The NEET in Shining Armour Chapter 2 - Party Time
The next day, Satou Kazuma, the newly anointed Knight, looked down at his Adventurer Card during the early hours of the morning. He was still in awe at how high his stats were, very unusual for a man who has spent most of his life inside and in front of a computer. From his understanding, the rankings for his Strength, Vitality, Intelligence and Luck were pretty good, all of them at average or above average. From what Luna had told him, those stats are ranked from F to S, F being the worst and S being the best. Knowing that none of his stats were below average brought a certain happiness to him.
Right now, the Guild was rather silent. A few adventurers were walking around, exiting their rooms in the inn or ordering their breakfast. The receptionists were up earlier than anyone else though, each one preparing their work stations and updating the quest board with new quests for adventurers to take. Kazuma didn't pay them too much attention, he had his own business to attend to.
'So, in games that are like this, the MC would go and collect other like-minded adventurers to join his party. I should probably do something like that, but how would I go about doing that? Put up a recruitment poster thing on the quests board? I think I saw something like that yesterday…' Kazuma thought, taking glances at his Adventurer Card, the quests board, and the adventurers around him. As he took said glances, he couldn't help but see two small red lights flash in his eyes a few times from a dark corner. Kazuma turned to face the red lights head-on.
'W-What is that..?' He asked himself as the red lights began to flash once again. Suddenly, the lights moved from the corner at an amazing speed and sped right towards Kazuma. The man in question shielded himself with his arm to protect himself from what he thought was an impending attack, but nothing came. After a few seconds, Kazuma lowered his hands and was surprised to see a young girl standing before him. This girl wore a black blouse with a conveniently-placed hole in the chest area, a pink mini skirt and a pink tie. Her hair was tied into twintails and hung off her shoulders, held in place by two red bows. However, her most recognisable features were her crimson eyes which shined in the early morning light.
"Um… hello?" Kazuma said slowly. He had no idea why this young girl who looked no younger than 15 had wordlessly approached him.
"Ah, um, hi…" The girl said. "Ah! What am I doing?" She suddenly turned away and put her face in her hands.
'Don't say that like I know the answer to that.' Kazuma deadpanned in his head. Before he could voice his concern, the girl turned around and struck a pose. She stood sideways and thrust her arms out, one towards the floor and one up towards the roof.
"My name is Yunyun! I am an arch wizard that hails from the village of the Crimson Demons, and I am the daughter of their chief!" The girl, Yunyun, said. "I have come to seek your skills that are akin to that of a prodigy, and to add you into my adventuring party!"
"Well, um, Yunyun? As it turns out, I was just looking for-" Kazuma began, but was cut off by another flash of red in the corner of his eyes and a loud scream.
"Huh?! Yunyun, what are you doing talking to the Newbie Prodigy?!" Another red-eyed girl, shorter and a lot less.. .well-developed as Yunyun made her way towards the two. This one wore a black cloak with a gold border, a large wizards hat with red stitching and buttons placed conveniently to look like a face, fingerless gloves and a weird shirt that was long enough to cover her thighs.
"M-Megumin-san? I w-was gonna get him to join my party!" Yunyun replied.
"You?! Surely not, this man would rather join someone who commands the strongest advanced magic spell in all of history!"
'Perhaps these two have some history together…' Kazuma thought.
"There's no way he's join you! I've already done the introduction!"
"Oh yeah? Then watch this!" The new girl struck a pose similar to the one Yunyun made earlier. "My name is Megumin! I am the number one arch wizard in the Crimson Demon clan and the commander of Explosion magic, the strongest and most destructive magic in the known world!"
"Ah, as expected from Megumin-san…" Yunyun awed. "W-Wait, no! It doesn't matter how impressive your introduction is, this man will d-definitely pick me over you!"
"Is that so? It seemed like you weren't so sure yourself…" The other girl, Megumin, replied smugly.
"Oi. Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Kazuma said bluntly, finally intervening. "I don't quite understand what's going on, so please enlighten me."
Yunyun and Megumin both looked towards Kazuma with a determined look.
"I want you to join my party!"x2
"A party, huh? Well, I was just thinking about making one of those, but I didn't know if something like that was allowed, but it seems it is." Kazuma mused. "Well then, can't I just take both of you?"
