A/N: Thank you to the reviewers. This chapter is even more depressive as my mood worsened (if that is even possible). The song is 'Whiskey Lullaby' by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss and it is the only country song I like. The other song mentioned, 'A Quiet Mind' is by Blue October and is a painfully incredible song.

WARNING: character death (you knew it anyhow).


Ryan quietly opened the door with his key. It was eight o'clock and it was a Saturday, so he expected Calleigh to be asleep. He was, after all, home two weeks early as his training had finished before and instead of spending some time in London, he so desperately wanted to see Calleigh again that he had got on the first flight available. He made his way to the bedroom but couldn't shake off the though that something was wrong.

The same time Calleigh painfully opened her eyes. Whatever had happened, she couldn't remember it. But she became suddenly aware of the warm naked body nuzzling against her own naked one and as she sniffed the air, an uneasy thought crept into her head. She would've recognised the smell anywhere but she certainly didn't want that in her bed. Eric.

She turned her head to see him smiling at her but before she could ask anything, she heard the bedroom door open.

Calleigh saw herself looking in Ryan's eyes and felt a thousand emotions rush into her head, mind and every part of her body. She could see all kinds of emotions in his eyes as well: hurt, anger, pain, sorrow, but most of all, she could almost hear how his heart broke.

Ryan couldn't believe what he saw. Calleigh, his Calleigh belonged to Eric. She probably had never wanted him anyhow. He felt the tears stinging his eyes and the anger rising up as he shut the door closed and made his way to the door.

Before he could leave, though, he felt a hand on his and turned around to face Calleigh.

"Ryan! Oh God, please let me explain, don't just rush off! I need to…" but he cut her off.

"What is there to explain? You betrayed me, you killed me. I don't ever want to see you again!"

And with that, he left, hurriedly so she wouldn't catch him again.

She ran after him but he had already got into his car and had driven away. Broken inside and not understanding, she went back to find out what had happened.

Inside she met a very worried looking Eric.

"Cal, is everything alright?"

He had meant to be understanding, try and explain everything but when he saw the dead look in her eyes he knew he had it very wrong.

"Eric, what the hell happened?" Her voice pierced through his recent joyfulness as a sharp knife.

"You were drunk and when I drove you home and wanted to leave, you didn't want me to go. You begged me to stay and… you know where it went." He tried to sound nonchalant at saying that but her look didn't soften; it became more poisonous.

"How dare you! I was drunk and you took advantage of me! I thought we were friends. Why, Eric? Couldn't you stand the happiness I had found?"

"No, I couldn't!" he nearly yelled, letting out all. "Calleigh, I have loved you since the day I met you; I wanted you more than anyone. And we're not friends; I have never wanted to be a friend. And after years of knowing you and dealing with you, you fall into the hands of the first rookie cop that has come to replace Speed!"

He didn't see it coming until he felt his left cheek stinging and saw the fiery look in her eyes. Soon, it was replaced with a cool icy look.

"Get out." Her voice was ice.

"Calleigh…" he knew it had gone too far.

"Get out!" she yelled. "I don't ever want to see you again!"

He obeyed and left. When he was gone, Calleigh fell on the floor and for the first time in years let the tears fall.


She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget

Ryan couldn't understand any of this nonsense he had just gone through. Mere minutes ago he had been so happy, so in love but now the gloominess that had taken him didn't seem to leave. His mind kept playing the scene over and over again; how he had seen the clothes on the floor, the two naked bodies in the bed, the way he smiled at her and the way she had begged him not to go.

He couldn't delete the scenes just like that so he decided to get some help with that. He drove to the edges of Miami, looking for a nice bar where to cool down and also to make sure no one could find him.

He spotted one small pub by the road, so he pulled over and went there. It was dark and smoky but it fitted his mood perfectly.

"What can I get you?" The barmaid gave him a nice smile.

"Double whiskey; leave the bottle."

She smiled again, understandingly, and in a minute he was all alone with his bottle. Truth be told, he wasn't a fan of whiskey at all but this was the only thing helping him forget.

Suddenly the record changed and he could hear A Quiet Mind start. It was more than he could bear; it was their song. The lyrics filled his head and he felt so anguished that he decided to leave.

