The Wedding Singer
ChipsAhoypup
Disclaimer: I don't own The Wedding Singer, nor do I own Death Note.
Full Summary: Light is a wedding singer. L is getting married. What happens when the two fall in love?
Warning: Yaoi! If you don't like it, don't read it!
LxBB, LightxMisa, LxLight.
Light smirked. "Me? No… I just couldn't let him do it in front of his family." The kid made loud barfing noises even as Light spoke.
"Well, I'm glad I got to see it," Said L, slightly sarcastic. (Did I say slightly?)
Light murmured to the kid, who had finished throwing up, and gently pushed him towards the door. "Remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals no body likes you."
Unluckily for Light, just then, Mello came up. He was offering to help the kid inside; Light didn't see this as a good idea and pushed the kid inside, simultaneously pushing Mello towards the parking lot. "Why don't you go this way?"
Mello argued, but Light eventually got him to leave. Mello turned and continued walking, this time backwards. "Hey, wedding singer…" Mello proceeded to howl like some deranged, chocolate-drunk wolf. He abruptly stopped howling and stumbled backwards, dropping his bar of chocolate, which hit the ground with a crack. With that, he walked away.
Light turned and noticed that the new waiter was watching him; he also had a can of something next to him. "You drinking too?"
"No… it's Coca-cola," L replied.
"Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-cola?" Light raised his eyebrows.
"I don't drink." L said monotonously. (…This isn't a line from the movie, but I'm gonna have to adjust the lines to make them seem more in character.)
Light decided to get way off subject. "How are you doing? I'm Light." He held out his hand for the new waiter to shake. The waiter hesitated, before answering:
"I'm Ryuzaki… I'm actually waiting at your wedding next week." As L said this, he politely shook Light's hand for a moment before retreating.
"Cool," Light said, even though his mind was shouting: Oh, God, no! He really didn't like this Ryuzaki person… He looked so suspicious and cold. "Hm… you have a ring. Are you getting married too?" He forced himself to continue the conversation; walking away would seem rude.
"Well… the guy who gave this to me… I'm not sure how serious he is about getting married…" Ryuzaki looked away. Light felt disgusted and quickly wiped his hand that Ryuzaki had shaken furiously against his shirt. Ew! He's gay! (Yes, Light is a homophobe. I hate him for it, but it seems in-character.)
Ryuzaki looked back at Light just as the wedding singer had stopped wiping his hand. "I know, you probably think I'm revolting, but—"
Just then, the door opened. "You have to get back in there, people are starting to turn on Mikami," Matsuda advised Light.
And Matsuda wasn't lying. Inside the place, Mikami was singing, "Do you really want to hurt me~" (The same song AGAIN. How original.)
"YOU SUCK!" People in the crowd screamed. Apparently they DID want to hurt Mikami.
"Nice to meet you," Lied Light, nodding at Ryuzaki coolly and heading for the door.
"Nice to meet you too. Maybe if I ever get married, you can sing at my wedding," Ryuzaki suggested. Light faltered before turning around and shaking Ryuzaki's hand once more.
"It's a deal." Hopefully you'll be dead by then. With that, Light went to save the day. Or, well, Mikami's day.
Light was teaching his successor (Yes, he has a successor) to sing. He played the piano in time of her singing. She was a little old lady, very frail-looking. Her name was Rem.
"Much better," Light smiled when she finished. "Try not to let your voice shake too much, and you'll be perfect."
"…I hope your wedding sucks," Rem growled.
"I'm sorry, I meant, you were perfect."
"Oh, thank you! You know, no body will be looking down on you tomorrow," Rem chattered happily. "You'll be such a happy couple!"
And then Rem started talking about virginity and intercourse. Poor Light was a virgin, and also, he wanted Rem to stop talking about it. "…It's five o'clock, I'd better get going," Light decided, glad for the excuse.
"Oh! But your payment!" Rem squealed.
"My payment? Um, can I get it to go?" Light asked, collecting his stuff.
"You're such a sweet boy, letting an old woman pay with meatballs!" Rem called as she ran into the kitchen.
"Well, they taste so good, it feels like I'm ripping you off, Remmy," Light said, lying once again. It seemed that lying was a hobby to him, the way he did it so often.
Rem came back with the pot of meatballs. "I don't have any clean Tupperware!"
"Well… next time then, okay, Remmy?"
"Don't be silly! Hold out your hands," Rem ordered. Light reluctantly started to hold out his hands, and Rem helped by yanking them up. She spooned two meatballs out into Light's hands.
