Authors note: This is my first story, so I would appreciate lots of Constructive criticism and help, if you would. I would also love any questions or comments you might make, even if it's just as simple "nice." I have realized I tend to put in many commas and dashes; I am sorry, and I am working on that.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own any thing, characters included. My ideas were taken from a mesh of many other people, combined, and personalized. BlackenedNightshade in particular, the story 'Seeking Warmth' gave me the initial idea.
Warning: Gross moment with Dudley. Nothing to bad, just yellow snow. And thoughts of suicide.
Pairings: I have no idea. What happens, happens.
Sorry everyone for taking so long! Thank you everybody who put me on the review list and commented! I apreciate the ideas and compliments! And -bonus- no flamers yet! Whoo! Sorry about the depressing tone, but I wasn't in the best of moods. Point out any mistakes, and I will be sure to fix them! Thank you!
Abandoned to the Cold
2
~/\~
-^- The Freak and the Protected ^-^
~\/~
Harry woke up quickly at precisely 5:30 in the morning. He began lunging out of bed, but he quickly stopped himself when he realized there was a snake lying next to and partially on him. He slowly sat up instead, gently dislodging the snake. Riddle blinked and raised his head sleepily, awakened by the sudden absence of warmth. He seemed disoriented for a few minutes as Harry waited quietly for him to wake up. When the serpent appeared to be thinking coherently, Harry started talking. ::Good morning. Are you feeling alright today?::
It took another minute for the snake to respond.::Oh, just perfectly awake when I should be sleeping. Why are you awake at such an abominable part of the day?:: Riddle seemed extremely irritated, and he made it quite clear in his hissing.
Harry sighed. ::I need to go make breakfast for my uncle and the rest of his family before he goes to work. It will take a while, so you can just stay in my room and hide until I come back. The sheets should stay warm for a small while, at least until I return.:: The snake lowered its head and proceeded to go back to sleep as Harry headed downstairs to make breakfast, softly closing his door behind him.
Expertly avoiding the creaky step, Harry went into the kitchen, remembering to favor his right hand as he barely stopped himself from whistling cheerfully. He had someone to talk with! True, it was not Ron or Hermione, but a snake was a hell of a lot better than Snape or Voldemort! Thinking of the man, Harry's scar gave another vicious throb. It had never really stopped hurting last night, but it had faded in the wake of Vernon's beating. In the light of morning, the pain had returned with a dull ache, reminiscent of an old bruise. Harry sighed and began making a breakfast fit for a king. This was because Vernon thought of himself as a king in his house. Whatever the reason, the breakfasts Harry made had to be abso-stinking-lutely perfect before he had a chance at earning food.
After breakfast, Harry would normally check the list of chores that was attached to the refrigerator. Aunt Petunia updated the list constantly and screamed at Harry if he did not complete his chores before the sun set. If he did, and did so without complaining or looking 'shifty' all day, something he had no control over as his Aunt made up the fact that he was looking at her funny, then he had a good chance of receiving a small portion of whatever he cooked for dinner. When he was lucky and his aunt was in a good mood, he could occasionally earn a small lunch as well. However, this was unlikely to be the case today.
This morning, Vernon would likely be in a horrid mood because Harry had snuck out the night before, so Harry poured all the attention he could into his food. He willed it to be tasty and soothe Vernon's mood. He felt his magic rise up at his request, and an idea hit him. If Vernon even guessed what Harry was doing, he would be signing his death warrant, but if Harry's idea worked, he wouldn't have to worry about another beating.
As Harry worked on the food, he wandlessly willed the food to be tastier and copy the effects of a weak Cheering charm. Hopefully, it would soothe Vernon's temper, but not so much it would catch the man's notice. Harry prayed as he completed the cooking and dished out the food. He retreated upstairs as Dudley thundered down, shoving Harry into the wall unnecessarily. Harry felt his newly healed arm buckle under the weight Dudley was shoving onto him- roughly the tonnage of a teenage whale. Harry bit back another scream and went up the stairs, focusing on healing his arm and avoiding his Uncle.
