Author Notes: I don't know how this chapter became so ungodly long (over 8500 words) and I could have cut it in half I guess but I have an outline for this story and everything that happens in this chapter is supposed to happen in this chapter damn it! So, sorry for the long read, but know that it appeases my OCD or something.


Conversations in Cars

part two

...

She sat in her room, on her bed, and took a careful tally.

Another day, another uncomfortably tense encounter with Damon. Or three.

Another unsuccessful visit to the tomb to see Stefan.

A continuing failure on her and everyone else's parts to address the pressing threat of the Originals and the curse hanging over their collective heads.

Not a great day.

And by now everyone knew about her plan to sacrifice herself, and she was being watched from every angle. If she was going to try again to contact Klaus it would take more finesse than simply 'ask Rose' could deliver.

Of course she was going to try again, it was just a matter of timing. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she would do something normal, like eat dinner with her family, and watch TV, if only to remind herself that it was still possible - for now at least.

She got up, leaning over to absently smooth down the covers on her bed on her way out of the room. As she straightened she brushed her hair back behind her ear, turning to the door. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw it, a dark figure behind her in the mirror. Him.

She screamed, whirling around to find - no one there. She had seen Elijah in the mirror, she was sure of it, but she was alone.

She turned again to check the mirror, but by the time she looked again the reflection of her room had returned to normal and Jeremy was there with her, grabbing her arm and looking around frantically for the source of danger. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Nothing, Jer, sorry. I - I saw a shadow and jumped. It was stupid."

"Elena?" Jenna's voice came from downstairs. "You okay up there?"

Jeremy was still staring at her, obviously having a tough time believing her.

"Sorry, I just saw a spider!" she called back to her aunt before Jenna had time to worry, the lie falling easily from her lips.

"Oh god," the disembodied response was immediate. Jenna hated spiders. "Please tell me it's dead. Is it dead? Don't tell me it got away - I like this house and I'd hate to have to move."

Jeremy answered this time. "I got it, Jenna. Chill." Then, more quietly, "Seriously, Elena, nothing?"

"I'll chill when it's dead Jeremy Gilbert! Is it dead?"

"Yeah, I got it," Jeremy yelled back, never taking his eyes off his sister. "Don't worry, it's dead."

"Are you just lying to placate me now?"

"Well, are we lying, Elena?" Jeremy said.

When Jenna spoke again she was halfway up the stairs and her voice reached them more clearly. "Don't get me wrong, I mean I'm cool with that, just don't tell me the truth."

The conversation in two parts had gone past absurd, and Elena rolled her eyes and went to stick her head out her door. "Everything's fine, Jenna."

Jenna smiled up at her through the banisters. "I believe you."

"I don't even think I could count on both hands the number of times I lie to her every day," she couldn't help saying quietly as she went back into her room.

"You ever think about telling her?" Jeremy said.

"I worry we might have to one of these days."

"Elena, you'd tell me if something was going on, right? Something else, I mean."

"Yeah, of course." She made herself smile, like it was the truth.

But he was still watching her; everyone was watching her. Maybe including someone nobody expected.

...

Stefan lingered near the invisible barrier for a long time after Damon left, taking Elena off with him. Hopefully taking her home, where she would be safe, or safer, at least. He stood there watching the light from above fade, casting the outer chamber in deeper shadow, then full darkness.

It was then that he became aware of the light approaching from within the tomb, as Katherine came down the passageway swinging a lantern from her fingers.

There was a time, before he ever new Elena, when he studied this human girl from afar, searching for any sign of the woman he had known in 1864.

Now when he looked at Katherine he had trouble not seeing everything there was of Elena in her. They were so different, it should have been easier to separate them in his mind. Would he never be free of her? The thought occurred to him often. But perhaps she was part of his penance, and he would be free of Katherine when he was free of the memories of his darkest deeds. In other words - never.

He turned from the empty doorway and the darkness beyond and moved past her, retreating, avoiding, before she could say anything.

It was his only option, really. The day before she had tried to coax him into conversation all day, teasing, flirting, provoking. She'd gone into his dreams the one and only time he'd dozed off. He'd sleep again eventually, they both would, but for now he'd avoid that too, as long as he could.

"What else did Damon bring us?" Katherine called after him.

"Look for yourself," he replied. The backpack was sitting back near the entrance, untouched, next to an empty plastic bottle and a copy of Ulysses.

"Hm, candles, lighters, fuel for the lantern - boring. A deck of playing cards - how thoughtful. Another book. Hm, do you think this one's for me?" She trailed after him, the circle of low light surrounding him again. He looked back as she withdrew a hardcover novel from the bag and held it up so he could see the cover. Eat, Pray, Love. She tossed the book away with a wry laugh. "Damon always did have a good sense of humour."