"I-I don't know if that will work, Megumin-san is my rival and working with her instead of against her is a very big change, but I'll go for it if I have to.."
"No way! Yunyun claims to be my rival but all she does is annoy me! I can't work alongside her!"
'Well, that backfired. Having them both would be very effective since they both claim to be Arch Wizards..' Kazuma thought, letting out a small sigh.
"Okay then, that puts a wrench into the gears. Since I don't know the skills that either of you possess, I suggest that we take an easy quest so I can gauge which one of you two is better. How does that sound?" Kazuma asked.
"Hmm, I like this idea. Gauging our skills through quests and choosing one of us based on our performance, this seems like the best way to sort this out." Megumin mused. "Okay, I'll go."
"Um, I a-also agree to it..." Yunyun muttered.
'I guess Yunyun's a little shy..'
"Alright, let's go then." Kazuma said, taking steps towards the quest board. "Also, those names you were using, they're just nicknames, right? They seem a bit weird as normal names."
"Hey! If you have a problem with our names, let's hear it!"x2
-line-
Current Quest: Kill 5 Giant Toads within 3 days.
Reward: 25,000 eris (5,000 per toad) + potential party member
Kazuma, Yunyun and Megumin stood on a small hill in an open field, not too far away from Axel.
"Alright, this quest is simple. All we need to do is do is kill some toads. Luna-san said this would be a good quest to gauge your skills with." Kazuma said, looking out into the field. The quest outline did say that there won't always be 5 giant toads out at once, which is why the 3 day time limit was added. Right now, there were only two toads. "Since there are only two toads here, you both can target one and defeat it. I'll watch from the side and see what kind of skills you have, and intervene if something goes wrong. Okay?"
"Got it!"
"Uh, s-sure.."
Megumin and Yunyun advanced down the hill and stopped by the hill's foot. The toads were at least 50 metres away from them, close enough to be targeted with magic.
"Alright Megumin-san, I'll go for the one on the left." Yunyun decided as she advanced further. Megumin, however, stood in place and held out a simple-looking staff with a blue crystal hovering at the top. Orange rings appeared at the end of Megumin's staff and at her feet, the wind began to pick up and blew towards the crimson-eyed girl, allowing her cloak to flow dramatically.
Taking up an equally dramatic pose, Megumin began to chant. "Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson…"
Kazuma looked on in awe. Yunyun, however, didn't react as much as the knight did. She simply looked back at Megumin and ran back to her.
"...I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force; a destructive force without equal! Return all creation into cinders, and come from the abyss!"
The same orange rings that formed around Megumin's feet and staff formed underneath and above Megumin's target, the Giant Toad in the distance. The oversized toad looked up at the magical display with a blank expression.
"Explosion!"
The orange rings around the staff shrunk with alarming speed, and within that same second the ground by the toad was struck by a magical detonation. An explosive beam fell from the orange rings in the sky above the toad and came striking down. The dirt around the explosion site was picked up into the air, mixing with the ashes and creating a rather large cloud.
'That is some impressive firepower…' Kazuma awed. He watched on as the clouds cleared, showing no sign of the toad.
"Alright! I think that got him!" Kazuma cheered. His thoughts were short lived, however, as a loud crash was heard not too far away from them. Kazuma and Yunyun both turned in shock to see Megumin's toad landing mere feet away from them.
"Curses! The explosion didn't get it? It must've jumped last minute!" Yunyun concluded, getting ready to run. "We should get out of here! I'll attack them both with my spells as we run!"
"Right! Megumin, let's go-" Kazuma began, turning to where Megumin was once standing. Though, he didn't see Megumin standing there ready to run. He instead saw Megumin lying on the floor, her hat and staff laying just as dormant as she was.
"Oh, yes. It seems that Explosion takes too much of a toll on my mana, so it leaves me unable to move after I use it." Megumin informed, her voice muffled due to her mouth facing the dirt. "Can you please help me up? I fear that the toad will get me soon."
"God dammit Megumin, why didn't you tell us this before?! We could have avoided this all together!" Kazuma yelled. It was true, if Megumin had told Kazuma about her problem with using Explosion, he could have devised a plan to keep them out of a situation like this.
