Karou stayed up late into the night thinking. Long after his brothers breathing evened out as he slipped into sleep, Karou's eyes continued searching the darkness as if it held some clue about the meaning of his inability to sleep.

He shouldn't be up this late thinking about it.

And if he was, shouldn't Hikaru be also?

Weren't they always worried about the same things?

That always had been... until Haruhi.

Not to say they were in some weird threesome-type relationship. Although Karou realized that Hikaru had a bit of a crush on Haruhi. But Karou considered that normal and a phase that he would have to get through to form a real friendship.

Correction: a phase that THEY would have to get through.

As the first person to distinguish the brothers, it was natural that they would form a bond with her. And because it was the first bond that they had formed outside of their parental and longer-instilled one, it was also natural that the transition to it would be fairly intense and – at first – unknown territory.

Which make it both more complicated and a lot simpler to explain. More complicated in that being so new it was easy to misinterpret their feelings and the course of the relationship.

And yet, by saying that was over simplifying. An easy way to explain away the feelings that he knew he had and was pretty sure that Hikaru had when she was around.

He remembered when he realized that he thought of Haruhi as more than just a friend…


The day was beautiful. It was the kind of weather that even the filthy rich could appreciate.

He, his brother, and the rest of the Host Club had invaded Haruhi's summer vacation in Karuizawa and were all competing to stay at a quaint resort. They all understood that the competition was more about having the honor of being closer to Haruhi, especially given the lack of wealth at the humble inn.

However, rather than less competitive, the circumstances made the members even more competitive. Karou was beginning to think that each of the Host Club Members harbored some secret crush on the enigmatic young woman. He knew for a fact, at least, that she had won each of their respect and perhaps that was more the driving factor for their attachment. They all seemed a bit off-balance in encountering someone who – by all accounts of their upbringing –shouldn't be held in such high esteem, and yet seemed the most deserving.

Regardless of their reasoning, he and Hikaru, who for so long could care less about anyone else, were quite worked up about winning the competition. They both enjoyed a challenge, and knowing how much it would bother their Tono, made the prospect of winning that much more sweet.

Thus they plotted and had come up with several strategies. Confident in their "brotherly love" act they were certain they could pull them off.

Just as planned, their attention to the guests gave them the attention from the owner. However with Kyoya siding Tamaki, the twins knew that it was time to step it up a notch.

That was why Kaoru was lounging on the back porch, alone, waiting for Phase II of the battle plan.

It would be that, just then, Haruhi came walking by.

She said his name in her assured voice, immediatly asking about Hikaru. For a second Karou thought their plan was exposed, but then he realized that she was only pointing out the obvious.

A warm feeling from Haruhi's recognition reminded him of just how good it was to know someone who really KNEW who you were. Well, aside from his brother, of course.

And so it was that Karou became distracted in a conversation with the perceptive girl and forgot the entire reason he waiting, alone, in the first place.

He heard the girls gasp from the 2nd story window almost too late, as she looked down and saw someone else in the way of the falling vase.

The original plan was only to have the vase drop behind him. Hikaru had set the whole thing up by flirting with the girls upstairs.

Karou was to overreact at the close call and Hikaru would come running… brotherly concern in the face of danger to highlight the brotherly love they were experts at.

But suddenly, Haruhi was in danger and without any thought to his own well being, Karou rushed to protect her. He had never felt such a protective rush that didn't pertain to his only brother.

And so it was, cradling her, and checking to see if she was alright, completely unaware of the cut on his cheek, until Hikaru came rushing up, that Karou realized that he had begun to love the quirky cross-dresser. He quickly turned his attentions to his brother, who seemed more upset than he was acting.

Even later in their room, Karou felt the need to reassure Hikaru that it was only a scratch. It wasn't until much later Karou wondered if it was the fact that Karou got hurt over Hikaru's plan, or if Haruhi's presence was what made Hikaru feel so guilty.


And just as well as Karou remembered his own reckoning, he also remembered when he was sure that Hikaru realized that he, himself, was interested in Haruhi as more than just a friend.

