Bonds
by Impervious Marr

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Summary: Thieves working to their last nerves, Grimmjow and Ichigo face trials and tribulations in the form of sexy rivals and balding old men - all of that without being caught. This is the story of their improbable friendship. GrimmUlqui, AizenIchi. AU.

Warnings: Future MxM, mentions of MxM, violence, swearing, crack and stupid not-really-there humor.

A/N: Yay, second chapter:D Thanks for the reviews and favs! x3 And the alert people, too. I'm still new to this. Right, about the updates: I have one week's worth of holidays coming up, so I'll try to finish up as many chapters as I could because the week after that I'll be extremely busy. I'll try to update at least once a week. If not, well, that sucks.

I do accept anonymous reviews. I forgot to enable the option when I first posted this, so…

Review Response:

Bittersweet: Well, er, I'm guessing since they're in college/university/whatever, and in their 20s and stuff… I guess it warrants Ishida in finding a part-time job. So he's a policeman because he likes to be all 'righteous' and stuff, so to speak. I think. I don't know, I like Ishida being a policeman o.o Thanks for the review!

My full appreciation also goes to the rest for encouraging me to continue. And the favs. Eee. :3 Enjoy the chapter… Hopefully. Crack abound.

And I do not owns YouTube. :3 And Bleech. :3

-

Today was like one of those days when he felt like bashing his fist into someone's head for no apparent reason. Or maybe for the fun of it. He's been doing this for the past few months ever since he moved into this sorry little town, who was he to stop now? That wasn't Grimmjow's style, no way.

Unfortunately, every single alleyway was deserted of people, and he wondered distantly if they decided to avoid the blue-haired man during these kind of nights. Well, his main objective wasn't really to scare away every little piece of trash around the area, but as it was...

Heck, this inflated his over-sized ego to greater heights.

The sound of punches being thrown caught his attention. At this, Grimmjow's grin went wider; the only thing he liked better than getting into fights and sex was interrupting them - and interrupting is what he'll be doing.

But for now, maybe he'll just skulk in the shadows to get a grip on the situation. And chew on his chewing gum. This was really good gum.

From this distance, he could see about a dozen or so fucktards, fighting against - Grimmjow's eyebrow cocked in amusement. Who was stupid enough to get into enough trouble that required a whole gang to beat the shit out of him? His lips twitched, half in amusement and half because he was impressed. The only other person who could do that was himself, and that was saying something.

It really didn't look like a fair fight, though. Having enough of waiting, he stepped out into a lighted part of the narrow street, lights making his blue hair gleam.

"Oi, fucktards!"

"Huh?"

All of them turned around, but the biggest and ugliest fucker of all - the leader, he supposed - breathed in noisily. As he spoke, spit flew everywhere, and Grimmjow had to dodge one particularly large drop.

Not to be a girl and all, but that's just ew, man.

"What'dya call me, punk?" He scrutinized the blue-haired boy in front of him a little bit more, before smirking. "Yer just a lil' one! Whatcha gonna do, huh?"

"Boss!" one of his lackeys spoke up. "I recognize that kinda blue hair - it's that bitch everyone's been tryin' ta squash!"

"Ohrelly?"

Oh dear god. I'm sure nobody would care if I stomp his face into the next century.

"Well that just makes everything easier!" The lunk of a man looked as if it was his lucky day, and took Grimmjow's expression as a sign of fear. The man must be blind, at that. He took a piece of wood threateningly, pointing it at Grimmjow. "I think I rememba yer name, punk. Let's see who's ththronger, Greemjowe Jagarjagan!"

Grimmjow almost choked on his gum, spitting it out a split second later.

What the fuck!?

The silence that engulfed the place was deafening.

Even the lackeys were struggling not to laugh, and wondered what they should be laughing at at the moment - the mispronunciation of 'stronger' or Grimmjow's butchered name. In fact, there was a sudden burst of laughter in the background, but Grimmjow didn't care about that.

"What the fucking shit did you just call me, you fucking dickweed!?"