He gently collapsed onto his bed, maneuvering so he avoided Riddle and barely disturbed the bed at all. Riddle noticed anyways, and sluggishly began moving. ::What's for breakfast?::
Harry sighed, and sat back up. He responded while re-healing his arm. ::When I go out to do gardening this morning, I will point you out the mice living in our yard. I never killed any mice when I caught them, just moved them aside, so there should be enough to tide you over for a few weeks until I go back to Hogwarts. When we go there, if you are still with me, I will be able to take you into the kitchens and I can get the house elves to help. They love to help, and always shove mountains of food at my friends and me whenever we visit the kitchens, so they'll probably do the same for you.:: Harry hesitated. ::I know you are a proud beast, so will you be okay with this? I'm sorry, but you'll have to catch the food on your own now and later deal with it being brought to you. If you're okay with that, we had better go outside and start on my chores before Aunt Petunia comes in and starts yelling at me. She isn't physically abusive, but her tongue is as sharp as a barb. I… try not to listen, but her words worm into my heart, and cut into it from the inside, often laying deeper into my mental scars and tormenting my thoughts….to put it poetically.:: He tried laughing it off, but even he could hear the pain in his voice, so he stopped.
Harry waited for the snake to absorb this. After a few minutes, Riddle sighed and slithered onto Harry's outstretched hand. ::I suppose that if you can deal with that, I can deal with the problems with food.:: Harry grinned, solemn mood forgotten, \and looped Riddle around his neck and chest. He waited until Riddle appeared mostly invisible in his sight.
::You said the muggles wouldn't notice you. How do you do that?:: Harry asked as he walked outside.
Riddle stayed silent until they made it outside. ::I said I was a magical snake. I use one of my natural abilities to disillusion myself- all anyone else can see is whatever is behind me unless I move extremely quickly. Then, I just look like a slight blurring of colors. No one will notice me unless I will so.:: A snaky sigh was heard, and Riddle shimmered into Harry's sight. ::I suppose it would be prudent to allow you to see me.::
Harry grinned as he bent into weeding. ::Sorry it's so cold out. The mice are over there.:: Harry stopped working to discreetly point at a small hole in the foundation of the house. ::When you're done, you can go inside, wait with me, or leave, if you want to.:: Harry shrugged. ::I would prefer it if you stayed, but I would not presume to tie you down if you wanted to go anywhere::
Riddle snorted as he went in the direction Harry pointed. ::Really, now. I said I was abandoned- where, exactly, do you expect me to go?::
Harry laughed. ::I just thought I would offer. This way, I'm not forcing you to do anything.::
Time passed as Harry worked in the garden. Even though it was winter, there was still plenty to do. He had to shift any snow away from the plants within 3 feet in any direction. He also had to trim the plants, as they were looking rather derelict from being abandoned while he was at school. He had to do all this without any tools or assistance. Soon, he was feeling the cold bite at him through his jacket. It was a slow and painstaking process, and Riddle had caught his mice and was ready to go back inside long before Harry was done. However, Harry had forgotten that the snake could not get back inside before him when he offered to let the snake go back to his room, so Riddle kept Harry company through his outside chores.
Riddle was curious about why Harry helped him, and after a while, asked Harry to explain. Harry paused to shrug before explain. ::How could I not? You were in distress, and in dire need of help. I could offer assistance, so I did. I might pay for it later, but as I will help anyone and anything in need if I can, and sometimes when I think I can't.::
Riddle was silent for a few minutes as Harry continued working. ::I can't really understand that. You said it was a sink or swim world, so why do you try to help?::
Harry waited for a moment before replying, never pausing in his work. ::Are you saying I shouldn't? You would be dead now otherwise.:: Harry's tone was slightly amused as he gently teased the snake.
The snake hissed out a yell. ::I never said I was ungrateful, I just asked why!::
Harry realized that the cold was probably not helping the snakes temper any and decided not to get mad at the snake for yelling at him, and instead decided to reply patiently. ::I said it's a sink or swim world, not a dog-eat-dog world. I play the part of the lifeguard at the beach and try to save anyone I can and offer a helping hand. It saves lives, relationships, and other people from some suffering. At a small, or sometimes not-quite-so-small, cost to myself, I can help others. My heart just would not let me do anything else.:: Harry shrugged. ::Hermione, one of my best friends and a real bookworm, says I have a saving people thing. She both admires and pities me for it, I think. I do know that if more people had my attitude, then maybe there would be no need for such extreme attitudes in the first place.::
::But what if there were people who don't deserve saving? Say, for example, your so-called 'family?':: Riddle seemed extremely thoughtful after asking this, and waited intently for Harry's answer.
