~ Marcus Kane ~
I wander in the corridors, when suddenly a shout resonates. A heart-rending howl, desperate. I run to the sound, I already know from where it comes. The door is closed, locked. I knock, no answer. I stick my ear to the wall, and hear Abby's weeping. I knock again, in vain.
- Abby! What's happening. Answer, please... Open this door! I beg you!
- Go away Marcus! I don't want to see you! It's all your fault.
I let myself fall, back against the wall, listening her tortured groans on the other side. Some curious get close to me, wondering what's happening here. I expel them away with no explanation. Do I have one? Why Abby is screaming? For Clarke? If only I could know...
- Abby, let me enter, please...
- No way!
I know she needs help, and I would want to be there for her, to save her, I'd want to get the stars and offer her, I'd want to reach the sun and bring its light back... Where's my Abby? Where're her smiles? Where's her laugh?
All of a sudden, I can't hear anything. Silence reigns in the corridors, and in her room.
- Abby?
No answer. I knock on her door, still nothing. What's happening? I feel a long shiver running through my body. I knock as strong as possible, I try to open it, in vain. That's when Octavia pushes me away, and takes her magnetic card. She passes it in front of the handle, and I can hear the door opening. I pull it, and enter in. Abby's laying on the ground, a white liquid flows out her mouth. Frightened, I shake her, I take her head in my hands, I shout her name. I can't lose her, not now. Not ever.
Octavia catches my shoulder, and pull me away. Two men lay down her body on a stretcher, and take her away. I grab her hand, and hold it up to the MedBay.
- What's happening to her?
The two men don't answer. They just say she needs to rest.
- Same as Raven, says Octavia in my back, coldly. We burned out her chip. She has lesions now. Raven told us the protocol to follow to get rid of it. But I can order it without her agreement. She'll wake up, don't worry. Raven explained me everything before she went to space.
I would want Octavia to order it, but I can not insist. She asks Abby's consent, or the one of a family member. I'm none of them. I'm nothing. The room is now empty. I don't drop her hand, and I'll stay here all the night if I have to.
I feel something in my hair. I hardly open my eyes, dazzled by the light. My head's on Abby's belly. She's caressing my head, slowly.
- Marcus, I'm so sorry, she murmurs.
I cross her gaze. Her beautiful gaze, sadly full of pain.
- You don't have to be... I'm here Abby, it's gonna be okay.
- They contacted us... I talked to Raven. Clarke... Clarke is not with them. She stayed on Earth... Marcus... Outside... She saved them... And now... She's not here any more... There are no other bunker outside... She... Raven said that Nightblood might have worked. But... Marcus, it's impossible!
She's weeping all the tears of her body, and I only can hold her hand.
- I've lost my baby... Marcus I've lost her! I've lost her! I saw it in my vision! And I didn't protect her... My sweet baby... My little Clarke... How...
I tight her, powerless.
- I see her face everywhere... When I close my eyes she's here, burned... Why did I let her go? Why?!
- Clarke probably found a solution, she always does. Don't lose hope Ab'... It's not your fault. Trust me.
- Don't lose hope? I'm stuck here for five years! And she's probably dead now! I'm stuck here and I can't do anything. I can't save her, I'm all alone...
- Don't say that! I'm here, I'm here for you, and I'll always be by your side.
She kisses me tenderly, why this so much despair and pain.
- Honey, Raven knows how to save you. You see Clarke because of the injuries in your brain. But it's gonna be okay, they're going to save you.
She sighs.
- No. Marcus, I don't even deserve to live, not like that, she says coldly. You should go eating.
She insists. I understand, she needs time. I go to the canteen, take a tray, sit, but I'm lost in my thoughts. I can only think about her. My sunshine. My reason to live. Who am I without her?
I can save her, I can help. I won't let her give up. I can't lose her, I need her. Everybody here need her. I can't let her believe that it's the end, I can not let her accept to go away, to die. I get up, and run to MedBay.
I push the doors, she's not there. I turn to one of the men, I don't know him. A grounder.
- Where did she go?
- She said she had stuff to do. Medical files to sort I guess.
I rush to her room, enter in. She's right here, on her bed, blank look on her face. I slow down, take a deep breath, and get close to her. She stares at the ceiling, impassible. I take her hand in mine, she removes it immediately.
- Leave me alone Marcus.
- Never.
She sighs.
- You were right. It's not my fault, not only. If you had been inside of the bunker, I won't open it. Clarke won't be gone. If I had not fallen in love with you I would not have opened this hatch. Clarke won't be gone. If I had had the choice between you and her... Clark would be here. I would've chose her, she says coldly.
I feel terrible. I feel like I was stabbed. I feel like falling into an endless hole. She would've chose her, obviously. How could I think something else? I'm selfish. A fool. She already told me that. I try to breath. I know what she is doing. I would have done the same. She wants to push me away. She want me to hate her. She wants me to go away, but I will never leave.
