So this is what it feels like to have people read your stories...

Thank you all for your alerts and feedback. As promised here is the second chapter. Please keep in mind that I do not know enough French to even order coffee in a bistro, much less have a jab-fight, so PLEASE tell me if I'm wrong, and the proper way to say what they're saying.


He'll never see it Coming

Okay, so he DOES clean up well, Kurt thinks to himself as they're doing their mash-up, trying to keep the best football coach the school's had from resigning. And those two bulges… GAGA! I am not checking out my 'boyfriend.'

Damn, Hummel's got a nice ass. And it looks like his boys might be bigger than mine. For a brief second Puck stumbles with a mildly disgusted-but-turned-on expression, but is masked by Finn being about a second-and-a-half late in the spin. Hmm, I'm actually interested in finding out.

Santana sees this and points it out to Brittany, who nods in agreement. They've always been able to have instant conversations like this, at least as long as they can remember. Something's going on, and it isn't just a joke.

After changing back into their street clothes, the other boys begin to leave. It was tense in the dressing room, not because of the fact there were two dudes that liked dudes (one for sure), but because most of the day was spent having to make comments like "I didn't know" and "That's news to me." The first half of rehearsal that day was shouting and a general "What the Fuck?"

Kurt walks up behind Puck, who's still fidgeting with his backpack, and snakes his arms around him. "You were pretty hot back there," pressing a light kiss to the back of his neck. Hmm. Is this a fake-boyfriend-feeling or just a hot-guy-I-get-to-feel-up feeling?

Puck zips up his backpack and wraps his arms over Kurt's. "You weren't half bad yourself. And don't get me wrong, you move pretty well…" Puck unwraps his arms, spins around, and pulls Kurt into a soft hug. "But your face didn't show it. You looked… out of your element." This should feel wrong, but it doesn't. But it's a GUY!

Well no shit dummy! "And what wasn't I expressing correctly?" Kurt says with true ignorance of what he did wrong.

"Confidence, which you got, but not the sexiness/sultry we were looking for."

"So you were checking me out then?" Seriously? A straight guy checking me out?

"Only as much as you were." I know I've got the bulges you want. I do have mirrors…

"I was not checking you out Puck!" Crap, he saw that?

"Right, and I wasn't staring at your ass. I am your boyfriend, aren't I?" Man, people know we're together, what's not to get? Bye bye rep…

"Well, yeah, but-" Kurt's cut off by a sudden kiss from Puck, light and tentative. It's over in a few seconds, both boys are slightly flushed.

"Is that better babe?" Puck asks, his amber eyes eager yet patient. That was actually pretty nice. Hey, wait…

"Umm," Kurt stammers, looking for the right words. I've never felt this way. And it's from a FAKE kiss! "I think so. I've just never…" Kurt trails off, and under his breath mutters "Karofsky-made-me-feel-cheap."

"Karofsky did what cheap?" Puck asks, trying to fill in the gaps. That porky bastard's done MORE to Kurt?

"No, nothing. How should we work on my sexy?" Kurt tries to lie, but Puck pulls him closer.

"What. Else. Did. Karofsky. Do?" I don't care about the bet now, I just need to pound someone's face in.

"I-I can't tell you sweets-" Kurt tries to ignore the question but is lightly shaken by his boyfriend.

"Tell me, PLEASE!" Puck knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn't care. I'm tired of people hurting him like this… even though I'm still doing it.

Taking in the empty choir room, noting that even Brad's gone, Kurt whispers "He kissed me. I thought he was going to rape me…" Kurt's confession is barely audible, his voice breaking, eyes flooding with tears.

Puck holds Kurt tighter, letting the shaking sobs rock his body as well. He does everything he can think of to placate the distraught boy. "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop that Kurt. I WON'T let it happen again. No one touches you unless you want them to," he pulls Kurt away enough to lock with those enamoring frost-blue eyes. "Even me. If I ever go too far… feel free to crush my boys, got it?" Ouch… I'm gonna be sterile after this I'm guessing.

Kurt just nods, his sobs now just causing hitches in his breath. "Thank you. For this," Kurt says as he buries his face in Pucks shirt, noting that it's soft. Despite being off the rack of some hellhole store like Target.