Grimmjow wasted no time to fulfill his previous promise. He went sailing, knocking the large man down with one foot attached to the man's face, making sure he got a taste of what it felt like to be in fucking pain. "Goddamn, you fucking retard! It's Grimmjow Jeagerjacques,Jeagerjacques, what the fucking shitis Jagarjagan!?"

"Boss!" The other men screamed like little girlies, watching as their leader was taken down by a kid half his size.

"Shit, boss!"

"Get it fuckin' right before you say it out loud! I was thinkin' of letting you walk off with your life," he whispered with a maniacal tone, before shouting, "But forget it! Eat my heels, you son of a -"

"Boss! Hang in there!" The men started to charge to save the guy's life. Grimmjow was about to turn and hit the first guy who went flying to him, but blinked when an orange-haired dude flew past him, landing a well timed punch to the gangster's face.

Well, shit. Looks like said 'victim' wasn't really a pushover as he thought he was. But it must be shitty to be moving in that condition - Grimmjow spotted a bruise or two before it disappeared under the kid's dirtied shirt.

The boy spat to the side, pausing before grinning at him, Grimmjow - and the blue-haired male understood.

Time to bring the house down.

-

2

First Encounter

-

-

Ichigo tapped his pen against the edge of his desk, legs pulled up to the spin-able chair he was sitting on. The assignment was really killing his brain, but he didn't really want to do much other than relax. His exams were far away, there wasn't really anything pressing to do at the moment, his next class was next week and Hat and Clogs gave the order to lay low.

Fuck I'm bored.

He never really took well to boredom. That's why he finished his homework early, that's why he did bulk of the chores, that's why he was always tapping his pen, if to just fill the silence with something because noise was better to think about.

But as it was, there was nothing he could debate about on his paper - out of ideas, out of ideas, need some ideas - so he was bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

At least Grimmjow was taking a nap. Wait... What the fuck was he doing taking a nap at a time like this? Ichigo pushed his chair closer to the couch, and reached a foot out to nudge the blue-haired man awake.

"Oi, Grimmjow."

"... Fucking shit... You call me... 'Weed..."

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow, amused. Sleep-talking Grimmjow was always amusing.

"Oi, Grimmjow. Wake up, goddamn it, I'm bored," Ichigo said in monotone.

Grimmjow snarled, turning his body to the other side. Then he spoke again. "... Walk off... Son of a -"

"Grimmjow!" Ichigo shouted, kicking the man and Grimmjow yelped, jumping off from the couch and crashing to the floor.

When he got back up, Ichigo was laughing like a fucktard. Grimmjow was still too sleepy to make a big deal out of it, so he just grumbled and crawled back into the couch, sighing.

"What were you dreaming about?" Ichigo asked, after the laughter subsided. Grimmjow waved a nonchalant hand, shrugging.

"Eh, just the time we first met."

"Oh, man, that was hilarious. 'Greemjowe Jagarjagan'," Ichigo repeated, then laughed as Grimmjow snarled like a wounded kitty. "Just joking, man. But for a second there I seriously thought you were picking up a chick named Weed or something."

"It's Dickweed, not Weed, moron," Grimmjow corrected, and then rubbed his eyes. "What'dyou want, anyway?"

"I was bored."

"Figured as much." If it was a year ago, Grimmjow would've kicked Ichigo in the balls for waking him up just because he was fucking bored. Still would, actually, if he wasn't so sleepy. The funny thing about Grimmjow was that he didn't take well to losing sleep. "So, what do you need, huh?"

"Dunno. It's your dinner duty tonight."

"Fuck, so it is." Grimmjow grinned, getting back into the right tempo. "What're you craving for, oh great Strawberry?"

Deciding not to comment on his nickname for once, Ichigo pondered. "Well. You on duty means..." Ichigo's eyes snapped wide open, and he brandished his pen threateningly towards Grimmjow. The blue-haired man had an expression synonymous with 'WTFLOL?', but Ichigo didn't care. "No creativity."

Grimmjow blinked, and then grinned slyly. Oh.

"But you complained about the lack of 'creative' just yesterday night," Grimmjow cackled, putting his hands at the back of his head as he rested.

"Fuck that. You being creative always ends up with me having to puke out the next bio-weapon."

