Karen's Note: Hiya peeps. It's Karen here, at your service. I know Jodie makes me all whiny in her chapter (Jodie: I do NOT!!!!!), so I get to make her have a mental breakdown. BUAHAHAHA!!!! EVIL KAREN!!!!! Well, anyways, for those of you who don't know, Jodie is ticklish. Yeah. So the next time you see her, TICKLE HER!!!!!!!! WHOOO!!! Oh yeah, you don't know what she looks like so you can't tickle her...Awww…Okay… Um…(--awkward silence--) Hi. Can I help you? --gigglefartgigglesnortprodlaughticklecackle-- I know I don't make any sense, but that's just me being me so, ROCK ON PPL!!!!! And I know I rock and you know it too (Jodie: Yeah, right. --snort--)!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!!!! GO KAREN!!!!!!!!! (Oh yeah, and if you don't get the whole "that's so bubbly" thing, go read the book Pretties.) Jodie's Note: Just to make things clear…I've NEVER had a mental break down before and probably never will and everything in here is completely fictitious (did I spel it rite?)
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. Oh yeah, except me. (Thankfully.) Oh, and I also own JODIE AND ALL THE SMORES AND-AND CELLOS AND CHOCOLATE AND LAVENDER STUFF IN THE WORLD!! BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wish…Hmph. Well, anyways, if I lost you in the whole "I own everything" part, I still don't own nothing (sadly.) I know. Feel so sorry for Karen. sob Well, no need to dwell on unhappy things…………………... BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BANG!
"OMIGAWD IT'S DUMBLEDORE!!!!!!!!" screamed Jodie (though she'll never admit it because she says she doesn't scream, she yells in a high-pitched voice. --snort-- Yeah, right.)
There in front of us stood the one and only…(--drum roll--)…Dumbledore (!!!), in all his white bearded, long nosed glory. He also had that black, burnt, shriveled hand of his. (Bleargh…Ewww…) He also looked a whole lot more tired and old and wrinkly than he did in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire… A sudden thought crossed my mind.
"Jodie, just a thought, ummm…is the old dude in front of us the real Dumbledore, as in the Dumbledore described in the book by J. K. Rowling just he's come back from the dead, or is he the fake Dumbledore, as in that dude who acts as Dumbledore but just now he has been brainwashed and thinks he is the real Dumbledore?" I whispered urgently to her. "Just a thought…" I said, my voice trailing off as I actually looked at Jodie's face.
Jodie did not respond to me, as she was currently in a state of self-denial. She was whispering to herself, "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real. Jodie, this is just a dream. Or maybe it's a mirage. Maybe it'll…disappear. Just make it go away. Karen, make it go away!"
As she said this, she shook me repeatedly while never taking her eyes off of Dumbledore.
"God Jodie, let go of me," I said, pulling myself from her grasp. "Chill. Sheesh. It's just Dumbledore. Remember that letter we both got? Well, obviously, he's come to take us back to Hogwarts." I looked at him and said, "Right?"
"Well, yes, of course. Why else would I be here?" Dumbledore stated, slightly bemused.
Self-realization struck me. (--hit-- Owww…) OMG! HE'S DUMBLEDORE AND HE'S TAKING ME --- ERRR…US --- TO HOGWARTS!!!!! "Ha!" I exclaimed at Jodie. "Who told me he wasn't going to come? Huh? And who owes me five bucks? HA! Pay up you!"
Jodie, at this point, seemed to have pulled herself together and was mentally stable, at least enough to ignore me and be curious enough to ask, "Well, why'd you choose us? I mean, we aren't really special in any way or anything…Are we? Oooo, oooo! Oh yeah...probably, jsut like in those stories, I suddenly have a secret talent that I just don't know about, right? --snort-- yeah, right!"
