That was going to be a problem. Alvin let out a sigh and closed his phone. Another issue with deliveries. It didn't seem like anything was going quite smooth enough recently. He pushed his way between civilians milling around the open market in Trigleph. He was going to have to hurry to catch a train and cut this off before it got worse. Yurgen didn't sound too happen either.
In his hurry he barely dodged someone leaning over the last stand in the row. When she straightened up she shot him a glare.
"Someone's in a rush. One of your fancy spyrixes backfire on you?" Milla snarked, glancing to the GHS Alvin still had in his hand.
"I really don't need this right now. Got a business emergency," Alvin fired back as fast as he could put the words together.
Milla raised an eyebrow. "You actually have a job. I forget that."
Alvin groaned. This was not helping either. "Great. Yeah, I'm not responsible. Whatever you're gonna say before you let me go. I gotta speed it up. Tell me later or tell me on the way."
He spoke a little too fast for his own good as Milla simply stepped forward and looked ready to follow him. "Alright. I want to see how you do business then."
The second groan was much quieter. He had places to be though so he hurried on. Milla tailed shortly behind looking pretty surprised she was being invited along. He hadn't even meant to—he was just as shocked. Business first, this Milla later.
Alvin led them on the train and with a little bit of a jog through the tunnel they managed to catch a ride before it started for Duval. Once in the train he found a fairly empty car and took a seat. Milla sat across from him. She set her shopping back down at her side. It looked like she'd picked up a few food items already. Alvin could really only identify the long green onions sticking out of the top of it.
He had no idea how to even start a conversation with this woman. But she caught his gaze on her bag and moved from there.
"I'm making a soup that'll be a hundred times better than anything Ludger makes...I can finish shopping later," she explained without any prompting otherwise.
Alvin smiled awkwardly and tried not to look that way anymore. He was going to get himself into some kind of trouble—knowing what little he did about this woman. "Sounds kinda important though. My business is not gonna hold you up and make you late I hope."
"Well, it'll be your fault if it does," Milla answered briskly.
"That's kinda harsh. You're the one who jumped along."
"And you invited me. Besides, I have a hard time believing someone like you can actually run anything. You have such an irresponsible face."
Alvin flagged her down; his expression already soured. "Okay, okay. I get it. I didn't know I'd signed up for a verbal beating. We'll get you out and back with Ludger right on the dot. Will you spare me now, your highness?"
Milla puffed up at those words, her cheeks just a little red. "You're trying too hard. How is someone like you friends with all the rest of them?"
That was a great question that Alvin felt no desire to answer. He glanced over his shoulder and double checked their position. The trip was going to leave him answering the question at this speed. He let out a sigh and relaxed back in his seat. "That's a doozy. It kind of just...happened at first, but it got more complicated after that. Well it was complicated from the start if I have to be honest."
A puzzled look came over Milla's face. The lack of explanation paired with so many words was not really helping her disposition. "You're not making any sense. If you're not going to bother trying it's kind of a waste to talk to you, isn't it?"
This Milla really didn't hold back—not because she didn't know better, she meant to bite when she did. At least Alvin guessed she did. "No, you got it. You're right. I was kind of keeping an eye on them for some folks. I guess I dabbled around in a couple alliances at that point. Somewhere along the way I got attached. Funny how that worked out," Alvin said far more clearly, at least in his own opinion.
There's some understanding that clicks clear over Milla's face. Her gaze turned aside toward her groceries before she parted her lips to reply. "So you were a spy."
"Something like that, I guess."
"Not a very good one if you got attached to your charge."
Alvin couldn't help but laugh. "A lot better than going against them. Jude might be kinda shrimpy, but the kid packs a punch."
"I've noticed. Whenever he is actually around. He is...the one busy working out how to keep harmony with the spirits in this world, isn't he? That's a lot to put on one person," Milla said in return, her gaze on her lap. "It's much easier to simply destroy spyrixes." She paused to give Alvin a look. "But I know, I know. I don't need the explanation again why not to do it either. I'm just saying how I see it."
