I first off want to say a big thank you and I 3 U to wytchwmn75, she puts up with my ass and I owe her big for that... I also want to thank everyone who reviewed and alerted my first little ditty... So without further ado...on with the... oh wait...
Disclaimer: Do I really need to remind you that I don't own? SM owns the characters, me just the plot...
BPOV
It was early Sunday morning and I groaned as I heard my Blackberry vibrating on my nightstand. "Unfuckingbelievable not even 9am," I said without looking at the caller ID I grumble out "'ello?"
"Rise and shine!" Alice sang into the phone.
"Alice it's too damn early for this today…."
"No way, you, me and Rose, lunch noon Palisade at Elliot Bay Marina."
"Ugh, that's fine, I'll be there with bells on."
"Oh Bella, bells just don't work for you…. We've had this discussion," Alice giggled.
"Okay Alice, I will be there, and I will attempt to be presentable."
"Great! I'm so excited!" Alice practically yelled into the phone. I pulled the phone away from my ear and closed my eyes tightly as I hung up the phone without saying good-bye.
I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but all I could think about were his lips and the way he kissed me on Friday night. Throwing the covers off of me, I stumbled my way into the kitchen, in desperate need of coffee and copious amounts.
While my trusty coffee maker sputtered with the aroma of Komodo Dragon, I turned on my heels and made my way to my bathroom.
Once I was all clean and a little more awake then when Alice called, I went and picked out my clothes for the day. After settling on a cute black and white striped tank top with a purple flower on the left side, a pair of Capri pants and some black ballet flats; I added the last touch, my trusty glasses.
I stayed in last night going over my notes for the Delcore's divorce proceedings that would start next week. No you are not thinking about work today, it's Sunday, you know the day of the Sabbath, the day of rest…. **if she's not really religious, think about adding something that says she's not, otherwise people may think she should be going to church instead of lunch (not me mind you)
Glancing at the clock, it wasn't too early for me to give Renee a call. My mother was the kind of woman that when you first meet her you would think, Wow this woman is a complete ditz, but then she would knock you on your ass when she started discussing things like blows per minute and rock sedimentation. You see my 'ditz' mother was a geotechnical engineer. She loved being on a job site with excavator machines and would talk my ear off about it constantly. It completely bored me to tears.
"Hi Mom, how's Jacksonville?" I said.
"Bella! It's so good to hear your voice; it's really nice out today going to be a hot one that's for sure. How's Seattle? Is it raining?"
"Gah! No Mom, it's actually really nice out, I'm going to be heading out for lunch soon. Guess who I ran into and ended up having drinks with the other night?" I said with nervous apprehension. After the whole Forksgate fiasco, my mom was not a real big fan of Edward and my other friends back in Forks.
"I don't know honey, you never tell me about any of your friends or your life outside of work, so who was it?"
"Alice Cullen, you remember her, from Forks?" I start gnawing on my thumb nail in hopes that she wouldn't lose it.
"Alice hmm… She's his sister right?" I could hear the bitterness in her voice, his name was like a curse to her, actually if I was being honest it was worse than calling someone a cum guzzling road whore.
"Yes Mom, actually the whole group went out; it was really great seeing everyone and catching up. That's who I'm having lunch with today, Alice and Rose." Dear God let her be nice, let her be nice…..
"Are you INSANE Isabella Marie? Those girls were not your real friends; they let you sit back and be treated like a common play thing, like you didn't matter and God dammit Bella, you should mean everything to any man who loves you, or claims to love you like that boy did." I heard more mumbling under her breath that sounded a lot like cocksucker.
"Mom its fine, really it was so long ago. Honestly I never knew the truth if they did know it was going on the whole time or if they had just found out the same way that I had." I was trying really hard for her to see things from my point of view.
"I missed them; they both got married, and Rose has a baby now. I wasn't apart for any of that and it kills me, but if it will make you feel better I promise to keep my eyes open." Hopefully that would tie her over for at least a little while.
"That's fine honey, I just worry about you. I'm your mother and I don't care if you are on the brink of turning thirty, I will always worry about you."
"It means a lot to me that you still worry, but please try and remember I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself."