"Not one I ever shared. Two books neither of us wants to read, and a deck of cards that probably has one card missing. That's the kind of thing Damon finds humorous." He smiled wanly. "Probably the queen of hearts."

Katherine removed the cards from the box and thumbed through them. After a moment she declared, "Fifty-two, all there. You were wrong, Stefan. Maybe that's the kind of thing you find funny, deep down. Or maybe Damon just has a little too much going on right now to spend time on silly jokes."

She dropped the cards back in the bag and let it fall to the floor as she drew near. "That Elena, she's a real handful, isn't she?" As she brushed past him she pressed something into his hand - a card. He glanced down, knowing what he would find. The queen of hearts. "Give me a yell if you want a game of Go Fish." A laugh echoed through the tomb as darkness surrounded him once more. "Or Snap."

...

It had been two days now since Elena had seen Damon, but just because she hadn't seen him, didn't mean he hadn't been there.

For example, though she didn't test the theory, she was pretty sure he was watching her house at night.

During the day she was less certain of his physical presence at any given moment, but it didn't actually matter.

Because he'd gotten to everyone.

Her brother, her friends - Bonnie and Caroline seemed to be taking it in shifts never leaving her side, even though she knew they both had more important things to deal with. Caroline was helping prepare Tyler for the full moon which was in just a few days, while Bonnie was working with Luka, trying to work out how to break the moonstone curse. Still, one or the other was almost always at her side, between classes or driving her home after school.

Jeremy was in on it too, of course, and he was the worst - he was so disappointed and angry about what she'd tried to do in Richmond, and it was so hard not to respond to that. He simply couldn't understand what she was willing to do to protect him and everyone else; he loved her too much. She appreciated that. It still didn't change anything.

She'd caught all three of them getting and sending texts at random times that they were too careful to keep her from seeing. She knew exactly who they were messaging.

Even Alaric. Whether in class or in the evening when he was hanging out at her house, he kept eyeing her like she was going to dive out the window at any second in a desperate bid for freedom. He'd tried to talk to her after History the first day back at school after everything happened - it was as awkward and uncomfortable a conversation as she'd ever had, and he was clearly hating having it as much as she was. She told him she was fine, that whatever Damon had told him, he'd been exaggerating, and she got the hell out of there. She wasn't sure which one of them was more relieved.

The whole situation was humiliating.

Damon had taken on the role of stalker-slash-bodyguard with relish, and it was all the more infuriating that he was doing it from afar, by manipulating the people around her, and so denying her even the small satisfaction of hating him to his smirking face.

For two days she'd been in a holding pattern. Two days of not going to the tomb, not trying to find a way to reach Klaus, worrying about when the other shoe would drop and not being able to do a thing to stop it. She may as well have been lojacked.

She had to do something. Even if it was the one thing she really didn't want to do.

Caroline was waiting by her locker after school.

"I wanted to bite Marissa Gordan's face off during Chem lab today. Aren't you proud of me that I didn't?"

"Um, sure." Elena swapped her books for her messenger bag, arranging the strap over head so it crossed her body. "Although Marissa was my partner for a Biology project last year, so I actually know the feeling."

She gave Caroline a small smile. She was making an effort not to be resentful. They were her friends and they were doing this because they cared. They were wrong, but she couldn't exactly hate them for it.

She closed her locker and they set off together, Caroline making conversation as they made their way out to the student parking lot. She mentioned Tyler, and Elena asked how that was going.

"Do you think you'll be ready to handle it? You've only got a few more days, right?"

"Well Tyler kind of yelled at me today when I asked him for an update. I'm going to let him stew overnight, think about whether he really wants to piss off the only person willing and able to help him, and revisit in the morning when he's suitably apologetic."

"He doesn't stand a chance."

"Of course he doesn't. So hey, I'm free all night, want to hang out? We could watch bad tv at my place, you know my mom won't be home till whenever - oh, we can order Thai food! But I should warn you in advance, the amount of chicken pad lao I can put away in one sitting these days is not pretty."

She couldn't help smiling in the face of Caroline's onslaught of enthusiasm. "Um, maybe. Sounds fun." They reached Caroline's car, the other girl started looking for her keys. She took a breath, ready to get it over with. "Caroline, would you mind driving me to the boarding house? I..." She sighed. "I need to see him."

Caroline stared at her, surprised. "Sure," she replied slowly. The topic of Damon had been practically taboo through all this. "Do you have one of Mr Saltzman's terrifying stake guns like hidden in your purse?" She held up her hands. "No judging. Honestly, the last time I helped try to murder a really mean, scary vampire, I was brilliant. You want me on your team."

"See him, Car, not stake him."

"Fine. I'm just saying."

She rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Let's go."

...

"Well, well, what a pleasant surprise," Damon appeared moments after they pushed their way through the front door. "What could possibly have brought you two to my door on this fine afternoon?"