"I'm sorry Kazuma, but there's no point arguing. I can hear the toad getting ready to eat me, please hurry up and get me." Megumin pleaded? It was hard for Kazuma to tell.
The knight realised it was pointless and quite un-knightly to leave a girl defenceless on the ground, so he went to retrieve her. However, he was too late. The toad had already used its tongue to pick up Megumin and place her in its large mouth. He could see her legs dangling out like pasta.
"Megumin!" Yunyun cried, but her cries were also cut off by the sound of a toad right behind her. Moments later, she too was being turned into toad food.
"God dammit guys!"
Kazuma then dived in, sword drawn, ready to save them both.
Current Quest Progress: 2/5 Toads killed, 2 days remaining.
-line-
Later, Kazuma, Yunyun and Megumin were sitting in the guild with gloomy faces.
"Ugh, I can still feel the toad slime…" Yunyun moaned in disatisfaction.
"I never want to fight a giant toad again…" Megumin complained.
Kazuma simply sat there with a blank expression. "To be fair, you both brought this onto yourselves. Megumin, you could have told us about the price of Explosion or just used a different spell and Yunyun, you could have killed both toads and been accepted if you weren't worrying about Megumin."
"T-That's true…" Yunyun agreed.
"I can't use any other spells." Megumin said. "I have dedicated my life to Explosion. I would never spend my skill points on anything other than that."
"What?! Why not? Do you know how much of a hinderance that'll make you?!" Kazuma yelled.
"I don't care! I've loved Explosion ever since I was a kid! I shall never use another spell, I'll be known as the Master of Explosion and make it known as the most powerful and most useful spell ever!" Megumin retorted, yelling just as loud as Kazuma.
"Stop fighting please, you're making a scene.." Yunyun said softly, tugging on Megumin's sleeves.
"Agh fine, it's not like I can force you to learn new spells anyway." Kazuma sighed in defeat. "Okay then, I guess it's time to pick one of you for my party, right?"
"Yes!"
"Y-Yes.."
"I've decided that I'm going to go with Megumin." Kazuma concluded. "This is simply because I didn't actually see Yunyun's skills, and that I believe that she would worry too much about her party members and get herself into undue danger. I'm sorry Yunyun."
"No, it's okay. What you said is true, and I'll use that to improve myself!" Yunyun cheered.
"Good, I hope to see you again sometime." Kazuma said.
"Yes! I knew I'd win you over, Explosion is too beautiful to pass up!" Megumin cheered.
'It's probably too late to choose Yunyun, isn't it?'
-line-
The Next Day…
"Alright Megumin, we've still got to finish that toad quest." Kazuma informed, taking a bite out of the food he had ordered earlier.
"Do we really? I don't want to go through that again…" Megumin complained. "Can't you just go do it? You were able to take on the two toads that ate me and Yunyun pretty easily. Surely 3 more won't be much of a stretch."
"Well, the toads were distracted by you two. I don't know how I'll fare if they're all targeting me…" Kazuma mused. "Just come with me, alright? With your Explosion, you'll be able to take down two toads with ease while I take out another on my own."
"...ah, fine. I knew I'd be carrying this party sooner or later…"
"You can't move once you use your spell, I'm carrying you more often than not. Quite literally, too." Kazuma deadpanned. "Anyway, we should head out after this-"
"Aha! Still pestering this young girl, I see?" A feminine voice interrupted Kazuma's plans. The man turned his head to face the source of the voice, and was shocked to see a tall blond woman in white armour standing before him.
"...who are you?" Kazuma asked.
"I am Darkness! I'm a female Crusader who stands for the people! And you, Knight-san, are a lecherous pervert!"
"W-What?"
"Don't give me that! I saw you walking back into town yesterday with two young girls following behind, covered in a strange slime! Making them walk right through town like that, as if you were doing some e-exhibitionism play! T-That kind of perversion given to l-little girls is de-deplorable!" The armoured woman, Darkness, shouted. Her voice slowly began shaky, her breath heavy and her face red.
