Chapter 2: Mantra


"Did you sleep well?" Aizen had not thought much about the quietness that had shrouded them as they sat in the kitchen eating the plates of sandwiches and salad that had been prepared. He usually ate in silence and he assumed that Ichigo did too seeing as they had both previously lived alone. But, and it intrigued him, there was something a little off with the youth since his fall. The set of his shoulders, the meagre amount he had eaten, the slight shake that was still evident in his fingers.

"Yes thank you." Ichigo responded quietly to his lap where he his head had been dropped throughout the entire meal. His voice was quiet and Aizen noticed not without a hint of that shake too. The recent events had all been a little traumatic, maybe now it was only showing through? Or it could be the strain of an additional thing to get used to living here too? Even, Aizen wondered, was it the complete opposite of that? Ichigo was struggling to keep everything still contained as he felt far from comfortable and able to let his feelings go.

"Are you in any discomfort?" His hand had reached Ichigo's wrist to stroke the back as he usually did. Ichigo felt himself breathe out slowly and take solace in that one comforting touch. Aizen wasn't through with him yet, he still had a chance. "Do you need more medication?"

"If I could please." Aizen rose from his seat, feeling that the pain might be the simple explanation his behaviour. He looked at the packet and the instructions and noticed Ichigo was late by an hour. The poor boy must be in quite some degree of pain and yet he had said nothing.

Ichigo kept his head down, reverent almost to the man giving him so much thought. He had already decided not to waste time on wondering if he was pretending how much he felt for Ichigo, Ichigo wasn't going to question it. Call it denial if you want, he couldn't face the possibility that he would indeed be sent packing. Instead, subconsciously his mind was coming slowly to the conclusion that in order to keep in his good graces, Ichigo would become that perfect Princess Aizen so seemed to want. He'd let himself fall into the role given to him, give himself bodily and soul to show how much he truly loved Aizen Sosuke. A mantra seemed to implant itself inside his thought patterns. To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. Ichigo didn't know where that thought had come from but it sounded poetic and kind of romantic. He repeated it again and again, feeling the wash of comfort settle in his stomach and calm his nerves. He repeated it again and again almost not hearing what Aizen said next.

"I shall set the timer so that we do not miss your next dose." Aizen took Ichigo's hand and placed a glass of water in his hands. "Open your mouth for me." He placed the tablets on his tongue, sure his numb hands would not feel the tiny objects. "You must tell me if you are in pain Ichigo." Aizen left his hand on the boys shoulder and let his thumb press in circles over the tightness of his muscles. The ginger spikes nodded as he downed the capsules and water. Aizen leaned to take the plates from the table. "Have you eaten enough?"

"I have thank you."

"What would you like to do this afternoon?" The pause was long, but Aizen was not going to supply a quick easy answer for the kid, he suspected he would just agree with him anyway.

"What do princesses do when they are in their ivory towers?" The head looked up and it unnerved Aizen that he didn't looked directly at him. That was something he was finding hard to get used to, especially when he had adored the sparkle and wonder the boy used to look at him with.

"They sit looking beautiful for their prince."

"Oh." He watched the boy raise his hand and touch the bandaging. To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me.

"Is it troubling you?"

"What?"

"The dressing? Would you like it removed?"

"But... The scars." They wouldn't look very beautiful he was sure. Not by the way they felt taught and rigid. Not by the way they felt hot and itchy or tender to his touch.

"They are irritated by the fabric?"

To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. "I won't look very beautiful... Far from it." Does he want me to take them off? Am I questioning him when a princess would not?

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Aizen's fingers slid to the dressing fastening. "Besides, scarred or not, I am only glad you are with me." That seemed to help and Ichigo relaxed a little which made Aizen smile. "Ichigo, my priority is your comfort, not my own. It would please me to find that my home and company offered you the comfort and healing you needed at this time."

Ichigo's hands reached up to touch those at his temples. "I need to make you happy Sosuke." He whispered daring to speak his newly realised thoughts. "I've never been a princess before. I need you to guide me. Tell me what you would like, what I should do." Tell me how not disappoint you. How do I not get thrown out in the trash? How do I show you I love you & that I want to be with you?