"Oh, t-thanks…" Light muttered. EW. MY POOR, CLEAN HANDS HAVE MEATBALL SAUCE IN THEM. NOW I NEED A SHOWER, He screamed in his head.He took a polite bite out of one of the meatballs, after some encouragement from Rem of course. "T-that's a good meatball…"
"Now, Light, listen to me!" Rem cried, placing her hands on Light's hands, and thus, squishing the meatballs into his already dirty palms. "You're going to make a fine husband!"
"I hope so Remmy… thanks," Light said, trying not to look as disgusted as he felt. He had to back away and get her to release her grip before he could get away. "I'll see you at the wedding."
L was getting dropped off at the wedding so that he could wait. He stared at the sign as he thanked Watari for driving him.
"Look at that girl," Watari said gruffly, pointing at the picture of Light and the girl he was marrying. "You're a lot prettier than that girl."
L wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a compliment. He decided that Watari said it as an intentional compliment, and replied, "I guess B doesn't think so." With that, L exited the car, leaving Watari to sit there confused, wondering what he'd said wrong.
At the wedding, the orchestra was playing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. (Yes, that song is win.) Mikami was crying, possibly because he was at an emotional wedding… or because he may want Light to himself. We're going with the latter.
Light stood awkwardly. Misa wasn't here yet. This is not just as planned.
"Perhaps we should call her?" Suggested the priest.
"No… she probably has a make-up problem or something… I know she wants to look her best," Light said. The priest nodded and backed away again.
Suddenly, a girl came up and grabbed Light's hands. It wasn't Misa. "Light, I just got off the phone with Misa's mom… Misa's not there, but, she left a note."
"A note…?" Light had a feeling this wasn't a good thing.
"It… basically indicated that… Misa is… not coming today…" The girl said slowly. Light's forced smile quickly turned to a frown.
"Did she say why?" Light asked quietly. The girl shook her head.
"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay… just… give me a second, I'll be right back." Light turned and walked slowly away. L watched from a distance, confused, as Light walked into a little tent that sat outside. The song continued playing.
Inside the tent, Light stared in the mirror, muttering encouragement to himself, trying not to freak out. Too late. Light screamed and threw the mirror. The shattering sound gave him some sort of satisfaction, as if murdering the innocent mirror had helped him recover.
In the crowd, Mikami cried. "Oh God," He whimpered. Rem nudged his shoulder, trying to reassure him that it'd be alright.
Inside Light's house, the day after the failed wedding, the TV played. "It's a nice day for a white wedding~" Billy Idol sang on the TV. Little did Billy know that he was just making someone in the house more depressed.
Little kids ran around, crying out, "Can't catch me!" and "I'm gonna chop you up!"
"Can we turn this crap off, please?" Light asked, meaning the TV.
"That's right, Light… you have to let it out, man," Aizawa said.
"You know… after what that lousy bitch did to you today," Matsuda added.
"Don't call her that. Because then we're going to get back together, and there's going to be weirdness between you and me. Watch it," Light grumbled.
One of the little kids, who had claws and a scary-looking mask, came up and said, "I made this for you, uncle Light." He handed a picture to Light.
"Thanks, Freddy Kruger." Light stared at the picture. It was a picture of him and Misa. Misa was complete with poorly-drawn red devil horns, a goatee, and a moustache. "That's not nice," Light admonished. "Very creative, though." He handed the picture over to Freddy (We'll call him Freddy for now x3) who took it and walked away.
Light also got up and walked away, claiming he needed fresh air.
Outside, Light held a figurine of a bride. He had taken it straight off the top of his wedding cake, so that only a groom remained. He noticed Misa walking up the sidewalk, twirling her hair. "Hey. You're late," Light said quietly.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't do it," Misa said.
"If you need more time, I guess I could wait…" Light trailed off.
"I don't need more time. I never want to get married to you," Misa replied.
"Well, this is something that could've been brought to my attention yesterday," Light growled.
Misa started babbling about how she had loved Light when he was in a band. And not anymore. Light rolled his eyes.
"Once again, SOMETHING THAT COULD'VE BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION YESTERDAY!" He snapped. He turned and walked inside, slamming the door in Misa's face. Misa sighed and went to her car, driving away.
A/N Misa is very OOC in this. And, when it comes to Misa, Light's OOC too. Sorry about that. ^^; I'm trying to make them more in character. Especially by making Light think things that aren't said in the movie. It makes things easier. :3