"Aw, berry-head -"

"No buts, goddamn. I still want to keep my digestive system intact." Ichigo stood up and went to their kitchen, while Grimmjow let out a manical laugh. He made himself busy for the next few minutes, and a comfortable silence passed over them, before Ichigo went back to the living room.

He sat down on his chair, and Grimmjow sensed something was wrong when Ichigo stared at him calmly.

Fuck. He couldn't have.

"Grimmjow Jeagerjacques," Ichigo started calmly, and immediately Grimmjow knew that it wasn't good. Ichigo was never calm. In a sense. That kind of calm, anyway, unless... "There are some things in this world you just can't touch."

The emphasis made Grimmjow nearly wince, so he tried for nonchalance. "What're you talkin' 'bout, berry-head?"

It died in the face of the Ichigo Stare™.

The orange-head grinned disarmingly (shitshitshit) and pointed rather cheerfully to the kitchen. "My chocolates."

Shitshitshitshit-

"Yeah, what about them?"

"I told you, Grimmjow." Ichigo's smile twitched once as he tilted his head. "You can't touch them, or look through them, or even breathe them, goddamn, and what do I find? The whole stash is just gone." Grimmjow immediately went on the defensive.

"I did not look through your chocolates -"

Ichigo's grin twitched again.

" - shit. Okay, you got me. But you know your chocolates are just toogood, Ichigo -"

He cracked his knuckles.

" - err, we can make a compromise, Ichigo. Don't need to get hasty -"

Ichigo didn't stop there. He stretched his limbs and muscles while Grimmjow inched away noticeably. He knew that Ichigo was fully capable of dishing out heavy duty pain, and said pain just triples when Ichigo was mad about chocolates.

So Grimmjow took the easy way out, cowering in the face of what he couldn't face off. For now.

" –You know what? I think I'll pick some from the store rightnow. Yeah, I'll do that," Grimmjow said distractingly, and not waiting for a response, he stood up and started grabbing his jacket, wallet and keys. "And I'll buy the groceries too. You just sit tight, do your assignment, and I'll cook something, er, non-creative today. Like pasta." Grimmjow grabbed his shoes, too, and ran for his life. "Bye, sweetheart!"

Ichigo grinned, giving himself a mental pat on the back for getting better at scaring Grimmjow shitless.

Oh wait, shit.

Now he had to find some other entertainment.

-

Grimmjow resisted the urge to pout. Really, he was chased out of his own apartment (admittedly, it was his fault for not resisting the chocolates. But they were just too good and Ichigo never really ate them anyway) and he was now driving through the streets of Karakura City, dodging passer-bys and old people who didn't bother to watch if there was an incoming car or not.

He dreaded the day when he'd be old and balding. Maybe he'll get into a fist-fight he can't win before he hit 40 - that was a nice thought, but quickly squashed it down. His ego wouldn't let him take a fight dying.

He drove his car smoothly into the parking lot of the hypermarket, ignoring the longing glances situated on his car and the interested glances sent his way in favor of focusing on his task ahead. Ichigo would kill him if he didn't get it right. Of course he'd have to stop by the candy shop later to get some of the harder stuff, but for now, this place was alright.

He already had something in mind for tonight. And shit, that just sounded wrong.

While he strode into the place and picked up a basket, his fight-sensitive ears from years of experience picked up the sound of punches being thrown. A fight in a freakin' hypermarket? No way! Getting his camera-phone on standby, he took a few steps to the left, finally encountering a black-haired chick with green eyes beating up a sleazy-looking dude.

He recorded the whole thing, and when the dark-haired individual noticed him, Grimmjow noticed that it wasn't a chick. It was a dude.

Well, fuck.

He grinned at the confrontation that was soon to come.

-

Goldfish, goldfishums, and goldfishies.

-

The Kisuke Hypermarket

Ulquiorra paced inside this place called a 'hypermarket'. At least the area was clean up to his standards, so he didn't want to complain much, but it still didn't dismiss the fact that it was run by people like trash. The staff has been oogling at him since he got here, and he didn't like the fact that he was unnerved by it. Ulquiorra Schiffer did not get unnerved by some creepy stares from people-trash.