"Um, well," Caroline began before Elena could speak. She realised Caroline was practically bouncing on her heels.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Oh like I had to ask." He jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen. "Beat it."

Caroline left Elena's side and scuttled past Damon, apparently eager for an afternoon snack. "It wasn't even my idea to come, Elena wanted to see you," she tossed over her shoulder before disappearing around a corner.

"Like I said, an unexpected pleasure," he said, continuing to play the gracious host. He reached around her to shut the heavy door, then moved away further into the house. "So come on in. What's up? Been a few days since we last caught up. Nice to see you with your head still attached to your body."

She trailed after him, refusing to be provoked.

"Oh hey, followed your advice and called Rose. I left a message. It's a continual surprise how she's totally failed to get back to me."

She held back a quip about how that must be a first for him - a girl not calling him back. She wasn't here to talk about Rose. "Have you been back to see Stefan? How is he?"

"Oh, he's great. Saw him this morning."

"He's great?"

"He's about as great as you would expect him to be, Elena, what exactly is there I can do about that besides precisely squat?"

"You mean, besides get him out of the tomb?"

"Yes, that's what I mean. You've become kind of an angry person of late, did you know that?"

"When are you going back?"

"He'll be hungry again in a day or two. We won't let him starve, don't you worry your little head."

"Yeah, well that's easier said than done."

"Listen," he said, his tone sobering somewhat as he made his way over to the ever-present collection of bottles and decanters. "You know I'm not going to leave him in there, right? We've had a couple extremely productive screaming matches lately, you and I, but I'm pretty sure I tried to convey that a time or two."

"Yes, you've said it."

He quirked an eyebrow over at her. "Don't trust me?"

She was caught for a moment, finding it difficult to answer the question. Because... in a way she trusted Damon more than anyone else in her life. But that trust came from knowledge rather than pure faith, and because she knew him... It really wasn't about trust at all, it became about something else. A different kind of connection.

Finally she said, "I trust you not to leave Stefan in the tomb forever."

He caught how carefully she answered, and the smirk on his face deepened. "Good, that's good. I'm so glad."

"Me too."

"Heard from Bonnie about Project Kick That Moonstone's Ass - she's making progress with that mini-warlock, right?"

"Apparently."

"Well that's good too, aren't we happy about that? No? Still with the doom and gloom?"

"I want to see Stefan, next time you go. I'll go with you again, okay?"

"'Cause that turned out real well last time."

"Will you take me with you, or not?"

"I'll think about it."

"Fine. I'm sure you can find a way to let me know what you decide. Like, you could have someone pass along a message."

Suddenly he was a lot closer than he had been a moment ago. "Is there something else you wanted to see me about, Elena?"

They faced off for a moment. She was not going to explode at him about his stalking-by-proxy, it was just what he wanted. But he obviously knew it was bothering her, and that she wanted to explode at him. And he knew that she knew he knew. And so, staring.

"No," she said finally. "Is there anything you needed to tell me about? Besides Rose not returning your calls?"

"Can't think of anything."

"Fine. Caroline!" she called. "Are you ready to go?"

"Um, almost!" came the disembodied reply from the direction of the kitchen.

"I'll wait out at the car. Bye, Damon." She went.

"Wait." The word held her frozen, two steps into the entrance hall. "All right, hang on," he muttered reluctantly as he joined her.

"What?"

"I'll take you to see him, you know I will."

She actually hadn't been expecting it to be that. "Oh. Thank you."

"Plus, I kinda lied. I haven't been back to the tomb. I was planning on going tomorrow, but I suppose I could move it up to this afternoon. If you really can't live without seeing your BF, who am I to stand in the way of that Stephanie Meyers level of devotion?"

"Why'd you change your mind?"

"You mean, who am I to stand in the way of you recklessly running off on your own to see him the second my back is turned? Plus, you know, you look at me with those big brown puppy-dog eyes - what am I, heartless?"

"I kind of assumed."

It was a joke, made automatically, the kind she would have made without thinking before all of this. Now she stopped and asked herself whether she really wanted to be joking around with him when she wasn't exactly feeling jovial and it kind of came out sounding like she wasn't joking at all.

Damon just quirked an eyebrow. "Nice. Wanna go see Stefan or you wanna insult me? I thought so. Hey Big Ears, you can come out, now."

Caroline appeared. "It's not like eavesdropping is something you can control when you have super hearing, okay?"

"Whatever. You done eating me out of house and home?"

Caroline held up a half-finished blood bag with a small, cheeky smile. "No, but I can take this to go."

"How I wish you would."

Caroline made a face at him, but paused on her way out with a more genuine smile for Elena. "Good luck with Stefan."

