Dear Diary,
It's been six months and sixteen days since my Dad and brother have been announced legally dead. I can not keep track of how many search boats they've wasted on looking for the wreck and bodies of the many crewmen, Sarah (Oliver's now ex-girlfriends younger sister), Dad and Oliver. It's pointless. If their was any bodies to find they would have all decayed by now.
I never really understood the story of Sarah. From what I know Oliver was cheating on Laurel with Sarah and invited her onto the yacht without and of her family knowing. She was announced legally dead at the same time as Oliver and Dad was. I don't see why I was dragged into a court room and had to sit there while a bunch of scary looking men made sure that I fully understood how dead my brother and father were, as if I didn't already know. It's like they had no sympathy at all.
I would have begged to not have to go, say it would be too hard and depressing for and teen to have to endure, but I couldn't. Mom would have to go to court and be questioned and harassed by paparazzi about things she didn't know. They ask she can't answer, they think she lie's about everything to keep her families so called pride. She'd be all alone in shame. I could never do that to her.
There's this guy Walter from Dads office who's always hanging around the house helping Mom with things. He's always coming over with these legal documents. They seem to get along well. I like i when he comes around, Mom is happier when he does. Always smiling, laughing and making jokes. The only bad part about his visits are when he leaves. Mom is loving, caring and chatty when he's around, but when he leaves she cries, stays quiet and retreats to her room fo hours on end locking her door stopping me from coming in and spending some time with her.
I feel so alone at home when Walters not around. Even when he is I feel left out. School is the worst though. Even though I'm surrounded by hundreds of people I'm so isolated. I don't communicate with anyone and no one communicates with me. My old friends think that I should have gotten over it by now. They say I've cut everyone off since it happened. They were fine with it at first but after a while it just got annoying for them and they got fed up of waiting for me to come to my senses and actually talk to someone.
I've been missing my councillor sessions. The teachers keep reminding me to go but I ditch anyway. I just leave the class and hide myself in a cupboard somewhere in the school. Until my session was supposedly over. The teachers have decided to give me less homework than usual. Anything unnecessary to the actual lessons I wouldn't get. After nearly every lesson the teacher asks me how I'm coping and how things are going at home and every time I'd just tell them I was fine or I didn't want to talk about it.
The councillor has tried to get hold of me but I have gone to my limits trying to avoid her. I think she's trying to give me some space but I'm supposed to see her every day and I haven't seen her for three weeks. I'm surprised she hasn't talked to my teachers yet.
I'm in a mess
Thea
