A/N: Oh my gosh guys you are amazing! I never expected such a response to this fic so I thank you all so much for your reviews, alerts and favorites! I'm gonna respond to the last few reviews I just couldn't resist uploading the next chapter for you all as a thank you! enjoy!
"You're not supposed to look back; you're supposed to keep going."
― Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones
One Year Later
Chapter 1: Kevin
Kevin had been the first to break away.
Kevin stepped out of the shower onto the fluffy pink bath mat hastily feeling around the vanity counter for his glasses. When he found them he fumbled them on his face only to find that the lenses had fogged over with the humidity in the room. He sighed and wrapped the towel tighter around his waist. He headed for the door and left, flicking off the light on his way out.
He adjusted the towel as he made his way over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Pulling a glass from the cupboard above his head he proceeded to fill it with water before taking a long drink.
When he placed the glass on the countertop he felt a strong tingling fill his nose before he sneezed loudly. He regained his stance before another couple sneezes rang through the quiet apartment. Cursing loudly he grasped for a Kleenex, a series of mumbles escaping quietly from his lips. When he brought the tissue down to throw it away under the sink he sighed when he saw the German shepherd happily wagging his tail in an excited motion. Rolling his eyes he proceeded to walk towards Penelope's bedroom, choosing to ignore the mangy mutt. The dog whined and Kevin noticed he had his bowl in his teeth, edging it closer to Kevin's feet with his nose.
"Shoo!" he exclaimed quietly. "Didn't Penelope feed you today already?" he sneered and the animal cocked its head before Kevin rolled his eyes again, proceeding to continue to the bedroom. He sneezed again, his face grimacing before he took another deep breath in an attempt to calm his frustration. He wiped his nose and sneered internally: when was she going to find a home for that damn dog! Ever since Derek Morgan's disappearance the animal had been there, as she had insisted she couldn't bear to see the 'puppy' given to the pound. It made Kevin angry: she knew about his allergies!
Clooney tried to follow him but Kevin shooed him again, causing the dog to whine and run back into the living room. He looked over at his girlfriend.
"Hey Penny, when are you going to find a home for…Clooney?" he struggled for a moment to remember the dog's name. He sniffled again, grabbing another Kleenex from the dresser.
Penelope was currently lying under her royal purple comforter; a large binder was propped comfortably in her lap as she laid back against one of her many fluffy pillows. She brought the comforter higher up her body and looked down at the ratty binder. It was filled to the bursting with pictures and miscellaneous items carefully glued on the pages with care. This book had always been special to her over the years, but these days it seemed more like it was her sanity's lifeline. She took it everywhere with her. Her baby blue painted nail traced over the picture she was currently looking at and she smiled lightly, a single tear sliding down her pale cheek.
On the open page of the binder there were several pictures of him and her neatly glued to the pages. There was one of their road trip to the coast last summer, one of him kissing her cheek under some mistletoe at the Christmas party, one of them on a Ferris wheel, the pictures and smiling memories seemed to be unending. She brought a tissue under her glimmering eye and took a deep breath as she continued to flip through the pages of the extremely thick scrapbook. Continuing to smile at the pictures her attentions were completely focused on her lap.
She was so immersed in the photographs in the book she hadn't noticed the beads leading into her bedroom clack together as they were pushed aside. The man casually sauntered over to the other side of the queen bed and pulled back the comforter's top and slid underneath before aligning his body so it would be easier for him to lean his head on his arm. Adjusting his thick rimmed glasses he brought them off of his nose and folded them, setting them on one of the nightstands next to her bed. He rolled back over and looked at the woman huddled under the covers, his dark eyebrow quirking up in question.
"Penny…what are you doing?" he asked quietly and she didn't answer him, clearly too enamoured with the album in her hands to have heard him. He cleared his throat again and placed a hand on her covered thigh. "Penny." He said a little more forcefully and this caused her to shake her head slightly, bringing her forth from her daze.
"Oh. Hey Kev. Did you have a good…shower?" she asked and he shrugged slightly, leaning on his hand again.
"Sorta I guess." He stated before looking at her slightly smirking "I was…hoping you'd join me." He suggested and she shook her head slightly before looking back down at her lap.
"I had one earlier. My hair's just finishing drying now. See?" she pointed to her head and he raised a brow before looking to the side.
