Hehe, just felt the need to update. Still no muse for Island of Secrets, le sighs. I suggest listening to the song "Awakening" by Mae while reading this chapter, I'm obsessed with it. If ya want me to send it to you, review and ask?
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And I'd leave….leave it all behind.
If you'll be here….here with me tonight.
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"The bed's empty."
"…but, you're on it."
"…"
"It's still empty."
Silence ensues and only the soft shuffle from one foot to the other echoes throughout the desolate, bare room.
"It's Cagalli's bed."
The small whish of sheets becoming entangled and pulled apart is the male's response and with a sigh he resigns his position of trying to get through. Placing his hands in his pockets he nods towards his companion that really just isn't there.
With that, he moves to take leave but not before he hears the words of an answer to his silent inquiry.
"I'll be fine…"
-
"Is…he alright?"
A swift shake of his head, his blue locks dancing along with the motion.
"Oh, poor Kira…I wish there was something I could-"
"There's nothing anything can do right now. Come on, let's go." soft petite hand holds him in place so he turns his head to acknowledge. "Lacus?"
"Just wait, Athrun."
He does so, and they stand there, listening to the wind about the opening terrace that just barely resembles the silent sobs coming from the other room.
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"It seems like the rain has stopped, Cagalli." Clutching on to the white fabric, Kira lays back down, his back upon the bedspread; eyes staring at the ceiling that only serves to stare back blankly.
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When I close my eyes to this paradox place,
I'll fly away, far away from here
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"I'll be fine…Kira? Helloooo…"
A smiling yet confused blonde haired, amber eyed beauty is waving in front of a violet eyed youth to gather his attention. Laughing before growling softy she pushes him and slowly, he comes to his senses.
"Geez, Kira-what's gotten into you?"
"…Cag-" Is this real? He reaches out to touch her, and as skin meets skin, as her eyes close in a silent bliss, eager for the touch, he pulls back as though shocked by the pure intensity of the contact. She reaches out to regain the touch but he stands up from their seated position upon a grassy field.
"Kira?"
The wind is blowing, and there are birds soaring the skies peacefully. The night is young yet passing by quickly.
He stares at her.
-
I'll get away and dream,
Dream of you…
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"Cagalli…" she isn't that taken back when he collapses back upon the ground and drapes his body upon her own, knocking them down, sprawled across the field of green. She is motionless as he sobs, already use to his bouts of tears although it has been years since the war. Memories are bound to resurface, so, as she stares at the oncoming darkening skies, and as the wind accompanies them, she slowly raises her hands and gently embraces him.
"It's okay, Kira…I'm here. I'll always be here."
He stiffens.
And then holds her tighter.
Night is coming, and he has to wonder, why is there such dread?
"Cagalli, Cagalli-you're here, here with me, Cagalli, Cagalli-you're real."
But…is she, really?
A soft chuckle. "Of course, Kira, what did you think? That I was a figment of your imagination? I hope not, if so I would think you would imagine me to be a lot more…well," She blushes prettily and he stares at her in wonderment.
"But, you're perfect."
-
When it's all said and done,
And the night has come,
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"Oh, Kira…you know I'm not perfect." She tilts her head upward so it's facing the sky directly and she breathes in.
Because I am your sister.
"The night has come."
He nods mutely.
"Don't leave me Kira, not again."
What?
…and then, she is unreachable.
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I'll disappear…
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The sheets are drenched.
And the tears he cried stain not only his face.
He chokes out her name and he clutches his throat and chest before those shaky hands make there way to grip around his surroundings.
A dream.
He cries anew.
As the silence encompasses him he strides through the bedroom and out the back door, welcoming the fresh air to brisk away his never to cease tears.
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Take flight on the wind,
Of wishing you where here,
-
He sees her smile; he sees her glowing eyes bright as the-fading light…, like a star whose life has been gone for years-light that accompanies him from the glowing sky. He closes his eyes and imagines her next to him, holding on to his arm with one hand, the other arm held up to cover the light from her eyes as she looks beyond beside him.