Harry took a few minutes to think about it, warring with himself. He fought his hatred until he felt he could make an unbiased decision. ::They have earned retribution. They should be punished for their cruelty, but they should be judged fairly. Once they have paid a penance for their transgressions, they should be given a chance, with no help.::
Riddle seemed annoyed by the answer. ::What would you suggest their punishment be?:: He could barely contain himself, and he was wriggling in place while he waited for Harry's answer.
Harry had to stop for a minute to calm the writhing snake, gently laying a hand on its head until it stopped. While he did this, he was thinking frantically. ::I would…would..::
Riddle calmed slightly, covering his tension, but just barely. ::If they could pay anything for their crimes, death or torture, what would you have them pay?::
Harry couldn't talk for a moment. Then he let out a heavy sigh and leaned back. ::I guess I would-:: As Harry took a breath to say something, Dudley threw open the door. Harry flinched back to his work with a low hiss. ::Hide! Get off of me!::
Riddle was clearly angered as he slithered off Harry, muttering foul obscenities under his breath. Harry was almost impressed out of his terror, and committed many of the phrases to memory. Even distracted as he was by the snake, he could not stop the shivers that just barely made his hands tremble as Dudley approached. He knew this was not going to be a pleasant discussion with his cousin.
Dudley waddled closer, a disgusting look of cruelty disgracing his fat face. "Poor little Harry. Stuck out in the cold, with no food or water. Oh wait!" Dudley paused and looked dramatically around. "There is water! Lucky you, Potter! I know how thirsty you were! But snow isn't good enough for you like this, is it?" Dudley sneered, and a very nasty thought crossed his mind and made itself known on his face. "Just wait, Potter. I'll bring you something that suits your tastes." Dudley gave out a laugh.
Harry shuddered. Knowing how sick Dudley was, he had a few guesses as to what he was going to do this time. He managed to stay calm and silent while Dudley went inside and grabbed a large mixing bowl. He brought it back outside, and began haphazardly filling it with snow, making sure every other handful hit Harry and the bushes. Harry shivered as cold snow dripped down his back.
Dudley finally filled the container and brought it back inside. Harry quietly kept working as he waited for Dudley to return. He always did. He was the whale of cruelty, like his father was the walrus of violence and his mother was the horse of guilt. All three warred to cause Harry the most pain. He honestly was not sure which was the winner at the moment, but he felt that it might be Vernon after the broken wand arm incident. He did not know what Dudley had for him yet, though. For all Harry knew, it could be despicable enough to place him at the temporary top for the day.
Voldemort had once been on his list of top torturers, but he had been thrown off the summer after his return. Occasionally during the school year, someone else would surface to the top of the list, but the Dursleys always returned to the top in the end. Once Dumbledore had hit the top, and so had a number of other people. Malfoy mini, Lockhart, Wormtail, the Goblet of Fire, Umbridge, Snape, Bellatrix, and once again Dumbledore. Now however, was the Dursley's time again.
Harry did not look up as Dudley reappeared, remembering a lesson he had been painfully taught years ago. He waited until Dudley handed him the large mixing bowl, a look of sick satisfaction spreading across his features. He looked at the bowl filled with yellow snow and ranked it on his list. Nope, Vernon was still at the top. Sorry Dudley, you failed this round, better luck next time.
Dudley sneered. "Aren't I just the best! I saw you suffering, and out of the goodness of my heart-" Harry struggled to think of any time that suggested Dudley actually possessed a heart and failed- "and brought you some flavored water! See how nice I am! Drink up now, Mummy wants her bowl back in less than a minute." Dudley's face twisted at the end into a malicious grin, and Harry got the message. Drink the bowl of water and-Harry struggled not to think of what else was in there turning the snow yellow-in less than a minute.
