Lily had suspected it for a couple days, but decided the best thing to do would be to go to St. Mungos to find out for sure. This wasn't something she wanted to be uncertain about. She left with news that would forever change her life.
Severus of course was completely oblivious to the events about to unfurl. He was staying late in the potions lab, feverishly scratching notes into his book. He did this when he was stressed. Lily had been weird for the past few weeks, just totally avoiding him. She had continually stood him up for their dinner dates (which weren't so much dates as standing plans), and would always make up some excuse to slip into another room whenever Snape tried to catch her in the hall.
This of course was incredibly frustrating. He had been pining after Lily Evans since the day he met her, and after a night like that she won't talk to him? But he couldn't bring himself to be mad. She was the loveliest girl he had ever met. She had the most beautiful red hair, that was always lovely, even in the messy buns she sometimes donned when she was stressed. She had porcelain skin, and startlingly bright green eyes. They almost didn't look real. And she was incredibly kind. She was nice to everyone, and made it a point not to force any social situations on Severus, because he was so shy and quiet. She had a soft but strong voice, and she was always humming some old show tune under her breath… her muggle mother was a fan of Broadway. The whole concept of which mostly just confused Severus, but it sounded like a lovely song.
Most of all, Severus was different with her than anyone else. She made him a better person. Lily Evans was one of the only people who could make him smile and laugh. All the other girls seemed so vain, self-absorbed and dim. Lily was bright, gorgeous, understanding, and knew Severus inside and out. He really was in love with her. But he didn't know about her feelings. She was always very clear that they were just friends, but then what about last night? Drunk words were sober thoughts? What did that mean? Was she finally coming around? It seemed like strange timing, as lately Lily had been venting to him about this boy James Potter. She said he was always sort of making playful jabs at her, which Severus didn't understand. How could you be mean to Lily? Even playfully? But it seemed that she liked him… He just didn't get it.
Severus continued to scribble into his book, when he heard the door open.
"I have this room reserved." He bellowed, not looking up from his steaming cauldron.
From around the corner came a very meek-looking Lily. Her hair was over her face, her arms in a twist, and she was sort of just looking down at the floor. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. Lily never entered a room without a smile. This was not like her.
"Lily?" He walked over to her. "Lily, is everything okay?"
Suddenly, a waterfall of tears began to drip from her eyes. She leapt towards Severus with open arms and embraced him. She began to sob profusely. Shaking.
"Severus… it's just not fair." She clutched at his back.
Severus awkwardly hugged her in return. "What's wrong?"
"I just, I just can't believe it. Why? Why did this have to happen? I don't understand!" She began to claw into him a bit, but Snape just cringed and beared it. He stroked her back, attempting to comfort her, but knowing he was ill-equipped to do such a thing. He was never very talented at making others feel good.
Lily just wept and wept and wept, but eventually he pushed her slightly away from himself and handed her a handkerchief from his pocket. She blew into it loudly, and tried to catch her breath.
Severus grabbed a stool for Lily to sit on, and gestured for her to do so. She did, and he pulled up a chair next to her. She continued to whimperer a bit, her shoulders going up and down.
"You really must tell me what is going on." He pulled his chair even closer to her and grabbed her hands. "Lily, speak to me."
Lily looked at Snape with those big green eyes, but something in them was different. He would have sworn he could see fear dance across them, waving a dull flag over her irises. What could be going on in this little girl to make her so terribly sad?
She swallowed hard, and lifted her wet chin. "Severus, I've got something to tell you."
He tried to remain calm, and said with as little level change in his voice as he possibly could: "Go on."
She bit her bottom lip and started twisting her rings as she had always done when she was nervous. "Severus… do you remember that night in the library?"
He found himself grinning. "Of course."
"Well, I might be, I mean I am, because I went to St. Mungos…"
Snape rubbed her hands with his thumb, coaxing her to go on. She looked straight at him, with those eyes that went right through him. "I'm pregnant, Sev."
Snape gulped.
Lily started talking quickly. "And it's all because got drunk, and we were being stupid. None of this was supposed to happen, but we were intoxicated and silly and just… gah, why did I do that? Why did we let that stuff get to us?"
