Bobby growled quietly and slapped Crowley's hand from his waist; "stop it. Sam or Dean could walk in any second."
The demon pouted; "come on, Robert. Is it not time you told them about their new evil step mother?"
Bobby rolled his eyes; "how do you think they'd take it?"
"I'm sure they'd welcome me to this freaky family with open arms!"
"I get the feeling they'd stab you with that knife of theirs."
"You wouldn't let them hurt little old me, would you? Think of all the thank you sex you get by saving my life!"
The older hunter couldn't help but smirk; "they still won't take it well."
"Who cares what Pinky and Perky think. One's already having blasphemous sex with an archangel, whilst the other is having blasphemous eye-sex with the cute little blue-eyed one."
"You think Castiel is cute?"
"Don't tell me you don't melt inside when he gives you his kicked puppy look."
"I don't understand how Dean's lasted this long."
"Pigheadedness mainly... Anyway darling, what about us?"
"What about us?"
Crowley smirked, stroking a hand down Bobby's chest; "all the things I know you want to do to me."
"Who says I want to do anything with you?"
"Oh come on you tease!"
Chuckling, Bobby allowed Crowley to pull him in to a soft, lingering kiss.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON?"
"Cas! Purge the images!"
Crowley and Bobby turned to see Sam doing a very good guppy impression, whilst Dean held Cas' hands over his eyes, who was looking at Dean completely baffled.
"Dean, what are you doing with my hands?"
"Get rid of the images! The memories!"
"Hey idjits! You finished?"
Dean and Cas turned to look at an unimpressed Bobby, with his arms folded over his chest. Crowley smirked, slipping an arm around his lover's waist.
"Surprise!"
Sam finally managed to find his tongue; "Bobby? Really? Crowley?"
"It just, kind of happened," Bobby shrugged. Dean shook his head.
"No! I can't believe you Bobby! Especially after everything with Ruby!"
"Hey! I'm not sucking his blood!"
"But he is sucking something else," Crowley grinned. Sam and Dean flinched, hiding their faces in their hands and groaning.
"Gross! There is not enough brain bleach in the universe!"
Castiel frowned; "I don't understand what Crowley is implying."
"Oh come on, Cas! You can't be that naive!"
"Fellatio, love," Crowley chuckled. Castiel nodded, still frowning; Bobby had finally succumbed to hiding his face in his hands, whilst Dean began whimpering, screwing his eyes shut.
"Ah-hah! This is where the party is!" Gabriel sang, marching in to the kitchen; "what's going on?"
"Did you know ? About Bobby? And Crowley?" Sam asked, louder than necessary. Gabriel looked at the older men and grinned.
"Yeah. Gave them an amalgamation too! Crobby! Right?"
Crowley nodded, rolling his eyes. Sam did a double take.
"You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?"
"You didn't ask, Sammy-boy."
`"Why would I have asked? This is the kind of info you're supposed to share! You'd have told me if Cas and Dean-"
"-Destiel."
"...What?"
"I call them Destiel."
"...Whatever, you'd tell me when they finally realise their love for each other!"
"Because their tragic relationship id the romance of the century!"
"Hey!" Dean scowled.
"-And Crobby are, quite frankly, gross."
"Hey!" Bobby argued. Dean looked up at his father figure, shrugging.
"Sorry Bobby. He's right."
Bobby huffed out a deep breath; "well you'd better get over it. Crowley's not going anywhere."
Dean groaned; "I'm going to go drown myself in alcohol."
"Dean. That doesn't seem advisable!" Cas called, following Dean out of the kitchen.
