Bill Adama was not a patient man. Well, that wasn't all that true, he thought as he waited for Hotdog and Helo to finish piling blankets into the raptor. But Adama had no patience for Gods and rituals. He listened to them chatter on.
"Okay, so we got twelve blankets…"
"Helo, what about, you know…"
"It's a fertility ritual Hotdog, I think that goes against the point."
"Right, well just in case…"
"Let's go!" Bill grunted gruffly.
"Yes sir." And with that they closed the hatch.
It was going to be a long ride. Before they could even power up the raptor, Dee's forced voice echoed over the COM, "Admiral, the fleet news service has requested to send a delegation to the surface, pre-approved by Laura Roslin. Make sure to pick them up at Colonial One on your way to the surface."
Bill groaned in his throat, they'd probably want to interview him, Laura, the quorum and of course the celebrants, the very thought made Bill grind his teeth, loudly. However Helo and Hotdog were too busy chattering on amongst themselves to even notice. It was just a stupid fertility ritual, Bill told himself again as a pile of rambunctious journalists came aboard. A number of overlapping voices thoroughly blocked out any other sound
"Admiral Adama!"
"Admiral is it true your son Lee will be a celebrant in the ceremony?'
"Admiral Adama, are you sad you can't participate?'
"Are civilians going to the surface as well?
"Can I have a few words?"
"Admiral Adama, is there any truth to the rumours of a romantic relationship between you and President Roslin?"
"Admiral Adama, Why were Lee Adama and Kara Thrace chosen as the celebrants?"
Bill looked at them with an icy glare, which had absolutely no effect, so he yelled, " Yes Lee is in it, NO! NO! NO! No…comment! I don't know!" He fumed a little over their assumption of his impotence. Even though it had been some time now since his viper had seen action, it was still ready to go if the situation were to arise.
'Admiral Adama-"
An icy glare me the eyes of the journalists, who all readjusted the cameras on a close up. "Try to enjoy the ride." He managed gruffly, deciding it was still too early to anger the press.
They couldn't have arrived on the surface fast enough to appease the Admiral.
"Admiral Adama, Lieutenant Agathon, members of the press, welcome."
"President Roslin will we be allowed to record footage of the…ritual?"
"I believe, that to protect the privacy of the people involved, it would be more tactful to use print."
The press crowded into the antechamber and immediately started buzzing with questions so that all that was heard was a babble of chatter. Admiral Adama saw the cameras come out and had the need to take matters into his own hands.
"Any one who records any footage of the sex act, will be left on the surface, permanently, you as the press are here to observe, which means quietly, anyone who speaks-"
'Will be promptly returned to Galactica's brig. Thank you Admiral."
'Any time Madam President."
The press huddled against the wall of the antechamber as though the first to speak would be thrown out an airlock. Kara and Lee stood beside the altar. Lee tapped the stone with his fist.
"Not a particularly comfortable spot for you Kara."
"That's why I have no intention of lying on it...but if you'd like a pillow Lee, I'm sure that could be arranged."
"Kara I'm not going to lie on my back…it's undignified…especially in front of the press."
"So you think that I want to be lying on my back? On this thing?"
"Kara that's the way things are supposed to be, women on their backs, and men, preferably me, on top of them."
"I like to be on top, okay Lee, I like to drive…you didn't seem to mind so much back on..."
"Kara look at these pictographs."
"Yeah so?"
At that moment the Geminese delegate approached the arguing pair.
"Are you two comfortable with your roles in the ceremony?"
"Look, it's a little late for the birds and bees speech." Kara started.
"Ok, so your role is that of life-giver." She paused and pointed at the pictograph "That's you, the nurturing life-giver (at this point Lee worked hard to conceal his laughter) lying on your back showing your openness to life and full surrender to your role in the ceremony, giving yourself fully to the consort and the gods." The Geminese delegate smirked "So yes, that is you on your back. That is a crucial part of the ritual itself you see it began back on Kobol…"
Just outside the antechamber there was quite a different sort of conversation taking place. "Maggie, did you…umm…maybe…want to...have sex?"
"Yes!"
"Oh, good."
"Look Brendan, I wouldn't have asked you down here if I wasn't serious about us and I think we're both ready to settle down a bit."
"They say any couple who participates will be blessed with twins. So, maybe we could, you know, get married?"
"I guess that'd be a good idea"
"Guess so." He leaned in to kiss her tenderly on the lips.
"Hotdog! Racetrack! It's almost sunset, get back in here if you want to participate."
A sense of tension was in the air; Bill sensed it in the way Laura was wringing her hands. Laura let out a little giggle at something the Geminese delegate whispered to her. There were four couples in all. The Chief and Cally, Athena and Helo, and Racetrack and Hotdog had staked out blankets outside and were waiting for the sunset.