Aizen bent to kiss the softly frowning forehead and Ichigo felt the lips smile as he spoke with his lips resting against his skin. "A princess should think nothing but of pleasing his prince, so you should gain the rewards for thinking so much of my happiness. I will take care of you, because in turn, your devotion takes care of me." Aizen felt as if he were declaring his vows, making a binding contract of love to live by. He stood by his words, he wanted to affirm his affections and promise that Ichigo was his dearest desire for all time. The bandaging fell from Ichigo's face and Aizen set it aside to study the face that he'd always thought was perfect. Ichigo had instinctively closed his eyes, maybe he'd never had them open this whole time, Aizen wasn't sure. But in his silent moments he could see through those scars now, see the young man beneath them that still shone with a radiance he had wanted to own. He cupped the boys cheeks and lets his soft lips touch the lesser scarred areas on his brows that were therefore less prone to be in pain.

"Is this the point I wonder that my Princes happiness is enough reward for me?" Ichigo smiled slightly at the feel of the lips against his tender flesh, he felt and cherished what those lips meant.

"You know this game better than you let on." Aizen whispered marvelling at the small smile he had seen. He was right, Ichigo had studied the roles of dominate males in society for Uni and the roles of subservient slaves who earn their masters love. It was no doubt this study that had lead him subconsciously towards his current path. "In return, Ichigo, you'll never want for anything, never fear anything, never need anything but your prince. He'll take you to heights of pleasure, send your body wild with passion. He'll take care of you, real care of you." His fingers traced the boys jaw leaving a trail of tingling wonder. "Can I taste you now Ichigo." He asked his words punctuated by a trail of kisses down the delicious long neck.

"Yes."To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. He wanted that love so desperately his heart was hammering in his chest. To still feel wanted meant such a lot.

"Can I show you how much you mean to me?" Aizen rechecked his intentions and that Ichigo understood them.

Oh please touch me, show me, love me. Ichigo cried silently in his head. "Yes." Ichigo groaned at the feeling of lips suckling below his ear. Two arms lifted him bodily from the seat and carried him back to the bedroom. There was no hesitation, no signs of struggling with the weight in his arms, no lack of confidence for what was coming. With all of that self-assurance Ichigo's reservations were swept away with the promise of an open demonstration of Aizen's feelings. Yet to hear the words of love from his partner, Ichigo still wanted so much to know he was cared for, wanted even. Now scarred and useless, it was even more important to feel his affections were returned. If pleasing Aizen in the way he wanted got him that he would do anything. Never mind that without his eyes, everything that Aizen was doing to him was sending him quickly into a submissive oblivion.

Aizen had removed each item of clothing with kisses and touches to all the skin he revealed. He lapped up each moan and whimper that came from his compliant princess. The young man looked every bit as gorgeous as he knew he would. The superb lines of his delicate features, the shapely feminine hips, long toned legs and chiselled abdomen and pecs were all so delicious. Aizen watched his catch mewl and shimmy beneath his hands and lips. He devoted his every moment to pushing away the pains he'd suffered, taking the thoughts that would have let him continue in his depression. Aizen loved to watch his soon to be lover submit to his ministrations, enjoying them so freely, his princess was a prize he wasn't ever going to let go of.

When it came to the time to breach past Ichigo's wonder and make him his completely. Aizen did it with such tenderness, Ichigo only felt the goodness spreading over him. Previous partners had never been this considerate and every stroke inside him was intoxicating.

Without his sight Ichigo had nothing to rely on by the information flowing from his other senses. He was acutely aware of minute movements that accompanied his lovers rapid breaths by the way the air flew about his face, rustling his hair with each tiny breath, or how the pants echoed inside the mouth that hung close to his ear before passing with a small gush and grunt over his sensitive sweat damp neck. His lovers chest rose and fell above him, only just barely touching his own and then not, and then touching before it was gone again. The thrusting action breaching his body attributed to this, but the breathing seemed to flow and ebb with the push and pull of each motion. Each push in and the breathy sounds were louder, intensified by the constricted feelings that left his partner a moment of increased pleasure; the pull out seemed to signify a slight relief in the throws of euphoria as the sound was quieter and gave a gentler gust of wind.

From the feel of the air surrounding him, he knew his body was heating up, he could feel the sweat pooling to from droplets on his brow. They increased in size with each heartbeat that took him closer to his goal of release. Beneath his palms that splayed wide on his lovers lower back he could tell that Sosuke too was heating up rapidly.

The sounds rushing into his ears were wondrous and he soaked them up as they continued to aid his building pleasure. Every gasp and groan were noticed, not only those of Aizen but of his own too. The bed beneath him shivered and shook with their fervent progression upward. The sheets scraped and rustled from all angles around. Their soft cotton now felt rough on his tenderised skin as it was saturated and bombarded with masses of tactile stimulation, with each crease telling the tale of how it became so.