"I'll call you later. Thai food, remember?" It was a token offer, she felt bad for not being more enthusiastic about spending time with her friend. They hardly ever got to just hang out any more, and it wasn't Caroline's fault Damon was using her in his intricate web of surveillance and megalomanical control over her life.

"Sure, see you."

They gave each other a small wave and then Caroline was gone. Damon retraced Caroline's steps, ducking into the kitchen. Elena assumed to get blood from the refrigerator, but he returned with a large brown paper bag.

"Think you'll actually make it down the stairs, this time?" he remarked as they made their way out to his car, referring to her aborted visit to the tomb the other day when she hadn't been able to bring herself to see Stefan.

"I felt like I couldn't even face him," she admitted, looking out across the lawn to the trees beyond. "Now I just want to see him, no matter how awful it feels."

"Romantic," he muttered to himself so quietly she doubted whether she was meant to hear.

They got in the car, Damon tossing the brown paper bag in her lap. She opened it to peek inside as the car started down the long drive.

There were the bottles of blood she expected to see. But there was also a bunch of candy bars, a can of men's deodorant, a book of crossword puzzles, and a few magazines that looked distinctly like...

"Porn?"

Damon shrugged. "I just asked myself what I would want if I was stuck in confined quarters with the original psychotic ex-girlfriend."

"So, chocolate and porn."

"There's also that." He glanced over his shoulder.

She swivelled to look where he indicated, peering at the odd-looking pile of scrunched up blue plastic lying on the back seat.

After the porn, she wasn't sure she wanted to even ask what it was.

He rolled his eyes, seeing her wary expression. "It's an inflatable couch. Just because you're living in a hole in the ground, doesn't mean you can't be comfy."

She raised her hand to her mouth, hiding a smile, then a reluctant laugh. "Don't you ever get tired of irritating him?"

"Who, Stefan? Century and a half, still hasn't gotten old."

She rolled her eyes. Then she thought of something, and reached for her bag, wedged on the seat beside her, and rifled in it till she found what she was after. "Book of crossword puzzles, no pen?" She held up a couple of ballpoints and pointedly added them to the paper sack.

"Gee, good thing you thought of that, Stefan would have found that innocent oversight on my part really irritating."

"Uh-huh."

...

When they pulled up to the side of the road at the increasingly familiar spot along the edge of the woods, Damon took his time shutting off the engine. He had something to say.

She was sitting there eyeing him warily. It was a shame the sudden resurge of amiability between them was going to be so short-lived.

"The thing is I still don't trust you as far as I could throw you right now," he began, then stopped. "Actually that's a terrible analogy because I could throw you a really long way. But you get my point, right?"

She nodded slowly. "Nothing's changed," she said.

"Nothing's changed," he confirmed. "I just - I just wish you'd stop and think for even a second -"

She interrupted him. "I don't have time to stop and think, Damon. I'm going to be dead any day now, I don't have time for anything."

He wanted to comfort her - it was his first urge, to tell her everything would be fine, no one would hurt her. Maybe try a hug. But he wasn't that guy, and even if he was, she didn't want it from him.

Instead he said, "Well they'll have to go through me to get to you, so the last thing you'll see will be my gruesome, painful death - that's gotta cheer you up, right?"

"Not really. I don't want anyone to die for me. Not even you. And I'm getting really, really tired of saying it. Listen, thank you for bringing me. I'll take the blood down to him by myself, okay? I just need to see him for a few minutes - I know we won't be alone but..." She shrugged. "It's as close as we'll get."

She grabbed the bag and turned to get out, and his hand closed around her arm.

He waited till she let go of the door handle before releasing her. "Can't let you go in there alone, and you know it."

"I'm not going to cross the barrier, okay? I was upset last time, but I know there's nothing I can do. Can't you trust me even with this?" She rolled her eyes. "We both know you'll be listening from up here, anyway." She turned away again.

He stopped her from going again, this time without touching her. "She'll hurt him." Elena froze. "Elena, come on. Think. You'd make the best collateral she could get her hands on. You go down there by yourself, she'll rip Stefan's heart out, and when you run screaming to his side, which she knows you will, because that's what you do, she'll have you."

Quietly, she said something even all her crazy danger-seeking behaviour to this point had not prepared him to hear. "So maybe I should go in there."

"What." The word was so flat it wasn't even a question.

"Even Katherine knows you'd do anything to get the barrier down if it was me in there with her, but not your own brother?"

He didn't respond. Not with words. Within seconds he had the car back in gear and was pulling back out onto the road in a shower of dirt and gravel.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"You think you're going anywhere near that tomb now?"

"You can't - what about Stefan's blood, he -"

"Can wait a while longer. Jesus, Elena."

"I was just - I wasn't going to - ugh!" She threw up her hands. "Just take me home, I don't even know why I -"

"Just keeeep talking. I can hardly hear you over the sound of how pissed I am right now and for your sake it's probably just as well."