We talked for a little bit longer about her job and how she was just up in St. Paul, Minnesota doing some kind of digging for some kind of tank; I don't really know she starts in on her work stuff and I tend to shut down. After saying our token 'love you' and good-byes, I grabbed my purse and headed down to meet Alice and Rose. I have to admit I was more excited about this lunch. I don't know if it was seeing them or the fact that I knew the guys would not be around, but I wasn't as nervous as I was on Friday night. **too many I's in this paragraph; try rewording last sentence.
Arriving at Palisade just before noon, I was shown a table overlooking the marina. The waitress came up and took my drink order. Before she could return, I heard Alice come walking in and Rose was right behind her. Rose was on her cell phone, "No Emmett he cannot play outside alone, just watch your son… I'll be home eventually…. Well maybe, there are no guarantees". They spotted me and both greeted me with warm, tight hugs.
Alice quickly started in, "So did you do anything fun last night? I mean you are the single girl of the group, and you've got to have a shitton of guys lining up to take you out." Gee Alice fishing much?
"No, I stayed in last night and got caught up on some work," I said putting some bread in my mouth in hopes that would stop the questioning. I was wrong.
"The one thing I didn't hear from you at all on Friday is about a man in your life, please, there has to be someone or a few someone's that you like to spend your time with?" Rose said as she flagged down the waitress.
"There's no one, and there hasn't been, at least not seriously, in a few years." I bit my lip, did I really have to sound so pathetic?
"So who was the last guy to make Bella Swan swoon?" Rose asked raising her eyebrow at me. Is she kidding? I haven't discussed boys with anyone since, well since these two back in high school.
"It's okay Bella, you don't have to tell us." I couldn't help but smile at Alice and her supportive nature.
"It's cool; it just seems like so long ago. I think the last guy to really make me swoon was Riley Paulson, my senior year of college. We dated on and off for about two years during my senior year and a little after. It just wasn't working; I didn't see a future with him so we ended things." Rose looked at me skeptically.
"Really? That's it? It's so cut and dry, almost a little… cold."
"Yeah well it was a long time ago, I've detached myself from the whole Riley relationship." It was a sad excuse, I knew it, but what could I say to them? The truth might be a good place to, oh I don't know, start. Tell them you never fully got over Edward or what happened.
Looking up at the two women that used to be the only ones I trusted, I felt the need to give them something, anything, to take the looks of concern off their faces.
"Well, there is one guy now, but we aren't serious and I'm not really that thrilled with the idea of taking things further with him. Jake, that's his name, is a nice guy and he's really good looking but when he kisses me good night it's like he's trying to eat my face; I mean come on, it's a kiss and it feels like I'm being lapped at by some dog." Okay, totally harsh word vomit much?
Rose was staring at me, mouth wide open like she was going to be catching flies or something. Alice just had the glazed over look. I tried really hard but I couldn't help it, I let the laugh building in my chest burst out.
"You're joking right? I mean there is no way that a guy can be that bad of a kisser?" Rose asked trying to suppress her own laughter.
"Oh God, I really wish I was, but I'm not and I've tried to avoid going out with him again, but he keeps calling; how do you tell a guy that he seems to be perfect for you all around, I mean great look, great conversation, you have fun with him, but you would rather date a Bassett hound then him?" I looked over at Alice and she finally broke laughing uncontrollably.
"A Bassett Hound? REALLY? Oh God he must be bad."
"Yeah well, they can't all be perfect, can they? Okay new topic; I'm no longer discussing my joke of a love life. So Charlie's getting remarried." Please let it work please please please let it work.
And jackpot, Alice squealed, "OMG! Really that's so awesome, who's he marrying? When? Are you going?" I just rolled my eyes and smiled as I gushed about how great Sue Clearwater has been for him.
We ordered our lunches and got caught up on the time we missed while being apart. I loved hearing about Jasper and Emmett and how they both proposed. Rose filled me in on the horrors of child birth. Remember to refill your birth control pills. After our lunches were cleared, we sat drinking our iced teas and diet cokes when I heard a hand slam down on the table and Rose looked at me with a fierceness that is only reserved for those she wants to scare the living shit out of. It's totally working on me.
"What?" I looked at her confused. "What do you want from me?"