Lily waited for a response, and Snape considered thinking this through, but instead decided to let all of his thoughts out. "Lily, I know this is so far from the ideal situation, I know. But you are so wonderful, and I care so deeply about you, that… it's not really a bad thing." Severus had never mentioned to Lily, but he had had dreams where they conceived, and he decided right there that if they ever did, he would know exactly what to do.
Lily was stunned at his quick response. She let go of his hands and crossed her arms. "…Wha? What do you mean? Of course it's a bad thing! I'm a teen witch who is carrying the child of a man I'm not even engaged to marry."
Snape didn't want to upset her, so he tried to explain. "No but… we're best of friends Lily, and… I mean, there are so many worse things that could happen."
"What are you talking about?"
Snape sighed. "Lily, I care more about you than anyone else. And to think that you are carrying my child, my love for you just multiples."
"Oh, Sev…" She felt as though he stomach had dropped. Those words were h e a v y.
"But Severus, we were drunk. We conceived while we were out of it, we didn't mean for this to happen."
He didn't say anything. He didn't want her to think he had been lying, that he was a stick-in-the-mud.
Seeing that he wasn't speaking, Lily continued on. "Severus, I would have to drop out of school, my education would be all for nothing. I haven't even finished my fifth year, I wouldn't be able to get a job anywhere decent. And how do you think my parents would react? Your parents? I mean, we're so young, how are we supposed to raise a child? I'm not ready to have a baby!"
"I know it will be tough, but you're so strong. And I will be there every step of the way. You… you can finish off the semester, and then go home for a bit, or get a place to stay nearby. We could get a little house off campus, and we could raise our little family there. I have money saved up from working in the summer, we're better off than you think."
She shook her head. "Severus…"
"Lily," He breathed deeply, fighting back his own tears. He lifted his hand to her face, and softly traced from her ear to her chin. Fighting the urge to kiss her. "I love you in ways I cannot even explain. The idea of you and I being connected by a child is the most wonderful thing I can think of." He laughed, and put his hand down, still trying not to cry. "Just imagining a baby with your eyes… it leaves me weak in the knees to be honest."
Lily gulped. "Severus, you don't understand. I don't think I'm strong enough. People will say things. I'll blow up like a balloon. And boys will never look at me the same."
Severus kept back the response he so wanted to say. That he would love her no matter what. Large, small, strong, weak. But instead he just said "I will always be there for your child. I shan't let any harm ever come to them or you. That will be my mission, and I am fully devoted to it." He smiled, tears beginning to swell in his eyes. "And Lily, you are strong enough. If a boy looks at you any differently, he is just a boy. A real man will stand by you. I will stand by you."
Lily knew then that Severus's feelings were significantly stronger than hers. She loved Severus, but not in the way that he loved her. Still… it was the kind of love that she so desperately needed at a time like this. She was very young, and all she wanted was to be loved by someone. And why not Severus? He was so smart, and was always looking out for Lily's best interests. He wasn't incredibly affectionate, but maybe he'd learn to be. Maybe this baby could bring him out of his shell. Maybe this baby could change everything, maybe even cause Lily to return Severus's feelings? And how lovely would that be? A little baby for Lily to moon over, for her to dress and coo at. Lily loved children. And although she was bright, she knew that at the end of the day, what she really wanted was to be a mother. So maybe she was getting to it a bit early, no matter.
"Why do you always know just what to say?"
Snape smiled through his tears. "Lily, we can do this."
"Really?" Lily waited for his response. Feeling as though Severus held the answer, as if he held Lily's world on a string and could turn it ether which way.
"Yes. Nothing would make me happier than to go through this with you. Lily, with our genes together, we would make the most tremendous child imaginable. I will not let you down with this. I will be there every single step of the way." He put his hand on her thigh. "I will put your shoes on you when you can't see your feet, I will hold your hair back when you're sick, I'll go to Honeydukes when you're craving chocolate frogs." She put his hand on top of his. "But most of all, I will love this child, and it's mother forever."
Lily finally let out a smile. "Why do you always know just what to say?"
"Because I care far too much to let you cry."
Lily bit her lip reluctantly. "And you'll be there for me?" Lily put out her pinky. "Always?"
Snape smiled. "Lily, we're almost adults, and you want to pinky swear?"
"Come on." She nodded toward her hand. "You've never broken a pinky swear before."
He curled his pinky around hers. "Always."