Damon frog-marched her from the car right up to her door, and handed her over to the younger Gilbert with strict instructions not to let his completely insane sister out of his sight for the foreseeable future.

Then Damon went home and started drinking.

...

It should have come as a shock to precisely no one that Elena tried to sneak out that night. What might have been slightly more of a surprise, given the level of scrutiny she was under these days, was that she succeeded.

Ric was downstairs with Jenna, but he wasn't about to come check on her in her room, that was Jeremy's job. And the moment her brother went into the bathroom and she heard the shower start, she opened her window, climbed out, and - in a move Damon would have really appreciated - almost killed herself lowering herself off the porch roof. But she did it. And then she was running. She didn't need that much time, really. The old church ruins weren't that far.

If only she hadn't blurted out what she said to Damon in the car. She'd just wanted to point out his own hypocrisy - she had absolutely no intention of actually doing it, going in the tomb, even if it meant getting Stefan out soon. She wanted to - she really wanted to, but she just couldn't do it.

Klaus couldn't get to Stefan in the tomb. But he could get to everyone outside it, and she still had every intention of offering herself in exchange for their lives - whether she could find a way to make it happen, or he came to her himself first.

Right now, she just had to see Stefan.

She needed to see his face, and hear him say reassuring things, tell her it was okay. She always felt calm, and good, and right, when she was with Stefan.

She stopped to catch her breath when she finally reached the top of the stone steps - the twenty minute jog from her house shouldn't have felt so long. She was kind of out of shape apparently, the cheerleader in her was disappointed.

Feeling a little trepidation, she smoothed her hair back before heading down to the tomb.

He must have heard her approaching. She smiled when she saw him standing there, in the low, wavering light coming from further back along the tunnel behind him. Her smile faltered as she drew nearer. His arms folded over his chest, his face was closed off, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

"What are you doing here?" His eyes moved beyond her, as if looking for someone else. "Where's Damon?"

"Stefan, I had to see you."

"You can't be here."

"Stefan -"

"No, Elena. I'm sorry -" For a moment his guard fell and she saw how much he was hurting. Tears came to her eyes. "Please go back, please? It makes it harder to see you, knowing you aren't safe and there's nothing I can do - do you understand?"

"Of course I understand!" she cried. "That's all I feel any more, that there's nothing I can do. How can you expect me to stay away from you, too?"

"Because you'll be doing it for me. Go home, Elena. Listen to Damon - you know he'll do what he has to to keep you safe. That's how you can help me."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He smiled for her.

She swallowed hard. She'd had enough of lies, she couldn't bring herself to lie to him, too. "I'm sorry I can't do that."

His face fell and he moved forward instinctively, only to come up against the barrier. He stepped back, a chagrined look on his face that she knew hid so much more. "Then we have nothing more to say to each other." He said this and was gone the next moment.

She started forward, eyes straining after him into the depths of the tomb. "Stefan!"

Suddenly another figure swung out from around a corner. "I think Stefan needs some alone time."

She blinked tears from stinging eyes. She wouldn't cry in front of Katherine. "Damon said..."

"Damon said? Did he say when he was dropping by again? Tell him I'm hungry and would kill for a change of clothes."

She took a steadying breath. "Would you hurt him?"

"Who, Damon? I think I probably already have, poor thing. Sensitive, you know."

Elena shook her head, and glanced past Katherine, indicating who she was talking about. "You say you - care. About him. But you'd do anything, wouldn't you, to protect yourself?"

"I think we know I'm not the self-sacrificing type."

"It's okay. You won't have to."

Katherine just smiled, and ran her hand almost lovingly down the invisible wall separating them.

Elena turned away.

She climbed the steps, hunched over on herself with her arms wrapped around her waist. Nothing about this had made her feel better.

She started the walk back through the trees. The moon was up, almost full, so there was enough light to see by. And she knew the way so well even at night there was no trouble finding her way. When she reached the road she took her phone from her pocket - the only thing she'd brought with her on her great escape, because she might be reckless and suicidal but she wasn't stupid - and texted Jeremy to let him know she was okay. She didn't want him to worry. Or send out a search party.

Then she started to walk again. But she wasn't going home.

There was only one place for her to go now.

...

It was around midnight that night when Damon, who after several hours of deftly applied alcohol therapy had a pretty good buzz going, got a phone call from Caroline.

"What?" he answered lazily.

The first words out of her mouth were, "What did you do to Elena?"

"What?" He sat up straighter, shaking a little to clear his head.

"This time, I mean," she clarified.

"Caroline, what's wrong with Elena?" he demanded, then paused to add, "This time, I mean. Where are you?"

