Agent Coulson sat head in hands. His tears dripped down onto the desk. He parted his hands and looked down at his phone again. "Why did you do it?" he folded his arms and paused. He felt his concealed pistol under his arm. He slowly drew his side arm and checked it.

He felt he needed to resolve this. He stood strong and holstered his pistol before storming out.


The sun was coming up and Loki lay on the couch, his head resting on Erik's lap. He gazed up at him. He held up his hands and his Aesir clothes covered his body.

"That's one way to get dressed." Erik smiled. Loki returned with a wide smile showing his teeth. He closed his eyes and turned his head away. Erik reached down and gently lifted Loki's shirt and softly tickled him. Loki laughed and scrunched his body up in a ball trying to evade him.

"Haha! Stop Erik!"

"I didn't know you were ticklish. Did Thor ever do this?" Erik smiled. However the smile quickly ran from Loki's face. It was the mention of Thor. He pushed away Erik's hand and sat up. He moved to the far end of the couch in an angry protest. "Loki?"

"No."

"What has got your knickers in a twist this time?" As soon as he spoke Loki turned and glared at Erik. "Whoa.." Erik put his hands up and surrendered. "I didn't mean anything by it. Won't you tell me what is going on?"

"When we first met. I introduced myself as Loki of Asgard, but that is a lie."

"Oh Loki, I know you're the god of lies but I know you are from Asgard. That was a story from our Viking past." Erik moved closer to comfort him. Loki stood up and moved away. Erik slumped back in the couch not trying to pursue him.

"I wasn't born there, just raised in captivity." Loki looked down at his hands then back to Erik. "I'm not Aesir."

"So, I know. You are from Jotunheim. What does that matter? Wasn't Odin's mother a frost giant?"

"What? Who cares! You're not listening to me." Loki protested. "Look, it's a whole myriad of things that have culminated and make my life .. Well shit. For want of a better word.."

Erik sighed and patted the couch. "Come here and tell me about it." He held open his arms and Loki raised his eyebrows and acquiesced. He sat down and let Erik hold him close. He rested his head on Erik's chest, and stroked and tugged at his flannel shirt.

"Well this whole 'closeness' well you even thought I was intimate with Thor. And now that I look at it I can see why. But the worst thing was when I found out I wasn't his blood, and we could have been.." Loki started to cry. "I would have loved it if our love could have been expressed physically too." Erik stroked Loki's hair and let him vent.


Outside Phil sighed and put his back to the wall. He banged his head back and closed his eyes. He heard Loki, he was just like him. Ignored by his 'crush'. Phil though about Steve. Could they be just like Loki and Thor, friends who never become lovers?

Phil shook his head. He didn't want to have that kind of heartbreak. It was hard enough coming out to Erik and that was only by accident. Just like how they met.


A year ago.

Erik walked through the maze that was SHIELDs bunker facility. He looked down at his map and rotated it, trying to work out where he was, let alone where he was trying to be. He exhaled sharply and strode off around a corner. Bang! Into Agent Coulson.

Both men apologising profusely and blaming themselves for the papers now scattered in the hallway. The bother bent down to pick them up and bumped heads. They stopped and Erik placed his hand on Phil's head where he hit it.

"Sorry, let me get this for you." He scooped up all the papers. Phil took them all.

"Oh some are yours, we should sort them out." He smiled and extended his hand. "I'm Phil, Phil Coulson."

"Erik Selvig."

"I know." Phil softly spoke with a smile that could light up a room.


Phil stood at the door to Erik's house and held the door handle for the longest time as he thought about what to say. Would he storm in angry and shoot Loki? Would he just pretend he knew nothing and just stroll in like he was expected?

Just as he was about to make his decision Loki pushed open the door and smiled. Phil looked at the strange man in his long black and green coat and boots. He held out his hand. "Hi, you must be Phil. I was wondering if you were ever going to open the door!" Loki laughed. He turned back to Erik and smiled.

Phil looked shocked and caught off guard. He stumbled in. "Ah yes. I'm Agent Coulson.."

Loki walked back over and sat down next to Erik. He put his feet up on the arm of the couch.

"Please don't put your feet on the couch." Phil said softly. He also proceeded to put a coaster under the beer bottles on the table. "Are you drinking this?"