"Can I take the bottle? I'll pay."

"Sure thing, sweet cheeks."

He paid and took the whiskey and left. He wanted to go to his apartment but decided against it. Calleigh could reach him there and he didn't want to hear her beg.

He drove a bit back to the city and found a motel by the road. It was cheap and lousy but he didn't need cushy pillows right now.

Ryan poured himself a fair amount of whiskey and just drank, looking out of the window. Finally he sat by the wall, leaning against it, feeling the coolness and felt the tears fall down his cheeks while he enjoyed his bottle of whiskey in complete silence.

The next day, he went to the headquarters but only to the front desk; he left an application of holiday for Horatio and then left the building. Another day, another bottle.

Horatio called him later in the evening.

"Mr. Wolfe, I got your application. How long are you planning to stay? You forgot to mention that."

He sighed. "I don't know for sure. Two weeks at first notice if that is okay."

"Of course it is." He paused. "Mr. Wolfe, is there anything wrong I should know about?"

Ryan couldn't help smirking. Horatio would see through him even if they weren't facing each other but on the phone. But he decided to lie.

"No, no, everything is alright. I just need some time off. Bye, H."

Days flew by. Every day he spent with a bottle of whiskey, listening to melancholic songs. They didn't help with his mood, obviously but slowly helped him forget. Although all the scenes that he had witnessed kept playing in his head, if he drunk enough, he could make them a blur and not be able to separate faces and looks. The pain in his heart would also subside, eventually, but the next morning it would still be there, even more evident than the night before.

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night

Calleigh tried to reach him every possible way. She wouldn't stop calling him, so he turned off his phone. He knew that she visited his apartment daily and once, when he went there to get some clean clothes, he nearly would've collided with her.

So, night after night he sat in his dirty motel room, drinking one whiskey after another until it became his daily routine. He almost stopped eating and consumed only whiskey. Somewhere in the back of his head, a small voice told Ryan that this would end badly but he didn't care anymore. It helped the pain go away.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

The night two weeks passed, he knew that Horatio would try to reach him the next day but he didn't want that to happen. Because then he would have to face him and Calleigh and Eric and a million questions and he would have to hear Calleigh saying she's sorry. But he just couldn't take it anymore.

He had finished two bottles already and the third one was open. His vision had blurred out completely but he still had the sense to sit out. A piece of paper and a pen were lying in front of him and he just felt the need to write everything down. That when they found him, they would know.

He grabbed the pen but all he could think of, all he could write down, was I love you. He didn't need to see to write that down. He then stood up and tried to finish the third bottle.

Suddenly, he lost his balance and fell onto the bed. Miraculously, there was no pain, no sorrow, no heart-ache anymore. All he could feel was this ethereal bliss that started to surround him. He seemed to fall through the bed and suddenly there was nothing anymore…

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that said I'll love her till I die

"We have a dead body at Sunset Motels. Unknown Caucasian male." Calleigh took her kit as she, Horatio and Jason, a temporary replacement made their way to the crime scene.

She was about to enter when Tripp hurriedly made his way towards them.

"Ugh… Calleigh, I don't think you should enter." She looked at him quizzically.

"It's not a very pretty sight."

She smiled. "Well, my job is not supposed to be pretty," and stepped in.

"Calleigh..." Tripp's words were lost to her as she entered nonchalantly and made her way to the corps but stopped dead in tracks. She would recognize that back everywhere.

"Ryan…" she stared at the body, not able to breathe, blink, move. Her entire body seemed to go rigid. He was there, on the bed, and a bottle of whiskey shattered to the floor. Calleigh noticed two more empty bottles.

The world seemed to whirl around her and she needed to find support from the table. Under her fingers she felt a piece of paper and when she looked at it, she couldn't stop the tears anymore. I love you. She moved towards him and Alexx who was there processing the body, made no effort to stop her.

Calleigh gently soothed his hair. Then she sat on the bed, wrapped her fingers around his and lie down on him. Tears kept flowing and for what seemed an eternity, she breathed in his scent, mixed with whiskey and in the quietness kept repeating: "I'm sorry." But there was no one to hear that anymore.


A/N: Depressing, I know. One more chapter to come, review in the mean time.