The sense of touch was probably his biggest undoing. There was no escaping the weight on top of him, pressing him deeper into the mattress with each increased stab into his willing flesh. The belly above him and his below crushed and ground his erection into submissive waves of wonder. Every soft caress of the hair he remembered as brunet, brushed on his shoulder caused him to shiver with delight and the fingers that entwined over his above his head cursed him for their message of support and devotion. Even their legs, spoke so much of this joining. They wrapped tightly together no only to add more emphasis on the heady pressure into his love chamber, but to be as close and as 'one' as they humanly could. Each of them wanted to be consumed as to bask in this experience. It was vivid and reeked of pure selfish need, but they both needed it. Needed to be one. Together. Safe. Joined.

"Ichi..." Sosuke was unable to finish his sentence, his mind was slipping into a numb state that signalled his end. His warning was given that his body had taken and given all it could and Ichigo understood. But the syllables drifted over him like a magical net, drawing out that peak of perfection that made all this effort so worthwhile. His lips opened in a cracked cry of distress as his body convulsed and throbbed. His seed gushed between them and his fingers grasped his love in desperation. The world and his worries floated away in a nanosecond as Heaven called instead.

Aizen's eyes were heavy lidded, yet they didn't miss the draw of Ichigo's brow and the open cry of his beautifully shaped lips as he wept his high, nor the tight clenching of his eyes. He was beautiful in that moment of abandonment. Just beautiful. No sunset on this earth could have compared.

Sosuke dropped his head, as his body flip flopped in a jerking fashion. He flowed the essence of his life into the boy beneath him and felt his body slide to mush as the boys arms wrapped tightly around his neck holding him tight, holding his lips to the boys ear and absorbing every single wanton pant and heavy groan that left his lips. Ichigo wouldn't let those sounds go to waste, they were precious as the last drops of water in a desert. He needed them. He needed Sosuke and his love. These moments of open vulnerability connected them. Their souls were melded, indelibly linked forever. Never would they forget this experience. It was intense, so intense.

The rumbles of worry slid back over Aizen's face as he slid in a sweaty slick to Ichigo's side. Their arms refused to release each other, but the tightness holding the older man seemed strained.

To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. Waves of intense gratitude were washing over Ichigo, forcing all his restrained emotions into a heady mess he was struggling to control. His body trembled with that force as it writhed to consume his being.

"Ichigo... I'm sorry." Aizen thought he had gone too far too soon. He'd rushed and bullied him in his typical style. The tremble that began to build inside Ichigo was spilling into his joints and his body built up to silent sobs that broke Sosuke as he watched the beauty slide into his emotional pain.

He drew the limp creature into his arms and held the boys ginger head against this chest as the sobs gained sound and echoed around the room. Dipping his head into the mess of orange, he cradled and rocked the young man gently soothingly shushing into his ear and whispering his apologies.

Ichigo's fingers dug into Aizen's back as he held on for this life and was helpless to stop the irrational stirrings of emotions. He didn't like to feel this way. But he did. Lost all of a sudden after such a momentous high, the coming down had been too much after so much recent upheaval. The equilibrium of his life was thrown and he no longer knew how to rely on himself. Once so independent and strong, this spell of darkness had made him loose his footing.

"Ichigo?"

"I wanna go home." The boy spoke through his tears and Sosuke felt like a villain for stealing what shouldn't have been his. At his age, he should have known better. Ichigo was far away from readiness to be a sexual partner. He's mistakenly thought that this would be a cure for all ails but it had been a short cut to disaster instead. A beautiful but doomed short cut.

"You are home." Was whispered into his ear. "You don't need to run from me. I'm here for you."

"No... I'm so stupid... This all..."

"Shush now, you don't need to explain. I rushed you, that was unforgivable. What kind of caretaker am I scaring my princess into giving away what she wasn't ready to give."

And that was it, the cement in his new resolve confirming his mantra and new beliefs. So long as Ichigo was his princess, he'd be safe. He'd keep within Aizen's good books and live within this ivory tower protected, comforted and hidden. Right now that's just what he wanted. He tucked tighter into the embrace around him and let himself calm.

"I love you Sosuke."

"I know. I know you do."

Sosuke was not surprised his new house mate slept from their encounter right around until morning, no doubt he would have gone beyond that if left. Aizen couldn't leave him, as peaceful as he looked, as beautiful as he looked. Seating himself on the side of the bed, his hip nestled against the bedding bulged over Ichigo's form. With a soft stoke in those locks of sunshine Aizen called his beauty's name softly. Ichigo wrinkled his nose and scrunched up his shoulders as he began to wake.