- You don't have the choice. Fight Abby.
- For what? For who? She whispers.
I'm hurt, of course. Her words tear me from the inside. But I know, she doesn't think it. Not really.
- For me. For those who will need a doctor in the next five years, and after. For the hope. Fight Abby! You taught me how to see the hope in front of me. You lightened my world! You can not give up! Not. Like. That. You're a fighter, I know that.
She sighs, again, and looks at me.
- I'll fight for you Abby. I will fight for and against you if I have to. I'll keep you alive, and I'll prove you that life worth it. On the Ark, when Clarke's wristband stopped emitting, you refused to believe in her death! You fought! So fight again! You can not give up, it's not an option.
- What if I do? You won't be able to save me every time Marcus.
- I will not let you do that. I will save you. I will pass every second of my life by your side to remember you that the fight worth it. I will stay awake every night to make sure that you're breathing. I will bring light back in your eyes. Just like you did to me. I will fight for you. In TonDC, in the rubble, you saved me, you didn't give up. Despite all the hate you felt about me, despite all I did, you never stopped fighting to save me. I will do the same. Even if you have to hate me again, I will fight. For you.
A tear rolls on her cheek. And an other. Her lips are shivering, and, slowly, her hand approaches my face. She caresses it gently.
- I love you Abigail Griffin, and I will fight until my last breath to keep you alive.
She kisses me, painfully. Her hands get lost in my hair. I catch her hips, and lean over her. My hands slip on her body, pulling up her shirt till take it off. Then my fingers touch the soft skin of her cambered back. She does not waist time and does the same on me. I can now feel her heart beating against my chest, her hands on my body, caressing my back, holding me, her lips so soft kissing me like the first time, her breath on my face...
- I love you Marcus Kane... I love you I am so sorry...
~ Octavia ~
I try hardly to keep peace inside of this bunker, to unify the clan, but there's nothing left to do. They just don't want to mix. Do they respect me? I would really want to succeed at something, but I'm powerless against 1 200 people. I want to prove them that I'm able to do that. Then I understand how hard it is to lead, how hard it was on the Ark, and why the laws and necessary. I will never forgive them for taking my mother away, for killing her. Never. But I don't have any other choice than accept, in a certain way, that some things are really necessary. I just don't want any violence.
I organize a council, like on the Ark, with a representative of every clan, like a commandant would've do. Like Lexa would've do. I didn't know her very well, but I admired her. She showed an unmatched strength.
Suddenly, the door opens. Indra enters.
- We've to talk.
She sits in front of me.
- What's happening Indra?
- You don't feel good Octavia. You almost don't eat, you barely talk, and since yesterday you spend the major part of you time alone. Talk to me.
I sigh, put my pen down, and stare at her. Indra always knows when something is wrong. I see in her the mother I didn't have for years. She's always ere for me, by my side.
- Some grounders are struggling to adapt to underground life. And I feel a certain hostility between the clans. I don't know how to unify them, there's nothing I can do.
She raises an eyebrow, and stares at me for a while.
- You can only let them time Octavia. Do not force them, and do not obligate them to adapt too fast. Just be here for them. That's all they're expecting from you. But this is not the real problem. You already know all of that. Don't lie to me.
- I'm afraid. I don't know how to handle it five years in this bunker without become crazy! And i'm alone... Bellamy's gone, I don't belong to any clan. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and how to. I will never succeed at this...
A tear falls on the desk. I can't allow myself to be weak.
- You're far away from loneliness. And you don't have to belong to any clan. You unified them, even if right now you can't see it. No war is coming, I can promise it to you. If I understood, the radio contact with sky is back? You can talk with Bellamy whenever you want to now!
She stands up, and takes me in her arms. I'm in tears. I let all the stress, all the anger, the fear and sadness escape.
- You're a leader Octavia, you'll get it. Your brother will be proud of you. And your clan will admire you, just like they did with Lexa. I'm here, do not forget that, she murmurs at my ear.
Night's coming. I would've want to look at the moon. I can't. I get a lap, asking to my guards to leave me alone for once. I need to think.
I wander in the corridors, when suddenly, in a turn, I hit someone. I fall on the ground, and get up instantly, fight position. He's right in front of me, hands in front of his face, to protect himself. He's tall, half-long brown hair, clear skin, musculare.
- Heda, I'm sorry, he says in his native language.
I shrug my shoulders.
- Who're you?
- Ryen, from Trishana.
- It's late, aren't you supposed to sleep?
- I'm supposed to, yes, but I'm not.
I smile a little.
- Try not to delay, days here are long and hard.
I these last words I leave him. I can't help but turn around to watch him go.