Then again, he never really liked stepping out in public. It was kind of sad, really, that the only people that Aizen-sama trusted to buy him food were far and few in between. It didn't help that Ulquiorra was one of those people, and the others were... Occupied.

And it really, really didn't help that Aizen-sama had a strange sense of humor - he insisted that Ulquiorra have a taste of what it felt like to be in the outside world. Well, fuck him.

Well, not really. He was obedient, not obsessed and definitely not in love with the man. They got along well, and it was strictly a workplace type of relationship between the boss and his subordinate, and that was just fine with him.

But still.

The next person to ogle at him got a full blast of the Ulquiorra Glare. The girl 'eep'ed noticeably and shrunk away, blushing.

Ugh.

Ulquiorra quickly started perusing through his head for the shopping list, just a few unimportant things that Aizen-sama requested. He was sure most of them were Gin's idea. Damn the fox-faced creep. Who in their right mind wanted leek out of the blue?

-

Sometime earlier

He was to report to Aizen-sama's office. He surmised it had something to do about the Kuroyagi assault; so he was already prepared for such a thing to happen. When he arrived, though, the thought was completely thrown out of his mind.

"Ulquiorra," Aizen-sama started solemnly, and Ulquiorra couldn't help but to sense a burst of giddiness. He was happy to serve, he was happy to serve... "...I want you to buy some leek."

The giddiness abruptly died.

Ulquiorra stared at Aizen-sama as if he couldn't comprehend the order. Or the man recently grew two heads. When his mind got back into gear, he stared some more.

For one thing, he knew that Aizen-sama didn't consume the stuff. So what the fuck was this!?

Aizen-sama seemed to sense his current blank situation, and quirked a smirk. "Ulquiorra?"

"...Yes, Aizen-sama." His voice sounded even more mechanical if that was possible, and he cleared his throat. "I will... Order it right now."

"No, no, I want you to buy it from the local hypermarket."

If the leek thing didn't blow his mind, this one definitely did.

"There's a couple of things I want you to pick up as well. Gin, give him the list. "

As he exited with a blanker than blank stare, he could faintly make out the laughter of one sadistic megalomaniac and a conniving two-faced bitch with silver-hair, in the background. Agh.

-

Present Time

As Ulquiorra had a mental flashback, a man's voice brought him up short.

"You look a lil' lost there, baby-face."

Ulquiorra froze.

He turned around very, very slowly, face impassive but his knuckles twitched. He let out two breaths erratically - a sign that he was shocked, in a bad way, and what the fucking shit did that piece of trash just call me!?

"You're a pretty little lady, babe. C'mon, tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help, yeah?" The man smiled like a pervert, and Ulquiorra felt his control snap.

Was the man fucking blind, or was it just him? He was almost as tall as any other normal tall guys, and he didn'thave boobs, goddamn it, and he wore guyclothing!

Now, Ulquiorra wasn't the type of man to be extreme in his actions. But coupled with the previous events and the staring and the goddamn baby-face shit he had to go through, it wasn't really any wonder that at the next second, the man was cleanly thrown to the other side of the aisle, landing painfully against the counter, with bruises all over his face and a painful kick to his balls.

All the others stared, before moving to their own business when Ulquiorra glared threateningly. He needed to shoot down the cameras in the hypermarket, too. If Aizen-sama had a footage of that, he'll never live it down.

"Whoah, shit! This is so going on YouTube!"

Ulquiorra turned once at the profanity, and stared.

Wow, his day just got better and better.

A blue-haired man was not too far away,in a blatant display of recording the whole scene using his camera-phone. Ulquiorra stared a bit more - he did a lot of staring today, didn't he? - and his mind kicked into gear.

"You, there." Ulquiorra frowned when the man only grinned, cocking an eyebrow.

As he stepped up to the man, stuffing his hands into his pockets, he noticed that the guy had a slim, muscled build, and maybe only a bit taller than him - their heights matched somewhat. Strange blue hair with blue eyes and a pretty sadistic grin. He gauged the man's ability, somewhat wary.

"Delete that footage."