Puck smiles, a real smile, and ignores the voice in his head telling him to bail and get used to riding a bike. "I'm your boyfriend, that's what I'm supposed to do. And sex you up when you feel like it." He winces at the horrified look Kurt gives him, his own eyes saying Fuck!

"If I ever want to be 'sexed-up,' I'll be sure to send Finn, Dad, and Carole somewhere so we can be alone. Until then, just hold my hand?" I did not just think of Puck being naked and at my disposal, did I?

"Just give Finn a good headset and he can suck at Halo or CoD for hours." Puck chuckles.

"Short of a zombie getting in front of the TV, with a cooler or fridge next to him, I'd say days," Kurt replies, trying not to snort.

Suppressing giggles, Puck finishes with "Okay, so until then, shall we work on dancing? I guess you need to know what sexy feels like before you can project it." Puck breaks the embrace, extends his hand, and asks "shall we?"

"Sure. But if I feel wood, I'm bailing faster than NBC did with the Original Star Trek series."

"Dude, you like Star Trek? Huh…"

"Other than the lack of gay characters, yes. Deep Space Nine rocks!" Kurt smirks as he allows Puck to dip him, noticing the smirk.

"No way Princess, Enterprise was the best in the series."

"How in the hell?" Kurt retorts as he spins into Puck, back to chest, and rolls his hips. "Temporal Cold War, genetically enhanced soldiers, and an obsession with Pre-Warp cultures?" When they're face to face again he sees Puck's smile.

"I can prove it," he smirks as he dips Kurt and plants a kiss to his lips, moving his hands to cradle Kurt's head while supporting all of his weight.

Once his lips are free, Kurt stands up and folds his hands, saying "I can go for that. Later." He grabs their backpacks. "In the meantime we have homework to do." Damn that was hot.

"Seriously? That's it?" Puck asks, more disappointed than angry or annoyed.

"You do know what happens after homework, right?" Kurt asks with the perfect amount of sultriness.

Puck almost trips over his own feet to keep up with Kurt's strides toward the parking lot.

(_)

Okay, how did I not see this coming? Puck thought to himself as he waited, helpless, as Kurt was rummaging through the racks and shelves looking for the perfect set of clothes for an outfit. How in the hell is this not 'good enough?' he thought as a hideous vest was picked out. I'm gonna get pounded by them before I even get a shot at Kurt. Hey, what am I saying?

"Which one looks better, this one," Kurt holds out a dark brown vest, "or this one?" Kurt holds out another dark brown vest. If he's really a little gay, he'll see a little difference.

"Umm…" Puck trails off as he tries to notice any difference between the two. "Neither of them look good. How about this," he says as he takes everything Kurt's taken and sets it aside. Puck quickly pulls a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, a cobalt blue Dickie shirt, and a dark forest green vest into a set. He holds it up for Kurt's approval.

"Noah…" Kurt is left speechless. So he knows how to dress, but doesn't? How can someone other than Rachel and Finn do that?

"Don't tell me you thought I had absolutely no fashion sense? This is one of those things that I was telling you about – your fashion. Guys dress for utility first, then show," Puck says while disappearing into the changing rooms. "No peeking!"

"Ne t'inquiète pervers!"

"You're the pervert! I want to surprise you," Puck replies as the slider clicks into place. Oops. One less secret I guess.

Wait, Puck knows French? Since when?

Puck changes quickly, but waits until Kurt's facing away from the changing rooms before coming out. These are actually pretty comfortable. I bet they'll rip pretty quickly in a fight though…

"Voir ce que tu veux babe?"

"Vous pouviez balancer aimez maigre…" Kurt's jaw drops at how… revealing, those jeans are. Not to mention that Puck looks like he just came off the runway of some Milan fashion show.

"Eh bien, c'est deux langues je peux pantois po," Puck coolly replies, strutting up to his boyfriend. "Tant qu'il vous achetez, on peut toucher il vous voulez."

Kurt tries to pretend to be checking the hems and buttons, but his hands are grabbed by Puck and placed on his chest. Their eyes lock, trying to find any lies, falsehoods, anything they can use as excuse to end their respective acting roles. Neither boy finds any, so they kiss. A hushed gasp from a girl putting the previous garments away breaks them apart.

Looking down Kurt sees Puck's wearing the dress shoes as well. "I guess, umm, I'll…" Damn! He's really trying, and he's HOT!