"Breakfast my Princess." Aizen's fingers kept stroking softly until Ichigo appeared awake enough to groan and open his eyes. The fingers faulted in their action. The scarring across the boys eyes was fully unveiled to him now, where as before he'd been saved the full onslaught by the bandaging and Ichigo keeping his eyes closed. Where there had once been white there was now a red blotchy mass of broken and shredded veins. Where there had been chocolate brown and a perfect iris there was a mess of white scars and the tissue around the eye was raised red and swollen although not as angry as he'd seen it when removing the bandaging after lunch. The eye ball itself was no longer rounded, it looked as if it were scarred deep, dented and misshapen. "Open for your medicine." Aizen interrupted his own pitying thoughts forcing his moments of silence into action. It was obvious by the pinching at the corners that Ichigo was in some degree of pain and he had just seen why that would be. The tablets were placed on his charges tongue and with his head raised Aizen put the glass to his lips. "Hungry?"

Ichigo nodded putting his head back down with a sigh.

"Then unless you wish me to feed you, I suggest I dress your hands." As Ichigo's battered hands were unveiled from the bedding, the dressing looked in poor state. "I doubt I will do such a good job as the nurses did."

"I don't mind." Ichigo's morning voice croaked.

With the softest of touches, much kinder or less efficient, Sosuke removed the sticky tape that held on the strips of dressing that protected the worse damage to his hands. The middle of his palms along with the plump heel were still shedding layers of damaged and scorched skin. In a few places the skin was thin enough for the podgy mass of veins and muscle to be visible.

"I have had a phone call this morning. The rehabilitation team are sending someone to assess your needs today."

"Oh."

"No doubt it will just be a round of questions." Aizen finished cleaning the wounds and them began applying the creams.

"Erm." Ichigo nodded.

"As much as I love tending to you my darling, I will need to return to work soon."

To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. "You want me able to care for myself."

"Of course, what life would you have otherwise?"

"I don't know..." Ichigo frowned. Not a good one. Not one where he still lived with his Sosuke and getting his reward of being wanted and needed.

"Come come, up you get, quick shower and then we can eat before your co-ordinator gets here." Aizen suffered no delays and tugged back the cover and urged Ichigo upright. He steadied his gate as he walked to the bathroom with minor adjustments on Aizen's part to steer him towards the right door. It really was a wonder that the boy had remembered that much already, he felt a proud swell in his chest and taking Ichigo's hand in his own, showed him how to adjust the shower. Two bags secured over his hands, Ichigo stepped naked into the falling water and nodded to the instructions called to him about which bottle was which in the shelf at his elbow. Suds in and bubbling over his shoulders, Ichigo's numb mind began to finally awaken. The halting way it thought of late felt just as awful as the lack of senses his body had relied heavily on before. Ichigo felt half the person he used to be and even more useless than that. Not only did his sight look bleak but so did his prospects.

Aizen had tried to have a conversation with him when he was still in the hospital about his finances but he was barely in a state to take in what was said. His mortgage went out of his bank monthly automatically but with no wages going in, there was little to prop up that expense. He hadn't had enough savings gathered thanks to his love of motor bikes to suffer more than maybe another two payments three at most. What the hell was he going to do? Selling the place seemed like the only option available and that wasn't cheap in itself. There were building surveys, sellers packs and eco ratings to be paid for, that on top of solicitors and estate agent's fees.

"You have soap behind this ear." Aizen's fingers reached into the shower cubicle, his fingers touching the damp hair before his words had even been spoken. Ichigo jolted with surprise holding a hand to his chest as his heart beat frantically. "I thought you heard me." Aizen's long arms worked the water over the orange locks to shed the last of the shampoo's froth. "I didn't mean to scare you. I apologise."

"Sosuke?" Ichigo's hands both gripped the shower taps and began to twist them off.

"Yes my Princess?" Aizen's body heat accompanied the towel that arrived on his shoulders.

"I know you've told me this..."

"Questions are the work of a keen mind Ichigo, poor memory however makes a bad bedfellow." Ichigo had heard that quip before and mentally scolded himself for having not concentrated at the time, and then sharpened his mind now to remember and record the answer. "My flat."

"Ahh well, you were on quite high dosage pain killers at the time, it is no wonder you do not recall the details." Aizen began to rub the luxury towels over his lovers body trying to get him dry and avoid any chill. "I took the liberty of assigning an agent to rent the flat out for you. Currently they are finalizing the required documents and my solicitors are awaiting their inspection. At that point, I assumed you would be in better mind to make a decision on sale or rent. Needless to say, I was glad it didn't come to a decision that you were to return there."

