-Chapter 1-
-I hate Axel-
"Fucking bastard, went and fucking said that he loved me … I mean, who does that?" the boy asked his friends as they sat down watching the sky on top of some sort of hill or something and eating candy. Riku and Naminé were sitting a little further away from Axel and a little too close to each other for his liking. As if they were lost in their own world. They didn't seem to want to bother listening to his problems. It was boring.
"Hmmm … Riku?" Naminé asked the boy next to her dreamily. Axel was outraged, she'd totally blown him off. Riku nodded. "Riku? Do you think one day we could … we could … AAAAARGH!" A ball missed her by an inch as three other kids looked up and laughed, "PUSH OFF SELPHIE!" she screamed, Selphie had been laughing at her all day for having to be paired up with Sora. But that was nothing compared to how many people had been stopping Axel in the street and proclaiming something that Axel had never known – that Roxas LOVED him! What a surprise!
"Awww … Sora and Naminé! Issocute!" Selphie teased, Riku's face burned bright red as he stood up in frustration and shouted for Selphie, Tidus and their … demon friend to 'FUCK OFF'. "Ooooohhh! You've got an admirer Nams! I wonder if they'd fight for ya! Laters!" she skipped off laughing.
"Retard…" muttered Riku as Naminé looked at him with a confused look on her face. He smiled at her, "Don't believe anything she says, she's a little annoying cow…" Axel laughed, and Riku and Naminé turned to look at him shocked.
"Sorry, it's just … it's just … that was so predictable and funny!" Riku glared at him, Naminé trying to prompt him into further discussion, "Well, can't you tell that Riku fancies you, Nammy? It's so obvious! Aw, sorry Riku, wasn't meant to tell her was I?" Riku shot disgusted glances at Axel as he crossed his arms and looked away. Naminé giggled happily.
"Aw, that's alright Riku; I like you too!" Naminé told him merrily, Riku turned round and smiled.
"It's OK Nams, you don't have to pretend, I'll just … just … it's OK," Naminé giggled again, it was just over a silly little crush, it didn't mean anything. She held his hand as Axel tried to wipe back the tears of laughter, he'd been waiting for this moment for so many years. It was just so funny.
"No, I do like you! C'mon Riku, it's me! You know me. C'mon, I don't care," she smiled and Riku smiled back, they gazed into each other's eyes. Axel got a bit bored after a while and jumped off the little hill thing they were sat upon.
"I'll just leave you two love-birds here then," he told them jauntily walking away. As he looked back, they were still just staring at each other, he shuddered, Weird… he thought.
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"Teee heee… I … er…" there was a long pause, as Sora nervously scratched the back of his head, making his hair look more explode-ing-y. "Why am I laughing? Oh yes. When Moogle crippled Riku! Hehehehehehehehe!"
Roxas shot a worried glance at Kairi, but she was too busy watching him act like a giggly schoolgirl to pay much attention to how on-crack-like his behaviour was. Well, he always acted like that, and Riku being crippled by a bloodthirsty moogle did make for quite an amusing tale. But he was too pissed off about what happened to drama to find Riku being chased by a little pink thing holding a butcher knife funny.
"Roxas? What's wrong?" asked Kairi, tilting her head slightly. "Don't you find that ANNOYING …" she tried to think up an insult, but calling anything a 'Riku' was insult enough. No, maybe calling somebody a 'Wakka' was worse. "That annoying little BOY deserves to be hounded by moogles, you should have heard what he was saying in drama…"
The blonde-haired boy looked even more annoyed at the mention of the drama lesson and began doing what he did best – sulking. He pouted and rolled his eyes expressively in such a way that would have made Aerith proud, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Sora was surprised it didn't try to run away off the plate from the murderous look he was shooting it.
"Oh, right. Hehehe, that was FUNNY and I don't why it was but it WAS and it was RADICAL! LIKE MOOGLE KILLING RIKU!" chortled Sora in the voice of a two-year-old finding a baby's first pop up book amusing because he mis-read 'butter' as 'butt'.
"Sora … Stop it," said Roxas mildly, eye twitching slightly. "If I have to be paired with him again I dunno what I'll do – I don't want to declare my undying love for AXEL!" he moaned.
"Well, at least he isn't trying to look up YOUR skirt," growled Kairi, referring to Riku. She hated Riku because she COULD and she was COOL like that because it wasn't COOL to like Riku DAMNIT therefore Axel and Naminé were FREAKS especially because SORA LIKE-LIKED HER AND IT WAS ALL CRAPPY.
Don't worry Kairi, I'm sure if you talked like Mickey Mouse for a day all the pain would go away because there IS a door to the light! The annoying little green cricket in her head stated brightly, making Kairi turn and miserably bang her cranium on the wall conveniently situated right next to her. "SHUT UP!" she hissed/shouted/cried, making Roxas give her the shifty eyes and back away in his seat with his precious sandwich in one hand, watching as Sora gave her a hug.
"Well, of course Axel isn't trying to look up my skirt! I don't HAVE a skirt!" cried Roxas, thinking about the drama class. If they went on to costumed role play he MIGHT have to wear one though, if he was going to be the girl. Alright, this was cruel and a sin against nature. "I hatehatehate Axel!" cried the boy, slamming his fist against the table, a nice background noise as Kairi noisily slammed her head again and again against the wall to murder Jiminy because she WASN'T going to talk like Mickey Mouse all day.