"She's okay, sort of. Technically, I can say that she's physically safe. But she's also, basically, drunk off her ass, and rambling about how much she hates you. So I guess I did the math on you doing something to make her, well, hate you. Again. Some more."

He allowed himself to relax just a bit. There was no nervous fear in Caroline's voice to suggest she was lying to him. So Elena was drunk. It was the perfect night for it, as far as he was concerned.

"Far be it for me to deny anyone the pleasure of finding the cure to all life's problems at the bottom of a bottle. The question is," he added as he got up from the couch and wandered back over to swap his empty bottle for a fresh one, "Why are you whining to me about it?"

"If it helps, I think she's mostly projecting. You're an easy target, but mostly I think she's upset about, you know the whole 'ancient vampire curse, Stefan's stuck in a hole in the ground' thing."

"Yeah, it's possible. I have been royally pissing her off lately, though. Although the feeling is definitely mutual."

"Well you're talented that way. But seriously, got any clue how to talk her down? It's been fun, but it's a school night and it's late and my mom is calling me telling me to come home only I can't because of Elena's emotional crisis. Which I perfectly understand, don't get me wrong, I'm not insensitive, but apparently tonight my mom has decided I have a curfew."

"Are you at Elena's? Just pour her into bed, or let Jeremy take over babysitting, what's the problem?"

"No, we're... out. Do you think it's okay to take her home? What if she blurts something out to Jenna, I mean, she's pretty wasted. I guess if I get her up to her room right away - she'll probably pass out pretty quick. She better, my mom is calling like every five minutes. Well, she called twice, that's pretty serious for her. I better not get grounded over this."

"Way to handle things, Caroline." He groaned, looking to the ceiling, knowing what came next and kind of hating himself a little bit. "Look, just... tell me where you are, I'll come get her."

"Not a good idea, she hates you, remember?"

"She'll deal. You, meanwhile, need to go home and stop making your mother worry."

"Gee Dad, thanks for the tip."

"Caroline..."

"Okay, god. We're in the park, the one by the falls - drinking alone in the dark like a couple of vagrants. Or like, homeless people. Wait, is that what 'vagrant' means? Whatever, if anyone sees us I'll be mortified, so could you hurry, please?"

Of course, he was already on his way.

...

They were off amongst a small stand of trees, which sheltered a wooden picnic table. Caroline was seated on one of the benches. Elena was on top of the table, sprawled on her back. A very large bottle of vodka was tucked protectively to her side.

Vodka, of course. Such girls.

"Ladies. Having fun, are we?" he called as he approached.

"Don't look at me like that," Caroline jumped to her feet and trotted over to him, whining like it was her job to be annoying. "She called me from the liquor store, and she's my best friend, okay? If she wants me to compel a guy to sell her some stupid alcohol, I'm going to do it. And I'm going to let her drag me out here in the middle of the night to be hobos in the park."

"Well the sisterhood of the travelling on thin ice is officially disbanded."

"Since when are you such a killjoy, Damon?" Elena taunted. She was now standing on the table. "You used to be more fun."

He looked up at her, then back at Caroline. "Bye, Caroline."

"Right. Bye Caroline," she confirmed quietly, before making the wise choice to flee while she still could.

He stood contemplating the best way to get Elena's drunk ass home with the minimum amount of headache involved while behind him Caroline's car pulled out of the lot.

He was nothing if not a fan of the direct approach.

He walked over to the table and grabbed her around the knees. Surprise and uncoordination sent her lurching forward off the table with a high-pitched yelp, landing hard over his shoulder.

"Whoa," she said, as he strode back to his car toting her limp form.

She didn't seem to quite realise yet what had just happened. And she was still somehow hanging on to the over-sized bottle - he could feel it bouncing off his ass with every step.

Her brain caught up to her situation as they neared the car, prompting a belated reaction.

"I'm so going to hurl on you, Damon, and you are so going to deserve it," she said very seriously.

He set her back on her feet. She swayed predictably, reaching out an unsteady hand to anchor herself on the side of the car.

He watched her suspiciously. "There's no hurling in my camaro. You can walk home."

She waved a hand dismissively, her every movement exaggerated and comical. "I'm not - I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna barf. It was an empty threat, because I was upside down. And because you suck."

He was torn between being annoyed and being amused. That he could find her charming while drunk and obnoxious really betrayed something deep-seated and pathetic in his nature, he decided.

He settled for opening the car door and pointing. "Get in."

She went easily enough, flopping down into the seat still clutching the half-empty bottle. He shut the door firmly and rounded the car.

"Time to go home," he announced as he joined her from the other side, sliding into the driver's seat and fitting the keys in the ignition.

"I went to see Stefan," she blurted out.

His first reaction was anger. Anger, mixed with fear, and the urge to swear. But it was gone as fast as it arrived, and all that was left was to lean his head back and laugh. "Of course you did."