"Oi, don't get any wrong ideas about that! I was simply bringing my party members back from a kill quest involving giant toads. There's no 'exhibitionism play' going on between me and them." Kazuma interjected. "Besides, I'm not a lolicon!"
"What part about doing that kind of thing with me makes you a lolicon?!" Megumin angrily shouted from the side, but was ignored.
"She's a party member?! That's even worse! Forcing your young party member through such depraved situations then making her go on quests with the man who h-humiliated her? Th-That's truly deplorable! I cannot bear thinking that s-some girl is being h-h-humiliated and d-defiled… hah… and I could h-have done something about that..." Darkness continued, her breathing getting more and more heavy and her face reddening by the second. She hung her head in shame and attempted to regain composure.
'Jeez, and you were trying to call me a pervert? You seem more perverted than I do, Darkness…' Kazuma thought.
Darkness then lifted her head and showed Kazuma a stern, composed and determined face. "Knight-san, please let me join your p-party!"
"No." Was Kazuma's swift reply. 'I wouldn't want more crazy people in the party, anyway…'
"Gah, such a fast response!" Darkness… moaned? It was hard to tell, actually.
'That made her happy?'
"Y-You must let me join, Knight-san. I must protect this young girl from your lecherous eyes, no matter the cost. Even if I have to s-sacrifice myself, I will do it. That is th-the job of the Crusader.."
"First off, call me Kazuma, not Knight-san. Secondly, I don't even know what kind of skills you possess. Crusader sounds like a fighter class, we already have one of those in our party. How can I know that your skills will benefit us or not?"
"Well, Kazuma-san, you are correct in assuming that Crusader is a fighter class. It's an advanced-level fighter class, so the skills I can learn are significantly stronger than the ones you can learn. Besides that, I have a higher skill set compared to you, since you only started a few days ago. I might even be able to teach you a few skills later on too, if you'll let me." Darkness informed.
"Hmm, you have a point. Though, I still don't know how you fare in a fight, you know."
"Then let me prove myself to you! I heard you mention something about finish a quest today, let me come with you and help you finish it!" Darkness exclaimed. "With the help of a Crusader, you'll have this quest finished in no time!"
"I agree with her, Kazuma. 3 people would make the quest a lot easier." Megumin said, nodding her head in agreement.
"Looks like it's settled then. Darkness, you'll be coming with us." Kazuma concluded. He stood up and gripped the hilt of his sword.
"Right! I won't disappoint you!"
-line-
Later…
Current Quest: Defeat 5 Giant Toads
Quest Progress: 2/5 Toads Killed
Kazuma, Megumin and Darkness stood back at the hill where the quest began, looking out over the same open field. Kazuma stood in with his sword drawn and held in both his hands, Megumin held her staff over her shoulder and Darkness stood with the tip of her sword pointed into the dirt.
"Okay guys, all we've got to do is kill 3 more toads then we can call this a day and collect that sweet reward money.." Kazuma said, daydreaming about what he'd spend his money on. His first thoughts were buying some armour or a place to stay that was better than the inn or the stables.
"Since we've got three of us, wouldn't it be more logical for each of us to take on one? With my Explosion, Darkness's Crusader skills and Kazuma's… strong stats, we'll get through this in no time!" Megumin cheered.
"A-Ah, yes. My Crusader skills…" Darkness muttered sheepishly, though nobody heard her.
"That was my plan, Megumin. You can go for the one that's the furthest away and Darkness and I will take on the others. Understood?" Kazuma asked.
"Got it!"
"Ah, yes!"
Megumin rushed off to the left, towards the edge of a forest where a Giant Toad lied dormant. Kazuma and Darkness ran off in the other direction, towards a pair of toads which seemed more attentive and began hopping in their direction.
"Darkness! I'll take the one on the left!" Kazuma informed, holding his sword up high. "Let's see what you can do!"
"Oh, uh, o-of course!" The Crusader replied, trying her best to imitate Kazuma's high spirits. Soon enough, Darkness was within sword-striking distance of a Giant Toad.
'Come on Lalatina, just one strike and it's dead!' Darkness egged herself on in her head, though nothing happened. She lifted her sword up and tried her best to swing it forwards, but kept being distracted at the thought of being eaten by a toad. Images of Megumin and Yunyun popped up in her head, seeing them walk shamely through town while toad slime dripped from their clothes. The Crusader's face lit up red and her breathing became heavy once again.