I sighed. (Is it just me, or have I been doing a lot of sighing these past twenty-four hours?) Jodie, Jodie, Jodie. She definitely has sarcasm down to an art.) "Jodie, this is real. Stop kidding around. I really want to go to Hogwarts! That would be so totally bubbly! Just one question Professor Dumbledore, wait, can I call you Dumbly? Cool. Well anyways, why WERE we chosen?" (oooo…the CHOSEN ONES!!!!)
Jodie grumbled unhappily off in a corner, "I just said that…"
Dumbledore said to himself, "Dumbly? Hmm…Dumbly…Has a nice ring to it…Not to mention it makes me feel a few hundred years younger…What? Ah yes, well, the Ministry of Magic decided to look through the students in California and your school stood out, because it is so well known for its prestige among the Muggles, and then, we found your records. You are said to be an extremely promising cello prodigy, while Miss Chiang here is said to be an accomplished first degree black belt. We don't have this-this-this kung-foo-"
"It's martial arts," Jodie mumbled under her breath.
If old Dumbly had heard her, he didn't make it apparent. He continued, "-subject that Muggles do, and we most certainly don't play instruments. I hope most sincerely that you two will help teach the other students at Hogwarts your wonderful talents. And then there are your grades. Ah, I saw with my own two eyes the smattering ofdelightful 'Outstanding's you both have. I noted that there were a few 'Acceptable's, but never mind those. You two must be brilliant students. Hogwarts is delighted and privileged to receive you both."
Meanwhile, a feverish whispered conversation was going on between Jodie and me.
" 'Outstanding'? I never got an 'Outstanding'!!! We don't even use 'Outstanding's!!!"
" ' Outstanding'….Hmm…Oh! I've got it! He's thinks zeroes are O's for 'Outstanding'!"
"And A's are only 'Acceptable' to him…That explains a lot…We do have a lot of zeroes…Well, what do we do now?!!"
"Should we go tell him?"
"We can't just go tell him. Then we won't be able to go to Hogwarts!!! And I really, really, really want to go!!!"
"I know, we just won't tell. I won't tell if you won't. Deal?"
"Deal."
We did our trademark secret handshake to seal the deal. (--pinkieshaketwistslapclasphandsjumpupanddownboingboingboing--) The deal is whoever breaks our promise either gets secret weapon-ed or kung-foo-ed. I like it. Simple. Easy to remember. (Haha! Captain Jack! Am I a genius, or am I a genius?)
I glanced at Dumbledore. He wore a confused look on his face. Jodie and I seem to produce this reaction in a lot of people. I wonder why….
"What should we say??" I asked.
"I don't know. You do it," whispered Jodie.
"No, you do it!!" I whispered.
"No, YOU do it!!!" she yelled-whispered back.
I was pretty sure that if I didn't agree right then and there, Jodie'd kung-foo me, and I'd have to resort to my secret weapon. I didn't really want to do that in front of old Dumbly, as he was the one who was to bring us to Hogwarts AND he was the headmaster of Hogwarts. But any other day…LET ME AT HER!!!!!
"Grr…Fine. I'll do it. --mumblestupidmumbleungratefullittlegrumble--"
I put on that disarming angelic, turned to Dumbledore and said, "Yes, we do have great records, don't we?"
Dumbledore, the poor confused thing, said, "Erm…yes, of course…"
"Well, what are we waiting for? We've wasted enough time all ready, let's go!" I chirped happily. This time, I didn't have to fake excitement.
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Obviously, we Apparated to Hogwarts. I mean, if we didn't, this wouldn't be Harry Potter at all. Dumbledore told us little liars to grab onto his arms, and away we went!! It felt like one of those roller coasters where you sit in a teacup and it spins you around and around until you can't tell up from down and the sky from the ground (or in Jodie's words, "I see purple elephants!!!"), just this rollercoaster was just way out of control. (Wheeeee!!!! Spin, spin, spin!!!!! WHOOOoooo…ooo…not…feeling…too… good…ughhh…) I love roller coasters, and I pride myself in never throwing up. Apparating isn't a roller coaster, so it DOES NOT (!!) count. (Jodie: hehe...yes it does.)