"And now I'm drinking."

"Of course you are. Is it helping?"

Wordlessly, she passed him the bottle.

"How did everything get so screwed up?" she said as he raised the bottle to his lips.

Lukewarm vodka. He grimaced as he swallowed. Kids today.

He took another, longer drink and finally answered, "That's easy. Katherine happened."

"But -"

"No no," he held up a finger, "Don't think, just blame Katherine. Makes everything so simple."

She frowned, then brightened. "None of that pesky responsibility for us, it was all Katherine's fault."

"Always was, always will be. Global warming? Katherine did it."

She snorted absurdly, making him smile. "War on Terror?" she giggled.

"Katherine again," he confirmed.

"She gets around."

"Not so much any more, though."

She reached over for the bottle but he swivelled, turning his back to her and keeping it out of reach as he drank deeply.

"Can I -? Hey, that's mine. Damon!"

He laughed as he evaded her hands. "Get your own."

"That is my own!"

She almost overbalanced into his lap lunging for the bottle, and it was then that she withdrew back into her seat, some apparent need to preserve a little dignity restraining her.

Game over, he offered her the bottle.

She just sighed, looking at her hands in her lap. "Okay," she breathed, "Let's talk."

...

"And what are we talking about?" he said after a moment.

The engine not running, no lights on anywhere, nobody around. Sitting here in the quiet dark with him in the middle of the night, she was tipsy and relaxed. It made her brave enough to do this.

"So you care about me," she said. "Don't bother - that thing you do where it's all sarcasm and eyebrows. We both know the truth. Just shut up."

"Conversations sometimes involve two people, I think."

"Shut up. I'm still trashed and this is hard, Damon. I hate what you've been doing, it's not what I want, but I know - I know. So you don't have to pretend like it's... nothing."

He waited for more of her rambling speech, but she was silent for a long time while she gathered herself together, focused on what she was trying to do.

"I do care," he admitted slowly, "About a lot of things in this extremely high-maintenance little town of ours. And that's not something I ever thought was even possible."

"That's - good."

"And then there's you."

"Damon -"

"I'm not saying - I'm just saying you're right. There's you. So. You shut up. Did I mention I'm kind of drunk, too?"

She smiled shakily. Her hands, she thought, might tremble, so she kept them held tightly in fists in her lap. She drew in a deep breath. "The thing is... I still wonder, you know, about that night. In my room."

For a second there was a look on his face she wasn't expecting - surprise? He looked strangely vulnerable in that moment. She didn't understand where that was coming from, but it disappeared quickly enough as she pressed on.

"When you killed Jeremy - I still don't know how you could do that to me. Half my family is already gone, and you tried to take him away, too."

His expression hurt to look at. But she was getting to him. She'd been getting to him for days. For months. It was always going to be this easy.

"Before I saw the ring... I haven't felt that way since the day I woke up in the hospital and they told me my mom and dad were dead. I never thought anything could feel like that again - and you put me right back there, holding my little brother's body in my arms. I've seen you fight to protect Stefan, Damon, I know you know what that's like, when they're in danger, how protective you feel. But that night there was nothing I could do."

"Elena -"

"You owe me, Damon. If anyone on this earth owes me, it's you. You tried to take him away from me and now you are going to help me save him."

His eyes were closed, and for a moment she hoped, but then - "No, I'm not."

"Yes you are. Please. Damon, if you do, I'll forgive you. Really forgive you." As she stared at him, pleading, he slumped back in his seat and regarded her tiredly.

"You'll be dead. Forgiveness from a dead chick doesn't sound so appealing. Get back on your good side just long enough to watch you get yourself killed? Awesome, Elena. Don't you get I'd rather have you alive and hating my guts forever? Let's face it, it's basically what I deserve." He shrugged. "Go ahead, hate me all you want, it just makes my job easier."

She was out of the car, slamming the door after her a second later.

It was her last chance. A last ditch effort. Her last resort: getting him on her side. And it failed. She'd been as big a manipulative bitch as she knew how to be, and it got her nowhere.

And now he thought she hated him. And maybe she really did. How could she do something like that, otherwise? How could she be this person?

"Elena!" he called behind her. "Don't be a drama queen, come back here."

She didn't answer, and then she felt him a pace behind her. "I'll walk. It's not that far."

"Then I'll walk too. It's even less far for me."

"Shut. Up."

"Hey, it was a noble attempt. You almost had me. But you were working from the premise of me having a conscience. And we both know I'm a soulless jerk. You really want to change my tune, there's always seduction. It's a perfectly respectable option."

She shook off his hand as it landed on her shoulder. "I'm not that desperate."

"You clearly are, but you also know that won't work either. Oh, it'd work fine, the seduction part. Feel free to seduce me any time you like. But it won't get you what you want. Hey, are you...? You're crying."