The grin never left the guy's face - in fact, it only seemed to grow wider. Ulquiorra twitched in annoyance.

"What if I don't want to, huh, pretty boy?"

Ulquiorra twitched again. He wouldn't admit it, but he wasn't about to throw this guy off to the next aisle too, because he wasn't some sleazy looking guy who looked at him perversely.

Long story short, okay, this guy was attractive, but he was quickly becoming the number one annoyance in his soon-to-die list.

"Delete that," he repeated forcefully, and was unnerved when the guy just shrugged nonchalantly, sticking a tongue out.

"I said no."

Ulquiorra didn't growl - instead, he went straight for the kill, aiming a punch at the guy. He'd get that phone and break it into half, damn it. What came next shocked him to the core.

The guy caught his hand.

He whistled, looking impressed. "Nice one, I don't meet many people who can do that kind of thing. But sorry man, I'm keepin' that video." Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes, lips thinning. "Yo, dude, relax. Whoah!"

The man dodged his next kick and punch, swerving to the side. Ulquiorra saw a flash of a leg heading straight at him and he blocked it. They exchanged multiple blows, and Ulquiorra felt a sense of somethingunder the deep pits of his stomach.

That's strange...

Of course, he had to end the fight eventually. Ulquiorra slammed his whole body into the guy in a full-body blow, knocking both of them down as Ulquiorra scrambled a feel on the guy's pockets. He took the phone, and right in front of the man's eyes, he broke it into two pieces with a swift move of his hands.

"What the fuck, man!?"

Ulquiorra growled, getting off the man and striding away without looking back, leaving the man bruised, dazed, and now without a phone.

The man caused a scene, though. Aizen-sama would definitely catch wind of this, and he will seriously not be able to live it down.

Ugh. Fine. Whatever.

"Trash," Ulquiorra murmured spitefully, continuing his original mission - grocery shopping for Aizen-sama. Then he was getting out of this place. He was going to take a bath, and then he would ask Aizen-sama to do his own goddamn shopping next time, regardless of threats and what not.

And then he was going to hunt the stupid guy with the stupid blue eyes and the stupid blue hair down.

Then kill him slowly.

-

Grimmjow picked up his phone, rolling his eyes. Honestly, the guy didn't have to get all prissy about having his face posted everywhere on YouTube. He was just kidding anyway - he didn't need to go all out in destroying his fucking phone.

Oh well. He was due for a new one, anyway. Grumbling, he extracted the memory and the SIM card from the wreckage, and decided that maybe he will fucking post that video on YouTube just for revenge.

Stupid guy.

And he even had the nerve to call him trash!

Grimmjow didn't know why he was moody about the whole thing, but it frustrated him to no end. Maybe it was those stupid green eyes. They were just... Too... He didn't know what, but they were waytoo green.

When he got back to the apartment, groceries and chocolates in tow, Ichigo was amused at his grumpiness, but didn't comment on it because he was busy with his assignment. Seems the guy just got inspiration. The questions came up when he was chopping up the beef for the promised pasta, and Ichigo already stopped scribbling furiously, watching him cook.

"So what happened, chocolate bit you in the ass or something?"

There were a couple of poisonous mushrooms he stored on the top cupboard for his 'creativity' time. Grimmjow wondered if he'd be charged for murder if he 'accidentally' slipped an overdose into the pasta. Just to shut Ichigo up.

But nah.

"Shut up," Grimmjow gruffly replied, dumping everything into a bowl, starting on seasoning the tomato sauce next. Then he turned to his long time buddy, and threw him the two pieces of his talking device. Ichigo caught it with ease, blinking.

"Let's just say I need a new phone."

-

A/N: Bahahaha! Grimm and Ichi's first meeting! And Grimm and Ulqui's first meeting! Yes, my plan is coming together slowly... -insert evil laugh here-

But seriously, though. xD I'm worried if I didn't hit Ulquiorra's character right. And I think I fucked up a bit of Grimmjow during their fight... But you know. I guess it all can't be perfect. Yes, Ichigo does love chocolates. He also like karashi mentaiko, but chocolate is easier to find. x3

Have a nice day everyone!