A/N: I'm so sorry, I haven't updated in ever. I just have a serious case of write's block so I need some ideas. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted the story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)

Disclaimer: © The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and so do all the characters in this story. Not including the characters I made for the story.

Summary: Katniss knew Peeta and her were over and done with. She knew the fact that them coming back together and making something like a relationship was unattainable. She knew all of these things, but a part of her refused to believe it. Post Mockingjay.


Rekindling Harmony


"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."-Lord Alfred Tennyson

In the next few weeks more and more people come by train back to District 12. Merchant or from the Seam, rich or poor, young or old they all work together to rebuild 12. I see familiar faces like Delly Cartwright who smiled happily when she saw me, "Hey, Katniss! All this building is hard work, don't you think?" she said when I greeted her for the first since a while. I also see Thom again, and a few of other mine workers.

That morning when I wake up I awake panting from another nightmare, the same one from yesterday to be exact. I stop heaving and put my hand to my forehead, which is blazing hot again. I walk to the bathroom sluggishly and take a much needed cold shower. When I walk out I wrap a maroon towel around my mid-section and stare into the mirror.

Look at me. My once olive skin has a sickly green tint to it, my once long and flowing hair is clumpy and currently breaking, and to top it all off I've lost about 15 pounds. I'm a complete mess in desperate need of help. I self-consciously put my hand to my dripping hair and run my fingers through it a few times. I sigh and walk out of the bathroom.

The last thing you need to worry about is how you look, I scold myself. I dry myself and my hair with the towel. I then toss it onto the bed and change into my clothes. A T-shirt, cargo pants, and brown boots. I come across my gray clothes I wore in District 13. I stare at them thinking about all the things I did in them, I don't really miss District 13. I hated the way Coin treated and looked at me. I shake my head dismissively and I touch my hair again and try to braid it. I fail so instead I put it into a high ponytail.

Once, I'm presentable I walk downstairs to see the trio cooking and cleaning just like they do every morning, "Katniss!" Melba runs to me the moment she sees me, "You look so pretty!" she gushes with admiration.

"I, uh...I try. Thanks, Melba. I like your dress," I smile at her looking at her floral pink sundress, "It's very cute on you."

"Thanks, Katniss! That means a lot coming from you. In fact," Melba takes the white hard headband from her head and prods it out to me, "Take this. I think it would go very cute with what you're wearing."

I put on Melba's headband and smile at her. I open my arms and she doesn't hesitate when she runs into them. I look at over at Greasy Sae and Peeta and see the both of them stopping from their work and looking at Melba and I. Greasy Sae touches her chest with her hand smiling with mirth. Peeta grins at me and then turns around back to work.

Melba pulls away and runs to the table and sits down, "Sit next to me, Katniss."

I nod and walk over to the table. Peeta and Greasy Sae bring out the food and breakfast starts. This time everyone is in the mood to talk. Greasy Sae compliments me on my choice of boots, Melba talks very passionately about how excited she is for her birthday, and Peeta brings up all the construction everyone is taking part in.

"We should help," he says drinking some lemonade, "I just feel we should, you know?"

Yes, because we're the reason 12 is like this. Well, mostly I'm the reason 12 is like this, but the people at the table don't need to know that. Even if it's fairly obvious, I think to myself. Peeta looks over at me expectantly.

Oh, I have to say something too? I clear my throat and say, "Yes, I think Peeta's right. We should help."

"I really admire you two," Greasy Sae comments, "I really do."

I'm about to say something when the phone rings. I get up and walk to the phone; the three go back to their conversation. I take the phone from the receiver and answer, "Hello?"

"Katniss," says a familiar voice happily, "It's Plutarch,"

"Plutarch," I say with feigned enthusiasm. I was never fond of that man, "How are you?"

"Things are great, here in the Capitol. Everyone thanks you, and darling I've sent you something." he says vaguely.

"Something?" I repeat curiously, "What could that be?"

"I have sent you a box of pictures and keepsakes. Things I forgot to send to you. I think it should be on your front porch now," Plutarch answers with a note of excitement.

"Really?" I ask about ready to hang up and saunter to the door.

"Yes, isn't it exciting? I must go now, Katniss. Farewell!"