Harry wordlessly complied, choking down the snow, persuading himself that this was training for drinking Snape's potions. Strangely, it worked and he convinced himself to wash it down quickly. Success! No more nasty Dudley potions for him today. Harry wondered as he passed the bowl back to Dudley if that or Snape's potions were worse. He found himself distracted as he returned to work and Dudley swaggered off to the kitchen, threatening Harry all the while. He paid it no mind, as it made no difference if he was listening or not.
Riddle looked repulsed as he watched the scene, revulsion forcing him to gag and suppress the urge to vomit, if snakes could do such a thing. Harry glanced up and saw this as Riddle returned to him and smiled, faintly amused.
Once Dudley had been inside for more than a minute, Harry turned to the closest batch of untouched snow and rinsed his mouth out. He felt a biting cold as the snow hit an untreated cavity but paid it no heed, just glad to be rid of any reminder of what just happened.
Riddle stayed quiet as Harry finished his work, sensing the opportunity to talk to Harry about a suitable punishment for his 'guardians' had passed. He sighed at the lost opportunity and managed not to question Harry on what happened until later.
Harry finished his gardening around noon and went upstairs to nurse his blue fingers back to life. He thanked every deity he knew once again for magic. His discovery in the morning had prompted a thought, and he realized he had done wandless magic without a sound or (obviously) a wand. He had tried the same thing while gardening to place a warming charm on himself. It had taken a few hours to get it right before he discovered it was the intent and not the words that focused the magic. He had managed it far more easily when he avoided the incantation and focused on warming his outer layer of clothes and trapping the heat. It had taken many tries, but he managed to make the warmth stick for periods of time without catching on fire. It had happened once, and he had quickly thrown snow on his coat, oblivious to Riddle's confused gaze.
He made it up into his room without grinning while avoiding his relatives. He had a way to make everything easier and get away with magic without his family or the ministry knowing! Well, no owls had arrived, so he assumed the ministry did not know.
When he closed the door to his room and let out his grin, Riddle was tired of not asking any questions. ::Well? Are you just going to stand there grinning like a buffoon or will you tell me what's made you so happy?"
Harry took notice to the snake's mild insult. He was too thrilled with his discovery. ::I figured it out! I can do magic!::
Riddle looked at him as if he was crazy. ::Of course you can do magic, you're the bloody-boy-who-lived! Did whatever you drink earlier-:: he shuddered ::-make you an idiot?
Harry just kept grinning. ::I figured out how to do wandless magic! Feel my shirt, it's warm! I did a wordless, wandless heating charm on it!:: He placed both his shirt and snake on the bed, letting Riddle feel for himself. Riddle was staring at the shirt waiting for the heat to fade, and never looked towards Harry as he changed into a dry pair of clothes as badly fitting as the ones he just took off.
After a few minutes of waiting and staring and the shirt not cooling, Riddle realized he was correct. ::I am impressed! I knew you had talent when you healed yourself, but this is something else! Wandless and wordless, you said?::
Harry grinned and lay on the bed as the snake managed to slither under the shirt to keep warm. ::Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it! Wordless magic is really hard, and having a good grip on wandless magic makes you a legend! I accidentally used it this morning on my uncle's food, and I realized it was like what I do when I heal, so I tried it outside, and it worked!:: Harry lay basking in his achievements for a while and the snake pondered.
After a few minutes, Harry's expression turned into horror. ::Crap! I need to go work on my other chores right NOW. You can come if you want, which I do not suggest, or stay here, but decide QUICKLY! I must close my door so once you make your decision you're stuck for the afternoon until night. Hurry, I need to start before my aunt notices!::
As an answer, Riddle turned invisible for a second before letting Harry see him, then climbed under Harry's sleeve, and once again hid himself by wrapping himself around Harry's chest, letting his head out to see what was going on. Harry gave it a quick grin, then soundlessly left the room, closed the door, dashed downstairs, and began cooking lunch.
He finished the meal to perfection and began on the other housework as the Dursley's pigged out on their meal. As he methodically cleaned the house, he ignored their snuffling as they ate, and then their taunting as they finished. Every once in a while, Riddle whispered in his ear, amusing him as he cleaned the Dursley's pigsty and soothing his temper, keeping from yelling at the Dursley's.