"I want to know what happened when you left the bar the other night. I saw you leave with Edward." Rose said giving me some kind of sly smirk like she knew already. **there were a lot of "what's" there so I changed up the sentence.
"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't leave with Edward; I walked home on my own, his apartment is apparently in the same direction as mine." It felt like I was seeking a pardon from the Governor.
"Okay so he didn't walk you home?" I was surprised that it was Rose that was asking the questions, while Alice seemed to be in the know of what went down Friday.
"He didn't walk me home, and I don't want to talk about it. Can you please just leave it alone?" I begged.
"No! We will not leave it alone. He was staring at you all night like he was itching to….to… I don't know. do something; I've never seen Edward like that before."
I turned to Alice, "What do you know?" Her eyes opened wide and just started babbling nonsense.
"I don't know what you mean, I don't know anything. I'm just as curious as Rose to hear your side of everything."
"My side, like you've already heard his side?" I said raising my eyebrow at her.
"Not from him, no, but I may or may not have heard something from Jasper on Saturday night, but come on that's just pillow talk."
"I'm curious, what did you hear happened?" This is going to be rich.
"Nothing okay, I just know that Edward tried to talk to you, but you wouldn't listen and he was torn up about how to make you listen. Bella, he really wants to make things right with you. After you left…"
"No Alice, it's not our place. You need to let Edward tell her."
"Rose, if she won't give him the chance then why not? Maybe it'll help her understand what we all know now."
"Please stop talking about me like I'm not here. What happened to Edward after I left? I thought he was all happy in his perfect life with Tanya." I snarled at her name.
"HA! Perfect… happy… Tanya!" Rose was covering her mouth
"Okay someone needs to start talking otherwise I'm going to leave because I really hate not being in on the joke." Pushing off from the table
"Bella stop! It's not a joke, well Tanya is a joke, but that's besides the point…." Rose chided me.
I turned to Alice trying to look stern, "Talk woman!"
"After that night when Edward learned that you left Forks; he kinda shut down. He didn't want to hang out, he just was locked up in his own little world; it was like the light was gone. We all knew it and we tried everything to get him to the way he was. He finally did snap in August and went to your Dad's house…"
"He WHAT! Charlie never told me about this."
"Yeah well do you blame Charlie? In his eyes he was protecting his daughter from the shithead boyfriend who drove her away when he was finally getting you back." Rose was quick to interrupt.
"Okay go on, he tried to talk to Charlie…and?"
"Charlie slammed the door in his face. but not before tearing Edward a new one and from what I've heard Edward didn't fight back he knew he needed to hear all of that and more. Once we were all UDub he tried to look you up there, but he found out that you turned down the scholarship, he tried everything to find you."
Rose turned to me, "Bella, I know what you think went down that night, and what you think of your whole relationship with him, and what you think it meant to him, but you need to let him talk. Let Edward tell you everything."
I sat back staring at my napkin that was still resting in my lap.
Talk to him? Were they crazy? I can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to scream. I can't give him anything, he's not worth it.
I finally looked up, feeling the stinging of tears behind my eyes. "You guys I'm sorry but I can't. It was so long ago I just wish that everyone would just drop it so that we can all move on with our lives."
Looking at my Blackberry I saw it was almost three. Shit where has the time gone?
"I have to go, I still have ton of stuff to do around my apartment today. It was great seeing you and I had a lot of fun at lunch. I'll call you," and with that I grabbed my purse and I left the restaurant.
APOV
I wanted to cry for Bella, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to tell her that he just freaked out, that yes it started out as a joke, but in the end he fell in love with her; and that for the first time in years the light was back in his eyes Friday night. **I wanna know now!
"Rose, there has to be something we can do. We can't just let the two of them wander around without this getting resolved. Even if they don't end up with their fairytale; they both need this."
"I know Ali, but we've done what we can the ball is now in Bella's court."
RPOV
GAH! She is so frustrating, why can't she just see what's right in front of her face? He's pined away for this woman for too fucking long, and she was just going to throw it away. I knew exactly what was going on here, she was trying to lie to us, and pretend that she didn't need the closure. She was ready to move on. What complete and total bullshit.
"Total Bullshit!"
