A/N: again i know i already posted this so dont tell me XDDDD


Irvine- Kelly Clarkson

Irvine

Bella's POV

Are you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor.

Sometimes I really wonder if there is a God. It's times like these where I doubt it the most. I think of it as this way, if there was a God, why is he making me suffer? What did I do for him to do this to me? I wonder if God is watching me. But then if he was why would he just stand by and watch me suffer? Then I wonder if Edward is watching me. But if he saw how much pain I'm in then why is he still gone?

You say you feel as I do

You say you're here every moment.

I let my mind wonder. Since the memory of Edward was still fresh in my mind I start to think of him. It hurt really bad to think of him though. But I didn't see how I could help it. I remember the first night he came over while I slept. I may have not known it but subconsciously I guess I kind of did.

Even without realizing it. The day I asked him to stay with me through the night after our time together in the meadow. I guess you could call it our 'first date'. I could recall when he started talking about the confusion about his feelings he felt towards me and how because of me, his human instincts were resurfacing. He said he would stay! He broke his promise towards me! How could he do this to me?

Will you stay?

Stay until the darkness leaves.

Stay here with me.

I wish he was here to help me through this barren or dark time in my life. Maybe it would've been better. Then I realize that I wouldn't even be in this mess if he didn't leave in the first place!

I know you're busy

I know I'm just one

But you might be the only one who sees me

The only one to save me

Well I know he's away and everything but I really, really needed him! if only he knew! He was pretty much the only one who saw the real me. he always knew when I was lying. Okay well anyone could tell but still. He always somehow saw into my soul. He'd always see right through me.

Why is it so hard?

Why can't you just take me?

I don't have much to go on

Before I fade completely

I could tell. I could tell my friends are worried about me. Especially Charlie and Renee. He even sent Renee up to take me. I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know what came over me. But I like had an emotional breakdown. I just snapped and threw a fit. It was crazy how acted. And very out of character for me. I didn't even know I had it in me. I always acted very calmly around my parents and everyone else lately and I covered up how I really felt pretty well. No one could really tell how I felt. Ever.

Can you feel how cold I am?

Do you cry as I do?

Are you lonely up there all by yourself?

Like I have felt all my life.

The only one to save me.

To my parents and everyone I was a cold lifeless, emotionless, empty shell since he left me. But on the inside I was hurting. I was in pain. Pain I don't think any of them have ever felt or will ever feel in their entire lives. I practically committed suicide because it was like I basically died. I guess my life will never be the same with him gone. When he left me he took a part of me with him. Was this some kind of punishment god was giving me? I've always been lonely, never having friends or a boyfriend then Edward comes in and then he gets abruptly taken away from me and walks out of my life. Just like that.

How are you so strong?

What's it like to feel so free?

Your heart is really something

Your love, a complete mystery to me

I mean I should've known it would probably happen sooner or later. But to be honest I was hoping later. I loved him after all. But I was always skeptical about him liking or even loving me in that way at all. I was just a plain human and he was an amazing vampire after all. I looked pretty plain compared to him and his super human strength and flawless beauty and his mind reading ability.

Are you there?

Are you watching me?

As I lie here on this floor.

Do you cry, cry with me?

Cry with me tonight.

I laid there on the forest floor for a while. Suddenly I decided I should get up and go home. So I picked myself up, carefully composed myself and tried to get home without breaking down.

Are you there?

Are you watching me?


Hope the writing wasn;t too suckish...i personally love this one.. :) kelly clarkson is love!! XD

you know you love me,

x.o.x.o.

VampireGrl a.k.a. Azrael