It had to be right at that moment that the said red-head walked past, muttering darkly about Riku and Naminé and 'shit' and 'fucking couples' and 'Wakka's hair is un-natural.' And his eyes couldn't help being drawn to Kairi, Roxas and Sora's noisy table, as there seemed to be some rule about sitting there. Apparently, you were only allowed to occupy the spare seat if you hurt yourself as much a humanely possible, as Kairi merrily tried to give herself brain damage, Sora seemed to be trying to HIT her in the form of patting her on the back, and Roxas went about trying to break his hand on the table. And he couldn't help noticing what Roxas was saying over all the din, because nobody else wanted to dine near them and had taken their trays laden with lunch and gone away where the people were more normal and less suicidal.
"I hate Axel!" moaned the boy, not seeming to notice that it actually was starting to hurt hitting the table like that. It was making his plates bounce around to some sort of frenzied 'Tigger-jig'. "I hate him for all this crap that's happening!"
Axel froze, Kairi's voice interjecting the conversation. "I HATE RIKU AND NAMINÉ – RIKU'S A PERV AND NAMINÉ'S STEALING SOR … I mean … Yeah, I hate her…"
Sora smiled brightly as he continued to thwack Kairi around the back, not realising he'd probably give her red marks in the morning. "You know what I hate? SPACEMEN!" he declared brightly, making his friends stop self-harming.
"What?" asked Kairi and Roxas in unison, and Sora continued to elaborate about how they kept coming to him in his dreams in the form of Darth Vader with moogles and vinegar pots.
Even this display of random crap didn't make Axel feel any better, as he moved away before the noticed he had been listening to their weird conversation. 'I hate Axel' Roxas had said. Although he didn't know why he cared – He DIDN'T care. He was pissed off about that whole 'I love you' thing.
Everything was Roxas' fault. And those strange aliens that looked like Darth Vader.
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"Not this crap again!" Roxas moaned as they entered the Drama Studio, he had been mulling over the whole 'Roxas loves Axel' thing and he'd decided that he hated life and stuff, especially drama.
"But drama's FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Sora squealed with delight, "I think I can see Naminé! YAY! I can see up her DRESS again!" Roxas shuddered, he didn't realise that Sora was such a perv, he turned to look at Kairi who had her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.
"Why do you WANT to?" he asked him cautiously, Sora looked at and giggled.
"Because she wears LILAC panties!" he told Roxas simply as though telling a little boy that 2 plus 2 equals 59, simply because it did. Roxas shuddered again, he did not want to know that…
"We going then?" asked Kairi coldly, she was upset about Sora wanting to look up Naminé's dress, not that she wanted Sora to want to look up her dress, it's just the whole idea of well, SORA LOOKING UP NAMINÉ'S DRESS! The three walked through and immediately the whole room burst into laughter, they'd forgotten that it was possible to hear through the thin, thin walls and thin, thin doors in school.
"Crap…" Roxas swore for Sora. Naminé was blushing bright red, just like Riku. Riku looked at her with mild interest; she turned her head away, so he did the same.
"Not that sort of girl then…" he muttered.
"SHUT UP! GO AWAY! RIKU COME HERE AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO PERV ON ME…" Kairi shouted over all the excited laughter, Riku left Naminé, blushing even more, he looked back at her with an apologetic look on his face.
Roxas scuffed the tip of his shoes as Axel glared at him. Sora skipped merrily over to Naminé, who held onto the edge of her skirt as he sat down on the floor like a little kid and played with his shoelaces.
"Erm … right, anyway kids, today we're going to do some more Romantic … crap," said Aerith, very unprofessionally. She was the nicest teacher on the whole of Destiny Islands, but there weren't many teachers on Destiny Islands so that's not really the point. But, she was nice to the kids and she insisted that they call her Aerith or Aeris, not Miss or Miss Gainsborough, that was just too … formal. She swore a lot as well, "Right, we're going to have a little change though, I'm going to give you a script instead of you making it up after our little … episode yesterday…" another thing about their school, Destiny Islands had nearly no creative hobbies that you could take up, so there were three schools, the specialist arts school, the school all the boffs went to, and the salmon-gutting school. Roxas, Kairi, Axel, Riku and Naminé had made a wise choice. Although when Sora had been asked, he had believed that the salmon-gutting school was the best option. Thank god for parents…
"Right, I want some … victims, to read this out for me … erm … let's see…" she scanned the room for some 'willing' victims. "OK, how about we'll have Yuffie and Leon, then … Kairi and Riku, then we'll have our very own Roxas and Axel," the class burst out laughing yet again. Roxas and Axel pouted. Kairi did too, although she was kind of happy that people might realise that Riku looks up her skirt, and they might kill him … or something.
"Right, practice amongst yourselves you six, and I'll talk to the rest of class about love, this lesson is mainly for Sora," she winked at him, as he looked blankly at her, "because he's a stupid little lovable kid aren't ya?" she told him, he nodded, not quite sure what she was saying. Kairi whispered something in his ear and he suddenly sat upright and went green. Kairi giggled and told Naminé to be careful with him, he throws up easily. Naminé glared at her.
-x-x-x-
L/N: Kairi is ebul – she told Sora something that he really did not want to know … I really don't know what, but it's relevant that he feels sick later on so … yeah!
S/N: Roxas is heartless and Kairi … is being plagued by an invisible cricket who LOOVVVEESSS Mickee Mos. Or Mowse. Anyway, I thought up a good thing to summarise this story: DAMN. Well, I write like a sixth of each of these chapters and Freya writes most of it. And just for the road: MARACCAS AT THE MANGER!