At least maybe she was starting to think about it a little deeper than that. Alvin hoped so at least. It wasn't like she was a dense woman. "Jude's a good kid. Just count on him. He makes stuff happen—he'll tell you he doesn't do enough, but he does."
"Is that so?" Milla asked, seemingly more to the air than Alvin himself. "The way I always see him he looks...worn out. It's hard to rely on someone like that, I think. Or you know, maybe it's just me."
It was just her, but Alvin couldn't very well be out with things like that. "A year ago that kid took charge and got us this far. He's sharp—real sharp. I think he's putting too much on himself and needs to remember to breathe a little, but otherwise, he'll do it. I believe in him," Alvin said. He was surprised by the sound of his own voice. It sounded kind of convincing. Maybe it was actually the truth for once.
Milla looked to have grasped that much and went quiet for a few seconds before replying. "All of you answer like that. It'd kind of weird. You're all Jude fanatics."
The pure oddness of that answer left Alvin laughing again and Milla made a somewhat embarrassed face. "It's true! All of you but Ludger anyway!" Milla huffed and relented to waiting for Alvin to finish chuckling.
"No, no. It's fine. It probably does sound like that. I mean, in reality it took all their teamwork, but Jude was the head of the bunch. Between him and Milla they saw things through."
The sound of her name brought Milla to attention, but she recognized the name was not "her's" in this case. "I see. It was them...not you too?" she asked to pull away from the discomfort of the subject.
It was Alvin's turn to be uncomfortable. "I don't really have any place taking credit for a mess I made more complicated. I was there, but more as kind of a hindrance and a pain. Plain old bother Alvin. But...Alvin's a changed man, for the most part. You know, a job now. Always lending a hand where he's needed. That stuff."
Milla's eyes rolled so hard they might have done three trips around. "All of you are absurdly weird."
Alvin was going to comment that she too was very weird, but the train hits their stop. Alvin stood as the train pulled to a halt. There was a brief second he considered offering Milla help up, but she'd never take it in a thousand years. Milla stood on her own anyway, gathering up her bag and looking to Alvin for guidance. She didn't really know where the hell she was anyway. He had to lead at this point. The thought worried him a little, but no dodging it now. Alvin casually led the way off the train while being sure not to stray far just so Milla wouldn't get lost in the crowd. Although this time of day there wasn't too much traffic to worry about. Each time their eyes met there was something odd in Milla's gaze he couldn't help but try to pick out. That edge to her gaze that sought his assistance in that moment but behind that hated it a little.
It was not that reassuring or sharpness Alvin had gotten familiar with in the other Milla. The one who saw through all his little games and still kept him around. She had been trying to suss him out from the start too. She had to have been. Even with those small, playful moments; the moments they fought together. Even the moments he wondered if there was some kind of mutual attraction—even a minor amount.
All those thoughts hit him fast and were knocked out of him just as quick as Milla said his name with a snap.
He apologized and moved on.
He made his way through familiar streets relearned and changed over time. He kept the pace just slow enough for Milla to follow along. Even in a crowd Alvin knew he was at least tall enough to spot. He didn't worry too much. It was best not to linger on things now.
Once he did find his connection he got it sorted out at the last moment. It was a misunderstanding and some poor communication—it almost always was. But with a few smoother words and language that came easily to him, Alvin eased the tension and put it to rest. Once things were put to rest and they were back out on the busy street Alvin let his mind wander again. Only briefly this time. He'd thought too hard again. He hadn't meant to make a face, but it had to be noticeable.
"Are you sick or something? You fixed the problem, didn't you?" Milla asked as she stepped in closer to get a better look at Alvin's face. He straightened himself up.
"No yeah, it's all good. All business isn't too exciting right? Sorry to drag you along for such a lame show."
Milla shook her head gently, her hair swaying with the motion. "It's fine. It was my decision. I just wanted to see for myself how Elympians lived and did business."
If Alvin had to describe her expression, it looked like something weighed heavily on her mind. Lots of things had to—her whole world crumbled right in front of her. That idea felt so familiar; he wanted to reject it outright. He couldn't.
A silence fell between them that felt like it might cycle endlessly. Alvin just couldn't find the right words to dispel it. The ones Milla found were worse.