Once they began mentioning his parents, Harry tensed up. Riddle noticed and stayed silent for a moment, curious as to what the Dursley's would stay. He decided that was not a good idea when Harry began shaking and radiating anger. He hissed soothingly into Harry's ear, calming him. Harry was still breathing deeply when he began cooking supper. His hands shook, and he nearly sliced his hand numerous times as he prepared the food.
He thought fiercely to himself as he worked. The animals, daring to put down those who had lain down their life for him! Guilt washed over him, unhelped by cutting comments from Petunia about how her pathetic sister could not do anything right, making a friend with a half-blooded prince and then losing his friendship, getting his father killed, getting herself killed, landing them with a baby which they had so selflessly, so kindheartedly taken in despite their wish to be rid of his entire freakish world! Harry wondered through his growing rage why his magic had not popped out and manifested his anger, as it was liable to do at the Dursley's.
He distracted himself by mentally mocking his aunt's words. They had a heart? A kind heart? Harry decided that if they had a heart, his aunt had a shriveled prune in its place with barely enough warmth to pump her bitter blood through her body and fuel her tongue. His uncle would have a red, angry chili pepper that would occasionally loan its color to his face. But then, Harry wondered, where did the magenta color come from? It was a color that graced his uncle's face, loaning hilarity at the look itself and terror for what the look meant. His cousin had a heart of…Harry took a few minutes to come up with something fitting for Dudley while he dusted the mantelpiece.
Harry was still pondering as he began making their, and hopefully his as well, supper but he could not come up with anything. Rust? No, that came from something useful. Then again, Dudley had punches of steel and he had been weathered from life. His mothers doting had caused him weakness, and led him to be the pathetic lump he was today. Yes, Harry decided, Dudley had a heart of rust, barely held together.
Harry set the table for three and looked at his aunts feet when she entered the dining room. After a minute of thinking, (Harry winced for the poor, unused organ) she finally gave permission for Harry to eat. He thanked her graciously, and under her suspicious gaze (would it ever change?) took his food upstairs into his room. He made a quick trip to the loo before his uncle made it upstairs to lock him in.
Harry ate his food slowly, savoring every bite. Unlike fourth year, no one was supplying him with food, so he had to make do with what he had and make it last. Harry finished his food all too soon, and turned to talking with Riddle. He quickly discovered that Riddle had a wicked sense of humor, a sharp tongue, and quick wit. Harry discussed simple things with him for a while before broaching the subject with his family.
::I hate them,:: he hissed, forcing Riddle to flinch back at the vehemence in his words. ::I loathe my family, my caretakers, the ones who are supposed to shelter me with every fiber of my being. There is not one being on the face of the Earth that could top their cruelty. True, none of them sold me to…pleasure others, but they have done worse without physical evidence. Truthfully, I think it was only a matter of time before Vernon got the idea, but he hasn't yet, and I pray he never will. They cause me pain, every day they ridicule me, beat me, and try to humiliate me. Their excuse? They are trying to beat the magic out of me! Can you believe it?:: Harry cried and buried his head in his flat pillow. ::They pass off their cruelty as a favor! To get rid of the one good thing in my life! The ONLY thing in this messed up life of mine worth living for!::
Harry cried, and cried, pouring out his emotions without letting another sound escape. Riddle warily stayed out of his way, hissing softly to reassure him. Harry sniffed a few times, before he realized what he had just done.
::I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break down.:: Harry let out a shake laugh, feeling like a fool. ::Listen to me, I'm pathetic! It's true what they say, I really am a waste of space! Look at me!:: Harry rose from the bed and slowly changed into his pajamas. This time, Riddle saw what was hidden under his shirt and bit back an enraged hiss.
FREAK.
Scars were cut into Harry's skin, spanning his chest and engraving the damning word. FREAK. Never would Harry be able to forget what he was, for the one thing he loved in his life. For his magic, he was forever destined to be a freak, a waste of space, a unnatural thing in a normal home. Harry looked down at his chest and shuddered in revulsion. Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak. It pound in his head.
Freak. Unnatural. Freak. Weird. Freak. Abomination. Freak. Nature gone wrong. Freak. Creepy. Freak. Abnormal. Freak. Malformed. Freak. Monster. Freak. Freak. FREAK!