"Yeah, I'll, umm…" Puck nods to the changing rooms and gives Kurt a peck on the cheek. He releases Kurt and heads back in. Why does he have to be so goddamn adorable? Fuck!

(_)

Puck's so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't even see Santana making a beeline for him until she pushes against his chest. He looks up to see an angry Latina staring him down.

"Okay, so I was trying to get a hold of you the whole weekend, but rumor has it you spent it with your boyfriend," she spits out, words cutting. "Since when is this," she sweeps her left hand down her body, "not what the Puckster wants?"

"Since one – you're a bitch, and two – Thursday after Glee. You're just not hot anymore," Puck says, believing the conversation's over. Apparently it isn't since she grabs him and spins him into a locker. "Hey, I got places to be and people to try and do."

"What's gotten into you? Ladyface?"

"And, what? Brittany's not enough for you? They have toys for that you know."

"Screw you! You ain't tappin' this ever again!"

"Been there slammed that," Puck says as he bumps Santana away and leaves. Hmm, Kurt's not at his locker… He ignores Santana yelling 'pillow-biter' as he begins to jog. He hears the familiar sound of banging metal and begins to run toward it.

"You really don't want to do this. You know who I'm dating!" Kurt says, voice raised.

"Yeah, whatever. Like you're gonna tell him anything!" Karofsky sneers, opening the lid to the dumpster.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you David!" Kurt spits out, his loss of patience beginning to show.

"He's right, loser!" Puck shouts as he runs to the group. Great, it's the Pentagram of Ass. "Put my boyfriend down, NOW!"

"You're really falling for him, aren't you fudge-packer?"

"At least he doesn't have implants asshole! Let him go. NOW!" They don't need to know I'm actually, really, 'angry-hulk' pissed.

The jocks let Kurt go, but Karofsky tries to snag him back by grabbing his messenger bag. Wrong move closet-case. Kurt turns into the spin and punches Karofsky right in the jaw, sending him staggering back. When Azimio goes to grab Kurt, he gets kicked in the balls, sending him thudding to the ground crying.

"Nice work babe! Wanna go somewhere I want to go for a change?"

"First, we need to talk," Kurt says as he walks past Puck, determined.

"Better get your woman in check," Strando adds, wincing at the writhing, crying jock holding his nads. Puck just decides to flip them off as he follows Kurt.

Why do I get the feeling I'm gonna be bitched at for nothing?

Once at their cars, Kurt leans on the door of his Navigator, exhausted. At least, that's what Puck read. He was wrong.

"Just two weeks ago you wouldn't have done anything to stop that, and six months ago you were the one doing that! What changed?" I just can't believe this guy! Just how much is riding on this bet?

"Hey, calm the fuck down dude! I told you, I didn't know how violent it was getting. And they prolly think you somehow made me gay!" Seriously? He lusts after Finn of all people for over a year and suddenly he gets a clue now?

"Are you gay? Just what the hell are you Noah?" Kurt doesn't care about getting some kind of revenge. He needs an outlet for all the rage and hurt that's been building up at a furious pace since the first day of Freshman year, when someone turned the bullying dial to 11 and added a second one, also at 11.

Risking it, Puck presses himself into Kurt, pinning his front to the black SUV. I don't like seeing him like this. It isn't cute. There I go again… what the hell? "I'm someone who sees how alone you are, and wanna do something about that. You think I have anyone to go home to other than my sister?"

Kurt just turns his head, poorly fighting the tears pouring from his eyes. Furious, repressed tears that demand to be released. "That didn't answer my question…"

"Lesson two: Guys aren't vague like that. It's mostly direct like 'that bitch said I've got a small one' or 'he called me a pussy, so I decked him,'" Puck replies. "I didn't do anything before because I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't notice you because I was listening to morons who wouldn't know class if the Saudi Court Hostess gave them personal lessons."

Kurt turns his head, looking into those amber eyes yet again. He sees fear, but not the type he thought. It's the kind of fear that kept Rachel away from Finn for so long. The fear Karofsky had when he was finally confronted. He just might be interested on his own. That what Kurt thinks. He unfortunately says "There is no hostess. Saudi women have few if any rights."

"Fine. Elocution lessons from RuPaul herself. Or a spot on Drag U."

Kurt can't stop the snicker from escaping his lips as he lightly places his hands on Puck's hips. "There's no way you watch Logo."

