Okay, I had way too much fun writing this. It's going to be a story now. :D

Here you go :]

The Secret Life of the Oreo Cakester

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Me and Eddiepuss were eatching enchiladas inside the grotto. We ignored the noise, beacause we knew it was Nessie frolicking around in our very own onion garden.

"Bellerz... theres something I havent told ya, cool cucumber."

"Why golly gee! What's a-hankerin' ya Eddiepuss?"

He was hesitant for a split second, a split second too much. I started to cry in heaving sobs, because I knew what he was about to say.

"BUT WHY?? WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?? BESIDES MAKING YOU DOO-DOO IN THE FRONT PORCH CAUSE OF A OVERDOSE OF GUACAMOLE?? DON'T LEAVE ME EDDIE!!" I sobbed.

He whistled. AW SHUCKS! He was one hot honkey tonk!

"Wangsta, don't cry. I heart cha ya cool kitty. Now, be quiet, because I don't want the Nessterz to know about this," he whispered. My eyes widened.

And there was our..... umm.... recently discovered hemaphrodite of a cutie pie skipping in our garden of onions, laughing carelessly. My oh my, did I have to hatch something so beautiful?

"The thing is," he mumbled, "I'm a--" THUMP!

"What?"

"I'm a---"

THUMPITYTHUMP!

"I CANT HEAR YOU SHMUCKUMS!!"

THUMP!!

"I'M A FENCE HOPPER! OKAY?? IM A FENCE HOPPER! DON'T DIVORCE ME!"

Suddenly something crashed in the window. WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY PEANUT BUTTER WAS THAT???

The stranger flew his cape and cried, "I AM DON PEDRITO, THE ONLY WEREPIRE IN EXISTENCE! HELLO, MY FELLOW FENCE HOPPER!"

Sure enough, he had a moustache and his hair slicked back like that weird dad from Spy Kids who's name escapes me. He was the pure definiton of a beaner.

"OH MY GOODNESS YOU ARE MY HERO!! YOU CAN EAT 13431 ENCHILADAS IN A MINUTE, RIGHT???" I was so excited. He was my hero!

"NAW!!! You are WRONG, mija! I do not eat 13431 enchiladas in a minute. I eat 13431 CAKESTERS in a minute."

"Que boberia! I do not want a record-holding CAKESTER eater dwelling in my onion farm/grotto/phantom-of-the-opera-like lair! I WANT AN ENCHILADA EATER!!!" I cried, disgusted by his very cakester-eating prescence.

"Ah, but one bite, and it is ALL it takes to switch to the weight-loss-inducing oreo cakester diet. Just try it. One bite. You will lose all of that enchilada/onion booty luggage, mama."

Then he thrust a handful of oreo cakesters into my palms. My eyes watered.

"YOU DARE TELL ME TO TURN AWAY FROM MY HERITAGE, MY LIFE, MY ENCHILADA FARM IN TEX-"

I stopped.

He had force-fed a cakester into my mouth.

I had never, never, never, never, never lived life the same way I have before.

"Oh mah goodnisss.... This is some.... some... some.... YIPPEEE!"

So then I started bouncing up and down, side to side, all the way around, like a ping pong trapped in a ping pong game with no little bouncing things in the bottom, if ya get what im digging at. YALL!!!

That was the last time I had an enchilada.

It was a new beginning, a new life, a new start in the world.

I was going to be....

An Oreo Cakester farmer.

Review! Part three coming soon, lmaooo :]