"Bye, Plutarch." I say before hanging up the phone and running over to the front door. A medium sized brown card broad box sits by the front door. I squat down to the box and pick it up. I walk back inside and put the box on the kitchen counter and turn around giving a lopsided grin to the trio, "Look what Plutarch sent."

Peeta stands up and walks over too. He looks at the box and back at me, "May I?" he asks. I nod and he walks to the kitchen cabinet and takes out a silver kitchen knife. He closes to the cabinet and walks back over to the box. Carefully, he cuts the transparent tape with the knife and opens the box gently. He puts the knife down and moves away from the box letting me see what's inside. I lunge forward and look around at everything. Pictures, items, is what I'm met with. I then see a little girl in a white blouse which sticks out like a small duck tail...

"Prim!" I yell taking the picture from the box. It's a picture from the Reaping Day, a picture from the moment Prim was picked at the Reaping. The Reaping that changed everything. I don't regret volunteering for Prim that fateful day; the Careers would of eaten her alive and I don't think I could of bared watching it. Still, a part of me wonders what it would of been like if she did leave and participate in the Games...

No, I think to myself, she would of been no match to Cato and Clove and all those other tributes. She wouldn't of lasted.

But all of those things don't matter now because little Prim is gone. Those bombs that fell in parachute form that terrible day still burn in my mind. Her blond hair in a braid, her uniform sticking out like it did on Reaping Day. Desperately, I ran to her like a fool hoping that maybe just maybe I could have saved her like I did at the Reaping.

The only thing I ever wanted for her was to be safe and I failed her. I don't deserve to be here; breathing air waking up in the morning and living life. She did. She deserved to live more than anyone, but she ended up dying. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Seeing this picture reminds just how much I miss her. How much I long to have my little sister in my arms again.

"Katniss?" Peeta touches my shoulder, concerned, "Are you alright? You're crying."

I touch my eyes and realize I'm crying like a baby. I wipe my eyes and clear my throat, "I'm, yes...I'm good."

"No, you're not," Peeta insists knowingly looking into my eyes. I run into his arms surprising him and myself for that matter. Once, he's overcome his astonishment he hugs me back and runs a finger through my hair, "You don't have be strong for me. You know that right?" he whispers into my ear.

"I know, but Peeta I just miss her so much," I say into his shirt. A new load of sobs catch me and I cry even more into his shirt, "I just feel so powerless. I have no control and I hate it."

Peeta kisses my cheek lingering there for a moment, "You're going to get through this. The both of us, we're going to overcome this. Agreed?"

"Agreed." I murmur into his shirt. It will be impossible for Peeta to get over his being hijacked, but he doesn't need to know that. I won't plan on telling him anytime soon, and the thing is; I don't feel guilty about it.

I look over at Melba who has tears in her eyes and starts clapping dramatically at my exchange with Peeta, Greasy Sae smiles and gives me what I think is a wink. It's been a while since I've been affectionate to Peeta in front of other people so it's new. Those times it was for the cameras, for other people's satisfaction; to keep the people I loved safe. All in all, what I shared with Peeta was fake, some bits and pieces were genuine. This time it's real. All of it.


"Peeta, look at this one," I tap Peeta's shoulder and show him the picture I'm looking at which is one of Thresh and Rue in their interview formal clothes. After, we all cleaned up breakfast Melba and Greasy Sae headed out to their house. Peeta decided to stay here with me and look through the box. I want to do something with all these pictures, but nothing really comes to mind, "It's of Thresh and Rue."

Peeta turns to me and looks at the picture. He closes his eyes for a moment, "At the interviews? I remember now," he says, "That's where I told all of Panem I was in love with you."

"Who could forget that moment? I still remember clear as day." I say to Peeta feeling a little guilty about how I acted after his interview. I pushed him and he broke an urn; blood was everywhere and urn got into his arms. My reaction was ludicrous and foolish. Peeta didn't deserve what I did to him. I turn away from him avoiding his gaze and look route through the box.

"You know, Katniss," Peeta comments looking at a picture in his hand, "We ought to to do something with all this stuff."