"I would've liked to see more from Porkchop, and Raven got robbed," Puck says with a smirk, placing one hand on Kurt's hip and another on his chest. "I really do watch Logo. Too Wong Foo really freaked me out though…"

"Jackass," Kurt says as he places a chaste kiss to Puck's lips. "So, Noah, what did you think of Shangela?"

"Bitch please," comes the response against Kurt's lips. Damn! I'm getting totally turned on kissing Kurt fucking Hummel!

Kurt can't help but giggle, slipping his hands around Puck and nuzzling his neck. "Bitch was a hot mess, wasn't she?"

"You knew better when you were ten, so I hear."

"You know better, Mohawk," Kurt replies as he runs his fingers through the short strip of hair. It's really soft… and a little oily. "What do you use in your hair?"

"Dax, why?"

"Oh dear Gaga! We are getting rid of ALL of those jars, NOW!" Kurt screams as he pulls Puck into his Naviagtor. "There are tons of better products."

"What's wrong with Dax? I like it," Puck whines. Did I really just whine?

"If they sell it at Wal-Mart for half price, it's not worth it. Besides, you want something that can be restyled without having to reapply." Dear Gaga help me! This boy's dense!

"Umm, Dax does let you do that, and I seem to remember you having a bang problem last year. Mostly a nervous twitch-thing," Puck smugly finishes, chairdancing in his seat.

"Well… I… huh?" Kurt fumbles, trying to find a response. Damn, he saw through that. Arrrg! "Okay, fine. At least try a jar of what I use and let me know how you like it?"

"Sure. It's at least worth that if it's good enough for you." Hey, free swag!

"So Noah, sweets, where do you want to go for our date?"

"How good are you at paintball?" Hey, he has to at least try it to lie about it.

Kurt's hands have a deathgrip on the steering wheel as he pulls up to a red light, face alabaster-white pale. "Never played. It's too messy."

"Not really. You wear coveralls and you can get a face shield," Puck replies, smiling. "Unless you want all that pissed-off energy to build up and explode into something Trenchcoat Mafia-like."

Kurt squeaks out a 'fine' and heads to the range. At least Finn did something for me over the summer…

(_)

Okay, so my hair's messed up, my clothes reek, and my ears are buzzing a little from all the headshots, Kurt thinks as he's tossing the coveralls in the hamper. He glances at Puck as he quickly tosses his coveralls and helmet, paying the attendant. Good Gaga he has a sexy smile, even if he's trying not to be sexy. And those teeth… I never thought I'd be attracted to someone's teeth. Other than Dr. Howells' of course…

"Earth to Kurt Hummel, come in. We have a delivery for you," Puck teases as he stows Kurt's helmet on the proper tray. "So, other than mussing your hair, how'd you like it?" He asks as he fixes the smaller boy's hair.

"It was… liberating," he replies. "It seems more, satisfying,to humiliate someone than to physically hurt them."

"Okay… but I was fishing for 'can we do this again?'" Puck asks, remembering his lecture about being direct.

"… Sure, I don't see why not. There aren't any paint blotches anywhere, are there?"

"Were you clothes orange before we started our rounds?"

"Oh dear Gaga!" Kurt screams, looking for a mirror.

"Babe, I'm kidding. Your clothes are fine," Puck says as he pulls Kurt into his arms. "That militia look was pretty good on you."

"Really? I figured you for more of a desert-cammo kind of guy."

"Nah. Forest hides more 'stains,'" Puck replies, pressing a kiss to Kurt's lips, smirking.

"If you want more lip time, we should go somewhere else. We should have my place for about three hours…"

"Makeout session, or more?" Puck asks, happiness filling his voice. Then I can go back to what I really want and patch things up with my fuck buddy.

Kurt pulls Puck to him and presses their lips together. He slowly opens his mouth, opening Puck's with them. He gently sticks his tongue out, lightly grazing the jock's teeth. When Puck moans his teeth part slightly, allowing Kurt's tongue entrance. When Kurt's tongue touches Puck's, the jock tenses, then breaks off the kiss.

"No, it isn't that I don't want it! It's just… Damn! That was electric babe!" Puck says, calming Kurt down. Holy fucking shit! Best… Kiss… Ever..?

"So… take advantage of your boyfriend's empty house to make out?"

"Oh. Hell. Yes!" Okay, I'm now totally fucked… and not in the getting off kind of way.