"Uh, inner dialogue isn't always a good thing when you're with other people Rose!"
"Come on, get your purse we're going to the shop; this is pissing me off, and I'm pulling out the big guns now. Bella needs to see for herself. She needs to knock down the God damn walls she's built up. I mean, I totally get why they are there because that was some fucked up shit he pulled, but she just needs to see."
Alice and I left the restaurant and headed down to Lucky Stars. We have to knock these two in the head once and for all.
EPOV
It was ten thirty on Sunday morning; Jasper and I were getting ready for our first appointments of the day. While Jasper had most of his day tied up with a back piece, I had a few appointments and would handle all of the walk-ins.
I was sterilizing my work area when I heard the familiar strumming of the guitar strings, and immediately remembered dancing with Bella to these words, and singing them in her ear, and meaning every word….
Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
I couldn't help but smile at the memory of her blushed cheeks when I asked her to hike up her skirt for me. Something hit me in the back of the head; I looked up and saw Jasper scowling at me.
"Get your head out of your ass, I know what you're thinking and it needs to stop. I told you the other night and I'll tell you again, let it go. For the love of God Bella has a life without you running around trying to fuck it up."
"No Jazz, I can't do that, I won't do that. Knowing back then she was it for me and let her get away, hell I fucking pushed her away, and for what? Because I was a fucking stupid little kid; who thought he knew better. Thinking I'd get past it and that I'd find someone else. Well there isn't anyone else; no one even comes close to her. I need her back or at least to try. If she tells me that I mean nothing to her, that she doesn't still feel the same, then I know it's over and I will let her go. Until that time comes, I'm going to fight for her like I should've back then, or I'll spend my life wondering what if."
"About fucking time you douchebag." Jasper smiled at me.
What the fuck just happened here? I don't think I'm drunk… or am I?
"What? Care to elaborate on that one?" I was able to stutter out.
"Listen I think you should back off and let her go, but if you honestly still love her after all this time, and really want to make her happy then go for it. But the minute she tells you to back off and leave her alone, you do. Got it?" Who would have thought that Jasper could be almost threatening?
"Yeah I got it, I don't know if I should do the big old grand gesture thing or just start small?" I ran my hands through my hair before rubbing them over my face.
"Start small, simple is always best. Trust me." Jasper and his southern charm, chicks always ate that shit right up.
"Simple is always best." I repeated more to myself.
I moved through my day as if it were any other Sunday. I had a few clients that were looking to either add on to their current pieces, or do cover-ups, which is always a nice way for my day to go. I had to convince one girl not to get a tramp stamp as it was so 1999. Luckily she listened to me.
Around four o'clock the door of the shop swung open and I snapped my head up just in time to see Rose and Alice come walking in. Rose looked pissed and I didn't want to be on the other end of that look. But apparently I was.
"Stop right there Cullen, we're going to have a little talk." Fuck what did Bella tell them happened on Friday?
"What did I do now?" I said rubbing the back of my neck.
"It's what you haven't done yet you douchebag."
"What the hell? Is today call Edward douchebag day and I didn't get the memo?"
I looked at Alice and she had a beaming smile across her face. I knew that smile, she was planning something. Why can't I ever just do things on my own? Why do everyone and their mom have to be involved?
"Listen Tink, whatever you and Cruella over there have planned, stop it right now. I'm handling things my way. I'm a big boy; I don't need my sister holding my hand through every aspect of my life."
Then I saw it, the pain in Alice's eyes. You really are a douchebag.
"You need to watch the way you talk to your sister asshat." Jasper sneered from behind me, as I felt him hit me in the upside the head.
"Edward, we just want you to do what's right and not fuck this up. It's in everyone's best interest if you don't do this on your own. For fuck's sake the last thing you handled on your own is what got you in this position in the first place." Alice said raising her voice.
"Tink, just let me be, I swear I know what I'm doing. If I hit the point where I don't, you will be my first phone call I swear."
"When," Alice said raising side of mouth in a smirk.
"Okay fine, when I need your help I will call you. In the meantime just sit back and let me work. I have woo'd a few women over the years, including Bella. I did it back then and I will do it again."
"Just no fucking notes alright. Be open, be honest. Tell her the whole fucking story. EVERYTHING!" Rose chimed in.