"Like what?" I ask picking up another picture of Prim in her blue dress after Peeta and I won the Hunger Games. She looked she proud and delicate that day. I came back like I promised her I would. I can't help, but beam at the picture as I put it down. There never was the closure that I needed after Prim died. I know I'll never get that. But looking at all of these pictures is somewhat depressing. I need some air.

Without Peeta's consent or knowledge I run out the door and feel tears in my eyes. I spin around slowly wondering where to go next. Then I see the small little helpless flowers on the side of my large house and I run over to them. My knees give away and I kneel on the ground staring at the flowers. It's somewhat comedic to see how fast Peeta runs out the door and follows me.

My knees start to feel itchy from the grass, but I ignore that plus the new green stains that cover my pants. Peeta's expression is quizzical when he nears me, "Katniss?" he wonders aloud with a blond eyebrow raised in confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Prim," I say staring at the dainty primroses, "She was like a flower; small, couldn't help getting hurt, pretty. She was all of those things."

I'm glad when Peeta doesn't speak so I can continue, "These flowers that you planted are the closest thing I have to her," I turn to Peeta, "I thank you for that."

Peeta nods with caution, his arms crossed over his chest, "Your welcome."

I start to laugh hysterically and feel Peeta raise an eyebrow again, "She's gone," I feel the back of my eyes getting hot and I say, "I don't think I'll get used to that."

Peeta sighs quietly and shakes his head, "You're not the only one, I lost my whole family too."

I think of Peeta's two older brothers, his generous father who gave me the cookies on Reaping Day, and who could forget the witch? I never liked that woman. I didn't like the way she hurt Peeta when he was only trying to give me food. I don't even know how such a great man, like Peeta's father, got stuck to be the husband of that savage woman.

I nod, "I know, but-"

Peeta cuts me off and uncrosses his arms while glaring daggers at me, "But what? Are they not as important as Prim? Katniss, that was the family. They are just as important as yours."

I shake my head with vigor repeatedly, "I never said that, Peeta." I retort.

"Well, it was what you implied." he shoots back.

"Peeta," I plead overcome by the way his voice pierces my very being and not in a good way, "Please don't yell at me."

"Well, why shouldn't I? The only person you ever listen to is yourself!" he yells with vigor.

"That isn't true," I say turning away from him avoiding his gaze.

"You know, you really should stand because I can't take you seriously when you're kneeling like that." Peeta says crossing his arms over his chest again, not amused at all.

I scramble to stand upright and I try to use my most serious expression, "Goodness. Look, I'm sorry, okay? Can we just leave it at that?" I think of how a few weeks ago our roles were reversed. How he was asking for forgiveness and how I wouldn't give it to him.

Peeta shakes his head, "Do you even get it? Katniss, it's my family we're talking about. I have to go." Peeta turns on his heel cutting the conversation off and walks away.

I try to follow after him, "Peeta, wait. Please!"

Peeta turns around and gives me the mother of all death glares which causes me to flinch, "I'm done waiting, Katniss. You've never told me what you want and I'm done. I'm done feeling sorry for you."

I lean out and touch his shoulder hoping he'll listen, "Peeta, you really need to hear me ou-"

Peeta shakes his head with finality, "You know what the funny thing is? I actually thought you and me for once could be civil towards each other. That we could actually talk to the other without fighting or the uncomfortable awkwardness. That maybe, just maybe things could go back to the way they were and that you and I could be...I guess I was wrong," Peeta says with a distant look in his eyes he then shakes his head, "I had a really good idea. We could have made a book, but I'm sure that you're capable of doing that." he then walks to his house and slams the door.

I look at the flowers and sigh, "What am I going to do, Prim?"

I put my hands in my pockets and walk down to the Seam. I feel Peeta looking at me from his window. When I turn he pulls the curtains together instantly. I sigh and keep moving. I make it to my old home that is nothing, but a black mangled bungalow. I open the door slowly careful not to make it fall down.

He sits in the corner by the television I use to use, "Buttercup." I say simply. It stands up on all fours when he sees me. He hisses at me and glares. I thought since my last visit with him, when I cried my eyes out that we'd at least be on good terms. I guess not.

"Still hate me, huh? Prim wouldn't have liked that."