They are smiling; they are planning their escape, their time alone. He's nodding to her plans, and she would occasionally nudge him, asking him to take charge. He laughs, retorts; "why bother if you're man enough for the job?" and she hits him and they tumble into the room laughing.
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…and I'll fly,
Fly across the sky
-
"
"Don't say that."
"Why? It's what you are…"
"No, it's not."
"Pfft, we all know I am the older one, so just give it up-here! Catch me if you can!" She pushes him as a way to 'tag' him and he huffs in mock annoyance.
"Yeah! Real mature Cagalli!" Still, it doesn't take long for him to give chase with a bright smile on his face. He never really played tag when he was growing up, so even now, in their twenty years of age, these childish games is all they have. A way to make up for what could have been, what time they had lost.
He tackles her from behind and she giggles all the way down. "No fair! Get off me you oaf!"
He slumps down beside her, propping an elbow about the land under them, resting his chin in his open palm to have a good look at her heavily breathing form. "You need to exercise more, sis."
"Shut up."
He laughs yet continues to study her.
"What!"
He is startled for a moment and then laughs nervously muttering a 'nothing' in between. He repositions himself so he is lying beside her as they stare up at the sky.
"I should get back to the office…"
-
And I'll leave,
Leave it all behind,
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"Hmm, a whole country does need you."
"Do you need me?"
-
If you'd be… here,
Here with me tonight,
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"I wouldn't know what to do without you."
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I'll be fine, I'll be fine,…I'll be fine
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The breeze is cool, freezing and piercing even.
He snaps open his eyes and his vision is blurry.
A memory.
It's dark now so he walks back in to the vacant home, trudges over to his one bag, zips it and slugs it over his shoulder. He walks by photos of her, of them, and passes by belongings filled with her scent, and he wishes, he wishes…
He closes the door to the home.
Their home.
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I'll disappear…
Take flight on the wind of wishing you were here,
Fading light…
Like a star whose life has been gone for years
-
The house no longer sees the car as he drives away, the skies are now crying with tears of their own, and the darken skies are absorbed by the bitterness of this one being's grieving.
He takes shelter at a hotel filled with memories, the down pour of the rain pounding at him; he is escorted to his room wordlessly. He opens the door and the thunder from outside illuminates the cold, stuffy room.
How could he have ever brought her to a place such as this?
He sits on the bed roughly and he digs through his pockets until he finds what he has been searching for.
A tattered up note that has been read one too many times.
Ours again. Together Forever. Meet me where it all began. See you there on 18 May CE 75.
C.
He wants to rip it apart, but he can't bring himself to it.
It's the sole reminder that he killed her.
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…and I'll fly,
Fly across the sky,
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"Marry me."
Hesitance.
"I-"
"Okay."
But a whisper.
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"He's not picking up his phone, maybe we shouldn't have left him, what if…you don't think he would, Oh my…we shouldn't have ever-"
"Kira is not so weak. Don't think so little of him Lacus." He is holding her to calm her, to calm himself.
"Don't you miss her? You loved her, you loved her. How could you be here? Be here in such a way with me, so…composed, Athrun." her voice is soft yet demanding.
He doesn't answer as she stares at him, incredulous. His eyes says it all, "Kira isn't the only one that is hurting…"and she wraps her small hands around him and he buries his face within her neck.
Caressing his locks as he shakes, his muffle voice reaches her ears but she dares not respond.
"Yet, he has reasons to cry three times over."
A lover, a brother, a friend.
They knew that now.
It was a little too late.
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"Kira…" he reaches throughout the dark, and he swears, for a moment, their hands intertwine.
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…and I'll leave, leave it all behind,
If you'd be here… here with me tonight,
-
"Why-whydid you go…?"
"Kira…come back to me…"
"You come back to me."
There is no answer and he lays there in the dark mutely before slamming his fists into the sheets while turning over to bury his face into the covers.
His muffled sobs only for her to hear.
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I'll be fine,
I'll be fine,
I'll be fine…
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Confusing, I know, but :shrugs: that's how I roll.
Review if you care.