Getting drunk with them a few years ago and finally telling everyone what really went down with Bella is something I still regret. They really can't seem to mind their own business It all started with that fucking note. I wonder what ever happened to that note. Did she burn it in an exorcism to rid me from her life? Did she just toss it away like it meant nothing? Is it still sitting in Forks, under her pillow like it was back then? Or, did she have it with her?
"Tink, Rose, I am going to need your help with one thing. I'm not sure when but can you make sure Bella meets us one night at 88 Keys?" The wheels were turning in my head and I couldn't stop them.
Alice just nodded with a smile so wide I'm sure her face would be hurting later. Rose just gave me a quick nod and then patted my shoulder. "We'll get her there. You just make sure she has reason to stay." With those final words Alice and Rose were gone.
I turned to my computer and with the chant of simple is best in my head I did just that.
BPOV
My Monday was really starting off shitty. There was no other way to phrase it. I was late getting into work; my afternoon deposition was cancelled and needed to be rescheduled but worst of all Aro wanted to meet with me to discuss the potential of another new client. Well, so much for me trying to get a social life. Just when I started to get into the swing of things at my desk there was a knock at the door. "Come in," I yelled without looking up.
"Looks like someone really wanted to…uh….brighten your day?" Angela said with a snicker. I looked up from my computer and was floored at the sight before me. Angela held a large vase filled with nothing but carnations. And not just plain carnations, they were in every single color you could possibly come up with. What the hell?
"Put them on the table for me please Angela." I said looking back at my computer. I didn't need to see the card to know who they were from.
We were standing in the Forks Flower Emporium trying to find flowers for Esme's birthday. Edward wanted to do a nice simple bouquet. "What about these?" he asked holding up a plain white carnation.
"Are you kidding me? Carnations are the worst flower ever created. They are just filler flowers. No one actually thinks they are pretty."
"I think they have a certain beauty in them." He said giving me a smirk. Why did he always know what way to look at me just to make me melt?
"Fun little fact; Carnations used to be used for funerals to cover up the smell back in the old days. Also, I can have the carnations colored into any color you prefer; they are really a versatile flower." The florist told us. I just nodded and walked away.
Angela coughed "So who are they from?" she asked twisting her hands in front of her.
"Go ahead and read the card for yourself. I don't really care what he has to say."
Angela jumped and grabbed the card and then began reading.
Someone once told me these were just filler flowers.
But how can something so beautiful and colorful be filler?
Thinking about you….. E
"Holy shit, E as in Edward?" Her mouth stood agape.
"Yes, Edward, now can we please just drop this?"
"Uh no! Better yet fuck no! I'm making reservations for us for lunch at the Italian place down the street. Be prepared to talk woman."
I groaned. Why can't anyone just let this shit go? Why did everyone feel the need to talk, talk, talk this damn thing to death?
"Hey Ang, do you think I should call him and thank him?"
"It would be the nice, adult thing to do. Are you feeling particularly adultish today?"
"Angela, I don't believe adultish is a word. And no, I'm not about him or about this." Waving my hand at the flower and the card that Angela had placed on my desk in front of me.
"Well then maybe you shouldn't call him. Can you just send him a quick text message thanking him?"
"No I don't have his number, I'll think about calling Alice for it after lunch."
"Works for me, I'm not kidding either, be prepared to share."
As I shooed Angela back to her desk, I found myself staring at the card. Wow, it's his hand writing, he actually went to the store instead of taking the easy way out and ordering online. I shouldn't be impressed by this gesture, I shouldn't be itching to talk to him or see him.
I ran my hand through my hair and groaned. "Damn it all to hell." I picked up my Blackberry and started searching for Alice's number, but I couldn't call her. What am I supposed to say to her? "Hey Alice, can I get your brother's number, he sent me filler flowers and I want to thank him." Yeah she'd pounce on that bit of information like a cat in heat.
I turned to my computer, ah the wonders of Google. I typed in – Lucky Stars – Seattle, Washington. I sat there with my fingers hovering over the enter key. I found myself looking up and over my shoulder. Um you are alone in this office, paranoid much… no one can see what you searching and no one needs to find out. "It's just a phone call." I hit enter.