After Jodie finished laughing her head off at me throwing up and I gained back some of my much hurt dignity, we realized that we were standing in the courtyard of Hogwarts. There were majestic trees around the courtyard, with the occasional owl flying above us. The old and proud castle towered over us, grand and inviting. Oh yeah, and there were about a hundred people staring at us. (Yeah. Great way for me to make a first impression, huh?
Jodie saw them and immediately blocked me form their view and said to them, waving them away, "Yeah people, nothing to see here. Just move on. Nothing to see hear, but a girl puking up her dinner".
We strode across the courtyard to Dumbledore's headquarters, me and Jodie hiding behind the shadow and charismatic aura of the great Headmaster Dumbledore. Because we were with him, no one bothered (aka laughed at) us. I have a feeling it would have been a whole different situation without him. Dumbledore led us through the many hallways and winding, not to mention moving, staircases, until we ended up in front of the two incredibly revolting-looking gargoyles with squashed noses and eyes that stuck out to the point that they almost looked like they were going to pop out. Yep. They were the guardians of the entrance to Dumbledore's office. I heard Jodie whisper "Ewww….", which is amazing because she has a little brother that does all the nasty things a little brother does, so you can imagine how ugly they were.
"Acid pop," Dumbledore stated imperiously.
The gargoyles sneered at us, making them even more ugly (if that was even possible,) bowed to Dumbledore, and moved aside, revealing a winding staircase that went up and up and up some more. We stepped onto the steps, Jodie and I squished together on one step ("Owww, Jodie, that's my foot!!!" "Sorry!!!" "No, Jodie, that's my ankle!!!!!!!"), and Dumbledore on a step in front of us. The staircase suddenly jerked upwards, almost sending me falling down the long, long way to the ground. (--gulp-- Scary…) After that, I clung to Jodie's arm. ("God Karen, let go!!! You're cutting off my blood circulation!!!) Amazingly, Dumbledore still managed to look regal and dignified despite all this bravado. I just don't get how he does it. We ended up looking into Dumbledore's interesting headquarters, complete with weird-looking shiny objects and a smoking cauldron with shimmering contents in one corner. Over there on the shelf was the Sorting Hat. Boy, did it look ugly and old, that's for sure. There was just one thing missing…
Fawkes swooped in out of nowhere, dazzling and entrancing us with his iridescent feathers of deep scarlet and gold, to land on Dumbledore's arm.
"Ahhh, there you are Fawkes. I'd like you to meet Karen and Jodie. They are to be the new exchange students for the experiment," Dumbledore said to the stunning phoenix.
Fawkes peered at us with his bottomless blue eyes that seemed to be able to look into our very souls, lifted his head, and sang a single, pure note towards the ceiling that reverberated around the room. It was so sweet it seemed to touch the very center of my being and my heart ached with the beauty of it. When the last whispers of the note died away and Fawkes once again settled his serene gaze on us, Dumbledore smiled.
"Fawkes thinks you will do well," said Dumbledore. "I knew my choices were well made."
Much to my embarrassment, I blushed at the praise, knowing full well I did not have abundant 'Outstanding's, while Jodie mumbled something incoherent and scuffed her shoe on the ground. We were both in the same boat. I could hear a little tune repeating over and over in my head going "Liar, liar, pants on fire." This was not a very good beginning to our school year. If this was how Hogwarts was going to feel, I'd rather stay home and not know about it at all. Home! My parents! How could I have forgotten?!!
"Omigawd, what about our parents?" I blurted out. "They'll be freaking out right now! What if they've all ready called the police!?!?"
"Well, about that…We, erm, well, we had to cast a spell on them," stated Dumbledore uncomfortably.