While Kyoya's opinion was that Hikaru first realized his feelings when they were huddled together under the alter at the church in Karuizawa, Karou was pretty sure that it wasn't until much later sometime during their classes Halloween event...


"Karou!" Hikaru's voice boomed through the hall as he threw open the blocked door to the room his brother and the class president were trapped in.

As happy as he was to see Hikaru, Karou immediately noticed the absence of Haruhi. After the class president brought up her (by reference of "his") absence, Hikaru got a strange look on his face.

Originally Karou had assumed it was guilt that he had forgotten about her, and left her behind in a mad-rush to get to his brother, (which would be the 2nd time he had ignored the girls needs in lieu of his own selfish feeligns) however Karou also noticed a faint blush on Hikaru's cheeks.

When Haruhi caught up with them, completely winded, Karou noticed how Hikaru looked at her. While apologizing, his eyes seemed to roam her figure as if confirming she was the same Haruhi he left only moments before.

When Karou met Hikaru's gaze with a questioning slant, Hikaru quickly looked away, his face beet-red.

Hikaru never mentioned why he seemed so embarrassed and that caused Karou to suspect that something had happened. Although he had heard the story from both parties, and was assured that – at least – Hikaru hadn't done anything stupid like try to kiss Haruhi or anything, Karou was forced to admit that – at least Haruhi, hadn't a clue as to Hikaru's difference in attitude towards her from that day on.

And so it was, the next day Karou hung back slightly while the three of them were walking together and Hikaru didn't even notice. It was the first time his twin didn't look immediately to him when his emotions took such a sudden turn. The first time he didn't feel as if Hikaru felt the same way that he was or noticed his feelings.

Without meaning to, Karou suddenly felt alone and left out. He hurried to catch up, squashing the negative emotions down with logic while wondering how much longer he and Hikaru would be as inseparable as they currently were.


The biggest problem did not end up being, as Karou had first panicked about, his brother somehow creating a tense and competitive atmosphere with his misdirected overly-jealous tendencies towards either Haruhi or Karou.

The problem with the current situation is that is was much too convenient for both brothers to keep quiet about their feelings for Haruhi because they knew the other felt the same way.

This made it very strange to say the least.

They had always felt the same about everything. Well, everything important.

While it was much easier to consider her some object that they could play with together, this destructive viewpoint was what Karou worked to avoid by pushing Hikaru to spend more time with Haruhi on his own.

It didn't help their situation that she already saw them so differently, while they saw her the same. Nothing had come between the brothers like this. Or rather, they hadn't let anything mean as much to them as she already did.

And at the same time it was hard to think of her as something bad, because she wasn't trying to come between them. On the contrary, she seemed to thrive on nurturing their unique relationship even as she allowed them to be individuals.

Aside from he and his brother's hereditary issues there were several obstacles in forming a relationship with the unique girl.

First there was the obvious problem of Haruhi cross-dressing at school and the fact that any relationship formed would have to be kept under the added pressure of staying a secret from the rest of the student body.

It wasn't so much that he cared what the rest of the student body thought, but that made it even more complicated.

Also, it was not determined how their Tono would react to Haruhi being in a relationship, let alone with one of the twins he showed such jealous tendencies towards. He, obviously had feelings for the girl – despite his fierce determination not to let himself know it. And it was never the Hitachiin brothers intentions to truly hurt the energetic man.

Contrary to popular belief the twins held Tamaki in high regard. Their pet name for him was their stamp of acceptance and they would never forget his determination to know who they were and include them in his Host Club. They respected him for his perseverance and kind heart. Not that they would ever let him know that.

And the rest of the Host Club members would be difficult to deal with as well. Haruhi had become the unofficial 'little sister' of the group and it's likely that anyone interested in her would have many men to go through.

But the biggest obstacle in the entire equation was Haruhi herself. It was apparent that she was not some maiden to be swept from her feet. She would never allow herself to be pampered and cared for. Part of her charm was her stubborn nature and high intelligence coupled with her saintly and overly pure integrity.

