How to be an Akatsuki Member


A/N:

CLN: Yeah, yeah, I own Naruto the series. Am I cool or what?

Cop: You're not cool. You're illegal. *arrests CLN*

CLN: You'll never take me alive, Coppers!

Cop: Oh yeah? Then what do you call this?

CLN: …A fangirl attack…

Cop: *rolls eyes* CLN OWNS NOTHING!

CLN: HELP!


Lesson Two: How to be Ninja-Like


(In the land of Konaha…)


Another bottle of sake (Tsunade's sixth to be exact) was placed on the counter in front of the Hokage. The bartender watched his leader cautiously, worried that in her drunken state, she might accidentally blow up his casino. Even though Lady Tsunade was known to drink foolishly, he did not blame her on this particular occasion. It was rumored that the Hokage's apprentice had been taken captive by the sinister Akatsuki, making the legendary Sanin insane with worry and hatred. But rumors soon turned into facts as missing reports were sent out for Sakura Haruno, a young girl from Konaha who was known for her great healing talents. Some of the best ninja the Leaf Village had to offer were sent out in search for her, but to no avail. After two months of searching, it seemed as if the little, pink-haired kunoichi was never going to come home.

Four hours and an unhealthy amount of sake later, the bartender managed to get everyone out of his hut so that he could shut down for the night. Well, almost everyone. A certain blond was still slumped over in her chair, drink in hand.

"Umm… Lady Hokage? I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm closing for the night. Do you need me to walk you back to your tower?" he asked.

She slowly shook her head, eyes pinched closed in a vain effort to make her headache go away. "No, I'll go alone."

"Are you sure, Miss? It's no trouble-"

She whacked her hand on the counter as she stood, an evil glare fixated on the young man. "Do I look like I want to repeat myself to you?"

The bartender's eyes became the size of saucers as he shook his head vehemently. "N-no, m-ma'am!"

Tsunade tossed her hair over her shoulders and drunkenly staggered out of the bar, grumbling, "That's what I thought, fool." She traveled about half way to her destination before she collapsed on a near-by park bench. As Tsunade tried to settle her stomach and brain, she realized that this was the last place that she had seen Jiraya alive. Thoughts of the other Sanin only made her head throb more. She never should have let him go. She never should have let Sakura go. She never should have done a lot of things, like getting drunk tonight instead of thinking of a better plan to rescue her apprentice, but she still did them.

"It's not too late, Tsunade," a man's voice said behind her.

Tsunade stood in surprise, looking around cautiously for who had just spoken to her. When she saw no one, she called out, "Who's there?"

Suddenly, a cold hand brushed one of her pig-tails from her shoulder and whispered against her neck, "Who else?"

Tsunade whipped around, eyes wide, but still there was no one. "Just the wind, Tsunade," she murmured to herself as she rubbed her chilled arms. "Just the wind."

"How dare you call me 'wind'!" the voice yelled playfully.

A light flashed, blinding the old woman as she fell to her knees in fright. When her surroundings dimmed, she looked around, seeing nothing but white light and a man amongst it all. He stood proudly before her, chin up and chest out and with a frog upon his head. He was Jiraya.

"A ghost?" the Hokage choked.

Jiraya let out a hearty laugh. "Of course I am! What, did you think I just came back from the dead?"

Tsunade opened and closed her mouth, gaping like a fish at the man before her. "Why…?"

"I've been watching you, Tsunade, ever since I died," he said softly."I felt like I had to protect you, even after I was gone." He looked thoughtful."Call it 'unfinished business' if you will."

"Protect me from what?" she asked, growing agitated. "I'm a grown woman, Jiraya, and Hokage for all's sake! I don't need you to come to my rescue."

"But don't you?" he asked solemnly. Suddenly a faded form started to appear beside him, twisting and turning until it looked exactly like Sakura.

"What the…?""

"You're tearing yourself up limb by limb over this girl, and it's unnecessary," he said sternly, crossing his her open her mouth to protest, he continued,"She's exactly like you, Tsunade, so if you think you can handle yourself, then so can she."

"No, she can't survive with the Akatsuki, Jiraya! You've battled them yourself, and might I remind you: you lost!" she hissed.

"But we're not talking about me. It's not my student that's in trouble…yet, anyway."

"And what do you mean by that?" she asked, drawing herself up and putting her hands on her hips.

"I came to you to tell you not to send Naruto out on the mission to rescue Sakura."

Tsunade shook her head. "No. He's the best ninja I've got and the best suited to save Sakura. I have to send him."

"No, you don't. Do it, and he'll die. You know that. He isn't ready to fight the Akatsuki. He'll just end up getting captured as well; only it won't be for interrogation. They'll pull the nine-tails out of him and become more than powerful enough to take out Konaha. It's best to keep him here, and have him protect the village. Send out a different team to infiltrate, just not him."

Tsunade hung her head in surrender, knowing what he said was true. Naruto would only get himself killed and end up helping the Akatsuki destroy the village. At the same time, Sakura was a ninja. It was her job to sacrifice herself for her village.

"But what if she cracks, and they get information out of her?"