"I'm drunk. Haven't you ever seen a crying drunk girl before? It happens."

"I know. They make an easy meal - basically fast food for vampires. Hey, look. You're just - you miss Stefan. And you're... scared? I don't know. It's understandable to be upset and... soggy... at a time like this."

She rounded on him, furiously swiping the tears from her face. "I'm not upset, Damon. I don't miss my boyfriend. God, yes I do, but that's not even the point. I'm angry Damon. There is nothing I can do about anything that is happening to me. Nothing. Everyone I love is going to die and I'm just helpless and I hate it."

She sobbed into her hand and he, apparently, had reached some self-defined limit of what he could try to do with words. He put his arms around her, pulling her close. It was a terrible hug, he was tense, unsure, just waiting for her to push him away.

She didn't. She was still for a few seconds, assessing, and then eventually she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. God, she was so tired.

"Now would be a good time to tell me everything is going to be okay," she said in a voice that came out surprisingly steady.

"Want me to lie? I'll lie. I will cross that moral boundary for you, Elena."

He was babbling. His hugging had improved, but he was still not helping. Why wouldn't he just help her?

"Why not?" she said into the comforting leather of his jacket. "I lied. Before. It doesn't matter what you do, I'm never going to forgive you. I'll never forgive you."

But just saying the words brought home very clearly that this was the real lie.

She'd wanted to hurt him, and she wondered if she'd succeeded. He hadn't moved, he was warm and solid against her and around her. If she'd hurt him, he was strong enough to take it, she decided.

And anyway she didn't know how to take it back. The lies kept piling up, it was too confusing and complicated for her alcohol-soaked brain to parse out.

So she just mumbled, "Sorry. I don't - I didn't -"

"I never asked you to forgive me. Just - shut up, Elena. It's fine."

She was pretty sure there had been a time when they'd never lied to each other.

Now it was all they seemed to do. It broke her heart a little, that she couldn't fix what was wrong here. But it would take more than she had to give right now.

"Come on, Girl Gone Wild." He unwrapped his arms from around her, turning her back in the direction of the car. "I'll take you home."

...

He sat where he could see the tomb entrance. Not so close as to seem pathetic. Not so far as to remove it from plain view.

He found a pebble within reach and tossed it, watching its arcing trajectory, its momentum carrying it to freedom beyond the invisible barrier, bouncing to a stop a few yards across the floor.

He'd spent over three days now avoiding Katherine as best he could in such a small space while simultaneously becoming attuned to her every movement, her every wandering step and bored sigh. His attempts were futile of course; there was nowhere to go to escape her. And at times like this, it was honestly easier not to. It was easier than feeling guilty for turning away from Elena when she had come hours earlier.

He knew she was there before she spoke.

"Hungry? I know I am. Looks like he's forgotten us already. Didn't take long. But we'll wither and dry up together, at least. There's something poetic about it, isn't there? I might just compose a sonnet."

He told himself not to engage. It never ended well. It was what she wanted and he would consider the rest of his life well-spent if he could just refrain from ever giving Katherine what she wanted ever again.

But he said, "An Ode to Gathering Dust?" with a wry smile. And it was difficult to chastise himself too much. He'd been here for three days and he was pretty damn bored, too. He'd already read Eat, Pray, Love.

"Not like anyone's going to come in and throw an old sheet over us. That would be the civilised thing to do."

"You could have had some of the blood Damon brought."

He'd finished it slowly over the course of the evening after his brother's visit. No point saving any for later - blood spoiled, even though it was fairly cool here, underground, in the dark.

"I'll need to be desperate," Katherine said simply.

"Explain it to me," she said next, after the silence stretched out between them. "The animal blood." She sat down across from him, a few feet down the passageway, stretching out her legs and crossing her feet. She played idly in the dust under her fingers before looking up to meet his eyes. "You may as well, there's nothing else to do. And I'd like to at least try to understand. Although I don't think I will, honestly. I don't think I'm even capable..."

She sounded sincere. He reminded himself not to believe it. And yet he found he wanted to tell her anyway. Because honest or not, what harm was there in hoping, even if just for a little while, that she was wrong? That she was capable of more?

He opened his mouth and began to speak.

It was late and she was almost asleep, but when she heard the quiet beep signalling a new text message Bonnie rolled over and reached for her phone where it lay next to her pillow.

It was from Damon.

Tomorrow, it read. Bring your witches hat. We need to talk about Elena.

...


End notes: The next chapter will cover most of the events in 'By the Light of the Moon', only hopefully not so pointlessly. This story will, I promise, get to a shippy D/E place (rather than the kind of angry, hatey, why-won't-you-do-things-my-way-god place they are currently) but it'll be another chapter or two yet. I'm trying to like, build up to it and junk. Thank you for reading!