Buttercup's eyes become eager and excited at the mention of Prim's name. I don't know why, but I feel the need to crush the feline's spirit and let him know that Prim's homecoming will never happen, "She's dead, you know," I say bluntly, "Been dead for a while now."

Buttercup meows sadly and curls up, "I know, even I'm not used to it."

It's a lost cause, but I slowly inch my hand to Buttercup's back where I stroke him softly. He stiffens, but then lets me in purring in delight, "Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you aren't so bad as I thought."

After a few more strokes, Buttercup hisses and stands up. I think I gave too much pressure on his back when I was stroking him because he stands up and glares at me while backing away.

I stand up and throw my hands in the air, "Look, I'm leaving." I storm out of the house and slam the door, carefulness that last thing on my mind. I walk to the town square and see all the construction taking place. My eyes fall on Greasy Sae and Melba.

The latter points at me and runs into my arms, "Katniss?" she looks behind me in the distance, "Strange. I thought Peeta would have been with you too."

It's not like she'd understand, but I say, "We sort of had a fight. You wouldn't understand."

Melbas shakes her head, "You can't fool me. I mean, did you see the way he was look at you this morning? True love at its finest."

Did you see the way he looked at me when I inadvertently insulted his family? Did you see that, Melba? Did you see the hatred in his eyes? I resist the urge to tell Melba that she knows nothing about love. About how the last thing that I need is love advice from an eight year old.

I force a smile, "You caught me? So, how are you?"

"I bet it was the headband that made him fall in love with you at that moment," Melba goes off ignoring my question, "My headband! Do you love him too?"

I can't take it anymore. I need to set Melba straight. She needs to know that reality doesn't work like that. That life is cruel and unforgiving. That love isn't all its choked up to be. Love can break a person; make them weak. And whether Melba is eight or eighteen she needs to know the deep truth.

I take a deep breath, "Melba, be quiet. I'm not in love with Peeta and he's not in love with me. We will never be together. Besides love is the last thing anybody needs to think about," I bark at Melba, "You need to get out of your little fantasy world and face the facts. I am done watching, love doesn't bring anything, but pain. It's time you learned that and the sooner you keep that locked into your mind, the better."

Melba's whole face turns beet red. She uses her small hands to wipe away the tears, but it soon becomes futile since more and more tears spill from her gray eyes. She looks up at me; the look of admiration is gone form her face. It is now placed with a look of abhorrence. I stare back at her expressionless. Then what she does next catches me off guard: Melba pushes me. She shakes her head and steps forward to push me on the stomach. I stagger back, baffled with a look of horror on me face.

I can't understand her since she's making strange hiccups sounds as result from the crying, but I clearly understand her saying, "I hate you, Katniss."

Then she spits on me.

There. In that one moment I did something I wish I could take back. So many things I've done to people in my seventeen years on this planet I wish I didn't do, but this one and hurting Peeta take the cake. Maybe it's the look of repulsion that played on Melba's round and delicate face. Or maybe even earlier it was the way Peeta yelled at me that makes me what to shout at myself for doing things like this.

I've never been spat on, it's a simple and instant way to hurt someone. All you have to do is spit. The feeling is terrible for one, it paralyzes you. You can't seem to move your own feet. Two, you can't speak. And three, your very being is crushed. That one little action Melba did makes me fall apart inside. Makes me feel like human garbage and like I'm not wanted or needed by anyone; nothing. I know, a facile action like Melba's shouldn't eat me as much as it has, but I'm fragile. On the very verge of falling apart.

Why do I do this? Why am I this person? Will I ever stop?

So many questions I hear in my head and what makes me even angrier is that I will never provide the answer to them. I watch helplessly as Melba runs to Greasy Sae and points at me while telling what had just taken place. Greasy Sae gives me a look that obviously says 'why would you do this?'. I refuse to acknowledge her look so I sigh. I push through the horrible feeling in my gut and walk away, Melba's sobbing still playing in my head.


A/N: Ta-da! Angst, angst, and more angst are ahead of us. First, things first thank you for the alerts and the faves. They really keep me going. Ideas, critiques, and maybe even praise would be nice for you guys to tell me. :D