The words were buried deep in Harry's mind, body, and soul. He was unloved, a freak, and nobody had ever proven him wrong. ::Freak:: Harry whispered, silent tears once more streaming down his face. ::That is all I am, and all I will ever be, a freak.:: He gave a bitter laugh. ::I'm a freak, no matter what! Look, I'm even a freak in magic!:: Harry felt angry, and his stuff was flying around the the room. ::Look, see:: He asked, staring straight at Riddle, who was watching the display with hooded eyes. ::I can do things no one else can! I can regenerate my throat, mend a broken bone, attract the enmity of the wizarding world, gain the respect of the wizarding world, then proceed to lose and gain their trust again and again! I can be an ingredient in a ritual to bring back someone who will kill someone, I can be a tool of prophecy, I can be a pawn, I can banish the Dark Lord at birth!:: Harry let out a laugh, maniacal and suicidal.
::He-hey! Stop! Don't kill us! Be careful!:: Riddle hissed , growing extremely worried. Various sharp object were now floating around the room, doing a cruel parody of a dance. A particularly sharp eagle quill with an abnormally large point was floating near his head, with a potions knife with a wicked edge neared Harry. ::Idiot! Calm down and listen to yourself!::
Harry said no more, but the objects carried on with their movements, cavorting around the room. ::You may be many things, but you're not all that! You're just made of sheer, dumb luck!:: Riddle frantically cast for words to stop Harry from killing them both. ::The wizarding world is full of idiots! Your no freak, they're just stupid! You are incredibly talented in the wandless arts, a monumental blessing! You should be honored to be needed to revive the most powerful wizard! You are no more a freak than-than-than…Albus Dumbledore a nice grandfather with only your best interests in mind, and that stupid muggleborn you're with stupid!::
The objects had slowed at Riddle's words, and the rage in Harry's eyes had died down. When he mentioned Dumbledore and Hermione, Harry began smiling. It was a small smile, nothing big, but it showed that Riddle had broken through into his thick skull. ::Yeah…yeah, thanks. I don't really believe you, but Dumbledore a kind grandfather? He's an manipulative old coot! Hermione, the muggleborn, stupid? Hell would freeze over before anyone could claim her stupid! She has earned grudging respect from EVERYBODY!:: Pride for his friend shone out in Harry's voice, his anger forgotten. ::She truly has respect from literally EVERYBODY but the stupidest of the crowd! Even her enemies acknowledge it! Ron, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Malfoy-mini, Malfoy-major-pain-in-the-butt, and heck, even Voldemort recognizes her! Apparently, so do crazy people and brilliant snakes!:: Harry grinned.
::Thank you. I really am sorry for blowing up on you. Really though, it's a good thing you're here! I feel like a broken pressure cooker, and the steam has been building up for long enough for me to explode! You helped me make it through the day, and kept me from blowing up the others, and maybe kept me from suicide tonight. I hate op say, but it really was a kinda close thing. You know, I don't know why, but I feel I can trust you and tell you everything. I don't know why; I never tell my friends that much. Something in me just says that you will be there, at least for a little while when I need it.:: Seeing the snake's incredulous look, Harry looked into its blood-red eyes.::I promise I will let you go, but until you leave me, I will protect you. Just now, you saved me. For that, I WILL protect you.::
Harry grinned, broke eye contact, and lay down. ::Listen to me, being all sentimental tonight! I blame you, Riddle! As punishment, you must not leave until I have a way to keep you safe!:: Harry quieted, and prepared to go to sleep. ::All joking aside though, I really will protect you. I will protect you, as you just protected me. Sleep well, Riddle.:: Harry turned over on his bed and went to sleep, all thoughts of suicide banished temporarily, feeling slightly foolish for his declaration, but knowing every word he spoke was true. He felt from the bottom of his heart that the snake would not let anything happen to him, at least for a while. Safe and content, he drifted off into a more peaceful slumber than he had had since Voldemort was resurrected.
Many hours passed while the snake contemplated before he too fell asleep, comforted by the protection Potter had pledged him.
Updated November 28, 2010
Words: 5,085 story only