Laura Roslin cleared her throat. "Alright, we come here to celebrate the timeless joining of two bodies" She read from the text translated by the Geminese delegate. "It is symbolic of fertility, fruitfulness, and life-giving love. The life-giver and her consort take on the roles of all men and all women in the coming together of limbs and souls. May we all prosper and be fruitful…Ok it says that all of the participants must disrobe…Major Adama, kindly control your laughter, and remove only your own articles of clothing." Laura looked up at the sound of something heavy being thrown onto the floor. Bill had grabbed a camera from one of the reporters and smashed it under his foot. He smiled and waved at Laura.
"One becoming two. It is a ritual observed by all. It must be treated with reverence and respect as the process of which we are all made." Laura said a little prayer and poured a sacramental offering of oil over the naked bodies of the participants.
Bill was trying to remain calm, to distance himself from the sight in front of him. It was his son naked; he'd seen his son naked countless times. He remembered when he used to change Lee's diapers, when he gave his son a bath, when he taught his son to use the urinal, when Lee had gone skinny-dipping as a child of eight in the pond near their cottage. He was lost in his memory. He was disturbed to find President Roslin praying, whilst his son was mounting the altar, with Kara on it. He saw their naked bodies draw close, Kara spread her legs, then he saw Kara's hand reach out and pinch Lee's bottom, it was like a wake up call, as the spectators lead by Laura began to chant, he bolted from the antechamber. Relieved to see the grass and the trees. He took a deep breath, what was that shape over there? Perhaps a little woodland animal…no it's too big…he looked over and saw a bare bum sticking out of the long grass. The first thought he had is whose bum is really that pale; no body's bottom should be that pale.
"OH HELO!!"
Well that answered that question….
"Oh YES!! OH HELO!! OH GODS!! OH YES!!! YESS!!!!"
Perhaps he should return to the raptor he thought. Yes, he'd return to the raptor and he'd…but something up ahead was blocking his path. Oh gods…was that the Chief? Damn…Bill had never wanted to see that. He heard a groan escape the coupling.
'Oh Cally…" Cally herself was making cute little "Uh" noises in time with his…
Bill bolted towards a large tree and leant against it. To his great surprise the tree was shaking. He peered around the sides of the tree. Hotdog had Racetrack pressed again the tree and was making love to her. Her groans and sighs cut off by a kiss. Bill shook his head to clear it. He ran like he had never run before back to the temple. As he sat outside it he took a swig from a flask inside his front pocket. Unfortunately above all the chanting inside the temple, which was very loud, he heard noises…noises of the sort that assured him that Kara and Lee were almost…finished; but still those that would disturb him until the day he died. Among all the moans and gasps he heard Kara loudly shrieking Lee's name out in the night. His first thought was 'that's my boy' his second thought was total and utter disgust. He started singing an old colonial drinking song while putting his fingers firmly in his ears. All of a sudden the noises stop. He quickly stood up, took a swig of ambrosia, and brushed off his uniform. He waited for the press to file out and back onto one of the waiting raptors. After exchanging looks with Laura they decided to take the other raptor. Leaving Kara and Lee to ride with the reporters.
'Well?" Bill said to Laura during takeoff.
"Well." Laura replied.
After a long silence in which neither one of them talked very much Laura finally said. "You know Bill, I'm surprised you lasted that long. I figured the second Lee had his shirt off you be out of there like a bullet."
"Laura, can we not discuss my son having sex with Kara Thrace?"
"Certainly Bill."
Cally, The Chief, Athena, Helo, Racetrack and Hotdog all looked at Bill with disbelief.
"Oh come on!" Bill burst out. "I'm a man, I think about sex, and I talk about sex…in fact, those of you who missed out on the fact that I have a son, I've actually had sex, in fact I've had a lot of sex, I'm actually quite good at sex, I've been married twice, and I did go to military college. Just because I am over fifty does not mean I don't have sex! In fact if the opportunity comes along, I will have sex, because I like sex!"
Laura was stifling her laughter by covering her mouth with her hand, while the others were staring at him with gaped mouths. She too had found that far to many people liked to believe that she being ...older never thought about sex. In fact she was thinking about sex right now. She was wondering to herself what sex with Bill Adama would be like.
The raptor landed in the hangar bay on Galactica. Bill escorted Laura back to his quarters to discuss the clue leading to earth. After a long, and somewhat embarrassing conversation they had run to a block in conversation.
'Hmm…"
"Yes…well…"
But before Bill could make his move Lieutenant Gaeta burst into the room. "Admiral, Madam President of course, There's a big problem with the press, you have to come to CIC right now...this is terrible."
Note: I own nothing, this story will continue, still more to cover…