"Yes." Erik went to grab it.

"A little early for getting drunk?" Phil was not impressed about his messy house guests. Loki gave a sneaky smile to Erik like 'ooo we're in trouble now!'. They both shrugged and gave each other that knowing smile as Phil felt compelled to pick up everything out of place between here and the kitchen.

Erik patted Loki on the cheek. "Quite." He whispered. "Phil, how goes the clean up?" He got up and walked over to him cleaning and scraping the plates. "Put them down, you don't need to clean." Erik placed his hand on Phil's holding the plates. "I'll do them.

"No!" Phil turned and smashed the plat on the ground. "No! Nothing is going well! No you will not clean these up! I bet they have been sitting here since I left!?" Phil screamed like there was something else he could not say.

Erik grabbed his biceps and looked him in the eyes. "Hey, what's going on? Did something happen at SHIELD?"

"No. Well yes, but that's not.." Phil pushed him away and went for the door but now Loki was standing concerned about the yelling and he had an air of protectiveness towards Erik. "You." Phil squinted at him.

"Agent Coulson, you shouldn't start fights you cannot win." Loki then smiled. "Unless you like to lose."

Phil went to lunge at him but Loki disappeared and appeared next to Erik. Phil spun around after he stumbled. Erik shook his head. "Loki, keep the magic to a minimum ok?"

"How could you?" Phil said dejected. "It's so easy for you, isn't it?"

"You have the wrong idea." Erik moved towards him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong. Did you not fuck each other?!" Phil shook his head and stepped back as Erik approached. Loki went to talk.

"Well technically.."

"Loki, no." Erik covered his mouth. "Not now."

"I guess I should move out then." Phil walked to the bedroom and grabbed a bag and dumped it on the bed. He began to shove clothes in it as he silently cried. Erik followed him and stood in the door way.

"Please don't go. I like you here with me."

"You don't need me. You have Loki." he said without making eye contact.

"You are wrong. I don't have Loki. He will probably leave this realm and go home to Asgard soon. And as for need." Erik moved to his side and held his arms and directed him to look him in the eyes. "You may think I don't need you, but I know for certain, you need me." Erik kissed his forehead and rubbed his tear soaked cheeks with his thumbs before kissing his lips.

"I don't deserve you."

"No, you deserve someone better. I am really the bottom of the barrel when it comes to sexiest man alive!" Erik made a slight joke. Phil smiled slightly at his bad humour. "Look, we are at different places. But I will not refuse you because you want to wait, wether you were ever going to have a relationship that progressed past kissing with me, I don't know."

"Neither do I, but I wanted to find that out for myself, not witness you doing, whatever it was you were doing with him." Phil continued to pack.

"Phil, sit down." Erik patted the bed and Phil complied. Loki moved towards the door and observed the confusing relationship. "Tell me your concerns."

"I'm 40 and I haven't shared my bed with a man, I took so long to realise who I was attracted to, and now it's slipping away."

"You're not alone in that thinking. At least you have someone that knows you love them and loves you back." Erik took his hand in his. Loki opened his mouth and wanted to say something. He shed a tear as he wanted that too.

"Truly?" Phil said hopeful.

"Yes. If you want to wait until you're ready and you want your first time to be with me, then I will gladly be the man that guides you." He kissed him on the cheek and stood up. "Now put your things away, I'm going to order pizza because there is not going to be any dishes!" Erik walked out of the bedroom.

"That's because you have dirtied all the others!" Phil yelled after him jokingly. Loki stood in the door and just watched the smile return to Agent Coulson's face. He saw that internal glow from being loved. Loki gasped when Phil looked up and saw him watching him. Loki darted off after Erik like that was his intention all along.

Phil sat and though about that look he shot him. He tried to work out what he saw. He put his clothes away and walked into the bathroom and washed up. He looked up at the mirror. He touched his face. That look. He had felt that emotion. Loki was scared of being rejected and alone. Phil raised his eyebrows at the realisation that Loki was clinging to Erik cause he had no one.

Phil wondered if that was the only reason he was here. Cause Erik was the first person who knew, the first person who accepted his secret, and there would be no reason to tell anyone else.