And it was hard to know what she was thinking because she was always treating everyone as absolute equals: nothing less and never more.

Karou would bet that she hadn't even put one solitary ounce of thought into what her life will be after she obtained her goal of becoming a lawyer. She was a single-minded and determined girl, but completely clueless when it came to herself.

Which is what made the true tragedy of Karou and Hikaru's feelings. It wasn't that their feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. Either his or Hikaru's – because Karou kept no secret desire to share someone he considered special enough to love with his brother.

Perhaps part of the he and Hikaru's separation was due TO the fact that neither wanted to share, but if they both did that neither had to be left out either.

But, as with the entire friendship itself, neither knew how exactly to handle things from here. And thus, the ultimate stalemate was underway.

Karou sighed and rolled over the look at the clock.

2:45am.

He threw his head down under his pillow and covered it up in frustration.

"…Karou?" He heard a muffled voice call from across the room.

Dismissing the option of feigning sleep Karou replied. "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?" Hikaru's head poked out from the covers on his bead. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and blinked a few times at his twin.

Karou, touched that his brother was worried and reassured that their relationship, for now, was not in immediate peril, smiled.

"Just having a hard time sleeping."

"You wanna sleep with me?" Hikaru asked innocently.

Karou almost said no, because Hikaru was a big cover-hog, but then he thought back. He couldn't remember the last time they had slept together. It had to have been, shortly after their Karuizawa trip.

During that trip, Karou had more than his fill of Hikaru's bed-hogging. Even after they had a double bed shipped to their room, Karou still awoke one morning by falling onto the floor. So when they got back to their homes, they went out and purchased separate beds.

It was strange at first, but after only a few times of pushing the beds together, Karou found that he did sleep much better with a little more breathing space.

But he didn't want that space now. He needed to be close to Hikaru.

Instead of answering his brother, Karou grabbed his pillow and treaded the small space between their beds. Hikaru scooted over to the wall, a move Karou found surprising, because they usually fought over the edge of the bed. He summed it up to Hikaru being too tired to argue as he climbed under the covers.

"Goodnight, Karou." called Hikaru, as he feathered his fingers through his brothers hair and reached over his body to grab Karou's hand.

Karou smiled, soothed by the gesture. "Goodnight, Hikaru." He replied as he snuggled into his brothers embrace and felt some of the tension he'd been feeling melt away.

Hikaru laid in the darkness. He felt the wall much too close to for comfort and his brother's body perfectly curled against his. He listened as Karou's breathing became more regular, and Hikaru found himself suddenly sleepless.

Hikaru chose not to voice his concerns over their triangular predicament to his brother, not because he didn't recognize what was going on, but because he believed that it was something for which the both of them needed to ascertain on their own before they could accomplish anything by talking.

How long that would take – was anyone's guess, but he was not blind to Karou's small efforts to distance himself from him – or rather "them": he and Haruhi.

He tried not to be hurt, because he knew his brother had the best intentions in trying to test the boundaries of their relationship and see where other relationships in their lives would lead them. But Hikaru was troubled that despite the fact that it was obvious Karou liked Haurhi as much as he did, he was quick to push Haruhi away to Hikaru.

Karou blamed Hikaru on forcing his emotions on others, but Karou had a problem running away from his emotions.

Haruhi deserved better than a guy that would write them both off like that.

However, it was hard to be mad because Hikaru knew that deep-down Karou was doing it with the best intentions. It was just troublesome to find the brother he knew so well acting so strangely in this situation.

He missed feeling comfortable enough to tell him anything. The rock-solid relationship they had forged since birth, was becoming a little more… complicated, and Hikaru did not like it. He glanced over at his twin once again.

Karou was finally asleep, totally unaware of the troubled amber eyes that studied his slumbering face. Hikaru slept little the rest of the night, wrapped up in his own personal ponderings, closer to Karou's train of thought than either twin would believe.


SO – there's that. A look into their world as I imagine it. I'm not sure romance-wise, quite where this story is headed. I just find this scenario fascinating. Hope you've enjoyed reading thus far!

Suzi a.k.a. KatsyKat