"You too. You and Jude both give me that look. When we got off the train..." she said but only very shortly.
"Hey...it's not like that," Alvin started but a glare stopped him.
"If you didn't want me here you didn't have to invite me. Lying is worse than being honest about this," Milla said much harsher this time. The way she refused to make eye contact made it harder to bear somehow.
"I wouldn't have if I didn't mind your company. You're really fine here. It's just—"
"It's just what?"
Alvin went quiet for a few precious seconds he could get before answering. "It's complicated. I'm one hundred percent serious when I tell you you're welcome around anytime, but talking about how it's complicated is kind of difficult. It's hard to talk about." He paused while he had her attention without her blowing up at him now. "Give me a little more time...please."
The frustration in Milla's face faded and she sighed. "That's...fine. I shouldn't have said anything anyway." With that she started for the train station—or at least where she thought it was.
Alvin waited behind a moment, gritting his teeth as he fought himself for a better answer.
Wanna stop screwing up for a minute, Alvin?
He swore under this breath and hurried after Milla, catching up and helping lead her down the right street. "I said I was going to get you to Ludger on time—I meant that," he said, just to say anything that might break down that last moment. Anything to make it go away.
"It's troublesome for you. It's fine. I can do it myself."
"I'm not going to force my help onto you, but let me keep my word? I'm asking if you can allow me that much. For Ludger and Elle's sake. They'll worry if you're late, right?"
Milla didn't meet his gaze at first. Eventually she gave him a dulled look and nodded.
Once they made it back to the train headed home they sat in same position as before—across from each other—only now they weren't making eye contact at all. The silence felt so heavy. Eventually Alvin couldn't stand it anymore.
"Milla...if you want to listen you can. If you want to ignore this idiot, you can do that too...But I'll start, if that's okay."
Milla didn't deny him outright, but she didn't answer with much more than an acknowledging hum. It was the best he was going to get.
Alvin sat slumped forward, his elbows at his knees and his fingers knitted together over the bridge of his nose. It helped keep his eyes off her and away from her corner of the bench. "I'm going to sound like such an idiot in a minute...Here I am worrying about something I can't do anything about."
Milla didn't budge, her gaze still on the opposite window.
"The Milla we knew...I mean, I know you two aren't the same. But looking and sounding alike? It's hard to ignore. I start to think on it too hard and then there I am thinking about that Milla instead of the one standing in front of me. It's not your fault, but I can't help it," he confessed as simply and honestly as he could manage. "You shouldn't have to put up with that or hear it, but pushing you off and lying to you doesn't help either."
She remained silent for awhile after; the look on her face was hard to place. Alvin didn't want his gaze to linger either. It didn't help. "I guessed it was something like that anyway. You two both then...you're just..." She didn't bother finishing.
"Last year, I...we almost lost her for good. Hell, I lost a lot more than that. I know I'm just making excuses here, but we really don't know how things are on her side. It's real easy to say 'I believe in her and I'm sure she's fine,' but those of us here are still human. Can't help when things make no sense."
"I can't exactly understand everything you're going through, but when you say you're welcoming me...you can't mean it entirely, basically?" Milla asked after a short quiet.
"No, I mean it that you're welcome. You have every right to be here too. If I keep pushing you off...well that doesn't change anything. I'm never going to be perfect at this, but I do mean it. You should be here. " Alvin paused before he thought of something else. "Make sure you ask Ludger what he thinks. Everyone else, we have our background, but Ludger I'm sure will tell you straight he's happy to have you here. I'm sure he means it enough to cover for the whole damn city."
Milla's hand strayed to her face, fingers held at her lips as she thought that suggestion over.
When the silence hung a little longer, Alvin started again. "I'm sorry for dumping all that on you."
At the sound of his voice her gaze pulled back up to his face, studying him for a moment. "No, it's good you were honest at least. I guess there is nothing I can do about that. But...well, thank you for telling the truth at least. Losing the things important to you does hurt...I don't really want to just be a reminder."
"You're not. You're Milla too."