Phil walked out slowly and saw Loki on the couch and Erik stuffing dishes in the dishwasher. He had an idea. "Erik. If you pick up the pizza we will get them quicker."

"Oh yes, that's a great idea!" Erik put down the dishes, any excuse not to do them. He grabbed his keys and wallet. "I'll be back. Keep out of trouble Loki!"

Phil sat down in the clean arm chair across from Loki. He stared at him till he felt the young god change his demeanour. Loki at first decided to be sheepish and avert his gaze. Then he adopted a cocky smile and stared back.

"Loki, you don't want to go back to Asgard."

"Is that a statement?"

"Possibly. Two points, you a. have nothing to go back to, and you think that Erik will be the solution to your problem." Phil calmly said. Loki stood aggressively.

"What would you know mortal! I am a god!" Phil stood and moved close.

"God? You are not even close to that. You are a scared little boy who is unwanted and unloved by anyone he tries to get close to!" Loki gasped and then Phil slapped him.

"You will regret that!" Loki dove at him and they landed on the floor after hitting the soft chair. Loki pinned Phil down and he coped a knee to the groin. Phil shoved him to the ground and yanked back on Loki's hair.

"Now, leave this planet, I don't care where you go, or if anyone wants you there." Phil taunted.

"Are you jealous Agent Coulson?" Loki tried to be tough but his words were a painful truth.

"Of you? Did you not here Erik?" Phil held Loki's cheeks in his hands and softly stroked them. "I am loved." He kissed Loki with venom. "Can't say the same for you!" he stood up and stood over the shocked face looking back at him. Loki lowered his head and looked at the floor for answers. He sat back on his knees and then slumped down till his bottom was on the floor. He wiped his face and the tears came think and fast as he felt his heart tear from his body.

Phil saw what he had done. He tried to maintain his tough exterior. Loki began to wail and wrapped his arms around his chest to give himself the only embrace he felt he would ever get.

"Aaaahh! Loki cried as he turned to find something familiar, something safe and far from here. "I don't want to be alone!" Phil to a step back as Loki looked down at his tails from his jacket and held them, searching for better times on Asgard. "I just want to be loved." He sobbed.

Phil squatted down and looked at him. He placed his hand on his shoulder. Loki looked over at the sympathetic hand then followed it to the face that placed it. "Loki, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Why did you save me if you hate me?" Loki stuttered.

"I didn't know. It was not till you looked at me, I saw it. You have never been loved. Do you know who you want and they don't even notice you?" Loki stopped crying and looked straight at him.

"How did you know?"

"I feel that way."

"But you and Erik. You are lovers are you not?" Loki sat back and brought his knee to his chest.

"Sort of. But the man I love, well he doesn't know I exist, but what is worse, is that he would reject me as soon as I tell him I love him." Phil sat down on the floor next to Loki.

"How would you know that if you have not told him you love him?"

"He does not like men, he's not gay." Phil felt his own heartbreak. "I'm sorry Loki. I was just taking out my problems on you." Phil stood up and stroked Loki's hair gently. He began to walk away. Loki decided he should help.

"I know a spell that could help." He offered with a weak smile. Phil smiled back.

"No, magic wont solve my problem. But thank you." Loki sat and felt he had to say something to make Agent Coulson feel better. It might intern help him feel better too.

"You are not they only one." Loki stood and Phil turned. "I mean I have had sex, but I have never had a man inside me. There was no one I loved, let alone trusted to take my virginity." Loki couldn't believe he said that. Phil looked at him surprised.

"But you and Erik..."

"I'm not counting his errant finger." Loki smiled. "No, no man, ever." Phil found himself draw to Loki.

"Me neither. But then again, I have never.. Well.." Cough. "Had sex with a man either." He looked down and then Loki raised his chin with his curled finger. Loki leaned in and kissed him.

It started softly, then became deeper. The tears fell from both men as they felt something, a longing, that was finally being bought to the forefront. The embraced and kissed as if their lives depended on it. The kisses became breathless as they were deep and neither wanted to break for a breath. They found it hard to breathe with the emotions. Having a runny nose from crying was not the best.

They finally broke and gasped for breath. They opened they eyes as the pressed their foreheads together. Both smiled as they gasped for breath. Wide, exhilarated smiles. They laughed slightly at that fact they were only fighting a few minutes ago.