Meanwhile, Kazuma had already cut his toad down. He looked down at his sword, now covered in blood.
'This is a pretty good sword… as expected from Dragonsteel! I knew it was good in the TV show, but I never knew it would be this good in real life!" Kazuma's nerd side popped through for a moment as he admired his blade.
"Darkness, I've killed mine! How are you going?" Kazuma asked, turning his head to where he last saw the Crusader. He didn't find her standing over the corpse of a toad with a triumphant look, like he had hoped. Oh, no. What he saw was completely different.
He saw Darkness in the mouth of a toad, with her legs dangling out of its mouth and her sword strewn on the floor as if she had dropped it.
"Darkness?!" He yelled, holding his sword up again and running into the fray. It didn't take him long to cut this toad down too. Moments later, he had dragged Darkness out of the mouth of the deceased toad and looked at her.
"Hah… hah…" Darkness was breathing very heavily now, writhing on the dirt with a face of pure ecstasy.
"Darkness, what happened to you? Please tell me you're panting out of pain." Kazuma asked.
"I… I couldn't resist it, Kazuma…" Darkness muttered. "I did my best… but it didn't work in the end. I'm… a bit of a masochist… every time I go into battle, I imagine myself being captured by bandits or eaten by monsters in situations like this… I couldn't help myself…"
'That explains her behaviour…' Kazuma thought. "Okay, well that's… something. Is there anything else you're not telling me?"
"Yes, there's… something else. I cannot… hit my mark with my sword…" Darkness muttered in response.
Kazuma felt his brow twitch. "W-Why did you become a Crusader then?!"
"To… protect the people, to use myself… as a human shield…" She replied, still trying and failing to regain composure.
'Hah, that makes sense.' Kazuma thought again. "...okay, we can discuss this later. Now, where's Megumin?"
Just as Kazuma asked this, both him and Darkness saw her in the mouth of the toad she was meant to defeat and no explosion marks to be seen.
"M-Megumin!" Kazuma yelled, grabbing his sword and running off to the rescue.
Current Quest Progress: 5/5 Toads killed.
Quest Status: Complete!
-line-
The trio sat at a booth in the guild, with their shares of the quest reward sitting pretty in their pockets. However, they weren't celebrating. Kazuma was worn out from running to the rescue twice, and Darkness and Megumin were still experiencing their respective views on the toad slime, even after bathing.
"Darkness, you not being able to hit things is a serious issue. How are you gonna help out with attacking if you can't attack?" Kazuma asked.
"I'll be your shield! Despite how I look, I have quite formidable Vitality and Strength, so I'll be able to withstand any attacks an enemy throws at us! I-it would be my pleasure to do this!" Darkness yelled, a small blush appearing on her face. Kazuma knew by now that this was her sign that she was thinking perverted things.
"Ah, n-no, that's not necessary." Kazuma declined. "However, I'm still willing to take you along with us."
"W-What?" Darkness asked.
"W-What?!" Megumin yelled.
"That's right. You may be a masochistic pervert and you may be incapable of attacking, but you do possess skills that I could use myself. And, I'm also willing to try train you to be able to hit your targets, so that way you can help us out more." Kazuma offered.
"R-Really? Most parties I join kick me out for this, not try to find a work-around…"
"Well, we're not like most parties. Welcome aboard, Darkness." Kazuma said warmly, giving her a smile and extending his hand out to her for a handshake.
Darkness eagerly took his hand and shook it. "T-Thank you! I won't disappoint you!"
Behind Kazuma's smile, however, was a gloomy man. 'Now my party has a one-shot arch wizard and a no-shot crusader… this isn't how I imagined my fantasy life to be like…'
STATS:
MEGUMIN:
Level: 10.
Class: Arch Wizard.
Health: 5000.
Strength: B.
Vitality: C.
Intelligence: A.
Luck: C.
DARKNESS:
Level: 5.
Class: Crusader.
Health: 10,000.
Strength: A.
Vitality: S.
Intelligence: B.
Luck: C.