She doesn't look entirely convinced, but she nods at least, straightening up in her chair. "Very well. I'll keep that in mind then...And I'll ask Ludger."
Alvin hadn't really meant to put the poor guy in the line of fire in all this. Maybe it was for the best. He'd be honest with her at least. And the way he looked at her, the answer was going to be a much more pleasant one.
Soon enough they reached the stop home and as they stepped out, Alvin kept close to Milla's side, but still just behind her. It was much busier in Trigleph. However, Alvin was able to keep up with Milla when she finally pulled him aside out of the way. "I still have food left I need to buy. You're going to carry it."
He cracked a slight grin. "Kinda bossy, isn't that?"
"You dragged me around for your work."
That was her choice to go, but Alvin let it go. "I guess I did. Alright, I'll carry it."
"Good." At that she deposited the bag she had into Alvin's hands and led the way back toward the market she wanted. Conversation seemed to go back just to how it was before—Alvin was just more mindful of his face and frame of mind. This was another woman in her own right—she deserved that much respect. That pressed firmly into the sphere of his thoughts helped. It wasn't too long before they were joking and having a decent time—Alvin even helped haggle her some good prices. That certainly put her in a better mood as they made their way up to Ludger's apartment.
When they knocked and Ludger answered, he looked surprised to see Alvin, but only for a second. The welcome was a warm one full of hellos and meows from the party of three waiting for the contest to begin. As soon as Milla was in the room Elle was right on her already chattering away at her about her day and how Milla's cooking needed to shape up to do battle that day. The two kept their friendly little rivalry up with smiles on either face.
The mood difference between this and the train ride was wide. A thought struck Alvin in the process but it was pushed back as Ludger interrupted it with a request for a hand with a few things while the girls were catching up. It was easy to get swept up in their pace and the comfort of this place. He could tell a lot was weighing on Ludger, yet he was still working to do a lot and make Elle happy. He had to hand it to the guy—he was making it work somehow.
As the cook off really got going and the two needed the kitchen space, Alvin, Elle, and Rollo were sent off to the couch out of the way for now. He had a good time teasing the kid and getting her to laugh a little, but in between conversation he caught a little of what the two at the stove were saying.
"Do you...really like having me here, Ludger?" Milla asked a bit quietly over the rattling of pots and ladles. Ludger looked bewildered for a moment—Alvin would attest that Ludger always looked confused.
"Of course I like having you here, Milla." The look of confusion fell in place of a smile. "How else will I get to taste your cooking or learn your tricks?"
Milla looked flustered at first before stirring her soup more aggressively. "Just using me for my cooking—I see how it is. You boys are all useless."
"No that's not what I meant! I really like you coming to visit! Not just your food!" Ludger blurted out in an attempt to save, but if Milla was hearing him, Alvin wouldn't tell from there. By then Elle noticed Alvin seemed a bit distracted and watched them both too. It wasn't until Rollo pawed up into Alvin's lap and clawed right into his thigh that he stopped. He almost muttered something not appropriate for Elle's young ears before hurrying to pet the cat and free himself of the sharp points in his leg. Once Rollo was safely removed, Alvin caught just a little more from the other two.
"No really, it's all fine, Milla. I'm glad you could make it. Please come over whenever you want to," Ludger spoke quietly but with a warmth to his voice that was hard to mistake.
"I might...Just for cooking and to see Elle of course, but I will," Milla muttered in reply, looking a bit stirred up, still smiling under that.
He kind of expected Elle to start sassing him but she understood they were both definitely listening in right then. The pair almost caught them and their silence but Alvin and Elle were quick to both start playing with Rollo like they had been doing this the entire time. Rollo meowed and surprisingly helped with the case.
Once eyes were off them Alvin let out a sigh and Elle grinned. The exchanged a discreet thumbs up and actually did get to playing with Rollo in thanks.
It did feel good to have at least been pretty right about Ludger. But he wondered where Milla's feelings were going to be at the end of the day. And where she really would be safely welcome in this world.
Could she even stay here?
Alvin tried not to linger on it. Not in a moment like this. Better to enjoy it and soak it in while it lasted.