"What??!!! You cast a spell on MY PARENTS?!!! What for??!!! I'll give you 60 seconds to explain until I have Jodie kung-foo you!!! And it better be good," I exclaimed furiously.
Jodie was having a similar experience.
"Leave my parents out of this!!! I agreed to come to your school, not that you could BRAINWASH my PARENTS!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM???!!!!" Jodie shouted at old Dumbly, who was looking a little embarrassed and uncomfortable, and yet he still looked noble. (This whole noble/regal/dignified thing is getting to me. Maybe that's HIS secret weapon.)
Dumbledore said in a calm voice, "I understand why you are reacting the way you are and therefore I will not give you detention for shouting at the headmaster. However, it is curious to me why the thought of me hurting your parents ever crossed your mind. Would I really do that?"
Now it was Jodie and my turn to be embarrassed. I felt the redness and heat spread rapidly across my face and neck, until I was sure I was as red as Ron's hair. Jodie, on the other hand, had turned an interesting shade of hot pink.
"Well," she stuttered, "they are our parents…"
"Exactly," replied Dumbledore. "So why would I hurt them?"
"Erm…" I mumbled.
"Erm…" Jodie agreed.
"We…Maybe…sigh Sorry. I think the whole 'Hogwarts is real' thing is getting to us," I said sadly.
"Yeah, what she said," said Jodie, nodding forlornly.
"Could you…explain what exactly did you do to them then?" I asked hesitantly.
"Why, of course," Dumbledore replied amiably. "A group of wizards from the Ministry of Magic simply cast a spell over the necessary people which made them believe you were on a trip. They won't realize the amount of time of time you are gone, so they won't, as you put it, freak out."
"Who's in the category of 'necessary people'?" I asked, curious and skeptical.
"Well…almost everyone you know," said Dumbledore, uncomfortable yet again.
Jodie whistled. "That's a lot of people," she said.
"Where do they think we've gone?" I inquired.
"Well, wherever you were going to go next for school or a program or some event like that. Trust me, nobody will know you are gone. We will all be happy and content," said Dumbledore gently.
Apparently, happy and content rang a bell for Jodie.
"My dog! Eskie! What about him? Was HE included in the spell?? He will definitely notice if I'm gone for a whole year. Oh, my poor liddle baby…What'll we do?!!!" Jodie exclaimed.
Jodie usually doesn't get so emotional to the point of baby talk, but her dog's an exception. Whoever is between her and her dog, watch out. She'll kick some serious butt.
"Unfortunately, we did not include animals of any sorts in the spell, and we cannot remove it and cast it again. If we try to cast an individual spell on your dog, I'm afraid it will interfere with the other, larger spell. I'm sorry to say, there is nothing we can do," said Dumbledore.
"Oh yes you can. I won't let my dog die of depression while my family wonders what in the world is wrong with him!!! Let me bring him to Hogwarts. He can stay with me," Jodie stated with finality.
"Well, dogs aren't usually allowed on campus, I mean, after all, we must have standards of some sort…" Dumbledore said.
"Cats and frogs and owls are allowed!! What's wrong with a dog?" Jodie asked angrily.
"Well, you see, cats and frogs and owls don't bark," Dumbledore reminded Jodie.
"That's it!! If you don't let me keep my dog, I'm not going to stay here. I'll go home!!" Jodie stated, while I hoped fervently Dumbledore would allow Eskie to stay because I knew Jodie well enough to know that she would actually leave THE Hogwarts for her dog.
Dumbledore sighed. "All right," he said, "I will allow you to keep your Eskie here at Hogwarts. But he must act primly and listen."
"Deal," said Jodie.
I had to stifle a snort that was threatening to bubble out because, I mean, Eskie's just a dog. Since when did dogs act primly???
I was venturous enough to ask, "If you're going to get Jodie's dog, will you get some of my things for me along the way?"
Dumbledore sighed again. Today was definitely not going the way he had planned it. Hey, he should have expected it. It's what Jodie and I do.