"…yea. That wasn't what I was-" he stopped when he noticed she was completely no longer listening to him. His eyes rolled in annoyance and he sighed again before getting a different idea. He hopped onto his knees and began crawling toward her, his right palm resting on the other side of her body he suggestively smirked and waggled his brow.
"Penny…you know I've been thinking…" He started and she only half gazed at him, her attention still mostly on the pictures.
"Hm?" she acknowledged and he smirked again, beginning to press his lips to her jaw in frequent kisses.
"It's…been a long time since we…did the horizontal tango." He smirked and rose a brow at her "…if you…catch my drift." He smirked and continued pressing his lips on her jaw, beginning to work his way down her neck. Penelope's eyes drifted from the page she was looking at and turned to look at him. She lightly brought her hand to his chest and pushed him gently back from her.
"Kevin…do you mind? I'm sort of…doing something right now." She fidgeted and went back to looking at the precious memories. This rejecting motion caused Kevin's eyes to narrow and he sat up straight on the mattress before looking down at the photo album as well.
"Doing something?" he spat in a slight accusatory tone and rolled his eyes "You look at that thing nearly every night don't you think you could I don't know…take a night off? Spend some time with me for a change? Devote some time to us?" he snarled and she looked at him, her eyes filled with surprise and slight hurt at his tone.
"Kevin what are you talking about? I-" she started to speak but he was already up and out of her bed, pacing the room like impatient animal waiting to be fed.
"I'm talking about us Penny." He began "I've tried to be patient with you but…sometimes I have needs." He whined and continued pacing the carpet. She instinctively brought the book closer to her chest and she shook her head slightly.
"Kev…sorry…what are you saying?" she said gently "I'm sort of…confused." She said quietly before she watched as her boyfriend continued his ranting.
He sighed; obviously frustrated with her obliviousness and his bare shoulders slumped as he rolled his eyes. "Penny. I'm talking about…that." He motioned to the scrapbook held gingerly in her embrace. "The…remembering you do." He stated carefully before crossing his arms over his chest in defence.
A look of hurt crossed her softened features as she blinked slightly "What…what are you talking about?" she asked and a slight frown crossed her lips evidencing her confusion at his ranting.
"Penny…" he said softly before sighing deeply and brought his fingers to his temples, beginning to massage them with his palms as he paced along the floor. Kevin had always had an annoying habit of pacing the room when he was thinking and she could tell that he was currently doing a lot of it. Gulping she felt her heart constrict in anticipation…what was he getting at?
Kevin walked through the beads into the living room of her apartment and returned with several picture frames nestled in his arms. He dumped them carelessly onto the comforter in front of her, the glass making some nasty clinks as they clacked against each other. Penelope's lips turned down into a frightfully confused frown and she blinked before looking up at Kevin's serious gaze. "What are you doing with those…?" she asked and Kevin sighed before grunting angrily in response, picking one of the larger frames off of the plush bed.
"I'm talking about these!" he barked and motioned to the framed photograph in his clenching fingers.
That one was one of her favorites. It was a sunny picture Reid…no, JJ had taken of her and Morgan last July while at the annual company picnic. Morgan had been laughing so hard when the picture had been taken; his strong arms were wrapped tightly around Penelope's form to prevent him from falling over from the hysterics he was in. This hilarious display had caused her to laugh as well and JJ had snapped a candid picture of the moment with her camera. The picture had instantly become one of Penelope's most precious ones she had of them and had been promptly framed in one of her best frames: one her own parents had given her a few birthdays before they had been taken from her. Kevin waved it slightly and she narrowed her eyes protectively.
"Kevin! Put that down before you break it!" she cried and quickly tore the blanket from her legs before bounding over, snatching the frame from his grasp. He glared at her angrily and continued his heated ranting.
"See! That's what I'm talking about! It's all becoming way too much!" he said haughtily and turned away from her arms crossed in annoyance.
"What on earth are you talking about, Kevin?! What is becoming too much?!" she placed the picture carefully down on her chest of drawers before Kevin spun around wildly, pointing to the photo album on the bed as well as the rest of the frames.
"I'm talking about THOSE!" he hissed before he brought his palms to his forehead. "It's all becoming way too much Penny. I can't…" he panted before shaking his head slowly. "I can't…do this anymore." He stated point blankly before she narrowed her eyes again. She could feel her heart slowly crushing under the heat of his words and she blinked back a few tears threatening to escape her trembling eyes.