"My mortgage..."

"Will be easily met by the rental fee. The rates are much higher than your mortgage payments."

"You took care of all that for me?"

"I was fairly positive you would worry about it. For such an adrenaline junkie, you do seem to worry excessively. As I said, I only arranged for the paperwork to start, I did not have the authority to do any more than that. When you are ready, you can sign the agreements."

"Thank you."

"It is no bother. I am an organised person, I enjoy order and forward planning so much so that I can now predict your next question." Ichigo answered with only a slight raising of his eyebrows. The taller man now roughing up the orange hair under a thick cream towel smiled at the gesture. "You are still being paid as per your contract. It does cover you for long term absences of this nature."

"Its not like I can go back is it?" Ichigo wondered at the stalled movement on his hair.

"Is that what you think?"

"I don't have to think about it do I? Surely it's fairly obvious."

"I didn't take you for such a pessimist." Aizen's fingers began towelling Ichigo's hair again.

"Realist." Ichigo felt the towel being removed and heard a deep intake of air before Aizen breathed out with a deep sigh. Hands gripped his upper arms and a nose rubbed against his.

"I don't like to hear you talk like this."

"Sorry." Ichigo apologised quickly wanting to drop his head away from the gaze that was no doubt scrutinising his every expression.

"Lord knows you have every right to feel damned Ichigo, I just didn't..." Aizen stopped himself, he didn't want to sound as if Ichigo had let him down. The little boy submissive was out to play and Aizen was going to have to watch his words. No, he changed his mind, instead of changing his thoughts he'd use Ichigo's game against himself. "From now on, I expect you to work hard at becoming independent. This attitude of yours will not help, I will not allow it." Ichigo's body stilled almost as if he'd received a slap to the face and Aizen wondered if he had gone a little too far. He caressed the boys arms with this thumbs and leaned a little lower to place his lips upon the boys and kiss him softly. His tongue ran along the seam and enjoyed the easy parting of Ichigo's mouth. Arms wound around his waist and Aizen wasted no time showing Ichigo how much he was wanted. The response he got was more than satisfying, more than happy to reciprocate, yet testing and pushing for recognition. There was a spark to the joining that was louder than the meek and mild creature that had been on display so far. "That is my Ichigo." Aizen smiled pulling away. "The Ichigo I want to see more of."

Ichigo had been swept into the emotion pushed his way and forgotten himself. The meaning behind his lovers words was skewed to the most literal translation. Aizen wanted him to be amenable, available at his request and his pace. He wanted a sexually compliant mate. Being docile, available and willing since he had over heard that meeting had seemed to keep Aizen's reassurances coming. In contrast this morning when he had been difficult and sulky, Aizen had wanted to step away and back to work. It wasn't mental maths but it all added up.

"I've laid you some clothes on the bed. Underwear on the left. I'll be in the kitchen when you are done." Ichigo nodded and listened to the click of his lovers heals leave the room, they trailed away ever quieter into the hallway and out of his hearing range.

"Get it together Ichigo!" He whispered harshly. "You are such a fucking idiot!" He hated himself for his weak moments, his faults, his uncertainty. This living hell was of his making and the torment would only continue if he didn't uphold his mantra. "To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me. To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me." He repeated it under his breath as he turned to where he hoped the doorway was. Under his bare feet, he felt the tile cold and smooth and only a guessed 10 steps forward his big toe felt the edge of the bedroom carpet. His arms reached up either side of him and felt a thankful ease for having angled his walk perfectly to the door frame. That meant the bed was only 20 paces just slightly to his right. His feet again sent him waves of information about the pile, the softness, the edge of the rugs at the side of the bed. His hands reached forward and he was indeed at the bed. Going barefooted them seemed to make a great deal of sense.

"To obey, to think, to love and be grateful for all Sosuke is to me." Ichigo whispered over and over as he dressed. That was his pattern for life, his rule book to follow from here on. It made Sosuke happy, it therefore made Ichigo just as happy. He got what he needed because Aizen had what he desired. So from now on, without question, he would obey instructions given to him. He'd think of nothing about himself and only of how he could make his partner happy. Any reward he got back would be because Aizen felt he deserved it and Ichigo in turn would be grateful for all the tiny insignificant things the older man did for him. Aizen didn't show his love in words, he did it with actions, touches, thoughtful preparations. Ichigo smiled slightly as his fingers came across his beloved jumper. It had even been put out for him to wear today. Aizen was more than thoughtful, he was a God. Ichigo's God.


A chapter a day until this catches up to where it was before okay!