Jiraya kneeled down in front of his old teammate. "They've already tried that. If they do it again, she'll be more than prepared to handle them. Sakura's your apprentice after all," he said with a grin.

Tsunade bit her lip, trying to keep the tears that were forming at bay. "But I don't want to lose her! Sakura's father died recently on a mission and her mother's health is failing rapidly in the hospital! She asked me to take care of her daughter as if she were mine, Jiraya. I couldn't even tell her that her child is missing!" She lost the battle with herself and broke down by the time she was finished speaking.

The white-haired man reached out and gently wiped the tears away from the blonde's angelic face. He had always loved this woman; Death would do nothing to change his feelings for her. She had a powerful air about her that matched her beauty perfectly. Even if he had found another, he would always have loved this woman.

"Tsunade," he spoke softly, "everything will turn out fine. Sakura will come up with an escape plan and return to you. I'm sure of it."

"But how do you know?" she mumbled, blinking the blurriness from her eyes.

Jiraya chucked gently, wrapping his arms around her. "From what Naruto has told me, Sakura sounds just like you. And it also helps that I'm dead: I can see what she's plotting."

"You mean she's come up with a plan?" Tsunade exclaimed, hope filling her eyes for the first time in two months.

"Yep, and a good one at that."

Tsunade collapsed into Jiraya's chest, suddenly exhausted with relief. "Thank the Heavens."

Jiraya leaned forward and held her tighter. "All seven of them." Then, he tilted her chin upwards and gently pressed his lips against hers.

Tsunade's eyes widened in shock for a moment, but she quickly relaxed under his touch. When she opened her eyes once more, Jiraya was gone, and she was once again in the middle of the street. "Thank you, Jiraya," she whispered, looking up at the sky. And with renewed hope in her student, she walked home, dawn lightening the sky over her.


(Sakura's P.O.V.)


"Do you need a tissue or something?" Sasuke asked, pausing his lecture of how to mold and change the nature of chakra.

I shook my head in aggravation as I continued to rub my nose. "No, it's just that my nose is itching like crazy. Someone must be talking about me."

"Hn," he murmured, sitting down in front of me. Sasuke had been standing for an hour straight due to my bet that he could stand up the same amount of time that I paid attention to his speech. Apparently, I had lost.

"So, why exactly do I need to know how to do all this?" I asked, waving one hand in the air.

"Why else? I'm going to teach you a special type of ninjutsu of course."

"Chidori?" I asked, suddenly excited by the idea.

"Of course not," he grumbled.

"Aw!" I complained in disappointment.

"The Water Blossom is nothing to scoff at, Sakura."

Butterflies fluttered in my chest as he said my name, but I ignored them. "But, Sasuke, I'm an earth style."

His clothes rustled as he stood once again. "And? I'm a fire style and I learned Chidori."

"But that's you," I grumbled, not sure that I could accomplish something that Sasuke could do. He was a lot more powerful than me, after all.

"Eh... Suigetsu will be going on our mission tomorrow. You two can train while we travel.

"Mission?" I asked curiously, hoping that maybe it would have something to do with Konaha. "What are we going to do?"

"'We' meaning Suigetsu and I are getting some scroll. You are going to work on the Water Blossom."

I folded my arms, aggravated, as the sound of clothes being stuffed roughly in to a bag reached my ears. "Well, that's boring. And by the way, how do you plan on letting me train if you have my chakra flow blocked off?" He had done this earlier to keep me from escaping.

There was a sound of clinking metal. "I think chakra-infused handcuffs should be able to withstand your strength."

"And? I still have legs."

He chuckled half-heartidly. "Yes, but they won't be useful to you if they're chained to a tree outside the town we're going to."

I huffed in frustration. I was not very sure that I could uproot a tree easily and not get caught in my efforts. "Or you could just take me with you when you go. I wouldn't be a hassle."

He chuckled quietly. "Yes, you would be. And either way, I enjoy harassing you when you're tied up."

"You would, pervert."

Sasuke was quiet them except for a soft, "Hn."

My eyebrows furrowed. What was that supposed to mean?

Suddenly, he threw something against the ground, making a loud noise. "Do you plan to not take anything with you or are you going to pack?"

With a heavy sigh, I stood and headed towards my room. Right before I left, I heard Sasuke fall onto the bed with a heavy sigh. My hands twitched; the thought of using my talents to release whatever pain he was in right now was overwhelming. It was in my nature to make people better after all.

I almost went back to see if he needed me to heal him, but then I was struck by my sudden change in demeanor. I shook my head, angry with myself for not focusing on my original resolve. You should not be helping your enemies, Sakura. Sasuke or not, you must not make this easy on him. And with that, I trotted off, once again scratching the top of my nose.


A/N: Yay! Happy Jiraya and Tsunade moment! ^.^ I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I've been re-watching the Naruto series, and I got to the part where Jiraya dies the other day. The scene where he left Konaha inspired me to write this chapter. Lol Funny thing is, though, that I didn't cry then, but I did when Itachi died. XD …*Tsunade glares angrily at CLN* Okay, well, I thought it was funny… Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this! ^.^ Oh, and happy New Year!