"You can't do what anymore, Kevin?" Penelope spat and he shook his head slowly, looking her dead in her wavering gaze.
"I've tried to be there for you. I've listened to you, held you every night for months when you cried your eyes out over this, took care of you, I just-I can't do this anymore." He sputtered, a bit of his own heated anger was fading and there were waves of pain beginning to crack into his voice. "I just…I can't do it anymore." He said finally and shook his head. "You…refuse to get help for this. I just-"
Holding up a shaking hand in her anger Penelope took a step forward. "You…You are not going here tonight Kevin. I am not in the mood to go into this with you." She choked and a few tears began to cascade down her cheeks.
Kevin narrowed his eyes again and felt something inside him snap.
He let out a dry chuckle before motioning to the many pictures still in a heap on her bed. "Oh I am going into this Penelope because enough is enough!" he screamed. "Someone needs to go here with you and I never thought it would be me but I guess it's gonna have to be!" he spat and continued his heated rage "I know this has been incredibly…impossibly hard for you to accept, but you have to come to the reality of it somehow Penny. I know it's been an extremely hard year for you and the rest of your precious team but you are going to have to come to the conclusion sometime!" he took a few deep breaths, his shoulders and jaw tightening as he spoke.
Penelope's amber eyes were sparkling beneath her glasses and her entire body was quaking in a mixture of fear, anger, and extreme sadness. Her lower lip trembled as she saw him step forward, grab the frame off the dresser and throw it angrily down onto the floor in front of her feet. She heard a small clink as she could only look back up at her angered boyfriend in shock.
"I want you to listen to me clearly as I will only say this once." He said lowly before staring at her coldly. "Derek Morgan is dead. He was murdered by an un-identified 'unsub' a year ago. Murdered." He repeated and her watering eyes widened as her lips parted slightly, tears streaming down her face as he spoke. Whether or not Kevin noticed-or cared-about her mortified reaction he only continued.
"He's gone." He finished frigidly and narrowed his eyes to only harden his point.
When he realized the damage he had done to the shaking woman before him his gaze softened…Shit…he really should learn to watch his temper. Sighing deeply he took a step towards her, hand outstretched. "Penny…I'm sorry…I didn't…I shouldn't."
Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her fists clenched into her palms so hard the tips of her fingers turned white. Her body shook violently and she slowly raised her arm pointing through the beaded door.
"Get out." She said simply and kept her eyes closed.
His mouth wavered and he shook his head "Penny-I'm so-"
"Out." She hissed dangerously.
Soon the only sound that could be heard in the dimmed apartment were her quiet sobs as she leaned down and gingerly picked up the fallen frame from the carpet. With baited breath she turned it over to reveal their still smiling faces. She felt a pang in her heart as she noticed the fracture in the glass right through his smiling face. Gasping quietly she brought the frame to her chest, miserably walking back to her bed she quietly got back under the comforter. She pulled it over her knees and settled down in the bed. Looking up at the ceiling silently she held the precious memory close to her as she counted the stubbles.
It wasn't before long that she heard a faint whimpering from the entranceway to her bedroom. It was a pained, frightened sound that broke the silence that was shrouding the apartment. She sat up in bed and looked towards the opening in the wall. Two sad brown eyes stared into hers and the animal's tail was pressed firmly between his legs as his entire body shook underneath him. Her eyes softened and her lips turned downwards…he must have heard the heated exchange. She outstretched her arms and motioned with her fingers towards her.
"Clooney…its okay now…I'm sorry you heard that honey. Come here sweetie…" She said softly and the frightened dog looked around for a second before quickly bounding across the room and onto her bed. The animal dove into her outstretched arms and began nuzzling her chin. She kissed the dog's head gingerly and lay back down keeping her arms firmly around the warm puppy. She brought her fingers over the dog's ears and there was a small whimper from the still-trembling Shepherd. She buried her face in the dog's fur as she sniffled. The animal continued whining and she stroked him gently.
"I know sweetie…I know." She choked and looked up as she gazed at the cracked picture in her hand again. "I miss him too." She cried silently.
"I miss you so much Derek."
A/N: Kevin gets the ole' heave ho fairly quickly in this one. Keep in mind it has been a year since the prologue's events, so there's obviously been a lot of build-up between them even before this story begins. We'll hear more about it later!
as always let me know what you thought!