800,000 hits…. And we have a winner…..
(263) 555-6200
I grabbed my phone and dialed before I could change my mind. What is wrong with you? There is nothing wrong with a simple "Thank you."
Then, I hear his voice, "Hi you've reached Lucky Stars Tattoos, Jasper and Edward are both unavailable at the moment, if you please leave your name, number, and reason for your call we will be sure to get back to you. Oh and we only do walk-ins on Sundays. Thanks and have a great day." BEEP
"Uh, Hi Edward it's me, I…I… just wanted to say thank you for my filler flowers, it was very kind of you to think of me. I guess I'll see you around… Oh and it's Bella."
I slammed the phone down. Oh god did I sound like a complete tool? Wait can women sound like tools? Snookie… anyone?
Thus in turn, thinking of Snookie made me start humming the tune for the Oompa Loompa's. Before I knew it, it was 12:30 and Angela was knocking on my door. "Come on B, let's hit it."
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my purse. Damn the luck for cancellations. **are you talking about the deposition being cancelled? You may want to clarify that.
We walked to Saluto's in complete silence. I was going to end up chewing my lip off; I was scared of my assistant. What the hell is wrong with me? It's not like she's Rose and can maim you with a single look.
Once we were sitting down and had ordered our drinks, she let out a deep breath and looked at me. She started tapping her fingers on the table. I sat there looking at her gnawing on my lip.
"Oh for all that is holy, Bella, talk to me. Tell me what happened that earned you that vase filled with flowers."
"I didn't do anything to earn those flowers. In fact, if you want them you can take them home with you." Wow, could you suck at avoiding this topic anymore?
"Stop avoiding Bella. What. Happened. This. Weekend?"
I groaned for about the millionth time today. "Alright, but no interruptions. Save all peanut gallery comments until I'm through." She nodded I told her everything that happened in high school, everything that I didn't tell Alice and Rose about what went down Friday night. After I was done I blew out a much needed breath of air and I waited… and waited…
Angela was just staring at me slack jawed. "Angela, honey, close your mouth your going to catch flies that way." She snapped her mouth shut, took a drink of her iced tea, and adjusted the napkin on her lap. For Pete's sake the suspense of her comments that I knew were coming were killing me.
"You need to tell him that you are not someone that can be played with and he shouldn't have played you like he did back then. You are better than this and you are better than him. Also to be cherished and loved not treated like some piece of meat and a joke." I've never seen Angela so scowling mad before. I could have sworn I saw steam coming out of her ears.
"Bella, you are more than my boss you are my friend, and I'm telling you this as your friend, the one who has been around for the last 5 years, during your internship, and up the ladder. You need to go home take a nice long hot bath and ask yourself, is Edward Cullen really worthy of my time anymore? Do I really need to hear what pathetic excuse he has for the way he treated me?" And then you need to decide if you really want to bring him back into your life even on a friend's level. I don't think he deserves to lick the inside of your running shoes, but that's just me."
I stared at Angela wondering where all the hatred of bastard men came from.
"You're right Angela, absolutely one hundred percent, right."
"Make one of your lists Bella. Weigh the pros and cons, and sleep on it for like a month, shit like this needs more than a night to fester."
And that's what I did, I went home, opened a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and filled my bathtub. Sinking down into the warm water, I drank while I thought.
I remembered the first time he told me he loved me. We were standing in the rain, after spending the afternoon dancing and jumping in puddles like we were six years old again.
I remembered the look in his eye the night I gave him all of me for the first time.
I remembered the look in his eye as he ripped my heart out. I could see it in his eyes that I never meant anything to him. I was nothing more than a piece of ass, a notch on his bed post.
I remembered the look in his eye when kissed me on Friday. The need, the longing that I'm sure were reflecting in my own eyes.
I closed my eyes and let myself sink farther into the water.
A/N
One last shot out (did I just date myself or what) to the lovely's over at FanFicAholics... check them out... http:/www[dot] facebook [dot] com/pages/FanficAholics-Anon-Where-Obsession-Never-Sleeps/124067670958784
You can follow me on Twitter, I tend to ramble about mercy killings of my husband and desires to run off to far away places...
