaky breaths to calm myself down as I wiped my tears away with gloved hands.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't bring myself to face him. I didn't want to have to act happy all day and pretend that I was enjoying his company. No, I just wanted to sleep. I quietly slipped into my cat form and ran gently back to the main street, past Jake, ignoring him as he continued to call 'Layla?' not recognizing me.

I reached the common room still in my cat form and saw Remus and Peter about to leave, presumably to head to the Shrieking Shack. I saw a confused look on both their faces as they recognized me, but I ran past, up to the dorm, changed quickly back into the Layla that most people know me as, and lay down on my bed, still in my winter clothes, too tired to care. Relieved that I was finally alone, I felt myself drift off to sleep.

A/N: woo. hoo. I say we have a review party and just all review. Yip-dee-doo. Here's the plan. I'm going away a week from tomorrow (GAH THAT'S SO SOON. MUST START PACKING.) so I'm going to try to update before then, and then at least once or twice while I'm away (this is assuming there's at least one little person out there reading this story). Right! So, I will be back. At some point this week. For the time being, I have dubbed myself Super Updated. Mwahahahahaha… I will leave you now.